Chapter 9: JOSLIN

Chapter Nine

JOSLIN

I wake up to a face full of ass cheeks. I freeze. Why is this man standing in front of me naked with his ass out. Steel’s outfit consists of a white t-shirt and… white socks. That’s it. Normally, I would greet him with good morning , but he clearly thinks I’m asleep, which is why he’s walking around butt naked like this. I can’t say a word. Just stare at his ass cheeks and honestly… admit to myself that I’ve never seen an ass this built in my life.

What the hell? I know I’m mixed, but I feel like I got cheated and this white boy is caked up like a Sprinkles bakery. I bite on my lower lip and close my eyes, ignoring the weird shiver that settles in. Again… why is his ass out?

Steel clears his throat and I hear him crossing the room. When he walks past me, I can smell shampoo, soap, and black coffee. I guess that explains why he has his ass hanging out, but most people put their underwear on before walking out of the bathroom for coffee. I listen for shuffling that sounds like Steel dressing and then I slowly stage my fake wake up because I don’t want this man getting any ideas about being naked in front of me.

I’m not in the mood for any man and his lust. Even if this man is very attractive and smells incredible. Hotels have really upgraded their shampoo situation recently because he smells a lot better than he did yesterday. Although I must have smelled worse. I shift slightly and Steel greets me first.

“Morning, Joslin.”

He leans against the wall across the room and watches me yawn and throw the covers off slowly. My body is stiff and my mouth feels totally dry again. Patches of my neck, ears and arms sting from sunburn and I wish I could be dropped into an ice bath. Despite the pain, I smile and greet him.

I don’t have to cook breakfast.

“A smile,” he says. “That’s nice.”

My smile falls away. Not because of his compliment, but because he has a point about my smile being inappropriate.

“Sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for. Hungry?”

“Thirsty.”

“Seraphine’s making breakfast for you downstairs. She’ll bring it up once it’s all then. Until then… grapefruit juice? Coffee?”

I keep looking at him like he’s an alien. It shouldn’t surprise me that he’s acting so… nice… I guess I’m surprised he’s acting like anything at all considering how much he drank on the way here.

“I don’t drink coffee,” I say. “But juice sounds nice. Thank you.”

He hands me a giant bottle of juice and urges me to drink it. “You can have the whole thing.”

I start drinking it and damn this tastes good. I act like Steel did with that beer yesterday and polish off the entire thing. My body feels alive after the infusion of sugar. I hand Steel the empty bottle and catch a whiff of whiskey coming from his coffee mug.

This man… I give him a disapproving look as he finishes off the coffee and sets the mug down.

“Drinking already?”

“Just getting my hangover down,” he says. “Now… I’ll give you a chance to shower, but we have to talk about last night.”

I nod and get out of bed. I don’t think I would have been able to stand up without that juice, honestly. I feel weak, but capable. Steel hands me a stack of towels.

“I don’t have any clean clothes.”

“Seraphine has two teenage sons. I got you a pair of St. Louis Blues sweatpants and a giant Korn t-shirt. They’ll fit.”

I give him a suspicious look, but I’m just happy he doesn’t offer to join me in the shower or something equally terrifying. I’m lucky he didn’t put his hands on me all night. It made sharing a bed with him… nice. I got to be with someone and I didn’t have to have that… terror.

Before I turn the water on, I hear him start a phone call, but the water drowns it out. I strip down and examine my body for marks from the desert. The sunburn is the worst thing that happened to me out there. But what I saw was…

Too much.

Without Steel’s presence to distract me from my thoughts, I go right back to the desert again as I step into the shower and the confined space reminds me of the intense vulnerability I felt running through the desert with all the supplies I could carry on my back, desperately trying to use the sun to guide me all while running out of water.

I knew when I smelled cigarette smoke, it wasn’t a good thing. SLITLICKER. The patch on the Nazi’s cut was right at my eye level. I didn’t see him behind the rocks. I was too focused on figuring out which way was North until he was right in front of me. I tried to run but… he caught me.

The water runs through my hair and the entire shower smells like cloying sweat. I can’t believe Steel shared a bed with me all night smelling like this and he didn’t throw me onto the floor or something. I wash myself clean and finish up with the conditioner, getting the knots out of my curls. In the shower, I braid my hair into two separate braids that might look very strange once they dry out and my curls shrink, but for now, it helps to get my hair clean and out of my face.

With the water off, I hear some of Steel’s conversation outside. I stop moving so I can hear better.

He’s talking about me.

“I don’t want anyone knowing about her,” he growls. “Tell them I saw it with my own eyes.”

He’s quiet and I slip into the Korn t-shirt, which is a men’s 2XL that fits me more like a dress. The sweatpants must belong to a younger son, because they’re a much more reasonable size and once I pull the strings tight and fold the waist over, I can fit into them. St. Louis Blues… Is that a baseball team or something?

“She’s fucking traumatized, Wyatt. I can’t yell at her and I’m not gonna tie her up like a damn turkey, either. I’m not a fucking Blackwood.”

I don’t know if I should be happy that he doesn’t want to tie me up or worried that whoever he’s talking to suggested it. I glance at my hair and face in the mirror. Damn, my skin got way darker. I don’t mind, honestly. I just wish I had something I could put on the red patches to soothe them. I take the cup near the motel sink and fill it with water.

“Once I’m sure she’s safe, I’ll come back to deal with club business,” Steel says, his voice sounding more tense than before. “Until then, get someone else to do it. I spent five years in prison for the club. I’m handling my shit now.”

He ends the call abruptly and before I realize he’s done, Steel’s fists hit the door.

“Joslin, baby. I need to talk to you.”

I flinch, but only out of surprise. If this man wanted to hurt me, he could have done it last night… When I open the bathroom door, Steel is practically standing in the frame and his face transforms once he sees me.

“Goddamn,” he says.

“What?”

“You look hot,” he says.

I’m flat as a board and literally dressed like a teenage boy. My “sleep braids” look like they were done by somebody left-handed with a hurt arm — which happens to describe me perfectly. I might look a lot of things… but I don’t look hot.

And why is this man saying that?

I’m married to someone else.

Or a widow.

Or something that he shouldn’t touch.