Chapter 40: QUIN

Forty

QUIN

I don't know why Tanner seems so different. He falls asleep on the couch seconds after we get home. I put Avery to bed and return to my room, not bothering to wake him up. He has his tongue hanging out and some beastly snoring going on, which is the most vulnerable I have ever seen Tanner look. I throw a blanket over him before I disappear to my room.

It's not that he seems different. He seems more… gentle. He barely kissed me before we left, but Avery demanded both our attention, so there wasn't exactly time for romance. At least we're back here. Back home… for now.

I know Tanner and I doubt we're going to stick around much longer but for now, this bed and this place feels safe. Soft footsteps against the cool stone floors in the hallway wake me up in the middle of the night. My eyes snap open. After everything I've been through, I can't sleep through even gentle and soft footsteps.

My body rolls out of bed instinctively and I reach for my phone – which isn't really a weapon, but I'm tired and operating on instinct here.

"It's me."

Who else could it be?

"Hey," I mutter groggily. My body relaxes as Tanner joins me, sitting at the edge of my bed. His presence brings me a lot of comfort after our long road trip and the gas station incident. He puts his arm over my shoulder and pulls me close so he can kiss my cheek. His lips are soft but his beard is all prickly and ticklish. I squirm a little, only making him kiss me again. And harder this time.

"You can't leave, sugar plum," he whispers. "I don't want you to leave."

"Who said I was going to leave?"

"I mean…" Tanner says. "I want you to be my girlfriend… then we have an engagement… then you become my wife…"

"Your wife?"

"Yeah," Tanner whispers. "Then I put a pretty little tattoo on the back of your neck… Property of Cash… "

Okay. That started off good but quickly became… scary. Tanner laughs when he sees the look on my face.

"I know you're not tatted yet but… it won't hurt."

"You think that's what I'm worried about?"

I might be worried about the pain too, but there are far more pressing issues than the tattoo needle that is currently nowhere physically near me.

"What are you worried about?" he whispers. "The ‘L' word?"

"The fact that you can't even say it should be a red flag to you."

We face each other and just… look.

"Come on," Tanner says. "It's obvious."

He takes a breath and my heart is about to sink with disappointment. No matter what he feels… it's not really the same if he can't say it out loud.

"I love you," Tanner finishes. "I love you more than I have ever loved a woman. And I want you to stay here with me… forever."

"Tanner–

He interrupts. "Not here. We're moving. But… wherever I am, I want you with me."

My eyes start watering before an answer comes out. He doesn't understand how much it means to me to have someone who would do anything to protect me. But I still have a secret I've kept from Tanner. One he might want to accept.

"I'm a murderer."

He laughs.

"Okay."

"That's it?"

"Sounds like you already got away with it," Tanner says. "I'm more concerned about… the other thing."

"What other thing?"

"That you haven't said ‘I love you' back…"

He grabs my cheeks and kisses me, defeating the point a little bit. But not by much. Kissing him feels better than talking. Better than fighting. Better than anything I have experienced in a long time. When we finally pull away, my heart is jumping in my chest like crazy and the words are ready to leap out of my mouth.

"I love you too," I say.

"Good," Tanner responds gruffly. "I love you too."

"Good," I answer back.

Our eyes meet again. Fire. Chemistry. Something brilliant, explosive, and worth waiting my whole life for. I don't stop myself from jumping on him. Tanner grunts in surprise a little but quickly adjusts, pulling my body over his thighs so I straddle him with my legs spread as wide as they can go. I might be full-figured, but I don't have much height, so it's easy for me to lose my balance in this position. At least it would be if Tanner didn't grip my ass cheeks and keep me positioned safely on top of him.

"When are we going to get married?" I ask.

Tanner laughs.

"What the hell is so funny?"

"I knew you were excited."

"Of course I'm excited. I told you… I love you."

"True," he says. "But I disappoint you sometimes. Like with Avery."

"You love her too," I whisper. "And you will do anything to protect her. That's all that matters."

The more caring Tanner acts, the harder it becomes for me to resist him. His hands are on my butt, which doesn't make resisting him any easier. He plays with my butt cheeks like he's trying to juggle them and follows up his extremely horny action with a question that threatens to lowkey kill the mood.

"Did you really kill someone?"

His pale, strawberry blond eyebrows pinch together seriously. We never talked about this before and talking about it scares the crap out of me. Even if I'm pressed against Tanner and I feel something much more immediately terrifying than my past pressed up against my thigh.

"Yes."

"Who?"

"That's the most important question?"

"No," he says. "But it's the question I have."

"My step-brother."

"I see," Tanner says, his grip on my ass getting tighter. This isn't the reaction I thought he would have. He gazes all over my face, but his emotions don't seem to change.

"So the club handled it?" He asks, his hands moving from my ass to my lower back.

"I asked Juliette for help."

"Perfect," he says. "Mind telling me what state you committed that felony in? I'll pick the furthest one away."

"So Hawaii or Alaska?"

Tanner wrinkles his nose. "Maybe I'm not so good with geography. Somewhere else… where I can ride to the clubhouse."

"You could technically ride from Alaska."

"It ain't in the middle of Russia or something?"

I make a private mental note to remain in control of Avery's education — and our future children. I might have to trick Tanner into sitting in on some of the classes too.

"We could move to California."

"No fucking way," he says. "After this, I need a break from club business. I want it to be just us… and Avery… and… any future kids we might have."

