50. The Act

The Act

Luella

The square neckline of my wedding dress is low, the fabric taut with my labored breaths. The gauzy fabric pools at my feet, and the tight bodice hugs my newly healed ribs. We’ve been at the temple of the Furies for hours while Cassius' own Praetorians announced our wedding in the streets.

The temple is beautiful in a hard, unforgiving way. Instead of arches, the lines connecting the columns are straight and severe. The marble columns and altars aren’t adorned with jewels or flowers, but instead with metal. Gold, silver, and bronze inlays show each of the Furies meting out judgment. The columns around the courtyard at the center are woven tight with ivy, the only touches of color in the space. The dark leaves are almost menacing, their sharp tips creating small fangs of shadow on the white pillars beneath.

Ceremony only requires us to sign paperwork to be wed, but Cassius has other plans.

“We will be a beacon to the people, to the plebeians. To the women,” he had told me last night after the attack. “And with a public wedding, it will be harder for the Emperor to move against you. And…”

“And once he thinks you’ve had me, he won’t be as interested?” I finished for him, seeing his discomfort.

It was likely true. The jealousy might ease enough for us, for me, to stay safer while we worked towards our goal. As for being a beacon, I hadn’t understood before.

I do now.

Cassius is in his white and gold imperial jacket and trousers, while I am in solid white with gold nerium flowers stitched along the hem of the dress. We look like gods. Add that to the fact that we’re exchanging vows, a practice that is highly unorthodox, and we’re doing it in the temple of revenge and punishment?

Cassius doesn’t just mean to kill his brother. He wants to destroy the fabric of his reign.

The furies have three symbolic priestesses: Tisiphone, Alecto, and Megaera. Each is adorned with metallic paint. Megaera is bronze, Alecto is silver, and Tisiphone is gold.

“We are here to unite two souls as one,” the priestess representing Tisiphone says. She had tied a golden rope around my waist, which Cassius is meant to untie during the ceremony.

“Dominus Cassius Evander, do you take Luella to be your wife?” Tisiphone continues. My last name doesn’t matter, as I’m expected to be Luella Evander or even just Evandia now. Belonging to the Evanders.

But bold, brilliant Cassius has other ideas. He drops to his knees in front of me, clasping my hands in his. “Luella Amulius, I would marry you in any temple, in front of any gods. I would know your soul through any eyes. I will honor you and your wishes. And, I will not let you become anything, except that of your own choosing. Will you do me the honor of becoming the Domina Luella Evander?

He asked permission. He prostrated himself before me.

He knelt.

Cassius Evander had just won the hearts of every woman and every good plebeian man in Divus. But not mine. Still, I smile, soft and sweet beneath my gold veil. Another calculated break in tradition, to abandon the red.

“Rise, Dominus. You do me a great honor.” But I don’t kneel, or even bow. I meet his gaze. “You are nothing like I expected, yet I find myself in awe of your bravery and integrity. I would love to become the Domina Evander.” My words are rehearsed, but I mean them nonetheless.

Cassius unties the knot at my waist, the golden thread hanging loose, and gathers me into his arms as Tisiphone says, “The Furies bless the Dominus and Domina Evander!” His lips find mine, more tender than I expected, and my breath leaves me in a rush. He pulls away, a small smile on his lips.

The temple comes into focus around us as the crowds' cheers grow louder, chanting our names and our titles, I can’t help but be affected by the spectacle, by the hope.

And that terrifies me.

This is the most dangerous time, for me. Cassius and I must return to his room without drawing the Emperor’s attention. While the people are not surprised that he didn’t attend the wedding—he’s a busy man after all—he will be, since he was not informed it would be taking place today.

Cassius thinks that until the marriage is consummated, the Emperor will be interested in me.

So we rush back to a separate suite he had prepared for us, near the servants’ exit of the Domus Aurea. Hidden.

When we enter the rooms I notice the pristine white linens first. Marriage beds and their white linens. My shoulders tense, but Mia gave me just the vial to remedy that situation and the first thing I do is fold down the top sheet and lie in bed.

Cassius gapes at me as I roll around in the sheets, thrashing through the pillows and tangling the sheets about my legs. I move to the side and eye the area that aligns with my waist, then dump the bright red contents of a vial onto the sheets. A small smear of blood forms and I lay back, returning the empty vial to my pocket.

“There, consummated.”

Cassius rolls his eyes as if this was very juvenile and says, “It doesn’t happen that quickly.”

“Have I wounded your pride, Dominus?” I laugh.

