Chapter 23: Ruger

Chapter Twenty-Three

Ruger

M y dick is so goddamn hard throughout dinner that the pent up frustration inside me turns to anger. Pure rage. I keep it all away from Zayna, of course. But the closer I get to her, the more I feel my crazy side taking over. It won’t be enough for me to kill the three men who raped her. I want to kill her ex-boyfriend too.

I need him dead. Desperately.

I know from Zayna's teacher sense of morality, she won’t understand. But that’s just the way I love. I don’t want another man alive to have laid hands on my woman. Zayna eats her fish and vegetables with slow, polite bites. Watching her makes me self aware that I eat like an animal. Doesn’t really matter around bikers, but I want Zayna to feel like she can trust me. So I force myself to slow down.

That just makes the dick situation more painful. I can’t find a good position to sit in that doesn’t hurt. My balls only make the situation worse. I have never been more aware of them in my life and it is fucked up. Zayna just keeps eating. Slowly. Wrapping her sexy ass lips around the fork instead of my dick.

God. She’s hot.

I want to marry her. I know what Doc would tell me. Same thing he told me with Darlene.

“I think you need to slow down.”

I slowed down for sixteen days. I slowed down in the kitchen. I’ll slow down when I get my dick in her mouth first. But right now, this speed is fucking painful. I finish eating first, even if I do my best to slow down. Zeus stops begging me once I’m done eating and moves on to begging Zayna, who does a good job of ignoring him, despite temptation. She finishes up and looks up at me with concern on her face.

“Did you like it?”

“Yes. Are you kidding me? You’re a great cook.”

“Most nights you say something.”

“You know you’re a good cook. You’re eating the same thing.”

I’m distracted. Her lips. Her everything.

“Sorry, princess,” I tell her. “I will be sure to compliment your cooking every time.”

Zayna rolls her eyes. “I’m not desperate.”

“I didn’t think you were. I’ll do the dishes.”

“Since when?”

“Since you satisfied me with a delicious dinner.”

She seems suspicious, so I let her take her plate up to the sink. I point to a spot on the counter.

“You sit up there.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m washing up, but we’re not finished.”

She’s smiling when I look at her, which makes me smile right back. She shakes her head.

“You’re more patient than I expected.”

“Giving you time to get ready.”

Zayna laughs. “You are crazy.”

She doesn’t know how fucking crazy I can get. The only thing distracting me from ripping Zayna’s clothes off is the plan I have to form in my head on how to get away with murder. I have everything I need to pull it off right in my head. Army Ranger training. A few details about those men is all I need…

Zayna tells me stories about her time looking after Eden while I’m washing up. I can see it all on the baby monitor — and hear, but I like listening to her talk about Eden. I never gave much thought to Eden having a mother.

I didn’t have a mother’s presence in my life – just a woman who donated her egg to the cause – and I used to think I turned out fine but when I hear Zayna, I see something could be had from a woman’s touch. When she touches me… I feel something even stronger. I don’t want to let her go. Even watching her perched on the counter, I keep thinking of which spot I want to tattoo my name on. Property of Bucky… She might not want to know where or what I tattoo on her. Hm…

When I finish the dishes, I dry my hands on the kitchen towel.

Zayna taps her heels apprehensively against the cabinet doors as she perches on the edge of the counter. Uncertain. Perhaps a little terrified. I give her that look before I cross the room. She gives me a soft, gentle smile.

“You don’t want me to stay with you, by the way,” she says. “You might want it now, but you don’t know everything about me.”

“What? You’re gonna tell me some deep dark secret to push me away?”

She smells incredible. So good that I want to taste her again. We’ll have plenty of time for that…

“No,” she says.

But of course, that’s only because she wants something from me. Three heads on a platter. Doc would tell me I’m foolish to think that will make her fall in love with me. But I think it will. It’s the ex-boyfriend we’re gonna have a problem with.

“I want your lips around my dick,” I say to Zayna, moving between her legs so I can touch her thighs. They are warm. And so thick. My hands sink into her dark flesh and I want to squeeze her and pull her even closer to me. I’m scared to look away from her. Terrified to give her a chance at moving away from me.

“Okay,” she says. “But I’m not kneeling on the wood.”

“Bedroom has a rug.”

“I’m familiar with it,” Zayna says, most likely referring to the night I had my tongue between her legs. My dick throbs at the reminder of that beautiful night. Everything was perfect. She tasted so good. My heart pounds impatiently as I take her hand to help her hop down off the counter.

Her soft hands feel so little and perfect compared to mine. I felt a little bit of her touch when her hand cupped my dick. I want so much more. I lead her to the bedroom like she doesn’t know the way and only stop moving forward when we get to the doorway. I whirl her around into the room, press Zayna against my chest and kiss her once we cross the threshold.

