9. Kali

Every day I was here, I learned something new about this place. There were two tunnels underneath Impulse. The one we were walking through right now was narrow and long, the walls made of what felt like packed dirt. Like all the other tunnels, it was pitch black, but the ground was smooth, making it easy to follow Zan through the dark while keeping my hand on the wall.

"How long did it take to make these tunnels?" I asked as we walked.

"I told you that most were already here," he answered from right in front of me. "Vampires make them wherever they go, since it's the only way to get around in the daylight."

"Sounds like a lot of work," I muttered.

He paused. "I doubt they did it all on their own."

"What does that mean?"

"Humans." He sighed. "They entrance them to do their work. Probably how these tunnels were made."

My stomach turned. His words were a reminder of why the Clovers fight. Vampires would always try to control. To use humans in whatever way they wanted.

"We're here," he said.

A second later, there was a click, and light flooded into the tunnel. Zan stepped out first, and I followed, relishing the warm sun. I glanced around, trying to get my bearings as Zan closed the door of the tunnel behind me.

My ears pricked up at a new noise, and I whipped around, suddenly recognizing my surroundings. The stairs leading toward the beach were to my left, and I swallowed thickly as I turned to look at Zan.

"We're at the beach," I said slowly.

"We are."

Hearing the waves, I moved toward the stairs until the ocean came into view. The beauty of it stole my breath. Seeing it at night was nothing compared to witnessing it in the sunlight. The water sparkled from the light hitting it. Waves crashed onto the beach, the water washing over the sand before drawing back into the ocean.

It was massive, going on for as far as I could see, and I stared at it in awe, not realizing that Zan had come up beside me until his shoulder brushed mine. Even his touch couldn't tear my eyes away from the sight in front of me.

For most of my life, my world had been as large as Project Hope. Then I was able to experience the forest outside of it. But seeing this? It only proved how much I hadn't witnessed. The world was full of mysteries that I wanted so badly to explore.

"It's much better in daylight, isn't it?" he murmured.

"It's beautiful," I breathed out. "Why'd you bring me back here, Zan? The last time we were here…you found out I was human."

"I remember," he mused. "You stabbed me in the lung."

"Why are we here?"

"You wanted to see it during the day."

I finally turned my head to look at him, but he was staring out at the ocean. It was taking everything to control my heartbeat as I tried to figure out his statement. Did he really bring me here because he remembered my words from the last time we were here? Or was he trying to get me to let my guard down?

"You might be trying to hide your emotions," Zan said, meeting my gaze. "But I can see it on your face."

"See what?"

"The distrust. Relax, Kali. I don't have a hidden agenda today." He adjusted the backpack he had grabbed before we left Impulse and headed down the steps. "After everything that's happened, we need a day to get away from it all."

"You come here to relax?" I asked, even though I already guessed the answer.

"This is where I go to enjoy the sunlight without having to worry about other vampires."

I followed him down the stairs, excitement growing despite myself. It was impossible to worry when I was surrounded by smells and sights that were overwhelming everything else. The salty air was just as addicting as it was the first night Zan brought me here, and I filled my lungs, relishing the taste of freedom. It was a stark contrast to the stale air in Project Hope.

My gaze veered to the cliffs, my attention dropping to the large rocks piled near them. If Tim was telling the truth about the bag of weapons, then that's where they'd be. Before Zan could realize what I was focusing on, I returned my eyes to the ocean.

I hopped off the last step, going rigid when Zan moved in front of me. He raised an eyebrow before his gaze trailed down my body. Then he crouched down and began untying his shoelaces before kicking off his shoes and socks.

"Your turn," he said with a grin.

I pursed my lips. "No."

"Take off your boots."

I glared at his smug face, both of us knowing full well why he wanted me to take them off. I thought keeping the stake on me was a good idea, but now I was about to lose it.

"I don't care if you keep it on you while in Impulse," he said, crossing his arms. "Or even when you're in my room."

I scoffed. "You're more worried about me attacking you here than when you're sleeping in your bed?"

