36. Flames

Flames

Rose

The forum is still recovering from the festival, half the stalls closed and the other half wishing they were. The smell of wine and goats and sweat still hangs heavy in the air, and I hope a breeze builds off the Maero today.

“This is pointless,” Daisy whines. She only does it to annoy me.

“Well, I still think Ceres' little brother would do it,” I say to annoy her back.

“Rose,” she groans.

“Well, at least you know he’s kind.” I’m being serious now. He is kind. A bit young, and likely to join the legions in a few years, but that could work in her favor anyways. “Ceres' familia is a good one, and you know they don’t need the dowry.” They weren’t like Tristan’s familia, could never pay coemptio , but they wouldn’t starve with another mouth to feed, either. That’s more than half the city could say.

“He’s like my brother.” She rolls her eyes. “And just because they don’t need it doesn’t mean they don’t want it.”

Wasn’t that the truth of everything. “You’d get to live with Ceres,” I add. Daisy looks away, her cheeks pinking.

“Not for long,” Daisy says. “She’ll marry soon, too.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. I mean it. Not for one thing, but for all of them. For Ceres, for Pater, for the way I’m leaving her. My guilt nearly swallows me for a moment, but there’s no time for sentimental breakdowns. “There’s still a chance I can convince Tristan to help with money, or perhaps if Tristan gives me some jewels I could give you one to sell. That might be enough.” His mater was draped in them, after all.

Daisy looks down at the ground, her slippered foot tracing a cobblestone. “Let’s just wait awhile. As a last resort, after your wedding… if there’s still nothing. Then we can ask.” I know she doesn’t want to look at me, can feel the fear and embarrassment rolling off of her.

“I’m sorry, Daize.”

“I just… wish it wasn’t like this.”

“Like what?”

“I want to choose. I want to decide if I will join the legions, or obtain an apprenticeship, or work the fields…”

I’m already shaking my head. “Daisy…”

“I know, we can’t. Because we’re not men. That’s my point, Rose. Why do they get to choose?”

“I think that maybe they are beholden to their circumstances in a similar way, soror. Augustus wants to be a farmer, but his pater is making him join the legions. Tristan wants to join the legions and instead he’s destined for the forum.”

“At least they have more than one option,” she sighs, sitting on the bottom step of the forum. “What if I don’t want to marry?”

I stare down at my sister, wondering how long she’s thought about this. “You know that’s not an option.”

“What are our options? A virgin until we marry, or a whore if we don’t,” she says, the words sharp and bitter.

“Daisy Octavius!” I should scold her for her language, for her views, for something. But I can’t see past the truth of her words, so I settle for the weight of her name. It lands on her like a yoke, her shoulders slumping.

“I’m sorry, Rose,” she says. “I’m just really going to miss you.”

A clearing throat has us both turning.

My mouth falls open in surprise. “Augustus.”

He smiles. “Good day, good ladies.” The man in front of the Sabines flashes before my eyes. What if Augustus had saved me? What if he knew what I said?

“What brings you to the forum?” I ask, shaking those thoughts away.

“Ah, I just left the Sabines.” He meets my eyes brazenly.

“So that is to your… tastes then?” I don’t know why I ask, except I have a habit of saying stupid, unladylike, inappropriate things in front of him. Daisy and I are both feeling defiant today, it seems.

His mouth falls open in silent horror. “What? No,” he splutters. “No,” he says again, more firmly. “I was serving them a notice of inspection.”

“A notice of inspection?”

“To check for citizens of Divus. They’re not allowed to hold citizens against their will. And when Tristan told me what happened…”

“What about the others?” Daisy jumps in, catching on to the conversation.

“The others?”

Daisy stands taller, almost looking down her nose at him, if that’s possible from a girl half his height. “The non-citizens. Do you think they chose to be there? It’s against their will, too.” She’s right. If they’re from a conquered nation, they’re not any more deserving of such a fate.

Augustus, Venus bless him, looks aghast. Like he never considered this. “Oh,” he says.

Daisy tilts her head as a sort of triumphant look spreads across her face. “So, maybe your pater can work on that next?”

He just nods, a glazed look in his cerulean eyes. “I’ll speak to him.”

“Good,” Daisy says. “Now, I’m going to talk to Ceres.” She points a finger at me menacingly. “And you’re going to stop trying to sell me like a goat for at least a few minutes.”

She’s gone in a flash and Augustus looks to me. “She’s… spirited.”

I sigh. “She is becoming more and more. She certainly doesn’t get it from me.”

He smiles. “I don’t know about that. Besides, what’s this talk of you selling her like a goat?”

A small laugh escapes me, and Augustus' eyes drop to my mouth, my lips. Heat rises in my chest and I look away before answering, the laugh dying in my throat. “I’m not trying to sell her, I just worry about her now that I’m marrying. I don’t want her alone in our domus. I’m trying to find her a suitable husband.”

“Your pater?” He asks, somehow knowing.

“Did Tristan tell you?” I don't know why I'm surprised. They're brothers, after all.

Augustus shakes his head, holding out his arm for me to take. My brow furrows. If not Tristan, then who?

I let my hand rest on him, the heat of his skin seeping into me. We start to walk around the forum, the way many couples do, enjoying the weather together. “No. A pater who threatens to sell his daughter to the Sabines isn’t too hard to figure out,” he says.

My throat clogs up, so I don’t say anything, and after a few rounds around the forum, Augustus speaks again. “I’ll see if I can find her any matches. I have friends who won’t need a dowry. I’m sure I can find one for her, if you’d like. Someone not like your pater.”

I stop in my tracks. “You’d do that?”

“Of course.” He puts a hand over mine on his arm. “Anything you need, Rose. You say the word, and I’ll make it happen.”

The heat from our joined hands, from the way his words sink into me, from the look in his eyes all threaten to set me aflame. My mouth opens, then closes. I can’t find the right words to express my gratitude, or my fear.

Because I can’t feel this, not for him.