Chapter 21

"You"re mine! I"ll never let you go."

The trees are so dense. I run fast and hard, searching through the darkness for Bishop or April. For anyone to come and help me. They"re all gone. I"m alone. My lungs scream as I suck in deep breaths, pushing myself to go faster and faster, but no matter how fast I go, it feels as if Shade is always just one step behind me. I can feel his breath on the back of my neck.

"Come here, bitch!" Shade growls, his voice monster-like. I scream when I feel the wind gust against me, almost as if he"s swiping at me. He"s going to catch me. He"s going to take me back. They"re going to hurt me again, and this time no one is going to be around to stop them. A figure appears in the distance. I"m saved. "Please help me. Please." I race toward the person standing with his back toward me. Slamming into them hard, I stumble backward and land on my ass. The man turns, and I see it"s Liam.

"Ah, the guest of honor. Are you ready for your show tonight?"

"What? No. Please, no!" I cry. The trees fade from my vision and a bright light shines from above. Red pulsing lights are all around me, and standing on a raised platform around me are dozens of men staring at me with gleaming red eyes. I"m back in the room. How did I get back here? I thought I was free. I was out of this hell hole and now I"m right back.

I shake my head trying to get the vision to go away but when I open my eyes again it"s still there.

"Kill her." The chant starts off softly, but the volume swells with every second that passes until I have to cover my ears, it"s so loud. Liam leans forward and picks me up, turning me around to see the door behind me. It opens and someone is pushed into the room with me before the door closes shut behind him. Bishop is chained and beaten, and there"s a gaping wound in his chest. I watch as he reaches his hand inside of it and pulls his heart out into his hands.

"For you, Gabrielle."

Slowly, I watch as the color drains from his dark, caring eyes and his body hardens. His gaze turns red and he growls in my direction like an animal. They"ve turned him against me too. Bishop is gone.

In a flash, he lunges in my direction, and my scream can barely be heard over the roar of the crowd above. Still, I scream. Louder and louder.

"Hey! Gabi, beautiful, wake up. It"s okay. You"re okay." A soft voice pushes through the fog of unconsciousness, and I blink my eyes open, my sight adjusting to the stream of light splashing through the window.

I turn my head to see Bishop placing soft kisses on my cheek and shoulder.

"Wake up, Gabrielle. You"re okay. I"m here." Bishop coos again, and I suck in a breath while my heart slows in my chest. A deep cry pushes out of my mouth when I exhale, and I wrap my arms around Bishop and cry into his shoulder.

"Oh God, when will it be over? When will it end?" I ask him, knowing he can"t tell me the answer.

"I don"t know, babe, but I"ll be here with you until it does."

I look back up into his eyes, and I see what I didn"t see in my dream: the affection and devotion. I don"t know when it happened, but he"s looking at me the same way I feel about him. I know I"m just setting myself up for more pain later, but right now I need him to hold me. I need him to care for me. I need him to make me feel safe.

I wipe my face, dashing the tears away so he can see that I"m not still in the throes of my dream, before I cup my hand under his chin and force him to look at me. Leaning forward, I kiss him softly, and he returns the gesture. His hand tightens on my waist, but he doesn"t push. He"s letting me take the lead.

The butterflies start up in my belly again, but this time I"m not going to let them control me.

"Bishop, you don"t know how much you mean to me." I whisper against his lips.

"I do. You mean just as much to me. You"re all that matters anymore, Gabrielle." He whispers back before we lock our lips together once again.

Pushing him to the side, he rolls over onto the bed, and I crawl on top of his lap, rocking gently against him. Though my body is still coming down from the terrible dream I"d just had, my heart knows what it wants.

His hands skate up and down my back almost as if he"s afraid to push it too far. The last time we were in this situation, I"d asked him to hurt me. This time I don"t want to be hurt. I just want him to feel how deep my connection is to him.

I kiss down his cheek; the scruff of his beard tickles my nose. I nuzzle against it.

Bishop"s hands land on my hips, and he holds me still. I"m getting him riled up. It"s exactly the plan.

"Gabi, what are you doing? Talk to me." His voice is soft.

"I"m doing what my heart is telling me to do. I"m listening to my instincts. They want you, Bishop." I sit up straight on his lap and lift the sleep shirt I have on over my head.

He groans deeply but quietly as I bare my naked body to him. The hunger erupts in his gaze.

"We don"t have to. You don"t have to..." he starts, but I lean forward and quiet him with another kiss. I know I don"t have to. He"s let me know over and over again that whatever happens between him and me will be my choice. I trust him to take care of me in every way.

Slowly, I reach down between us and untie the sweatpants he has on. I push them down as far as I can without breaking the kiss, while he pushes them down the rest of the way with his legs.

Laying myself flat against his body, I wrap my arms around his neck and roll back over until I"m laying flat on my back and he"s on top of me.

"Please, Bishop. Make love to me."

Almost as if those were the words that he was waiting to hear, a soft smile breaks over his face, and he slowly sinks himself into me.

