Chapter 21

TWENTY-ONE

For three days,I stayed by Felix's side, icing his face, making sure he ate and drank water, and keeping his pain under control with medicine. He'd made no move to shift into his otter form yet, and I was beginning to worry.

If he couldn't shift today, Dr. Madison was getting a call.

Loaded down with a breakfast tray, I pushed into our room. Felix was already sitting up in bed. Sweat beaded at his brow, and his face was pinched in pain, but it was the first time he'd sat up without help since we'd brought him home.

"You're up. That's great, but I would've helped you." I set the tray on the bedside table and pressed a kiss to my mate's forehead. The swelling around his face hadn't decreased much, and the whole side of his face was a mess of mottled, deep purple bruises. Matching bruises covered his chest. The cuts on his wrists from where the zip ties had cut in had scabbed over, but the skin around the wounds was the same painful purple. But all that aside, the fact that Felix felt well enough to sit up on his own was a good sign.

He drew in a shaky breath. "I feel better today."

"That's excellent." I picked up a glass of orange juice from the tray and held it out to him. His hand still shook a little when he took it, but his grip seemed stronger than it had the past couple of days.

"And what about your otter? Do you think you can shift?"

Felix shrugged, then winced when the small motion pulled at all his healing parts. "I don't know, but I'd like to try. I can feel my otter form again like that part of my brain is finally unlocked." Felix held the glass of juice to his lips and drained it in several long gulps.

My heart soared in my chest. The sooner Felix could access his animal form, the sooner he would heal.

Then, we had important things that needed to be taken care of.

"That's wonderful."

"Can I ask you something?"

I took his now empty glass and returned it to the tray. "Of course. Anything. Anytime."

Felix looked down at his hands. "Will you shift with me? And can we do that thing we did before?"

"Which thing?" I gave him a sly smile and waggled my eyebrows, which made him smile.

"Not that. At least not until after I've spent some time in my otter form." He reached out and took my hand, and I wrapped it up in my bigger palm. "Can we do that thing where you hold me on your tail?"

There was nothing I wanted more. "It would be my pleasure. I will hold you like that anytime you want."

Felix's good eye glistened. "Really?"

"You're mine, Felix. Soon, I'm going to make sure you're marked as mine forever. I will give you whatever you need whenever you need it. I love you, Lucky. You're the other half of my heart. What makes you happy makes me happy."

"I love you too, Nero." He turned his head and puckered his lips, and I met them in a soft kiss.

Everything in my body and soul wanted to take more, but after the single chaste kiss, I settled the breakfast tray over Felix's lap and got comfortable in my chair by the bed while he ate.

When he was finished, I picked up the tray, and Felix flipped the blanket off his lap. He carefully turned his body so his feet hung over the edge of the bed. The process was slow, and Felix was still moving like he was in pain, but this was the first time he'd moved as much without assistance, and even though I wanted to scoop him up in my arms to make it easier for him, I let him do it himself. Watching him struggle felt like a thousand tiny cuts to my heart, but I also knew he needed his sense of autonomy back, so I clenched my fists and resisted the urge to help.

He held out a hand when he tried to stand, and I tucked the breakfast tray under one arm and offered him the other.

"I'm going to take a shower." He was upright next to the bed, but he seemed a little shaky.

"Do you want help?"

My mate shook his head and squared his shoulders as much as he could without putting pressure on his ribs. "I can do it, but if you want to keep me company after you take that downstairs, I won't say no."

I wanted to stay, to force my help on him if only because the thought of letting him out of my sight for even a second made me feel like I was going to vibrate out of my skin, but I nodded. Felix wanted to do this on his own, and I wanted him to have the opportunity to prove to himself that Agent Cooper and his goons hadn't broken him. Instead of helping him into the bathroom, I gave him one more quick kiss, and headed downstairs to drop off the breakfast dishes. When I returned to our room, Felix was standing in the bathroom, and the water in the shower was running.

"I might have overestimated my abilities a little bit."

"What do you need?"

"Can you help me take my shirt off? It hurts like a bitch to lift my arms."

I smiled. "Of course." I slid my hands under the fabric and stretched it as far as it would go. Felix bent his arms at the elbows and dropped them through the armholes, and then I lifted the shirt off over his head.

"Thanks." His smile was lopsided from the swelling in his cheek.

"Anytime." I tried to put as much emotion into the single word as I could. I would do whatever I could to help Felix whenever he needed it from now until the end of forever.

He shuffled to the shower and opened the glass door slowly, then stepped up over the curb and under the steaming spray. I felt his contented sigh all the way to my bones.

I closed the toilet lid and sat down, watching my mate through the foggy glass. This moment was so different than the last time I'd watched him this way. There was no teasing this time. Felix was focused on getting clean, and I was only there to make sure he didn't fall or pass out. Even if the vibe was different, I still loved seeing him through the glass. I wasn't sure what it said about me that I enjoyed watching my mate shower, but I wasn't sorry about it. I loved watching Felix do everything. I loved watching him sit hunched over a computer, his fingers flying over the keyboard. I loved watching him fidget in the front seat of my SUV while we staked out a skip. I loved the way he ate and slept and breathed. I was a man obsessed, and I couldn't find it in myself to apologize for that.