"You're smart, Kali." He bent down again, catching my ankle. Instinct bubbled up, and I resisted the urge to kick him with my free foot. "Which is why I know you won't stab me in my sleep. Because our place is locked down, and then you'd have to deal with my brothers. And you're not going to fight me on this now, because you want to stay at the beach for as long as possible. You hide your emotions pretty well, but they were blatant when you saw the beach. You love it out here."

I clenched my jaw, not moving a muscle as he untied one boot, and then the other. His grip on my ankle stayed firm, making it impossible to step out of my shoes.

"When I come out here, I let my guard down," he murmured, tugging off one of my boots. "You already attacked me here once. I'm not taking any chances."

When he slipped off my other boot, the stake fell out, landing in the sand. Zan didn't reach for it, taking off my socks instead. He stood back up and motioned for me to go ahead of him. I faltered while taking the first step, feeling the warm sand squishing between my toes.

I'd walked barefoot along the banks of the river where the dirt was hard and the rocks were sharp. This was so completely different. Everything about the beach calmed my mind. The view. The smell. Feeling the soft sand beneath my feet. My problems seemed so far away.

I jolted when his hand landed on my lower back. He led me forward until we were near the wet sand from the waves washing onto the beach. He dropped down, grabbed my arm and pulled me until I was sitting next to him. He raised his knees, resting his arms on them while looking out at the water.

"I lied to you before," he stated. "Once."

My eyes cut to him as my stomach rolled uneasily. "About what?"

"You know I can walk in the sun. And about my black blood." He tilted his head, his gaze serious. "But if I tell you the secret of why, then there's no going back for you. You'll be tied to me—forever. Because rumors of vampires walking in the sun can circulate, and without evidence, then it's not an issue. But you knowing the reason why? That can't get out."

A chill ran down my spine. "Then why are you telling me?"

"For one reason. A selfish one."

"You already told me I'm stuck here because of what I know," I muttered. "I'm not sure what makes this so different."

"It's different," he countered sharply. "Most vampires don't even know this."

That piqued my attention, and I was torn between excitement and wariness. Whatever he was planning on sharing with me would only drag me in deeper.

"And the reason you're telling me?" I asked stiffly.

"I've made it pretty fucking clear that I want you to stay here. If I tell you this, then you're here for good. No running—and if you do, I'll find you. Because PARA and the Clovers can't find out about this." He turned to completely face me. "It means that you won't be leaving, Kali."

He could have gone on, but instead, he went silent, his eyes boring into mine. My heart stuttered, and I returned his stare, weighing my options. He was giving me an out. For as much as he threatened to keep me here, this was his way of giving me a sliver of hope to someday leave. Of getting away from vampires. From him. If he admitted whatever he wanted to tell me, then that wouldn't be an option anymore. I would never leave.

But what if I could?

A spark traveled through my veins, and my heart jumped. Even though I was sure Zan didn't miss it, I didn't try to control it. He knew what he was telling me, and a reaction like this was completely normal.

But I wasn't making the choice he thought. I'd already decided. I would find out everything I could for now. Then, if the opportunity presented itself, I'd try to leave. What I'd told Zan the other night was the truth. I wanted to save the humans. Learning this information could change everything. No matter what happened, my mind would not change. I would do anything to help humans fight against vampires, and for civilians to rise up against PARA.

"Tell me," I said firmly.

A flash of surprise hit his eyes, and he shook his head, letting out a dark chuckle. "Why do I feel like your answer isn't because you want to stay here with me?"

"I have nowhere to go," I retorted. "It doesn't matter."

"I'm dead serious, Kali," he murmured. "Once you know this, you're by my side for good."

"By your side?" I sneered. "In this world, I'm not your equal."

He scrubbed a hand over his jaw, the familiar look of annoyance crossing his face for a split second before he grinned and scooted closer. Before I could protest, he grabbed my leg and spun me until we were facing each other. His hand stayed on my thigh, and I tried to ignore the heat that always seemed to coil in my stomach when he touched me. His eyes were guarded as he cast his gaze downward to my legs.