This isn"t the rough hate sex that we used to have in the torture chamber for everyone to see. Nor is it the crazed, wild fucking I wanted when I thought I needed pain to feel alive. This is slow and deliberate. Every touch of his hand heals me a little more. Every kiss brightens something inside of me. With each thrust, I feel my heart swelling up until there"s just no more room for any more love to take root. The emotions spill out of my eyes in the form of tears—tears Bishop kisses away with his lips and whispers of heavy promises.

This is what I needed from the beginning. Someone to let me know that it was all going to be okay. No, not just someone. I needed Bishop. He"ll always do right by me. I know that for sure. Even if what we have is only fleeting, I"m grateful that I"ve been given the chance to have him.

***

Bishop and I stayed in bed for most of the morning, but by the afternoon he was chomping at the bit. He only told me he had some leads to follow up on. I didn"t want to know the specifics of it. He made me a promise that he"d find the Faceless and make them pay for what they did to us. I"m sure that"s what"s going to happen.

But while he was off trying to make our wrongs right, I didn"t have much to do with myself. I"ve basically secluded myself from everyone here. It"s lonely when the entire world seems like such a scary place.

Suffering from a bit of cabin fever, I put on some clothes and walk out of the clubhouse. Just for a stroll around the property and to get some fresh air. When I hear pounding footsteps coming up from behind me, I nearly have a panic attack right there and then.

"Hey, what are you doing?" April asks, out of breath when she reaches me.

I let out a breath and get myself under control. There"s no reason to think anyone would be able to get me while I"m here. At least not while Bishop is in the clubhouse. Even though logically I know I"m safe, it"s still hard to shake the anxiety.

I smile when April matches my pace and entwines her arm with mine.

"I"m just getting a little air. It"s a little stuffy in there sometimes," I joke.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I love those guys, but if another person asks me how I"m doing with that pitiful head tilt, I"m going to lose my mind."

I know exactly the look she"s talking about. The one with pity in their eyes. Sure, we"ve been through some hard stuff, but we survived. Sometimes the way the guys and girls in the clubhouse look at me makes me feel like we failed.

"Ah, don"t worry about them. They only mean the best."

"Yeah, I know."

"Speaking of the people in there, where were you this morning? You weren"t in the room when I woke up." It was for the best anyway. I was frightened for a second when I didn"t see her, but I"m glad she didn"t have to see me having that horrible nightmare. It was only because Bishop poked his head in the room to check on us that he saw me screaming and crying in my sleep. I"d like to shield April from that if I can. I"m sure she has her own nightmares to deal with.

"Oh, um..." April looks down, and I feel her tense up.

"Uh-uh, no secrets. Where were you?"

"I was with Winnie. I wasn"t doing anything; we were just talking." She shrugs, but I see her face blossom to a bright red color.

I toss my head back and laugh, "Girl, that"s nothing to be ashamed about. Winnie is a good kid. I thought you and Fly had something going on though?"

"Fly is nice, but he"s too far away. I don"t know if I can deal with a long-distance relationship right now. Hell, I don"t know if I can deal with any relationship right now. Winnie is a good friend. He understands I can"t do anything too serious right now."

With a nod, I agree with her. "Well, I"m happy for you. I"m glad you found someone you can open up to. You deserve a little bit of happiness after the war you"ve just been through."

April jerks my arm slightly so I have to look at her, "You deserve happiness too. You know that, right? Maybe with Bishop?"

"Nah, it"s not like that. We"re both scarred from all this shit. I don"t think it"ll ever really go anywhere with us. He"s only still sniffing around me because he feels guilty."

"Guilty? Why would he feel guilty? I thought you said Shade and the rest of them forced him to do all those things to you?"

"They did. I don"t blame him one bit for what happened while we were there, but I"m sure he blames himself. That"s just the kind of man Bishop is. Selfless, always looking after other people. Once he gets over his guilt, I"m sure he"ll move on with his life."

Almost as if he knew we were talking about him, I hear the back door to the clubhouse open, and out comes Bishop. His shoulders are tense and his eyes are squinted. When his gaze lands on April and me, I wave and watch as all the tension drains from his body. He gives a smile and a slight wave back before he turns and goes back into the clubhouse.

"I know I"m only eighteen and I have a lot of living left to do, but I hope you hear me out. I"ve only seen people look at you the way Bishop does in movies. That"s not guilt, Gabrielle, that man is in love with you. Don"t let this pass you by just because you don"t think you"re worthy of it. You deserve this. Let him be what you need and do the same for him."

I turn back to the now closed door. The man has been telling me with every action and word that he"s in love with me, but I"ve never taken it to heart. I always figured when the circumstances changed, so would he. But Bishop is staying true. He"s not changing, and the longer I"m in his presence, the more I can feel my heart melding with his. I do love him. It"s a bond so strong, not only because of the depth of my feelings but also because of our joint experiences. If he feels the same way I do, then April"s right. Life"s too short to pretend this isn"t happening. I"d rather take my chances on love than live a long life with regrets over what might have been.