Chapter 29: JOSLIN

Chapter Twenty-Nine

JOSLIN

Las Vegas Deluxe Wedding Emporium

E verywhere we go, people gaze up at Ryder with a mixture of fear and respect. Some of that energy rubs off on me when I’m with him. The closer I get to Ryder, the safer I feel, even if I know he’s a criminal. The second we enter the wedding emporium, the woman rushes over to Ryder and introduces herself as Catalina, as if he’s the one about to buy a wedding dress, and offers to help.

She’s short with long, wavy black hair and the thickest eyelashes I’ve ever seen on a woman. She looks fashionable and like a real city person. I look up to her instantly as the keeper of all wedding related knowledge. And I feel unusually plain instead of normal.

Ryder puts his arm around my shoulder and draws me closer. Catalina looks at me once Ryder pulls me close, her face getting wider as she realizes he’s about to spend some money here.

“I need a dress that makes this woman look like a princess and the phone number of an officiant who can get us married today,” Ryder says, tacking on more complex requests for Catalina than one could reasonably expect her to perform.

She looks surprised at his request but she responds with a simple, “I’ll see what I can do.”

The woman disappears for a while and then returns with a rolling rack containing four wedding dresses that look… huge. They really do look like princess dresses. I glance over at Ryder, to see if this gigantic biker really wants to go through wedding dress shopping of all things…

He looks ecstatic.

“Shit. Those look straight out of a movie. Joslin… This is all your choice… I’ll go get one of those energy drinks while you decide.”

“Another one?”

“I need energy for our wedding, church girl.”

He squeezes my hand gently, kisses me on the lips and then leaves me alone with the saleswoman – and no money, I might add. She looks at Ryder as he leaves and I catch her eyes wandering to his ass. There’s a strange pulse of jealousy as she looks at him, even if I know I would be looking at his butt in her position too. I don’t have to look when I get to feel his butt pressing into me on the bike. Every part of me flutters.

“How did he propose?” she asks, almost swooning on the spot before I say a single word. I answer her question as vaguely as possible, saying it was a total surprise and that he popped the question spontaneously. She finds my story romantic, Ryder just watches with an annoyingly smug look on his face until I finish talking.

He’s busy with those damned energy drinks. I watch Ryder disappear towards his energy drink without a care in the world as Catalina drags me around the emporium. I guess I’m stuck with Catalina until he gets back from… wherever he went off to with that drink. I look at the dresses, realizing for the first time that I never really pictured my dream wedding dress. I don’t know where Ryder thinks they’ll let us in with these fabulous gowns.

“What do you think?” Catalina asks.

“They’re so… big.”

“Try them on! Petite girls like you are so lucky. You look good in everything.”

I smile and thank her for the compliment, but the truth is that growing up petite isn’t always compliments and clothes that fit. I had to wear clothes from the little boys’ section my last year of high school because my mom would have died before letting me out of her sight in a mini-skirt. The fleeting thought of her fills me with guilt. She was thrilled at my first wedding, even if I didn’t smile and even if my future husband made sexual comments about me throughout his wedding vows.

What would she think of Ryder? She must think something of him. They met, according to him.

“Do you have anything made out of silk?” I ask Catalina. She gushes about their silk options and scurries to the back. My first wedding was so heavy. I want this one to be… light. Just like silk. I want it to feel like my second and hopefully my last wedding dress. Once Catalina disappears, the memories of my mother on my first wedding day get stronger and I feel this strange twist of sadness that I haven’t felt since leaving Arizona.

Is it just because Ryder left me alone for a while? I do wish he would come back but… maybe it’s just me missing her. Even if our relationship wasn’t perfect.

Catalina returns with a new rack of dresses. Not all of these are that pure, crisp white, but I love the ivory and cream colors, especially when I think about how the fabrics will look and feel against my skin tone. My stomach tightens nervously at the thought that this choice is one of the few I have ever made that was entirely mine. I should be strong enough to leave the past behind me.

“What do you think?”

“They’re lovely.”