"I'm half vampire," he breathed out so quietly I almost didn't hear him over the waves. Using his free hand, he dug his nail into his forearm that was resting on my thigh. His black blood appeared when he opened his skin. "This is the reason I can walk in the sun. It's also how I healed you."

My eyes were glued to his already healing cut. "You're a Shadow?"

"Yes. A little different from most Shadows, but a half vampire all the same."

"Different how?"

"The story of my parents that the world knows is a lie. About how I had human parents and Amaros just took me and turned me." He wiped the speck of blood away that was on his arm. "Amaros Kane is my father. I had a human mother."

My heart clenched, hearing the bitterness. "What happened to her?"

"She was killed months after I was born."

This time, there was no emotion in his voice. His face was hard, his jaw tight. He didn't like talking about this at all. My mind raced with everything he was telling me, and Lisa's face popped into my thoughts.

"Is there a sickness?" I choked out. "All the Shadows that PARA took away…"

I trailed off, rethinking everything I knew about Shadows. I knew PARA lied, but this? It was too much.

"There's no sickness," he told me quietly, his stare going back to the ocean. "Your government has been murdering Shadows for years."

Shock coiled through me, slowly giving way to grief and anger. My heart raced at the memories of all the blood checks that happened every fucking month. So many people who were half vampire were taken away, and all the while, we thought they were getting sent away to get help.

"The Shadows are a threat to PARA," he continued gruffly. "We're stronger than regular vampires. Faster. Deadlier. We can walk in the sun. Our blood heals."

"You said you were different from other Shadows," I said slowly. "How?"

"My bloodline is old," he muttered. "Kane vampires hold power other vampires don't."

A chill ran down my spine. "Like what?"

His eyes drifted to mine, his lips lifting in a half smile. "Doesn't matter. Since I'm only half vampire, I don't possess nearly what my father does."

"But what can he do?—"

"I'm not telling you." He cut me off, giving me a pointed look. "No Kane secrets. I already told you that."

I stayed silent for a few moments before asking my next question. "If the Shadows are so powerful, why didn't vampires win the war?"

He let out a humorless chuckle. "That's complicated. Only certain male vampires can mate. And Shadows…they don't act like regular vampires."

"What does that mean?"

He glanced at me, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "That's a conversation for another time. I'm not telling you everything today, or you might just try to run off on me."

"Run where?" I asked bitterly.

"Please, Kali," he murmured. "I'm revealing all of this to you, knowing that you would still use it to stab me in the back."

"I'd aim for your heart, not your back."

A gruff laugh escaped him from my taunting. "I know you would. Which is why I'm not admitting everything."

We lapsed into silence, and I watched the waves crash onto the beach. My stomach was in knots, and I leaned back, resting my palms in the warm sand. There was so much that humans didn't know. What did the Clovers know?

"PARA knows that Shadow blood can heal?" I asked.

"Yes. Which is why they kill most Shadows, but they keep at least one in each human city. To help heal PARA members. Your government doesn't want civilians to know. Just another way to control."

By keep a Shadow, he meant imprisoned. I wondered where the Shadow was in Project Hope. Maybe in that building that was mentioned in the Clover notebook. 1403. Was that what Zan and his family were doing? Trying to get the Shadows back?

"That's all I'm telling you right now," he stated, his voice firm. "You asked how I walk in the sun and about my black blood. Now you know."

There was still so much I wanted to find out about Shadows and Kane blood, but one look at Zan's face proved he was done spilling his secrets. I didn't move, hoping we could stay out here longer even if the conversation was done.

He climbed to his feet, brushing the sand off his jeans. "Happy now that you know?"

"Happy?" I scoffed. "Being happy isn't possible when I'm trapped here."

A muscle in his jaw flexed. "You're saying that you haven't had one good moment since you came to Deadwood?"

I frowned. "Deadwood?"

"My father named this city when we came here. We don't use it much, but it's how other vampires keep track of locations. Just like humans, we name our cities."

Interesting.How many other cities did the vampires have? I glanced at Zan, realizing he was still expecting my answer.

My eyes darted back to the waves. "I've been happy twice. Both times when you brought me out here."