No more waiting. I can’t handle it anymore. Zayna kisses me back hard. No lights in the bedroom and in the dark, I can tell she feels more free to be herself. Most people are like that. It’s why I’ve never been afraid of the dark. That’s when people are real with you. Real with themselves. I clutch at her clothing desperately, but Zayna stills my desperate grabbing by touching my crotch.

Yes. I’d much prefer getting my jeans off because I am downright desperate to feel her lips around my dick. Her attention shifts with mine. My dick throbs uncomfortably as Zayna removes my jeans. I help her with the rest. She can’t help but inhale sharply when she sees my dick fully hard, even if I’m sure she’s seen it before more than a few times. I’m at least semi-hard around her, especially since I ate her pussy. My life has been nothing but painful torture sleeping next to her sexy ass without touching.

Now I get to touch. I paw desperately for Zayna’s ass, barely certain of what I want, but knowing I want her. I need her. She moves closer to me and I groan loudly as Zayna surprises me by wrapping her hands around my dick… Holy shit. Pleasure shoots straight through me and I nearly cum on the spot.

Lucky me, my dick doesn’t explode in an instant. But my heart is racing and I have to use all my concentration not to burst. Her hand squeezes a little. So fucking hot. I bite down hard on my lower lip, almost drawing blood.

“Kneel, princess.”

Zayna slides her hand up my shaft. I feel her taking control from me and I need it back.

“Kneel,” I command again. My voice is so serious that she drops to her knees. Her act of obedience, no matter how reluctant, is nearly enough to make me cum again. I don’t know where I’ll find the power to withstand her mouth. Zayna’s light touch feels like heaven. I feel like nobody has ever touched my damn dick before.

Zayna looks up at me with her hand still wrapped around my dick. I can feel my face and ears turning bright red.

“That thing can’t fit in my mouth,” she says. I notice some real fear on her face then. My dick throbs. It’s basically a compliment, isn’t it?

“If you take your time.”

“Ruger. This is a matter of mathematics.”

I shrug. She knows I wasn’t good at school. If she’s a teacher, she must be able to tell. Zayna sighs and gently moves her hand over the length of my shaft. It’s almost painful. I want to cum so fucking badly, but not until I feel at least her mouth around my dick.

“Your dick is at least eleven inches. I have never seen anything like it.”

I don’t know what she means. She bends over and kisses the head of my dick like she’s kissing a puppy. She has to spread her mouth really wide, but she does and fits the head in. I am too fucking stunned to respond. Because this is like every dark fantasy I’ve ever had come true. Better than my dark fantasies because love makes sex so much better than hate, despite the fascination with “hate sex”. This is so much better. Her lips are so fucking wet. That’s almost better than how soft they are. She spreads her lips wider to fit more of my head and she’s already about to choke, but all I can think about is how good her mouth feels around my dick.

I groan and push my hips forward. Zayna presses her palms against my thighs in an effort to control the pace, but I can’t let her tease and torture me anymore. Her warm lips on my cock drives the goodness out of me. I grab her hair, feel the control transferring from Zayna’s lips to my hands as I take a firm grip of those curls and slowly move her lips off my shaft, giving her a second to breathe before I push as much of my cock as I can fit all the way in Zayna’s mouth.

I stop when the tip of my dick scrapes the back of her throat. Zayna gags and I pull out quickly so she can breathe and more importantly, trust me with this level of control.

“I need to use your mouth,” I growl, giving her as much warning as I can before I grab Zayna’s hair and fuck her mouth recklessly. She runs her tongue along the underside of my shaft, teasing me with her lips and tongue as much as she can while I pump furiously between those soft pillow lips.

My balls tighten after a few more deep thrusts into her mouth. She gets a little over half my dick in her mouth before she chokes and can’t breathe. I keep pushing her to take more, training her gag reflex, but if I keep going, I’ll cum long before I make progress on getting her lips ready to take a dick this big.

Before I can release inside her mouth, I pull Zayna’s head off my dick and let her kneel back, choking and gasping for breath. She looks up at me in desperate confusion as tears stream down her face. My cock is slick with her spit and red with desire.

“Clothes off. Bend over the bed.”

I can’t form longer sentences. Zayna is still gasping and coughing to dislodge spit from the back of her throat. I have no patience anymore. My animal desire courses through me along with a fear that rises the more I give myself to her.

Those other men who touched her are still alive. And I need them all dead. I need to fuck this woman hard. Tattoo my name on her skin. Then kill every last man who laid his hands on her. The urge is more powerful than any purpose I have ever felt. Stronger than the drive I felt to serve my country. It’s desperate. Dark. Desire unlike anything I’ve experienced. This woman scares me.

“Now,” I growl at her. Taking back what little control I have. Because Zayna… I don’t know how she did this. But I would do anything to keep her. Anything to make her happy. No matter how dark. No matter how cruel.