I answer her honestly about the dresses. But I still feel nervous. I ask her as I touch each of the dresses and allow them to speak to me. The softest one is a smooth ivory color that I fall for instantly. I wonder what my mother would think of my hair… It doesn’t feel “wedding-ready” right now. I don’t even have time for a twist out…

The best I can do is a messy bun and even then… my mother was never happy that I got hair textured more like my father’s afro than her long, dark Filpina tresses. I didn’t have time to care about my hair growing up. I had bigger problems and let my mother worry about it. But what would Ryder think?

Right on time for my newly budding insecurities, I hear Ryder’s bike and watch him hop off it and walk towards the door with alarming speed. That man and those energy drinks…

“WOO!” he yells when he walks through the door. “Did you pick a dress already? Because you look hot…”

He kisses me, proving that whatever he drank was kiwi-lime flavored and liquor-free. The kiss is quick – a little too quick – before Steel smacks my ass in front of Catalina.

“That dress looks incredible.”

“I haven’t even tried it on yet,” I tell him.

“Well, go on…”

He looks at the saleswoman with a look that is way too cheeky and obvious.

“Can I go in there with her?”

“No, sir. You cannot.”

“Not even if I give you $1,000 and remind you that I need someone to marry the two of us before the day ends?”

The woman looks at me as if she doesn’t want me to judge her morality and the wedding dress on the same scale.

“You cum on it, you buy it,” she says, sticking her hand out. I watch Ryder to see if he’s serious about this offer of $1,000. I haven’t seen him work a single minute since I met him, so I don’t exactly expect him to be floating in cash. But that wild ass man reaches into his pockets and pulls out a thousand dollars.

She wraps her hands around the money like she’s afraid it will grow legs and run off.

“I know a guy who can get you married, but you need to go to north Las Vegas.”

“I don’t care if I have to ride to hell, as long as we can get married before midnight.”

“Your wish is my command Mister… Steel. ”

She reads his name off his cut and assumes it’s his last name. Ryder doesn’t correct her. She walks out of the emporium, leaving the two of us alone and me holding the wedding dress. One look at Ryder’s face, and I know I’m in danger of him and what he’s done to himself with these energy drinks.

I watch Ryder’s Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. His gaze fixes on mine with Ryder’s usual fierceful lust. He is so… dominating. The worst part is how badly he draws this soft, submissiveness out of me. Right when I should be on my highest guard. His face is just so… handsome.

“The second I see you in that thing, I’ll want to rip it off.”

I try to hold him off. We waited this long. The last thing I want is to mess up the wedding dress and do something inappropriate in public when we can just… wait.

“Maybe you and your energy drinks should wait outside the changing room, then.”

Ryder seems like he’s barely listening.

I walk towards the large doors to the changing rooms. The space beneath the door was clearly intended to prevent men like Ryder from following their wives into changing rooms. But he took care of that. Ryder holds the door open for me and I pause.

“It’s bad luck to see me in my wedding dress before the wedding.”

“Even a few hours before?”

“Do we really need our marriage to be cursed?” I ask him. “We’re already taking a huge risk.”

He smiles again. There’s always something mysterious about Ryder’s smiling. He never says what’s on his mind or what exactly about my presence he finds so entertaining.

“Fine,” he says. “I’ll wait outside. Even if it kills me.”

“It won’t kill you.”

I walk inside the changing room and shut the door behind me, turning the lock. It feels like a symbolic gesture because Ryder definitely has the strength and most likely the skill to break down this door to get to me. I watched him pick a gas station lock with basically nothing.

Ryder rests his back against the changing room door, nearly knocking it down just from his gentle weight. He sighs.

“This is painful. I want to see you naked.”

“Ryder!”

“What?” He says. “It’s true.”

“I thought sobering up would make you think a little before speaking.”

“That sweet nectar you introduced me to makes me want to talk,” Ryder says, turning around so his feet point beneath the changing room door.

“Caffeine? Most people have a little and get woken up,” I tell him. “You’re acting like you’re about to tear down the door to see me naked.”

I take my clothes off slowly. I know logically he can’t see me, but Ryder must be staring through the door so damn hard, because I can almost feel his eyes on the back of my neck while I change.

Mirrors surround me as I expose myself so thoroughly for the first time. I’ve seen myself naked in the motel mirrors, but I wasn’t trying on wedding dresses and I didn’t have to take my clothes off like this. I don’t think I look particularly pretty. Even if I’ve only been quiet for a minute or two, Ryder knocks on the door impatiently.

