Chapter 4

4

EMMA

A fter class, and a few hours after my unexpected encounter with Luke, Sarah and I are studying for the exam tomorrow. We're sitting at a table in the library, and I'm trying to focus, I really am. But my mind keeps drifting back to last night. To the way Luke's lips had felt against mine and the heat of his body pressed against me.

I can't stop thinking about it. And the worst part is, I can't stop wanting more. I've never felt like this, and it's really throwing me through a loop.

I'm jolted out of my thoughts by the feeling of a hand on my shoulder. Startled, I look up to see Sarah staring down at me, a concerned look on her face.

"You okay?" she asks, her voice soft. "You've been staring off into space for the last few minutes."

I blush, embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming. "Sorry, I guess I'm just a little distracted."

Sarah arches an eyebrow. "I can see that. Anything you want to talk about?"

I hesitate. I know I can trust Sarah, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to share the details of my afternoon. Not that I think I can keep it a secret long, considering I let Luke make out with me right in front of my residence hall.

"It's nothing," I lie. "I'm just tired, that's all."

Sarah doesn't look convinced, but she lets it go.

"Well, we should probably take a break anyway. It's getting late, and we have that exam tomorrow morning."

I nod, grateful for the excuse to change the subject. I start packing up my things, but before I can head back to the dorm, Sarah grabs my arm.

"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy," she chastises with a grin. "What's going on with you? And don't try to tell me it's nothing because I know you better than that."

I sigh. I should have known I wouldn't be able to hide my feelings from Sarah for long. She can always read me like a book, and she's not about to let me off the hook now.

"Okay, okay. You got me." I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I'm about to confess. "It's about a guy."

"A guy?" Sarah repeats, her eyes widening in surprise. "The same guy from last night, right? Luke? I knew it!"

I can feel my cheeks heating up. "How did you know?"

"He's the first guy you've mentioned since Jason, Emma. It wasn't hard to put two and two together. How did you end up seeing him again so soon?"

"I ran into him on campus, and he offered to walk me home. Again." I reply. "Then, I sort of invited him to pick me up tomorrow."

I skip telling her about the heated kiss, but Sarah gives me a knowing look. "You mean on a date? Or maybe a romantic ride under the moonlight?"

Feeling my face turn red, I nod, and she laughs. I smile sheepishly. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Hey, I'm not judging," Sarah says, holding up her hands. "I think it's great that you're finally taking an interest in guys again. Plus, don't think that I didn't hear about your little kiss out in front of the dorms earlier. I've just been waiting for you to fess up."

I let my head fall onto the table in front of me, groaning. "Ugh, Sarah..."

"Remember, I have eyes everywhere." She wiggles her fingers in the air and laughs. "Come on. Let's go get some takeout and head home. Then we can plan your next move with your sexy biker."

Sarah's teasing makes me laugh, and I shake my head as we gather our things and head out of the library. It feels good to be laughing again, and I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, things are going to be okay.

As we walk across campus, Sarah links her arm with mine, and I lean into her. I'm lucky to have a friend like her, and I know she'll be there for me no matter what. The thought brings a pang of sadness as I remember Macy and the gap she left in my life. It's only over the past few years that I finally gave in and let Sarah get close to me, and I'm so glad I did. Even if sometimes I'm haunted by the terrible memories of my friend who moved away and disappeared.

My musings are cut short when a third person joins us, and Sarah immediately tenses beside me. We both stop, and I get a good look at who has decided to bother us—my ex, Jason.

"Hey, ladies," he drawls. "Nice evening, isn't it?"

"Go away, Jason." I sigh, pulling Sarah forward so we can continue on our way. "I have nothing to say to you."

Jason is persistent, though, and falls into step with us.

"Aw, come on, Emma," he pleads. "Don't be like that. I just want to talk, that's all. Haven't you missed me?"

"No, Jason. I haven't missed you. I've actually been really happy since we broke up."

"Is that so?" he asks, his tone dangerous. He keeps pace with us, but the concourse is too busy with other students for him to do anything stupid. "Maybe I can change your mind about that."

"Not a chance." I shoot him a narrowed glance. "Get the hell out of here or I'm going to scream for security."

"Or worse," Sarah adds in a sing-song, mocking tone. "Maybe the Iron Guardians are hanging around."

Jason scowls. "You act like I'm trying to hurt you or something. All I did was come to talk."

"Oh, just talk?" I let go of Sarah and wave my hands towards the setting sun. "It's nearly dark, and you know good and well how much I don't like to be out at night. So you waited until it's late enough that I would be uncomfortable and then approached me?"

"Manipulative," Sarah adds.

"Yeah, that," I agree. "Seriously, Jason. Leave. Me. Alone. We're done. There is no 'us' anymore. You need to accept that. If I find out that you're stalking me, I'm filing a restraining order."

For a moment, it looks like he's going to argue, but then he must think better of it and gives us one last dirty look. "Fine. Have it your way. But don't say I didn't give you a chance. I'm on to bigger and better things and here soon you're going to wish you gave me the time of day, Emma."

Before I can respond, Sarah and I watch him walk off, and I realize that I'm shaking.

"Hey." She wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Let's get back to the dorm, okay? You're safe now."

I nod, allowing her to lead me home.

We stay silent, but I can tell that Sarah is worried about me. I'm touched by her concern, but I'm not ready to talk about the encounter yet. My mind is still reeling from Jason's sudden appearance and the realization that he hasn't given up on trying to control me.

As we approach the dormitory, Sarah stops, her expression serious.

"Emma, promise me you'll be careful, okay? I know he's your ex, but Jason is obviously still obsessed with you. And if he's willing to confront you in public, there's no telling what he might do."

I swallow hard, the reality of the situation hitting me in full force.

