13. Autumn

CHAPTER 13

Autumn

" A ndy!" I shriek as soon as I see him.

He's a little bit late. At least, thanks to Theodore. I can't believe Teddy had all that up his sleeve… or his… arm? I've never been more in love with him.

Andy stares back at the four of us, his eyes full of fear.

Good.

"Didn't expect lil sis to know what you were up to?" I ask, taunting. "Though you could murder our entire family, murder my boyfriend, and… I guess I don't know why you sent me here. But you thought you could get away with all that and I wouldn't figure a thing out?"

He stays still, like a deer in headlights, but narrows his eyes. "Who told you?"

I fold my arms. As if I'm going to tell him.

But Teddy waves cheerfully from next to me. "Hi, Andy!"

Andy rolls his eyes. "This dumb brick house? Though, I guess with the decay, he's not much of one anyway."

"Excuse me, I think the technical term is adorable himbo," I scoff. "You always think everyone else is so beneath you."

He shrugs. "It's the truth."

"Is it?" I laugh, holding the book in front of me.

There's a spell with an illustration of fire. Good enough, I bet.

" Parte flammae meae ," I say in the worst latin possible.

But maybe it's intent that matters, because flames shoot up the side of his face. He screams in agony.

"I just don't get it. I loved you. Like really fucking loved you. We were ride or dies. But you killed our whole family?"

"They didn't understand my ambition," he cries through the flames. "Only you did. You followed me everywhere. Did anything I asked. The perfect little minion. At least, when you were younger. Until he came along."

He points to Theodore.

"Yeah, and then I met someone who made me feel good about myself. Who made me realize I could be a whole person outside of you. So of course, I fell in love. You're never going to meet anyone better than Theodore Mallory."

"Fucking barf," Andy spits out. "He's just your version of you. Just a little toady."

"I dunno, Andy, I think he's better than me. Imagine if I'd done all the research he did to discover you were an evil prick," I say. "Speaking of which…"

I slide my hand down the spell book until I see something mushy on the floor. Maybe that's what he used on Teddy.

" Fixa cortices ," I say.

Banana peels rain down on top of Andy, and he slides around, unable to get on his feet.

"I'll take it!" I laugh.

"Makes me wanna race across a rainbow bridge," Theodore says.

"Didn't you already try that once when you died?" Fenrir grunts.

"Not the Nordic one, the video game one, man," Teddy laughs. "I'm not going anywhere now. Not til Autumn decides she's done with me."

"Why is it fine for you to have a little yes-man minion and not me?" Andy grumbles.

"Uh, for one, we love each other, and for two, I'm not an evil sack of shit. What was up with that necklace you gave me?" I demand.

He lets out a sigh, "I'll tell you if you turn off the curses."

"How do I do that?" I ask. "Actually, I can't trust a thing you say. Give me a second, you can wait."

" Terminus ," he growls.

I check the back of the book and find the spell. He's not lying, this time. I repeat it as he said it.

The flames and the bananas stop.

"The real reason is you've gotten too big for your britches. Figured if I sent you into the lion's den with a lust spell, you'd run into some real monsters who would tear you to bits."

My real monsters lurch forward, eager to tear him to bits.

And to be honest, I don't have it in me to stop them. Teddy stands at my side, holds my hand as Fenrir and Vincent attack.

"You know he's immortal," Teddy says to me.

I nod. "I found the spell. It was circled a billion fucking times. He's real subtle. But you know the story of like… Prometheus? I was thinking something like that."

Teddy winces. "Doesn't it hurt your soul a little bit to dispense that kind of torture?"

I shrug. "He's the one who carved out that part of me. You're too good, Teddy. I'm glad we have you. Someone has to have a conscience."

"There's a spell to send him to a blank plane. You know how the genie got trapped in the bottle? Phenomenal cosmic power and all that? Well… in a blank plane it's more like phenomenal cosmic space… itty bitty powers."

"…Fine. We'll do it your way. Only because I don't want you worrying about my soul."

"I'm a zombie, and you're also dating a werewolf and a zombie. Someone's gotta retain one."

I let out a big sigh. "If you insist."

I find the spell. This one requires a lot of thought, a lot of power. I don't know how to tell Teddy I might not have it in me, but I do my best.

" Nihil ," I command.

And then Vincent lands on top of Fenrir, no longer having an enemy to combat.

"So we're here again," Vincent laughs.

"Fine! We fucked!" Fenrir growls. "And we're all in a fucking relationship now, so that's fine, right?"

They look to us, and the both of us laugh. "Like I said, I just want a front row seat."

Vincent crooks his finger towards us. "I was thinking more of an immersive experience."