“How do you look? Are your tits out?”

“I don’t have the dress on yet.”

“What about your tits?”

“Ryder…”

“We’re alone,” he says. “You could at least describe them for me.”

“I’m not looking at my boobs, Ryder.”

But I’m lying. Of course. The second Ryder starts asking me about them, I examine my breasts in the mirror. My ex-husband loved pointing out how small they were. He would get mean about it too, calling me a “little girl” and making the most perverted comments. It’s hard to imagine loving my small boobs. I don’t care about them but… I don’t love them either.

“Then look at them,” he says. “Tell daddy what he’s missing.”

My throat tightens. I guess I’m lucky that he doesn’t break down the door.

“They’re small and dark brown,” I say in the most calm and neutral voice that I can manage. I keep looking at them, although I don’t know what else he wants me to say.

“I bet they are,” he says. “What do your nipples look like?”

“Do you really need to know that?”

“Yes,” he says. “You have my dick so hard that listening to you describe those pretty tits is the only thing stopping me from?—

He trails off and then his voice resounds more forcefully. “Describe them, Joslin.”

“My nipples are… small. The color of… a York peppermint patty.”

“Damn,” Ryder says. “That sounds hot. Touch them.”

“What?” I heard him. But I don’t know what he means by touch them.

“Hold those tits and touch those nipples for me,” Ryder says. “Tell me how they feel.”

My boobs don’t have much weight in my palms. But they’re soft. My nipples get stiff and hard once I hold my boobs and roll them around. I can’t bring myself to say anything. But Ryder helps me along.

“Come on, baby. I know you’re shy but… You’re beautiful. And I want to get as close to your pretty brown tits as possible.”

Ryder has an unfairly hot voice. He just makes me want to listen to him, even if he commands me to do something completely immoral.

“They feel soft,” I tell him. “Is that enough for your fantasies? I want to put the dress on.”

“I can make this go a lot faster,” he says. Before I can ask Ryder how he plans to do that, the changing room door swings open. I swore I locked it. Ryder smirks at my disbelieving book. I remember the gas station. There isn’t a locked door this man can’t break through.

Instinctively, I cover my tits, which just makes the corners of his eye crinkle more as he chuckles.

“Don’t cover up. I want to see them.”

“What if Catalina comes back?!”

“She won’t,” he says. “Not if we work fast.”

My nipples stiffen against my palms. My body’s response betrays me. Ryder gazes at my hands like he’s trying to bore holes in them.

“Drop those hands,” he says. “Let me see them.”

“Ryder.”

“Are you going to make me beg?”

“Would that humble you?”

“Nope.”

He reaches for my hands as if he’s trying to pull them away and I foolishly fall for his trick, letting go of my boobs to swat him off. I’m so frustrated with myself that I smack Ryder’s arm while he laughs.

“Damn,” he says. “That’s the hardest I’ve ever had to work to see a pair of titties.”

“You didn’t work at all. You broke in here and tricked me.”

“Worth every second,” he says, reaching for my boobs and running his thumbs over my exposed, hard nipples. The thrill that runs through me feels like it’s running pure mind control over me. I nearly moan, and I have to stop myself. I never expected to be here, half-naked in a changing room with a dangerous ex-con cupping my breasts and running his thumbs around my nipples in slow, deliberate circles.

Ryder locks eyes with me, desperate to see the pleasure on my face which I couldn’t hide if I tried. He bends to his knees and grabs me by the hips, pulling me close. I don’t know why I expect him to kiss my stomach first when he made his intentions so damn clear. Ryder leans forward and plants a kiss straight on my nipple. He french kisses my left nipple and doesn’t move to my right one until I lose control and moan out loud.

The sound causes me to blush with embarrassment, and I try to quiet the sound of my breathing, which sounds loud and desperate. Ryder’s palm presses firmly against my back as he drags my body close to his so he can continue teasing my breasts. His warm tongue moves in smooth circles and the intense warmth from his lavish attention on my breasts turns into a gush between my legs.

I squirm as my body craves more and I grow more desperate to escape Ryder’s clutches and just… wait. I want things to be right with Ryder now that we made this crazy choice to marry each other. It helps that we know each other’s deep, dark secrets. That I already know this man will protect me.