He made me feel vulnerable in a way I'd never been vulnerable before. My brothers and my grandmother could take care of themselves, and while I felt a certain amount of responsibility to take care of them as the oldest, it wasn't the same as what I felt for Felix. The need to protect him and love him was bone-deep—no, even deeper than that. The need was in every atom of my body.

Felix turned off the water, and I grabbed the fluffiest towel I had on the shelf in the bathroom, holding it out to him as he opened the door.

"God, I needed that. I feel better." He took the towel and ran it over his body. "I'm still sore as hell, but I feel human again."

"I'm so glad." Remembered fear from when Cal had called and told me my mate had been taken threatened to crawl its way up my throat, but I swallowed it back. Felix was here with me and safe. Everything was okay.

"Uh, I hate to ask, but can I borrow your robe? I want to shift, but I want to go outside to do it in case it works. If it does, I can't think of anything that would feel better than a swim. Seems counterproductive to get dressed just to get undressed again downstairs."

"Definitely." I went to grab my robe from the hook on the back of the bathroom door, but then I remembered something. "Hold on." I left Felix standing in the bathroom and went in search of the items my brothers had brought up the day before.

Finding what I wanted, I returned to Felix and handed him the oversized gift bag.

"What's this?" he asked, peeking inside through the tissue paper.

"A little get-well gift from my brothers."

"They didn't have to do that."

I raised an eyebrow. "Hell yes they did. Cal especially. He'd better spend the rest of his life making things up to you. I can't believe he let you get taken." Anger burned under my skin until Felix placed a calming hand on my arm.

"Hey, it's okay. And it was my fault too. I didn't want to wait for him. It was my choice to go into the building while he was on the phone. I could have waited."

"It doesn't matter. He never should have taken a call while he was supposed to be protecting you. I never should have left."

Felix set the large bag on the counter and rose up on his tiptoes, taking my face in his hands. "I'm not going to let you be mad at Cal for the rest of our lives because of this. It was a mistake. I'm an adult, and I made a choice too. McMahon needed you. Stop beating yourself up. Everything turned out fine."

"But what if it hadn't?" The stupid lump was back in my throat.

"My love, life will be full of realities and what-ifs. It's the realities that make life a beautiful roller coaster ride. If you live in the what-ifs, you'll miss everything else."

For someone a decade and a half younger than me, my mate was immensely wise. "I'm sorry. I've never been that terrified and angry in equal parts ever in my life. I thought I was going to lose you."

My mate's lips brushed against mine, and I could feel the healing cut on his lip. He was still hurt. There was no reason he should be the one comforting me.

"But you didn't." He moved his hands, grabbed my wrists, and placed my palms on his hips. "I'm right here."

It was the first time I'd touched anything more than his hands or his face as I held ice packs to it in almost four days, and the contact did more to soothe the ragged edges of my soul than any of his words.

My heart unknotted, and I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with Felix's seaweed-and-salt scent. For the first time in days, my head felt clear.

"That's better." Felix pressed another kiss to my lips. "Now, let me open my present."

I laughed, the sound rough, while Felix grabbed the bag and tore out the tissue paper. He pulled out a small blue box first. There was a neon sticky note on it. "Hacked your optometrist's office. Figured you'd need these," Felix read, then pulled the lid off the box. Inside was a brand-new pair of glasses. "Designer? Nice! I usually pick the cheap knockoffs." Felix tried to put the glasses on, but his face, including the bridge of his nose, was still too puffy. "I'll save these for later."

He set the box on the counter and reached back into the bag, coming out with a soft robe covered in comic book pages. "Oh my God. I love this! Help me put it on."

I took the robe from his hands and held it open. He slipped into it and tied the belt around his waist, then turned to look at himself in the mirror.

"This is awesome!"

"I bet Julius picked it out."

Felix shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe, but I bet it was Cal. I was telling him about my favorite comics when we went to get the drive. Oh shit! The drive. Where is it? Nero, we need to go back to my apartment. I dropped it when that goon picked me up."

"Shh, it's okay, babe. Relax. We have it. Cal went back into your apartment and found it. Julius has it downstairs."

Felix's shoulders relaxed. "Oh, good. I think the file on that drive is the key to whatever this is. I was just a means to an end for Agent Cooper."

"Who?" This was the first time I'd heard that name.

"Agent Lance Cooper is the guy who kidnapped me. I've got a lot to fill you in on."

"I agree. Kidnapping you wasn't the endgame."

Felix shook his head. "No. I don't know what the endgame is, but I know it has something to do with the file on that drive."

"We can check in with my brothers and Jack after you shift and we go for a swim."

Felix's brow creased. "Who's Jack?"

"We've got stuff to fill you in on too."

"Sounds like it, but you're right. Let's go for a swim, then we can debrief."

"Lead the way."