11. Zan

Holy fuck.

This was not good. It was taking all my control to stay calm as I walked next to my father. Just like humans, our heartbeats reacted to emotions, and there was no part of me that wanted him to know how much I did not want him anywhere near Kali.

We were nearly back to Impulse, and I could tell even from down the street that Gia had cleared everyone out. There were no lights shining out of the windows. Which meant Amaros had stopped here before coming to the beach to look for me.

"She's beautiful." Amaros glanced at me, a proud smile on his face. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever use the necklace."

"Of course I would," I replied, keeping my voice steady. "It's what you asked of me."

My stomach was violently churning with every word I spoke. I needed to get Kali far away from him as soon as I could. None of this would end well. To Amaros, humans were beneath him. To be used for whatever vampires wanted. A meal. Sex. Forced labor. Kali would be no different.

I pulled the door open, letting him go first before entering Impulse. I spotted Viggo at the bar, swallowing a drink that I was sure wasn't his first one of the night. While Amaros greeted Gia, he shot me a look of apology. Not that it was his fault. He would have given me a warning if he'd been able to. Which meant our father had traveled back with my brothers. The question was: why did he come all the way out here?

"I hear you have a Clover here," Amaros stated, releasing Gia from a hug.

My heart skipped, despite how much I was attempting to control it. Viggo pushed off the bar, his usual grin on his face.

"Yeah, in the back room," he said, nodding toward the hall. "We've been waiting for the hawthorn to leave his system."

I calmed down slightly at that. He didn't mean Kali. He was talking about Tim. Of course he was. Fuck me, I was on edge. Gia pushed a full shot glass of whiskey toward me, and I grabbed it, tipping back my head and swallowing it in one gulp. I was going to need at least five more to calm the nerves ripping through me.

But they only got worse when the doors opened, and Pax entered with Kali. Her eyes searched the room, her gaze stopping on my father for a moment before landing on me.

Her face revealed absolutely nothing. No fear. Or hate. Even though I knew how much she loathed Amaros, just like all humans did. Her eyes held no depth right now. It was like she just shut everything off. The last time I'd seen that look on her face was the first night I'd met her and she pretended to be a vampire. That time, she had cracked when Viggo appeared and her fear betrayed her.

I really hoped she could hold it together longer than that. If Amaros smelled fear on her, he'd feed on it.

"Take me back there. I want to talk to him," Amaros ordered, his eyes lingering on Kali in a way that made heat prickle my skin. I didn't even notice that my hands curled into fists until Viggo nudged me in the shoulder.

"Kali, go upstairs?—"

"No, I want her to join us." My father cut me off with a cruel grin. "She is yours, isn't she, Zan?"

"Yes," I answered with no hesitation.

He nodded. "Then we have no reason to worry. None of our secrets will get out."

Kali's face twitched, her eyes darting back to me, full of burning questions. I barely looked at her, not wanting her to push for answers. I already knew one thing.

By the end of the night, she was going to be right back to fucking hating me again.

Viggo led the way, and our dad followed while I moved toward Kali, who hadn't moved from the entrance. She was completely still as I approached, and from the way her jaw stayed clenched, I didn't need to remind her that anything she said would be overheard.

"Where are we going?" she asked, tensing when I put my hand on her lower back.

"To talk to the Clover."

Her steps faltered at my answer, and I pushed her gently to keep her moving. She glanced ahead to see if Amaros was looking, and when she saw his back to us, she turned her face to me. My pulse stuttered at the blatant terror deep in her eyes. It wasn't the emotion that shocked me—it was the fact that she was opening up to me about it, even in silence. She trusted me. Maybe only slightly. But still, it was something. And it was about to be shattered. I knew my father well enough that I could guess how the conversation would go tonight.

"Zan," she muttered under her breath. "I want to go upstairs."

"No," I said curtly. Amaros was listening to every word. Right now, I had to be nearly as cautious as Kali. Which was something I wasn't used to. Before I met her, there was never a reason to lie to my father about anything important. But with her, it was different.

We entered the room, and I could tell even by looking at the back of his head that Amaros was not happy. Kali froze in the doorway, and I pushed her inside the room far enough to close the door behind us.