Ryder makes a low noise in the back of his throat which worsens the wetness between my legs.

“Please,” he says in a low, growling voice. “Let me touch your pussy.”

“We can’t have sex. We shouldn’t ,” I plead desperately as Ryder tugs at the waistband of my underwear before I answer him. He keeps teasing my hips, threatening to pull my underwear off just from the way his hands move against the fabric.

“This place sells thongs,” he says. “Sexy thongs for women to get married in…”

This man knows a lot about weddings for someone who spent five years in prison. Before I can tell him that, or throw him off his lustful path, Ryder reaches forward and grabs the front of my panties with his teeth.

When Ryder’s teeth scrape against my skin, I push my hands against his head in an effort to shove him away from me. Ryder grabs my hips and then moves his hands to my ass so he can drag me closer to him and keep playing with my underwear using his teeth. It’s nearly impossible to shove his big head away from me.

“Ryder…”

“Let me taste you,” he whispers. “One fucking taste and I’ll wait. I promise…”

I don’t understand what type of man has this consistent drive to please a woman and get nothing in return. I almost don’t trust him not to trick me into sex somehow. But Ryder looks up at me from his knees and I can’t stop myself from giving in to how sexy he looks on his knees.

“You look hot,” he says. “I respect you, Joslin… but I need to eat your pussy.”

“Need?”

“The way I used to need liquor.”

“You’re crazy.”

He reaches for the waistband of my underwear again, maintaining steady eye contact as his finger breaches the boundary and he moves slowly towards my mound.

“Please,” he says. “Give your man what he needs.”

I want to tell him “no”, but Ryder’s finger strokes my clit and instead of rejecting him, my body emits a loud moan. He smiles, keeping that mischievous eye contact alive as his sloppy wet finger moves in slow circles around my clit. My responses leave my control.

Ryder moves his fingers between my lower lips, moving towards my entrance and massaging the sides of my inner walls until my hand rests against his shoulder to steady myself. Once I touch Ryder’s shoulder through his t-shirt, I can feel the contours of his musculature and a jolt of pleasure surges through me, causing me to moan even louder.

I don’t have control anymore. Ryder’s fingers took it away from me and the way his glorious muscles support my weight only increases the intensity of my desire for Ryder’s body. I want his tongue. I thought I could resist the desire for him, but I can’t.

He makes me so damn hot. The warmth pulses between my legs and juices squirt out of me as his fingers keep moving all over my lower lips.

I haven’t had a single thought since Ryder’s fingers entered my panties. Using his other hand, he drags my panties off and I’m so busy trying to quiet my moans, that I don’t even stop him. Ryder throws my underwear to the side like I won’t be needing it back.

“I’ll get you a new thong,” he says with a low, deep voice. “I want to see your sexy brown ass in something white…”

Ryder grips my ass cheeks with firm lust. I never thought of my butt as particularly attractive, but Ryder’s face turns dark red as he grips my ass and spreads my cheeks apart, allowing juices from my pussy to get… everywhere.

Embarrassment nearly causes me to slip away from Ryder, but he clamps down his grip on me and pulls my lower lips to his face like he’s drinking soup from a bowl. His tongue spreads me apart and before I know what hit me, his tongue wraps around my clit and intense heat spreads through every inch of my body.

I nearly cum instantly. The build up of his slow, teasing touch helps push me to that point, but the soft, initial movement from Ryder’s tongue removes any possible control I might have had. He just feels so good. He knows exactly where to touch me with his tongue. Ryder sucks on my lower lips and then he starts to eat me out like he really doesn’t care that we’re in the emporium’s very public changing room.

I brace myself against his shoulders, my last shred of decency giving me the momentum to make a final effort at escape. Prepared for my squirming, Ryder just grips my butt harder and pushes his tongue deeper, forcing me to cum. The explosion of pleasure surprises me and I nearly lose my balance.

Ryder keeps sucking on my clit until my moaning fades out into soft shudders of breath. He licks my outer lips and gives my mound a kiss, like he’s saying goodbye. Ryder looks up at me from his position on his knees, looking very pleased with himself. I’ve never seen him looking so happy.

My emotions are all over the place. I feel good, but I’m covered in sweat with shaky legs and I don’t know what the hell Ryder wants from me next…