Chapter 34: QUIN

Thirty-Four

QUIN

I should have never believed him when he said bringing Avery home was his "top priority". For 4 days, I have patiently waited for this man and his unending sex drive to leave and return with Avery – the baby girl I fell in love with.

It's not like I don't have feelings for Tanner.

It's just that this detour to Oklahoma makes me feel like… he's not being real with me. He's still the monster who would have thrown Avery to the desert coyotes if given half a chance. I start fussing around the kitchen for the coffee beans and it doesn't take long for me to realize that the arrogant redhead didn't even follow me.

He genuinely thinks my ass is going to bring him coffee in bed?

Hm…

But just as soon as the stubborn thought comes to me, a better thought comes in. Let him send me to Juliette.

The two of us will get Avery back.

Since when do I need Tanner Hollingsworth to handle my shit?

I'll make his ass some coffee. Pretend that I totally accept my fate. And once I'm in my bestfriend's Santa Fe penthouse… we'll begin creating a master plan.

When I return to the bedroom, I have a smile plastered on my face which Tanner easily matches. Men. They act all tough, but they will do just about anything to avoid conflict. Even matching my fake ass smile.

"Why you smiling, baby?" Tanner asks, reaching his greedy ass hands out for the coffee. He has sexy hands. Don't get me wrong. And sexy everything. He's just an asshole.

"I was just thinking… you're right. I should go to Juliette's. And appreciate how much you protect me."

Tanner sits up and sniffs his black coffee. I can't tell if he's enjoying the smell or checking for poison. Either way, he has no poison to worry about. Not today, at least.

With the cup in one hand, he pats the bed next to him.

"That's right," he says. "I'll do anything. And I promise… I won't be gone long."

"Don't let me rush you," I say, trying not to sound suspicious despite my guilty, racing heart. "You're right. I need to see Juliette."

I almost mention missing Avery, but bite my tongue. I don't want to put him on the trail. He tastes the coffee.

"Fuck, that's good," he says. "Remind me to keep you here forever…"

I nod and then whip my phone out. Tanner has his nose buried in the coffee when I shoot off a quick text to Juliette.

Quin: Tanner bringing me over soon. Villain mode.

She's my best friend. She'll know exactly what I mean…

Tanner is overly enthusiastic to get me on the back of his bike for the ride to Santa Fe. I try to convince him that I'm too big for a motorcycle, but he laughs his ass off and tells me that rednecks twice my size ride Harleys… If he didn't laugh like a hyena while trying to make me feel better, maybe it would have worked better.

What really causes me not to beg for him to rent a car is actually trying it. Tanner is annoyingly persuasive. Some might call it mildly threatening. I gear up and cling to him as we hit the highway, heading towards Santa Fe. I still can't believe he's going on some random ass mission while Avery is still in danger, but during the few instances I can put that out of my head… the ride is fun.

Like… it's more fun than anything I've ever done in my life. Even better because I don't have to be in control. Tanner knows exactly how to handle the bike and while I have my moments of pinching his sides like an angry grocery store lobster, I lose myself after a couple hours and just feel… free.

I didn't even know I was allowed to feel like this. I want to scream like people do on roller coasters, but with my mouth so close to Tanner's ear, I don't want to blow his eardrums out. I just grab him tightly and rest my head on his back, appreciating every moment of this.

When we get to Juliette's, his face is all red saying goodbye, and not just from the sun.

"I'm not going upstairs," he says. "I have to leave but… promise you're going to be a good girl for me?"

"Duh," I whisper. "I want you to come back so you can get Avery…"

Tanner flashes me a half smile and then he touches my cheek.

"I'm going to miss your ass," he says. "And the rest of you."

He kisses me on the sidewalk and the public display sends a thrill straight through me. Being with Tanner no longer feels totally new, but getting kissed in public is definitely new for me. I don't know how to react, so I freeze at first. He pulls away with a gentle chuckle.

"Come on, baby. Kiss me back."