Just mentioning future kids makes his dick jump. I can feel the giant thing moving in his pants. His dick jumping at the word "kids" feels threatening, but Tanner hasn't hidden his intentions for a second. He wants to get me pregnant. Tanner has never hidden his bizarre motivations. He leans forward, pressing his nose into my neck and sending a ticklish jolt of pleasure straight through me.

He sticks his tongue out and presses it along the side of my neck.

"I could tattoo you right there," he growls. The spot of spit on my neck tingles from the cool air conditioning when he pulls away. The gush between my thighs completely defies the words that spill out of my mouth.

"I'm not letting you tattoo that crazy shit on my neck."

"Fine," he says, wrinkling his eyebrows. "I'll have an artist get it done."

He touches the wet spot and makes a big circle with his fingers. I'm guessing Tanner's delusional ass thinks that's where he's going to tattoo me? This man has lost his damn mind. I try to wriggle my neck away from him, but Tanner reacts with lightning speed. His hand fits firmly around my neck like a necklace. He doesn't squeeze, just holds me in place firmly.

He could squeeze. And he definitely wants me to know that. But for now, he's just holding me in place and demonstrating his power and control over me. Power and control that I give to him freely despite knowing he's a crazy ass redhead with a strong lust for plus-sized women and knocking them up. At least knocking me up…

One hand on my ass, the other hand on my neck. The dominant position gets Tanner rock hard.

"Are you going to fight me, sugar plum?"

I can't move my head, but I can still move my eyebrows. I can give Tanner the defiance he pretends to hate so damn much… I make the most disapproving facial expression I can.

"Yes."

"Okay," he says. "Give me something and I'll let you pick the spot."

"Is that your idea of compromise?" I ask him, fully skeptical that Tanner has any sanity left. Now that he has me in his clutches, he really thinks I'm going to go along with this tattoo. I still have Juliette on speed dial and her husband is letting her take flight lessons – on a simulator while she's pregnant.

"Yes," Tanner says, nodding mischievously. "No way in hell I'm letting my woman around those dogs without a tattoo."

"I'm a homebody. I'll gladly stay home."

Tanner smacks my ass with his free hand. Hard. I scream loudly and then his hand tightens around my throat just enough to turn the scream into a squeak. He relaxes his hand when I wriggle my butt desperately in an effort to escape his cruel combination of spanking me and squeezing my throat.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Showing you what could happen if you hang around a bunch of bikers without a mark."

"I already said I won't be around any bikers."

Wrong answer again. Are we going to be here all night?

"You're okay with another man touching your ass?" Tanner accuses, his grip on my ass tightening to the point of violence. At least his grasp on my throat remains tame… for now.

"When did I say that?"

A flicker of worry crosses his face. "I don't want you away from me for too long and if I have you close, I need you safe."

"This is not about my safety. This is about some hypermasculine bullshit."

"I'm not hyper," Tanner says. "I'm thinking this shit through."

His hand moves from my neck and he touches my collarbone.

"What about right there?"

"That's as close to my neck as you could possibly be."

"If you wear modest clothing, you could cover it up."

I roll my eyes. First of all, what type of backwards comment is that? Second, Tanner has seen my tits and ass. It would take a California King Bed top sheet with a hole cut out of the top to hide my figure and even then, I can't be sure that would work. I've never tried it.

"I don't have tattoos Tanner…"

"Damn it woman… I will either spank you or spoil you until you listen to me…"

"What woman in her right mind would pick a spanking."

Tanner laughs again.

"If you were in your right mind, you wouldn't be here," he says. "Let's both be honest."

Our lips press together again. My pussy gushes with desire. I want him so badly. All of him. The house. The baby… the future.

Maybe I can handle a little tattoo.

"What if it's small, " I tell Tanner. "I'll let you put it on my collar bone then."

His dick jumps again.

"Where do you want to get married?"

It's my turn to laugh at his goofy ass.

"That's all it takes?"

"Yes," he says. "I'll take you anywhere."

"Disney World. Orlando," I tell him. "That's where I want to get married."

"See? I knew you were crazy."

"What's crazy about Disney?"

"Not enough bikers."

"Shut up," I whisper, smacking his chest playfully before leaning over to kiss him. I'll never get tired of this man's lips.

"Fine," he whispers once I pull away reluctantly. "Disney. Whatever you want. I'll give you whatever you want as long as you take those clothes off baby…"

He's so hard that there's a spot of heat where his dick sits along the length of my thigh. I can feel the magical energy between us even before we take our clothes off. Tanner doesn't wait for me to get started on my clothes. He helps strip me naked and I pull away his shirt myself while he gets his pants and underwear off.

We both want each other so badly it hurts. Our bodies shudder with desire and everything between us is urgent and clumsy. It feels good to cling to Tanner's strong body after the hell I went through. I know it's not over for the club… but our love story feels like it's at that happily ever after point.

It doesn't mean your story is over.

"I love you forever, sugar plum," he whispers as he guides his dick to my entrance. "Forever…"

There's so much more to learn about the bodies in the desert, the Midnight SS biker gang, what Tanner left out in that Oklahoma trailer, Avery's mother, and the secrets we both have in our past.

But right now, it's just us in this bedroom making love and we're so in love that the rest of the world gets quiet. It's just the two of us — Tanner and Quin — joined forever.