Chapter 6: Ruger

Chapter Six

Ruger

E den. The name suits her. Zayna smiles when I say it, and I feel that strange sensation from earlier – like when I first held the baby. Eden. Eden Blackwood. My daughter. I feed Eden, then give Zayna a chance so I can watch her do it and make sure she gets it right. She takes Eden from me, gently supporting her head and I watch the two of them with the strangest feeling building in me.

Once she gets food in her, Eden gets a little fussy. I burp her and do all the nasty shit she needs before I set her down to sleep. Zayna uses the restroom and when she comes back looking more put together, she just stares at me holding Eden with large, dark eyes like a doe. Hm . I don’t know what her motives are exactly, but she appears to be obedient for now, so I’m not questioning it. I like her eyes on me. They’re pretty, dark brown eyes. And large.

I like a woman looking up at me with big doe eyes. It’s just a preference. Her hair is… messy and dirty, but I don’t know if it’s supposed to look like that. Tamiya burst my lip open once when I asked a completely innocent question about her hair and I don’t want any drama with this one.

When I put Eden down, I give Zayna another look. Getting her in here was too easy. But I don’t know what I’m going to do with her now that Eden is down. Just looking at her creates this animal tension between us. It has been a very long time since I’ve talked to a woman. I wouldn’t call what I did with Darlene the past few months talking and Oske… Well, she eats pussy. So. It’s not the same. She’s like a dude. A girlie dude. I don’t like to think about it.

Zayna speaks, which honestly surprises me.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“I don’t know.”

“I want my own room.”

I grin. “Why?”

Her face twists up. I swear I see disgust flashing across her face and that pisses me off, I won’t lie.

“You know why,” she says. “You’re not stupid.”

I laugh. “You don’t know that.”Her face hardens.

“I know,” she says. “You might be fucked up, though.”

“Yeah? I’m not that fucked up.”

“Show me how to do the bottles.”

“Okay.”

I don’t like that she makes me a little nervous. So I had better show her these bottles before I do something about those nerves. I know myself. I’ll do something wrong and then who knows if she’ll go crying to Quin.

Zayna waits for me to move towards the door. Getting close to her makes me nervous. She scans the room.

“So you think a mounted buck is good decor for a baby room?”

“Kitchen.”

Naturally, this woman won’t have any taste. I don’t like feminine touches in my space. I like to live like a man.

“Okay,” Zayna says. “Show me the bottles, big dog.”

“Big dog?”

“That’s what you look like.”

“So you’re gonna run your mouth without fear of the consequences?”

Zayna stops. I stop too. We’re in the doorway, too close. She smells… unpleasant. But she’s pretty. Even her skin is really pretty. I don’t know how to describe it. But I do have a strange fixation with her skin. It’s a sepia color. Reddish undertones. Dark, but a little red.

“What consequences? I know you killed at least four people and you have complete control over me.”

“Complete control over you,” I whisper. Her eyes stay on mine. “I don’t think so.”

But it does give me a good idea. Or a terrible one. If I stay in that doorway much longer, getting a perfect eye full of this woman’s large tits, I’m going to burst. I’m going to fuck myself up and fuck myself over. I’m going to make the worst choice of my life – after all the shit with Darlene which surely can’t be fucking beat.

I smack her butt to get moving. Zayna stifles a yelp.

Complete control.

What an interesting idea…

I show Zayna how to prepare Eden’s bottles. Zeus hangs out nearby, hoping for treats. Zayna learns how to do the bottles quickly, giving Zeus a few pats on the head when she thinks I can’t see. Once the bottles are prepared, and the dirty ones washed and in the sterilizer machine, Zayna leans back against the kitchen counter, her hands around her stomach. She looks at me, awaiting instruction. It makes my dick hard the way she looks at me expectantly.

I don’t know what it is about her. Maybe the eyes. Still… even if her eyes and frankly, the rest of her, make me think dirty thoughts, I have to stay clean. Stay pure. Keep my hands off her.

“You’re sleeping in my room tonight. I need you close.”

“If you try to put your hands on me, I’ll bite.”

This woman. She should be careful saying shit like that. Biting might scare some men, but it doesn’t scare me. I might let this little cat bite me until she drew blood…

But not tonight. Never, you fucking bastard. Never.

“I won’t. I swear.”

“Do you think I should trust a killer?”

Her eyes change a bit. I know because I’m so fixated on them, I would notice the slightest movements in the corners. But this is a big change on her face and I have to make sure that she doesn’t know I know. But fuck… It gets me hard. Because why the hell did her eyes gleam when she said the word killer.

She didn’t sound afraid.

She sounded excited. I push my tongue around the inside of my mouth to keep my face straight.

“Those men wanted to kill me and they would have killed Eden or sold her. They’re outlaw bikers. Only one way to handle them.”

“What about the woman?”

Her eyes change again. Not fear. Curiosity. It makes me wonder if there’s something wrong with her, or if it’s all black women that have no problem staring straight at death. I wouldn’t be surprised. From what I’ve seen, that’s more true than anything Doc ever told me. “She was my wife.”

“So it’s your right to kill her?”

There it is. Just a little fear.

“If she does what she did. Yes.”

Then anger.

“What did she do?”

“She lied to me. She fucked another man. She got pregnant. And here we are.”

“So Eden isn’t yours?”

Anger. It surges through me too quickly for me to get it under control. What little distance remains between me and Zayna, I close and my fingers wrap around her neck. Small. Her throat is so small, so easy for me to take in my hands. I stop once I have a firm grip on her neck and my cock jerks awake once I have her in my hands.

Everything moving through me is so fucking quick.

“Eden is mine,” my voice emerges as a deeply angry shudder. “Don’t you ever question that in front of me or anyone else.”

Those eyes. Those goddamn eyes. I feel like this woman’s black eyes are too deep. Too black. But I can’t look away. Even if she pisses me off. Even if the anger flowing through my hands to her neck feels wrong. Like it’s not for her, but someone else… I can’t stop myself. My dick is too hard. The blood pulsing through me is far too hot with confusing feelings.

I could tighten my hand around her neck. I could end this fucked up struggle inside me. Who would come looking for her? Nobody. If she had somebody, she wouldn’t be here. But my hands loosen up. Zayna’s eyes never leave mine. Not for a second. I don’t know if that’s why I let go. But I do.

It’s the first time I ever stifled an urge like this. My face scrunches up. The anger that was pulsing right through me fades away. The suffocating heat burrowing its way beneath my skin disappears. She doesn’t stop looking. My hand drops away. Zayna’s face twists into a smile.

A real one.

There’s something wrong with this woman.

“Okay,” she says. “Eden is yours. I won’t question that.”

And she’s still smiling. Why the hell is this woman smiling when I could have choked the life out of her?