7. Kali

After spending the last five days holed up in Zan's room, being back inside Impulse was nearly overwhelming. The red strobe lights shone on the vampires as they danced and partied. The music was thudding in my ears, drowning out the conversations happening around me. My annoyance grew with every second, and I bit my tongue, heat jolting through my veins. Here they were, drinking and having the time of their lives, while humans in Project Hope were just trying to survive. In my twenty-four years, I'd never seen smiles or laughs like I witnessed here every night.

Going back to Project Hope yesterday reminded me of the entire reason for the Clovers. They wanted humans to live. To be free from PARA. From the vampires. A wave of sadness rippled through me, and I sucked in a long breath. The Clovers had turned on me. They'd thrown me away like I was nothing.

But could I blame them?

If I saw a Clover acting how I had, I would be disgusted. In the eyes of everyone I knew, I'd betrayed them. And I had. I let Zan feed from me. Didn't tell anyone that his blood healed me. Instead of trying to alert the Clovers that he'd escaped the basement, I'd slept with him. I was as guilty as they portrayed me to be.

"I thought you wanted to work again. Or do you just want to stand there?"

Gia's voice jolted me out of my head, and I spun around to look at her across the bar counter. When I'd entered Impulse earlier and saw her alive, the relief that cut through me caught me by surprise. Apparently, when PARA invaded Impulse, they'd shot her, and she was unconscious behind the bar the entire time. Luckily for her, I'd come out to try to save Warner, distracting them from killing her.

"Feel free to just keep standing there." Gia swiped her red hair out of her face. "But that just sounds boring. You're here. Might as well stay busy."

My eyes flicked toward the back hall. Zan had been gone for over an hour. When we'd gotten back earlier in the day, they'd brought Tim to a back room of Impulse. Pax and Viggo had left immediately after that. No one told me where they went, but I had a good guess. Their father was in charge, and I was sure they needed to update him on whatever they were looking for while we were in Project Hope.

"Can you hear him?" I asked quietly, knowing Gia could still hear my words. "Zan."

Gia laughed. "No. The room he's in is soundproof. But you can go talk to him yourself."

"Like he'd tell me anything," I muttered, turning to look at her. "He's torturing Tim."

She arched an eyebrow. "You seem awfully sure about that. Can you hear better than me?"

I didn't bother to answer her sarcasm. She pushed a tray full of drinks toward me, and I stared at it for a moment before grabbing it and heading to the table she pointed at. The night would drag on even longer if I sat around and did nothing.

My gut knotted as I walked across the room. Was this my life now? Serving drinks to vampires while slathered in the lotion so they didn't smell that I was human? All while Zan and his family planned something against humans. I couldn't fucking do this every single night.

Without glancing at the vampires surrounding the table, I grabbed each drink from the tray and placed them in the middle of the table, thoughts about my bleak future swallowing me.

"Thanks, sweetheart."

I lifted my head to see a blond vampire eyeing me with a leering smirk on his lips. Immediately, warning bells screamed at me, a stark reminder that I was the prey in this city. I didn't give him a reaction, keeping my face a blank mask. Zan's necklace was on display over the tight shirt I was wearing. I doubted any vampire in here would touch me while wearing this.

"Call her that again, and I'll cut out your tongue." Zan's deadly voice came from right behind me, and a second later, his chest was pressed against my back. My heart thudded unevenly when he reached around and ran his finger down the chain of the necklace. "Or do you need an immediate lesson for the blatant disrespect you're showing me? Calling her that when it's obvious that she's marked as mine."

All the vampires around the table stiffened, most bowing their heads in respect. But the blond one who spoke didn't avert his stare. His eyes stayed on mine for a split second before darting behind me to Zan.

"I wasn't aware of any disrespect," the blond answered smoothly. "I was just thanking her for the drinks. I didn't see the necklace."

I was sure he was lying since I'd seen him in here more than once. He knew exactly who I was to Zan. But this vampire wasn't bowing down to Zan like all the others did. If anything, he was challenging him. The music was still loud, but no one at the table said a word as the blond vampire and Zan stared at each other. I didn't move a muscle, even when Zan's hand gripped my hip.

After a few more tense seconds, the blond finally lowered his gaze, his jaw clenched tight. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Zan didn't respond, tugging me away from the table and taking the empty tray from my hand. I slipped from his hold and strode toward the back hall. I couldn't hear over the music but knew he was following. Once I reached the back of the club, I turned around to see him halt a couple of feet away. My eyes trailed down his body, my curiosity piquing when I didn't see any blood. I'd thought for sure that after what Tim had done to him, the revenge would be bloody.

"Why are you running from me?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Not running," I shot back. "Just going somewhere where there aren't ears surrounding us."

It wasn't like the hallway was soundproof, but if I spoke quietly, then I doubted any of the vampires would be able to hear over the music and chaos.

"Good. Let's talk about why I shouldn't leave you alone. I was gone for only an hour, and that happened," Zan grumbled. "I should just kill him for even thinking he can talk to you."