He sounds so happy. So into me. I throw my arms around him and kiss him back. I like getting kissed in public. It feels good. Affirming. And his lips are soft. Tanner has always been a great kisser.

When he pulls away, I don't want to say goodbye. But we have to. His eyes get a little misty and then he throws his helmet on. I've never seen this man get misty eyed, so I just stare at him and watch him ride away.

Just when I think he has no feelings… he does this .

Tanner's sentiment makes it even harder to betray him. I just can't imagine leaving Avery alone any longer. Once I get upstairs, Juliette screams loudly and greets me. She seems so much happier now that she's a mom. Not only does it make me miss Avery even more, it makes me think crazy ass things about Tanner.

Like... having his baby.

It's not crazy as in "impossible". But are we the best people to bring a child into this world? Our relationship is... weird. A strange bond of mutual darkness. We don't need to share our secrets with each other because we share something else.

Juliette gets me her latest sweet treat from the fridge -- strawberry popsicles -- and gives me all her baby updates. Our friendship has only gotten better since we left high school.

"I'm sorry," she says, noticing my sad face. "I know you miss Avery. It's just... I'm obsessed with being a mom. I didn't think I would be."

I appreciate her sympathy. Avery isn't my 'real' daughter though, so maybe I have to pull it together.

I shrug. "You're fine. I just miss her."

"Hunter isn't here," she says. "The club business has gotten out of control. He's hardly here and it gets boring as fuck. I'm tired of going to Target."

"At least he lets you go to Target."

Juliette gives me another meaningful look.

"That's something else we need to talk about."

"What would that be?" I mutter, chewing on the popsicle stick and pretending to be extremely focused on the task.

"Tanner."

"Mr. Hollingsworth?"

"Quin. We're best friends. It's obvious. You have a crush on him. What the hell has been happening over there?"

"Nothing crazy."

Everything that has happened has been fucking crazy -- like a fever dream. But with a lot more sex than fever dreams normally have.

"Oh really?" she says. "Nothing crazy?"

"Nope."

"Hunter says Tanner is obsessed with plus-sized women."

"Juliette, ew."

My best friend is also plus-sized. I don't want to think about her husband warning her about Tanner or anything like that.

"That's not what I mean," Juliette says, rolling her eyes but not letting me get away scot-free. "I mean... He snatched you up here in the middle of the night. I don't believe nothing crazy happened after that."

"Why not?"

"Because the idiots in this motorcycle club are crazy. Pure unfiltered all-American crazy."

"Mr. Hollingsworth is just a boring guy who spends all day in his office," I mutter.

I don't even know why I'm suddenly clamming up like this. I guess I've never had a guy to talk about, so I don't know what to say. What types of things can you tell your best friend? I don't want to tell Juliette about my nipples. Or how Tanner's dick feels.

Is that even girl talk?

Juliette laughs. "Right. Hunter has a boring side too."

"Mr. Hollingsworth doesn't pay any attention to me or Avery. Seriously."

"You are such a liar," Juliette says.

"I am not."

"Why are you even lying?" she says. "There's nothing wrong with fucking your boss. Come on... It's not like he would let you sleep with anyone else."

Juliette has a mischievous glint in her eye that makes me want to shrivel up and die. I used to feel like there were two types of big girls -- cool and funny big girls and then awkward big girls. I was always the awkward one and I still don't get how Juliette can be so... relaxed.

"I didn't sleep with him," I say, doubling down on my lie, even if she's totally going to drag it out of me.

"Oh. My. God. Quin. Stop lying or I swear, I'll beat your ass."

"You can't beat my ass," I tease her. "You're a mom."

Juliette wriggles her eyebrows. "Exactly. My ass whooping genes have finally reached their peak."

"I don't care about Tanner, I just want to get Avery back."

"HA!" Juliette screams.

"What?"

"You called him Tanner."

"That's his name..."

"It's suspicious," she says, circling me like she's planning to salt me and put me on the grill.

I sigh and stick my hand out in an effort to get some personal space.