"I will," I promise, hoping that I'm not making a mistake. "I'll be careful, Sarah. I promise."

We head up to our shared apartment together, and being inside calms my nerves a fair amount. Jason has never felt dangerous to me, just obsessive, but he's turned everything up a notch since the breakup.

I only saw him casually for the last two months, but he wanted more from the relationship than I was ready to give. More physically, if I'm being honest. When Jason kissed me, I felt nothing. Less than nothing, even. So when he tried to push me into sleeping with him, I decided enough was enough. He seemed charming and like a good time when we first met, but now … now I see the truth.

When I broke things off, so many of his lies started to come to light. Jason told me he was attending business school online, but it turned out he lied. He worked at his dad's car lot, which wouldn't have bothered me all that much, but the lying was too much. Then, when his ex messaged me on social media, I discovered that she didn't cheat on him like he told me. It was actually the other way around.

Jason was sleazy, pushy, and a liar. The icing on the cake was how as soon as we split up, he began to mock my fears of the dark and being out at night. Approaching me after the sun had gone down was definitely a manipulation tactic, just like Sarah said. Jason would never walk me home from class or go out after dark to get me something from the store. He didn't care about anything but my body. It makes me sick to think I ever gave him a chance.

After a hot shower, I get into my favorite pajamas, an oversized tee shirt, and some warm fuzzy pants, and head back out to the living area where Sarah is paying the delivery guy. The smell of it has my stomach grumbling, and I let thoughts of Jason fade into the background.

One exam, and then my date with Luke. I shouldn't let something as stupid as my ex get me down. Not when I have that to look forward to.

We eat and I head to bed at a semi-reasonable hour, the heavy meal helping me put all the complicated things on my mind to the side. At least for the time being.

I'm deeply asleep when the door to my room bursts open, and my pulse immediately kicks into overdrive, adrenaline flooding me. I might have devolved into a full-blown panic attack, but Sarah quickly flicks on my bedroom light, flooding the area with harsh white light.

"What–?" I sit up, squinting to look at the time on my phone. 1:11 AM. "Sarah, what is going on?"

"Hey." She's frantic, but she also just realizes what state her sudden entrance has put me in. "God, Emma, I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about how much I might scare you."

"It's fine," I lie. "What's wrong?"

Sarah paces the small area, wringing her hands. "I just got a call that my sister was in a car crash. She's alive, but my mom needs me to come home right now. I didn't want to leave without telling you what was going on, but I can't stay. I'm sorry, Emma. I know you don't like to be alone–"

"Don't be ridiculous!" I jump out of bed now, switching from fear to worry for my friend. "This is family. Let's get you packed and out of here."

Together, we make quick work of packing a suitcase, and I give her a tight hug goodbye. "Thank you," she says, eyes shining with tears. "I'm so sorry I have to run out like this."

I shake my head. "Don't be. Family comes first. Always. Just call or message me when you can so I know you're okay."

"I will. Promise."

Sarah rushes off with her suitcase, leaving me standing in the doorway of our apartment. It's empty and too quiet without her here, and I know I won't be able to fall back asleep. Not now. I wander back into my room, hesitating. I don't want to be alone. But what choice do I have? It all seems so surreal—just a few minutes ago, Sarah was right down the hallway and I felt safe. Now I'm alone, and combined with the incident with Jason earlier in the day, I just feel off.

I decide that a warm shower will calm my nerves and then I can curl up with a good book. Maybe it will even make me tired.

I start the water and begin to strip, tossing my pajamas into the laundry hamper and stepping under the hot stream. The water beats down onto my shoulders and scalp, relaxing muscles I didn't even know were tense. It's not until the hot water starts to run out that I finally get out, feeling a little better.

I have no idea how long Sarah will be gone, but hopefully, her sister will recover quickly and things will go back to normal. I towel dry my hair, leaving it loose down my back, and pull on a fresh set of pajamas, a matching tank top, and shorts in a pale pink color.

As I'm brushing out my damp hair, I hear a crackling noise and freeze, straining my ears. What in the world is that? Sarah wouldn't come back without telling me, would she? Heart pounding, I set the brush down slowly, creeping to the bedroom door and easing it open.

I poke my head into the hall, listening again. There are no more noises, and everything is just as I left it. No one can even get into the building without a campus key fob, let alone into our apartment. There's no reason for me to be so worried and worked up.

Still, though, I pad quietly to the front door and check that the deadbolt is locked. When I'm satisfied that nothing can get in, I turn back towards my bedroom. And that's when the light flickers.

I jump, letting out a squeak of fright, and look up at the ceiling. This place is old, and the electrical system isn't the best, but I've never had an issue like this before. The light flickers again, and then goes out completely.

"Shit," I mutter, closing my eyes for a second. My heart is racing again, but it's just an old light. Probably something faulty in the wiring, but I'm not about to wait around in the pitch black. It's not worth it.

I feel my way along the wall and back into my room. Keeping one hand on the wall, I navigate around my bed and fumble in the drawer of my nightstand for the flashlight I keep there.

Finally, my fingers close around the cold metal, and I bring it out, pressing the button to turn it on.

And nothing happens.

Shit.

Frantically, I press it over and over, but the light doesn't come on.

"No, no, no, come on," I mutter, smacking the flashlight against my palm. The last thing I need is for the batteries to be dead right now. "Come on, please."

I switch off the useless piece of plastic and throw it aside, sinking to the floor.

There's nothing to do but wait it out, so I try to calm my breathing and focus on the fact that it's probably just a glitch in the wiring, and I'll have the lights back soon enough. Leaning with my back against the bed, I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. It's just a waiting game. Just a stupid waiting game, and then the lights will be back on, I can sleep, and in no time, it will be morning. Safe, bright morning.

I almost have myself convinced when the fire alarm in the building starts to sound.