"Why?" I bit out. "Because no one can speak to what you own? You talk about me like I'm an object."

He frowned before leaning down, putting his lips right next to my ear, and whispering, "Don't challenge me here, Kali. In their eyes, you are mine. They were all taught to respect me. To fear me. Vampires rebel against hierarchy, even subconsciously. It's a precarious line. But I will never tolerate disrespect from any of them. Especially when it comes to you."

I pressed my lips together, keeping my thoughts to myself. What difference did it make if I argued or not? I was still stuck here, but I had a feeling if I did argue with him in front of others, he might put me back in his room. I couldn't take another day by myself, drowning in my thoughts and memories.

"Is Tim still alive?" I asked stiffly, changing the subject. "Or did you get your revenge on him for taking you?"

He cocked his head, his eyes unreadable. "I made a deal with you that I wouldn't kill him."

"I'm sure the torture you're inflicting has him wishing for death," I muttered as I moved to go around him.

He caught my wrist, pulling me back to him. He raised his other hand, his fingers grasping my chin. When he tilted my face up, surprise hit me when I saw amusement dancing in his eyes.

"You think you know me so well," he murmured. "And from the sound of it, your opinion of me is low. You think I enjoy torturing humans?"

My pulse thudded. "You are a Kane."

"And you're a Clover," he tossed back, leaning close to keep his words quiet. "A human trained to kill my kind. Yet you tolerate one vampire enough to allow him between your legs. And from the way you moaned my name, you thoroughly enjoyed it."

"I allowed it once," I gritted out. "That isn't happening again."

With a wicked smirk, he released my chin, only to slide his hand to the back of my neck and grip my hair. He dropped his head, and when his lips brushed the side of my throat, my heart leaped before I could keep control of it. He kissed me again, making a tingle run down my spine. He bit my earlobe before speaking in a low voice.

"You're going to be here for a while, Kali. Why don't you give yourself a chance to be happy? Ask me to help, and I'll drop to my knees and spend all fucking night showing you how much I enjoy having you here."

My lower stomach clenched in a way that only seemed to happen when Zan was close. Especially when he spoke to me like that. And he was being playful. Something he rarely did. No matter how much I detested being trapped in this situation, there was no denying how I reacted to him. I hated it, but yet it only grew the more I was near him.

When I didn't respond, he sighed and pulled away. "Go. Talk to Tim."

My eyes snapped to his, widening in shock. "What?"

"You already formed your opinion of me. Go see how I treated the human who spent hours making me bleed."

I didn't move, unsure of what he was playing at. "You're not worried about what he tells me?"

He chuckled. "He has hawthorn in his system. From how nervous he is, I'm guessing it won't be long until it's gone. Once that happens, I'll be able to entrance him. Whatever he tells you, I'll find out about it anyway."

My gaze darted behind him to the door of the room where Tim was being held.

"What are you waiting for?" Zan pulled my attention back to him. "Go. Before I change my mind."

I scowled as he watched me curiously as I slipped past him and hurried down the hall. My steps faltered when I got closer to the deadbolted door, not knowing what I was about to walk in on. I swallowed thickly as I unlocked it, then I slowly pulled it open. After glancing down the empty hall, I slipped inside the room. My ears rang from the sudden silence, and I blinked from the bright lights, spotting Tim in the back of the room.

My eyes traveled over him, searching for the telltale signs of torture. Unlike Zan, he wouldn't heal quickly. But there wasn't a mark on him. No blood or bruises. My face scrunched in confusion. If Zan did hurt him, there was no physical sign of it. He even had freedom to move around. There was a cuff locked on his ankle, and the long chain was attached to the back wall. It wasn't enough for him to reach the door, but he could still move around most of the room.

"Kali." His voice was a mixture of surprise and anger. "You really did choose them."

My chest panged with sadness. "I didn't. Not that you gave me a chance to explain myself."

"Garrett told us you let that vampire feed on you," he said in disgust. "Warner and Matt told us what happened at the cabin. You helped them kill our people."

I hovered near the door. Should I tell him what really happened? Would he believe me? It really didn't matter, seeing as Zan was going to entrance him anyway. Anything I told him would be long forgotten in the next couple of days. Nerves swarmed me, and I crossed my arms tightly, watching the person I used to consider family look at me like I was the enemy.

"I didn't have a choice but to come back here," I said quietly. "They couldn't entrance me because of my tattoo. I know too many of their secrets. It was either this, or they kill me."

"Liar," he spat out. He crossed the room until the chain pulled taut a few feet away from me. "We gave you everything, and you turned your back on us."

"I didn't," I choked out. "I didn't have a fucking choice. I did everything I could."

"If that were true, then you wouldn't be standing in front of me. Free to roam a vampire city." His words cut deeper than the betrayal in his gaze. "You were trained to do anything to kill vampires. That Kane vamp lets you get close. If you're still with us, why haven't you killed him?"

"Because he's not the only Kane in this city," I snapped. "I kill one, then his brothers will come after me."