“Not at all, Domina. I just want to make sure you have the facts,” he says, challenge in his eyes.

“And what are those?” I swing my legs over the side of the bed, coming into a sitting position and resting my head in my hands and my elbows on my knees.

Cassius comes to kneel in front of me, our faces lining up. “I would never expect my Domina to do so much work, nor bleed so early.” He captures a hand, kissing each knuckle slowly. The warmth I felt at the ceremony returns and I bite the inside of my lip.

“Not all women bleed, especially if it’s done right,” I challenge. “Besides, I’m hardly chaste.” I shake my hand out of his hold.

“Even more reason to take my time,” he says. “Remind you why you married me.”

“We both know why I married you,” I say, quirking a brow. Perhaps this is the trap I had been anticipating clipses ago, waiting for me to admit my treason.

“Yes, but do you know why I married you?” He recaptures my hand, kissing my palm and laying it against his cheek. “Do you know that I can hardly breathe when you leave my sight? That our plans mean nothing to me if they risk you?”

“You don’t need that act here, Dominus. You’ve already won the people.”

“I don’t care about the people.” His eyes search mine, the blue and gold like a midday sky with not just two but many suns, many rays of light. “Luella, I care about you.” I’m not breathing, not daring to move and Cassius must sense the tensing muscles in my legs and the roaring in my head to run, because he rushes to continue. “I always wanted to eliminate him, to stop him from hurting our siblings. And then I wanted revenge, yes. The republic, though? I don’t care about the republic. Then I thought about what you’ve done, what you’ve been trying to do all by yourself. To fix things, to save people. That’s why I wanted the spectacle at the temple.”

“I don’t understand.” My words come out softer than I intend, curious instead of insistent. It frightens me, that I don’t see his motives as clearly as I see my praedas’.

“I bowed to you, Luella. I named you my equal, the Domina. I don’t need any of that to take down the republic.”

“Then why did you do it?” My heart thunders in my ears, the treacherous, dangerous thing that it is.

“So that once we destroy him, I can take the city.” I nod because that’s become obvious, but he goes on, bringing my hand back to his lips. “So I can take this city, and give it to you.”

Time stands still and I think perhaps I am fevered. Had Cassius poisoned me and now the hallucinations have taken hold?

“I don’t want the city.” Do I?

“You deserve it. You won’t have just the city, either; you’ll have everything,” Cassius says, fervently. I shake my head again. “If you don’t want it you can change your face, leave me, and never look back. You can play your game with me, kiss and kill. But perhaps… you will want to stay.”

“I thought that night at the tavern, you were… shocked,” I say.

Cassius laughs, the sound deep and throaty. His lips move up my arm, to the inner side of my wrist where he nips at the skin. “I was aroused, Luella. Mesmerized. It didn’t seem like the best time to beg you to let me taste you.”

I shake my head, confused. “Cassius are you ill? Feverish?” Perhaps we have both been drugged.

“Perhaps it’s the block shape of my head, scrambling my wits.” He smiles and puts his hand on my cheek, the mirror to how he placed mine on his a moment ago.

“You are a matulo ,” I whisper. Then he kisses me, soft lips and pressure and yearning and passion all pressed into me so perfectly that for a moment I lose myself in it. Cassius leans forward and I fall back to the bed and then he’s over me, deepening the kiss and I feel breathless, heady.

“Wait,” Cassius says, scrambling off me.

“Cassius what—” I start to ask, but Cassius tugs me after him, so we’re both standing. Then he’s walking me backward so that my back is against one of the posters of the bed.

“I’m not your mark, Luella. I’m not trying to take from you,” he says, kissing me again. His hands are gentle at the back of my neck, then at my waist. “I want you to see what I mean.”

I can’t think as his hands squeeze my waist and caress my hair and my cheek. As my blood rushes and my core heats and all I can actually think is that I want. I want Cassius, on me and near me and with me. He kisses my jaw next, then a spot on my neck that sends a shiver through me and Cassius must feel my skin pebble because he kisses it again, biting me softly.

I give in to the desire heating my skin. The fire engulfing my nerves and my senses. My hands wander across the plane of his chest, his shoulders, into his red hair.

Cassius brings his lips to my ear, brushing against the shell as he whispers, “Tell me what you want, Lue.” But I don’t know exactly what it is and a whimper escapes me. More. I just want more.

I must say it out loud because Cassius kisses below my ear, and then he’s behind me, kissing my neck and the column of my spine where it meets my hairline as he undoes the multitude of buttons holding me together. My dress falls to the floor and Cassius' hands aren’t on me anymore but his mouth is. He’s biting my shoulder, grazing my neck, and I realize he’s taking his clothes off, too. He comes in front of me again, gaze heavy as he takes me in.

