Chapter 13

There"s no worsehell than the one I"m in.

The sound of April and Uma crying drifts off into the distance. I swear, if I didn"t know any better, I"d think someone was rowing me out into the sea or something.

That"s exactly how I feel inside. Like I"m drifting out in a great expanse of water, and any moment now I"m going to go under. I"m drowning. And I can"t even scream for help anymore. What good would it do anyway?

I truly believed Bishop when he told me that he"d get me out. I believed him when he said the boys of Djinn and the other clubs were on their way. But after I watched the guards beat and pull Willa out with no regard for her pregnant belly, I know for sure that it"s all a lie. We"re never getting out of here. The clubs may be looking for us, but there"s no way they"re going to get us out in time. I"m going to die here.

"Gabi, stay with me, okay." I hear Bishop in the background. His voice reaches out to me like a life preserver, except I don"t reach back. I don"t want to be saved anymore. I just want it all to end.

I can"t take any more abuse, both physically and emotionally. I"m done, at my end. All I can do now is hope that whatever the guards have planned for me is quick. I don"t want them to draw it out anymore.

Maybe I can get Bishop to kill me. That would be a mercy, right? He"s all for making me feel better. My death is the only thing that would stop this pain.

Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours. I don"t know how long I"m sitting in the same spot with everyone else huddled around me, but I"m still sitting there when the heavy lock on the door slides open.

I blink my eyes a few times, trying to adjust to the dull light in the room.

Bishop pushes himself up from the floor and once again tries to stand and protect us. Luckily for him and for us, the guards aren"t interested in playing with us right now. They"re just here to drop off their latest atrocity.

They literally toss Willa back into the room. Her body is limp, and there are blood and cuts all over her skin.

"Oh God." Uma croaks as she pushes away from me and crawls over to where Willa is.

Looking up into the guards" faces, I see two of them are unbothered by the scene in front of them, but one of them actually has the nerve to look remorseful. I"m not sure which of them infuriates me more—the ones that don"t give a fuck or the one who expects me to feel pity for him.

"Get out! Get the fuck out of here!" I surge up to my feet and lunge at the guards before anyone can grab me.

The remorseful one grabs hold of my arms to keep me from striking them. I didn"t even realize I was swinging my fists.

"I tried to get them to stop. I swear I did," he whispers in my direction as if that"s enough to absolve him of his crimes. It"s disgusting. With all the hatred in my heart, I clear my throat and spit directly in the man"s face.

"Gabrielle!" Bishop hisses at me from where he is behind. We all know how unhinged these guards can get. I don"t care. I don"t care about anything anymore.

At least until I hear Willa call for me. Her weak voice cuts through the rage.

I pull away from the guard and fall to my knees to crawl over to where she is lying.

The guards take that moment to leave the five of us alone.

"Something"s wrong. It"s too.... something..." Willa pants and looks up into my eyes with fear.

"Nothing"s wrong. We got you now." I swipe some of the blood off her face so I can look into her pretty eyes.

"The baby... Save my baby, Gabrielle." Willa begs, and I look down between her thighs. I can see the clear bruises on the insides of her thighs from where the men pried her legs open, but what was more concerning was the bright red blood that seemed to be soaking through the thin fabric she was wearing.

Just as I recognized how severe this is, Willa let out a blood-curdling scream and grabbed for her stomach.

"Oh no, is she having the baby now?" Uma asks and backs up away from her. She"s scared, but I don"t have the energy to console her.

I"ve got nothing left to give.

"Willa, I"m just going to check you out, okay. You"ve got some bleeding going on. I need to see." I fall right into caretaker mode, almost on autopilot.

"I"m dying. Save the baby," Willa mutters, and her eyes roll back before she refocuses and looks at me.

My heart is beating a million miles a minute. This can"t be happening. Not right now. Not today.

"No, you"re going to be fine. Everything is going to be alright." I look up into Bishop"s face, trying to get a little bit of reassurance, but instead, all I see is the defeated look etched in his expression. My eyes follow his, and I look back down between Willa"s legs to see the small puddle of blood that we"d noticed before has nearly tripled in size. She"s bleeding out. There"s nothing I can do to stop it.

She"s right. She is going to die.

"I have to push. Oh God." Willa moans and barely lifts her legs before a gush of fluid and blood comes out of her. Bishop grabs one leg, and I grab the other. She pushes a few times weakly. I do all I can to guide her through the process, but I can tell she"s not really paying attention to me. She"s only doing what her body needs her to do. After the third push, I see a small head poking out from between her legs. Positioning myself so I can catch the baby, I grab one of the last rags we have and cradle it under the child"s head. Another push later, and Willa has given birth to a very small little boy.

The silence in the room is deafening.

I rub the child as best I can. It"s so small, barely bigger than my hand. Its eyes are still mostly translucent, and they are closed.

"Come on, baby. Come on, Skylar. Cry for us." I pray with everything I have as I begin CPR on the small child. There"s no response, and the child"s skin is grayer than anything I"ve ever seen on a newborn. It feels like hours I"m working on the child until Bishop grabs hold of my hand and stops me.

"He"s gone," he whispers, and it opens the floodgates. This poor child, who didn"t even have a chance at life, taken from the world.

Uma and April hold each other in the corner and cry hard. Even Bishop cradles his face and lets the tears flow. I can"t. I"m numb. I simply wrap the child up in the small rag and lay him next to his mother, who has gone silent herself. The blood still hasn"t stopped from between her legs, and her breathing is more thready than before.

"Gabi?" She calls for me, and I rush to get up by her head.

"Yes, sweetheart, I"m here. It"s okay now. It"s all over."

"Tell me... tell me about outside. I forgot." She croaks, her eyes fluttering closed as tears slide down her cheeks.

"Oh, well, where I"m from, there are so many trees. Tall evergreens and oaks. The birds sing every morning, even in the blistering cold. Animals rummage through the forest for food and just to have fun. There"s one little deer that comes into my backyard every day. She"s chestnut brown and has two spots on either side of her eyes. She looks like a little raccoon to me. It took me a long while to figure out that it was her stealing from my vegetable garden."

Willa lets out a soft chuckle, so I continue.

"That"s nothing compared to the family of squirrels that live on my roof. I don"t know how they got up there or what they"re doing, but I hear them every morning when I wake up. It"s like they know I"m going to get ready for the day. I bring out seeds for them. Every morning, like clockwork." A soft smile pushes up my lips as I think back on my home life. How I wish I"d get to see them again. Just the little idiosyncrasies that I took for granted before. I used to hate the squirrels on my roof; they"d run around super early in the morning. Now I"d give anything just to see them running back and forth on the ledge all day.

"What about the people?" Willa asks, her words slurring.

"Oh, everyone is so nice where I live. When I first moved there, I was surprised. I wasn"t used to people waving hi to me as I walked down the street."

"Good people." Willa whispers.

"Yes, there are good people. They"re everywhere. You"ll get to see some good people soon. Soon you won"t have to worry about any of this. Soon you"ll be free."

That"s the last thing I say to her. A promise that she"s going somewhere better. I"m not omnipotent. I can"t be sure but as she dies in my arms all I can do is pray that I"m right.