To my ears, my words sounded like the truth. Only my pattering heart gave way to my lie. But unlike the vampires here, Tim couldn't hear that. I'd had a few chances to try to kill Zan. I could try to make another stake out of the wood from Zan's dresser and use that. But I hadn't yet. I could tell myself it was because Pax and Viggo would come after me. But then I'd be lying to myself. Because no matter how much I thought about it, I could never get myself to go through with it.

"I don't know if I believe you," Tim muttered, his glare softening a fraction. "But I have nothing to lose. I'm not making it out of this alive."

"They aren't going to kill you," I told him. "They're…going to entrance you."

He scrubbed a hand down his face. "That's even worse. I know things. Clover things, that the vampires can't find out about."

"I can't get you out of here."

"Can't or won't?"

"Can't," I retorted. "I'm always being watched. Zan will barely let me out of his sight."

"And why is he keeping you alive?" he asked, curiosity sweeping over his face. "Why not kill you like they did with Garrett and the others?"

"They're waiting," I gritted out. "For my birthday. They have some sort of interest in Shadows. After they test me…I don't know what will happen."

He studied me in silence, the chain rattling as he backed up a couple of steps. "If you really still care about the Clovers, you'll find a way out. A way to take down the Kanes."

"I do still care," I said thickly. "I never wanted any of this to happen."

"There's a bag hidden right outside the city," he said in a low voice, his eyes darting to the door behind me. "Full of weapons. We put it there when we came to rescue you and Warner. There's a beach on the opposite side of the city."

"I know where that is," I said, my heart skipping a beat.

He nodded. "There's a pile of rocks near the cliff. Under one of those is the bag. Find it and use it against the Kanes. If you really want to help us, then I'm giving you a chance."

Before I could respond, there was a soft knock on the door. Tim's face morphed into hatred again, and he went rigid.

"I don't know what I can do," I said, keeping my voice steady. "But I still want the humans to win. Not the vampires."

"I hope that's true, Kali," he murmured. "Because the war might have ended years ago, but the fight never did. And there can only be one who wins."

Another knock had me moving toward the door. I muttered a goodbye to Tim, wondering if this would be the last time I talked to him before he was entranced. Unease twisted in my gut as I exited the room. I halted in my tracks, seeing Zan leaning against the wall to my left. Once I was past the doorway, he grabbed the knob, closing the door before sliding the deadbolt back in place.

"I'm guessing you won't tell me what you two talked about," he said, raising his eyes to meet mine.

"Like you weren't listening."

"The room is soundproof, Kali."

"Well, you'll know exactly what he said when you entrance him," I bit out. I wondered if I could get to the bag of weapons before that happened. It could be my way out of here. "You didn't hurt him."

"No, I didn't."

I searched his face, trying to get a read on him. "Why?"

A small frown appeared on his lips, as if he was still trying to figure that out himself. "Because I know doing that would have hurt you."

My mouth parted, the shock of his words making me react before I could rein it in. He let out a resigned sigh, his arm wrapping around my waist when I tried moving away from him.

"Other than my brothers, I never put anyone's feelings ahead of what needs to be done," he said gruffly. "For some reason, I care about what you feel. And how you feel about me. I don't want to see you in pain."

"Why? Because you want to sleep with me?" I snarked.

He scoffed. "Please. If that were the case, this damn insufferable feeling of guilt wouldn't be plaguing me. I don't want to see the loathing in your eyes when you look at me. Do you know what I do want?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. But he continued anyway.

"That look you gave me when we were in bed together," he murmured. "There was no hate in your eyes. Only desire. Need. And something else that I couldn't quite decipher, but it most definitely wasn't hatred."

"I don't know what you want me to say," I said irritably, trying my hardest not to remember our night together.

"I want you to try to be happy here."

I pushed his hand off me, backing away before he could grab me again. "Are you still planning something with your father? Against humans?"

He went rigid, not responding. But his silence was enough.

"Do you still have humans sitting in cages out there?" I waved my hand toward the front of the club. "Is your plan to overthrow PARA and take control of everything?"

"I can't tell you about Kane business," he said sharply. "Stay out of it, Kali."

"And that's why I will never be happy here," I said in a frantic whisper. "I wasn't trained to fear you or follow you. I don't want to destroy this world. I wanted to fucking save it. That's why I joined the Clovers. And no matter what I feel for you, or what happens to me, I'll never choose vampires over human life. We're on opposite sides, Zan. You will never change. Neither will I."

He didn't stop me when I turned away and stalked down the hall. My heart was pounding against my ribs, and I didn't look to see if he was following. I bit my tongue, my fleeting hope of him telling me what I wanted to hear betraying me. That he'd stop planning whatever he was doing with his father. But he didn't. I got to the bar and gave Gia a forced smile before glancing back down the hall.

Zan was nowhere in sight, and I swallowed my disappointment. I picked up the tray that Gia pushed toward me while thinking about the bag of weapons that Tim had told me about.