“Any form, any face, I would desire you.” I doubt that very much, but I care even less at this moment. He’s beautiful in a way I wasn’t sure a man could be. The muscles of his shoulders spread down into a strong chest that then tapers to the v-shape above his manhood. A cock is just a cock, and I stand by that, but Cassius' doesn’t make me want to gag.

Everything about him makes me feel desire.

“Don’t be so dramatic, matulo ,” I say.

He huffs a laugh, kissing me once more. Then slowly working down, kissing the tops of my breasts, the plane between. He slips my nipple into his mouth, sucking hard until my back arches and then he repeats the exquisite motion on the other, twisting the first between his fingers.

I’m burning, growing impatient with his teasing, his tenderness. “Cassius,” I growl.

“Yes, Domina,” he says, dropping all the way to his knees. Then he lifts one of my legs, my weight shifting to the other, and places it on his shoulder. He traces my inner thigh with kisses as one hand holds my leg in place and the other steadies my waist, pinning my hips back against the bedpost.

It’s only a moment, but it’s torturous. His copper hair gleams in the fire light and his golden skin tangles with mine. Then his mouth is where I crave him and he’s featherlight, kissing and testing and tasting.

I moan, trying to tilt my hips forward against his grasp and I realize he was waiting for permission, because now he’s frenzied. His tongue thrusts into me, warm and insistent, and I reach down to tangle my fingers in his hair. He devours me, drinking in each thrust until I feel the tension coiling low. My hips move faster, my grip on his hair tighter.

Cassius growls something into me but I can’t hear it over my own whimpers, and then he’s sucking that sensitive bundle of nerves into his mouth. I unravel, feeling the tension break as wave after wave of pleasure rolls through me.

Still Cassius doesn’t stop, his mouth gentler but not slowed. My legs are shaking as his tongue moves through me, and my knees become weak. I tighten my thighs until I’m squeezing his head in place but he makes a low sound and presses in, hungry.

“Cassius,” I gasp, “I’m going to collapse.”

He pauses, reluctantly, and kisses my inner thigh. I twitch, my skin too sensitive, and push him away. He laughs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away.” Then he swoops his arms beneath my shoulders and knees, lifting me like he did that day in the hallway, when I was covered in blood.

Even with that thought, or perhaps because of it, I melt into him. Satisfied. Safe.

He lowers me to the bed, and I have the urge to stretch like a cat in the suns, savoring this moment of languid pleasure. Cassius has other plans, though, and his mouth starts at my neck and travels down my body until I’m panting again with desire.

“Must you tease me?” I say.

“I’m not teasing, Domina,” he says. I don’t need to see his smile to hear it, and then he reaches the apex of my thighs. “I’m worshiping.” Once again the warmth of his mouth, the scrape of his beard on my thighs, and the alternation between sucking and licking has me bucking my hips and holding his hair. I feel the pressure building again and I just want Cassius.

“More,” I pant.

Cassius shifts and suddenly I feel his fingers easily slide through my wet center, and he sucks harder on the sensitive flesh. I cry out in pleasure and surprise and Cassius moans, too. His fingers thrust and curl while I grip his copper strands, not caring if he can breath or move. I’m too consumed by my pleasure and I think I’m saying his name or praying to the gods but soon I fracture all over again, shattering under his touch.

He gentles further this time, wringing each drop of pleasure from me until his touch sends shivers through me. I sigh and Cassius moves up, wrapping me in his arms. I reach for him, but it only takes a moment to realize he found his pleasure as well, without me even touching him.

He laughs, without an ounce of embarrassment. “I told you. I would desire you in any form. I don’t need to take anything from you except the sounds of your own pleasure.” He kisses the side of my forehead, his breath warm across my brow and his own forehead hot. “But I will try to contain myself so I can pleasure you any way you wish, next time.”

Next time. I freeze, not daring to speak. Not wanting to ruin this moment with my sharp words. Not wanting to ruin Cassius with my jagged edges.

His chest moves slowly, relaxed, and I finally take my own deep breath, feeling sleep begin to tug at me and realize I can smell Cassius for the first time. He smells like forest trails and sunshine, like his room. That combined with his warmth and the satisfaction coursing through my body draws my own breath out slow, calm.

Just before sleep claims me a whisper of sound reaches me. “Goodnight, cor meum .”

Goodnight , my heart.