"Just twice?" He reached down and grabbed my arm, tugging me to my feet. "I think there was at least one other time."

He wrapped his arm around me, tightening his hold until my chest was crushed to his. I lifted my chin, narrowing my eyes at him.

"The night we spent in your bed wasn't a good memory?" he questioned, his voice low. "Because I distinctly remember you coming not once, but twice. And all the while, you were moaning my name. Are you going to lie and say you didn't enjoy that night?"

A tingle ran down my spine, that night flashing through my head. There was no forgetting what we did that night. As much as I wanted to act like it meant nothing, I couldn't.

"I gave you honesty today," he murmured. "Have the decency to do the same."

I arched an eyebrow, shooting him a mocking smile. "I mean, I guess that night was okay. Could have been better."

Challenge brightened his eyes, and he chuckled. "Oh, Kali. You might be an exceptional liar, but right now? I can see right through you. However, if you want to act like this, I'll gladly get on my knees and taste you again." He lowered his head, putting his lips an inch from mine. "And now I don't have to hold back. You had to be quiet that night. There is no one around us. I could have you screaming this time."

I had no doubt he could do just that. Heat coiled through my lower stomach, but I managed to keep my face blank until he dropped his head lower and brushed his lips against the side of my throat. My breath caught in my chest, and I didn't move a muscle when he kissed me again. His lips stayed on my skin even when he spoke again.

"The only time you can't control your heartbeat is when my hands are on you." He chuckled. "I affect you much more than you'll ever admit, and if I'm being completely honest, that gives me more satisfaction than anything else."

"Too bad I told you that what we did that night would never happen again." My voice lacked conviction, and I internally cursed myself. This was why I'd been keeping my distance from Zan since he brought me back to his city. As much as I fought against it, he could easily get under my skin.

"I want you to be happy while you're here." He pulled back, meeting my gaze. "It's a horrible existence to be miserable all the time. Hate me all you want. But while you're doing that, let me give you the pleasure you're obviously so desperately craving."

On the outside, my expression didn't change, but on the inside, my emotions were warring with each other. I knew who Zan was. A vampire who would never choose human life over his family. Yet here I was, struggling to come up with a list of reasons why I shouldn't let him touch me. Because when I was near him, the outside world didn't seem to matter, and it drove me crazy.

I didn't want to enjoy a second with him. I wanted to look at him and feel the loathing I did when I was around any other vampire. But for some reason, I couldn't. What I should be doing was planning to get that bag of weapons that Tim had told me about. Instead, I stayed in Zan's hold, not making a move to get away from him.

"Come on, Kali," he coaxed, a smug grin on his lips. "All you have to do is admit what you want, and I'll oblige. We can spend the rest of the evening out here. I'd love to see exactly how loud I can make you scream."

His arrogance had my heart strumming with defiance, and I smirked, finally pushing away from him. I kept my eyes locked on his as I grabbed the hem of my shirt and then tugged it over my head. His sharp intake of breath only spurred me on more, and before I could talk myself out of it, I unhooked my bra, letting it fall to the sand.

"Fuck," he groaned out.

When he stepped toward me, I put my hand up, shaking my head. "I haven't admitted anything, Zan. I'm just going for a swim."

He went unnaturally still, his gaze dropping to my bare chest before trailing back up to my face. "Kali. Do not try to taunt me."

"Or what?"

"Keep doing it, and you'll find out."

I slipped off my leggings next, a thrill shooting through me. I'd never been so exposed before. The wind hit my bare skin, and I shivered slightly, glancing around to make sure we were still alone. Zan's eyes didn't leave me, making me confident there was no one around. If there was, he'd hear them.

"Are you trying to test my self-control?" he asked, his voice hoarse. "Because it's taking every fucking ounce of strength not to touch you right now."

I bit my lip as I began to back up toward the water. "How bad do you want me, Zan?"

"Words can't describe it right now."

My heart thundered, but it was too late to back out now. So I turned around, sprinting to the waves, knowing he'd be able to hear my quiet words.

"Then come catch me."