"You do not have to try to smell the lie on me."

"So you do smell like a lie," Juliette says, standing back and folding her arms.

I can't take it anymore.

"Okay, fine. I slept with Tanner. Happy?!"

"YES!" Juliette says. "YES!"

Okay... She's a little too excited.

"I told Hunter I would get you to confess. I won a hundred dollars... I won a hundred dollars..." Juliette starts shaking her ass like GloRilla, popping her booty all over me.

"You were betting on my sex life with your husband?"

"I'll give you half," Juliette says, looking back at it with her tongue out and continuing to remorselessly twerk on me.

I give her ass a hard smack which causes her to squeak and dart away from me.

"Sorry! I just knew when he kidnapped you that he was completely smitten."

"Ew, he was not smitten, Juliette..."

"Uh, yes he is. I know he is. Do you like him?"

"You don't even know what you're talking about."

"What? He's like the most responsible one in the entire club. And the richest. Don't tell Hunter I said that but... it's true."

"Who cares if he's rich?" I grumble. But I obviously noticed how luxurious Tanner's place in Arizona was. And that security system he has couldn't have been cheap either. He has several fancy cars at his house too and any time I've seen an invoice or important document in his office, the numbers always have a couple commas.

"You could become his old lady," Juliette says, shrugging. "Then you might care."

"What does that even mean."

"It's a biker thing where they tattoo you and all your problems go away... except all the gang problems."

I stare at Juliette like she has three heads, but she just keeps nodding at me like she's sharing common knowledge. I don't know any healthy relationship that starts with a tattoo and gang problems.

"Juliette, are you crazy?"

"Nope. I'm just realistic. Life could be so damn shitty, Quin. If Tanner wants to tattoo your ass and give you a baby... why not?"

"Because. I don't have Avery. It's not going to be the same without her."

"So you're admitting you slept with him?"

I try to smack her ass again but she squeals and finds herself on the other side of the counter before I can get an effective hit in.

"Okay, okay!" she says. "I'll help you get Avery back like I promised. But if you love Tanner..."

"Who said I love him?"

"Okay. Fine. If you eventually possibly fall in love with him... I support it."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," I grumble. Juliette might not be so positive about Tanner's crazy ass if she knew that he climbed in through my bedroom window to take my virginity in secret.

"He can't be that bad," Juliette says. "He would call Hunter like once a week to brag about how good you were with Avery."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I told Hunter that he was totally in love..."

"He's not."

"We'll see," Juliette says. "Now. Where is Avery and how do we get her."

"And what do you do with your kids? And your pregnancy?"

"Right," Juliette says. "Can't leave the kids behind... I'll handle that. Do you know who has Avery? The pregnancy isn't a problem."

Juliette is crazy. Pregnancy might be a problem – especially if something crazy happens and her husband decides we both need to die over it. I know he's crazy protective over her and I can't blame him. Juliette loves trouble. It's why I love her.

"Deborah Shaw. Tanner basically forced her to leave with Avery because his mom is going crazy and wants to do... something."

"Isn't his mom an old white lady? When was the last time an old white lady killed a baby?"

"That feels like something we shouldn't ask the internet in case the FBI is watching," I mutter.

Juliette sighs. "Fine. He's probably overreacting because that's what men do. We'll just go to Deborah Shaw's house."

"You know where that is?"

"Uh, yeah," Juliette says. "But we have to find a car that we can sneak off in and we have kind of a long drive on our hands..."

"Are we going to get caught?"

Juliette shrugs. "Not if I break every law on the way there."

"Okay. What about the kids?"

"I'll call someone," Juliette says. "Do you mind checking on them while I make those calls?"

I nod and then ask her about the car.

"I'll handle the car," she says. "Don't worry. It's been a long time since I've been on an adventure..."

I hope it won't be much of an "adventure" outside of maybe seeing a cool porcupine on the side of the road or something. I just want to get Avery and get back here.

Tanner would rain hell on me if anything happened to us and my ass isn't ready for that -- at all.