Chapter 15

Carlita held her breath. The free meals were going to pay off. “How can we help Cool Bones?”

“By staying out of the investigation. If the lead investigator catches wind you’re poking around, he won’t be happy.” Officer Kean lifted the to-go container. “I will thoroughly enjoy eating this later tonight. Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome.” Carlita waited until they were gone. “What a total waste of time.”

“Maybe not.” Mercedes flung her arm around her mother’s shoulder. “The good news is, if I ever have to do community service again and Officer Kean is in charge, I’ll get VIP treatment.”

*****

Carlita wrapped up her shift and walked home. She found Pete seated at the counter; an array of papers spread out in front of him. “How did it go?”

“It was a big fat nothing burger. The cop took the food…literally ate the bait. He knew about Cool Bones’ case. The only advice he gave us was to stay out of it.”

“Which means you’re back to square one.”

“Almost back to square one,” Carlita corrected. “Mercedes heard them saying something about digging up another grave. I think the next step is to swing by the apartment where it all went down, try to get a lay of the land and see if Mrs. Culpepper is still there.”

“Cool Bones is lucky to have a friend like you,” Pete said.

“Friends like us,” she corrected

“Snitchy Snitch,” Snitch said.

Carlita dropped her purse on the counter. “Gunner and Snitch are still chattering and catching up?”

“Nonstop. I had to leave for a couple of hours. When I got back, they were still at it.”

Vamos a bailar! Snitch yelled.

“What does vamos a bailar mean?” Carlita asked.

“I have no idea.” Pete shook his head. “I think she’s speaking Spanish.”

“I’m gonna look it up.” Carlita grabbed her laptop. “I wonder how it’s spelled.”

“It sounds like vamoose and baylar,” Pete said.

“That’s what I was thinking.” She typed in what they thought the parrot was saying and added “in Spanish,” at the end. “The dictionary is suggesting vamos a bailar, which means let’s dance.”

“Maybe Elvira is teaching her some Spanish dance moves,” Pete joked.

“There’s only one way to find out.” Carlita tracked down an online Spanish salsa playlist and hit the play button.

“Vamos a bailar.” With tufted head bobbing, Snitch dipped and swayed, strutting along her post to the snappy tune. Maracas, timbales, a piano and conga drums filled the air, all in rhythm.

“Let’s dance.” Carlita clapped her hands and shimmied to the music.

“I thought you would never ask.” Pete grabbed his wife’s hand, spinning her around.

“Let’s dance.” Gunner, not to be left out, mimicked Snitch’s moves.

Rambo pranced around, barking loudly.

The song ended, and Snitch stopped.

“Finito.” Carlita laughed. “That was fun.”

“I think we all did a fine job of cutting the rug.” Pete tapped the top of his watch. “By the way, Elvira called. She should be here soon to pick Snitch up.”

“I’m glad we offered to keep her. Something tells me it took some time for Elvira to recuperate from her community service.” Pete leaned in and lowered his voice. “I think Snitch is spying on us. She keeps repeating what I say.”

Carlita tapped her foot on the floor, studying the bird, who was watching them closely. “You think so?”

“I know so.” Pete pulled a ten-dollar bill from his wallet. “I’ll bet you ten bucks this bird is spying on us.”

“Let’s give her something to report back to Elvira.” Carlita’s expression grew mischievous. With her hands behind her back, she waltzed over to the bird’s cage. “Hello, Snitch.”

“Hello.” Snitch tilted her head, studying Carlita. “Gunner is handsome.”

“Gunner is handsome. Snitch is beautiful.”

“Snitchy Snitch,” the parrot replied.

“Tubby treasure.”

“Tubby treasure,” she repeated.

Pete chuckled, making his way over. “Don’t forget–tubby treasure.”

Buzz. Buzz. The bell rang. “I bet that’s Elvira.” Carlita ran downstairs to let her in.

“Hello, Elvira.”

“Hey, Carlita.” Elvira moved slowly, trudging up the stairs.

“Are you all right?”

“My back hurts. My legs ache. I think I got into some poison ivy.” Elvira lifted her sleeve, revealing a huge red welt running down her arm. “I’m itching like crazy.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Carlita led her into the apartment.

“Intruder alert, intruder alert,” Snitch screeched.

“Did you forget me already?” Elvira shook her head. “Ungrateful bird.”

“Snitchy Snitch,” Snitch said.

“Thanks for offering to keep her an extra day.”

“You’re welcome. It’s been very…loud,” Pete said. “Snitch is a good listener.”

“And a great informant,” Elvira snickered. “I hope you didn’t say anything you wouldn’t shout from the rooftops.”

Carlita looked away, trying not to laugh. “Not that I can recall.”

“I hate to grab and go, but I have a conference call with my contact in Alaska. I’m making final preparations for my trip.”

“When is it?”

“The end of summer.”

“Have you told Sharky you’re coming?” Carlita asked.

“I mentioned it in passing. I want to surprise him. It’s gonna be awesome.”

“Are you sure he likes surprises?”

“Who doesn’t love a good surprise? I mean…” Elvira struck a seductive pose and patted her hair. “He’ll get all of this.”

“Oh, brother.” Carlita rolled her eyes. “Let us know when the date gets closer.”

“You betcha.” The trio discussed the progress of the basement dig and then Elvira left.

Suddenly, the apartment got very quiet. Gunner shuffled to the end of his perch. He tucked his head down and promptly fell asleep.

“Where did you come up with tubby treasure?” Pete asked.

“I don’t know. It’s the first thing that popped into my head and I figured it would be easy for Snitch to remember.”

“Are you interested in betting on a timeline?” he asked.

“For Elvira to start looking for tubby treasure?” Carlita chuckled. “Less than 24 hours. She’ll spend every free moment she has trying to figure it out.”