12. Olwydd

CHAPTER 12

OLWYDD

"She hates me." I lean my elbows on the bar and stare down into my stein as though the remaining Giir in it might offer some sage advice. Spoiler alert: it doesn't and neither did the three before it.

Ah, the cruel irony. One minute you're on top of the world, about to move in with the love of your life, and the next, you're drowning your sorrows in fermented fungus juice all alone and brokenhearted.

To top it off, my soulstone chooses this moment to sing. It sparks to life humming, glowing, and vibrating, hardening my cock as it picks up momentum. What the fuck?

"Great timing, buddy." I smack my groin, growling, "Shut up, you defective asshole."

I'm so caught up in my pity party that I only barely notice as Huw, our grizzled old bartender, rounds the bar and places a stepladder next to my stool.

"She fucking hates me," I lament to the bottom of my stein. "I fucked up and now she hates me."

"I don't hate you."

I swing around so fast I nearly topple off my stool. My eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. Bambi? Am I hallucinating?

No, she's here. My Bambi climbs the stepladder and slides onto the stool next to me. I stare speechless.

Her gaze darts to mine and then back down. She laughs nervously. "These barstools aren't exactly built for humans."

"You're here," I breathe, still not quite believing my eyes.

She nods, her expression contrite. "Yeah."

Say something you jackass. Now's your chance.

My words tumble out in a rush. "Bambi, beautiful. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you. I'll do anything."

Bambi sighs, her shoulders slumping slightly. "Do you even know why I'm upset?"

I open my mouth, then close it again. I don't know how to answer that. I could make up something, but what if I say the wrong thing? I could end up digging myself into a deeper hole. I've already screwed up royally once. Finally, I settle for honesty. "No... but if you tell me how to fix it, I will. What do I need to do?"

She sighs. "Just listen."

For the first time since she showed up beside to me like magic, I glance around the bar. The other patrons are quietly shuffling out, giving us privacy. Even Huw has mysteriously vanished. I turn back to Bambi, giving her my full attention. "I'm listening."

She takes a deep breath. "First, I need to apologize. I overreacted."

I want to protest, to tell her she has nothing to apologize for, but I bite my tongue. She asked me to listen, so that's what I'm going to do.

"Seeing all my trauma displayed like that on your computer... it was a huge trigger," she continues. "Obviously you know what was in the tabloids and on social media, what the media reported. But I want you to know I had no idea he was married or that he was playing me. I was unwillingly and unwittingly thrust into a negative spotlight all because I thought I cared for a man."

My heart aches for her. Does she think my opinion of her is lessened because of what that that bag of dicks put her through? If anything, I admire my brave girl even more. God, my heat aches for her and my arms long to hold her.

"Anyhow, I'm sorry for freaking out and storming off like that," Bambi says, her repentant voice barely above a whisper. "It wasn't right. I guess I'm still a little unstable, slow to trust, triggered sometimes by seemingly innocuous things. But I'll try not to fly off the handle like that next time I'm triggered, and..."

She pauses, taking a shaky breath and blowing it out slowly. "If you're still willing, I'm willing to give my all to this mate thing."

My heart soars. Did I just hear what I think I heard?

"Do you still want me to be your mate?" she asks, her voice small and vulnerable. "Even though I'm sometimes really stupid?"

"No," I blurt out.

Her face falls.

"I mean yes! Yes to being my mate. No to you being stupid. You're not stupid. Ever." I reach out, gently taking her hand in mine. "I read that file. I hate every one of those assholes who made you out to be the villain. If I could, I'd go up there and grind every one of those motherfuckers to dust."

To demonstrate, I smash my fist down on my stein again and again, grinding it to powder.

"Goddammit," Huw's voice echoes from the back, "Not a frickin' nuther one. You drunk assholes need to quit smashing my stuff."

Bambi laughs, the sound like music to my ears. She leans in and pulls me closer, peppering a gentle kiss on my lips. "Hey, I got an idea. What do you say you and I go back to your cave and have makeup sex?"

"No," I blurt out.

Her face falls.

"I mean yes! Yes to makeup sex. No to my cave. It's our cave now."