"Let me guess," Amaros drawled, glancing at the twins. "Pax put him in here."

"No, I did," I spoke up firmly, not letting my brother take the fall for this.

Amaros turned around, surprise covering his features. Pax was the son who wore his emotions on his sleeve. The one who had empathy for humans. Seeing Tim unhurt with a chain only around his ankle would have been something Pax normally would have done. But I'd done it. For Kali. Though I was going to leave that part out.

Viggo chuckled. "Zan was just waiting until we got home to start the questioning."

A bullshit response, and I was sure Amaros knew, but he didn't comment on it. Tim was on his feet, his death glare shooting between the four of us. He barely acknowledged Kali, and I hoped it stayed that way. My father did not need to know she was a Clover. That would only make all of this worse.

"Has he admitted anything yet?" Amaros asked, slowly prowling closer to Tim.

"No," I said stiffly. "The hawthorn should be out of his system within the next day or so."

"You haven't tried to ask him yet?" Danger seeped into Amaros's voice. Before I knew what I was doing, I stepped to the right, angling myself in front of Kali just before he turned and focused right on her. "But we can do that later. First…I'd like to talk to Kali."

I went absolutely still. Something was wrong—with me. Confusion engulfed me as I tried to figure it out. My chest was tight. My breaths were coming out fast and ragged. I couldn't slow down my heartbeat, no matter how hard I tried. It was crippling. So paralyzing that I couldn't move if I tried.

"Zan, get out of the way," Amaros ordered, his eyes narrowing at me.

His command made realization slam into me. Fear. Pure, unfiltered fear. An emotion I'd never in my life fully experienced. I'd never needed to. In this world, there were few predators stronger than me. I could handle anyone or anything that came at me, and that was ingrained in me as a child. Even when I was human before I transitioned to a Shadow, I was feared. As a Kane, the world was mine.

The closest I'd come to this feeling was when I came back to Impulse and saw Kali dying when PARA raided the city. But that night, it was rage that filled me when I saw the men who'd hurt her. I'd also known my blood would save her. Tonight was so different.

Was this how humans felt? This terror that was choking the life out of me? Was this how Kali felt when she came into my city? My respect for her only grew at that thought. She'd faced my brothers and me, knowing we were the devils of the night.

Right now, dread was coiling through me, and it was so fucking suffocating. Because I wasn't confident that I could protect Kali.

I was a killer. Deadly. Strong. Few could take me on and live to talk about it.

But my father?

He was worse. He was hundreds of years old. Shadows were stronger than full-blooded vampires, but even my strength didn't compare to his. He had power I didn't possess. There were a couple other vampire bloodlines that were old too, but they were spread across the world, and our paths didn't cross often. And when they did, I was always wary because it was the only time I wasn't the largest monster in the room.

And tonight, I wasn't. Amaros could rip through me to get to her before I even knew what was happening.

"Zan," Amaros snapped, his patience waning. "Move."

My teeth were clenched so hard that pain radiated to my jaw. Every part of me wanted to drag Kali out of here and take her somewhere far away. Pax and Viggo stood behind our father, watching me intently, both wearing identical faces of worry. When Viggo expressed worry, then it was bad. I doubted his panic was for Kali. No, it was for me. Going against Amaros was a grave mistake that all three of us knew never to make.

We'd grown up on a thin line of wanting his approval and staying out of his way. He'd never threatened what could happen if we disobeyed him, because we were smart enough to never do it. The one and only time we had was the night we snuck that baby girl off his property. And it was a miracle he'd never found out it had been us because he went on a rampage about it for weeks. After that, we learned quickly that following his rules was the easiest way to keep life peaceful.

I swallowed thickly, raising my eyes to meet my father's angered glare. Stopping him from talking to Kali would be worse than letting it happen. She was wearing my necklace, and he knew what that meant. He wouldn't hurt her. At least that's what I told myself when I forced myself to step to the side.

Once Kali was in his view, Amaros gave me one last look of annoyance before turning his attention to her. His lips curled into a smile, but there was no warmth in it.

"Come here, Kali."