Chapter 15 Ben

Chapter 15

Ben

How was it possible to hurt this much without an actual physical injury?

There was a hollow ache in his chest that made it hard to breathe. He'd checked his blood pressure twice to make sure he wasn't having some sort of cardiac event. He never knew it was possible for the human heart to actually break, but here he was drinking at a bar, listening to the sad indie rock of his youth.

Granted, he was at his own kitchen bar, and he was drinking cold-pressed juice, but still…

Nope, it was sad, no matter how you sliced it.

Caroline wasn't answering his calls or his texts. In the old days, she would have at least told him to go fuck himself and then explained in graphic detail how and with what he could follow those directions. And she would have said it to his face. But this silence? It was unnerving. It was wrong. It told Ben exactly how badly he'd messed up.

He'd called in sick to the office for the first time in…he didn't know how long. He knew it was going to be a letdown to Dr. Toller, taking on all Ben's appointments for the day. But so much had happened and…he just didn't know how he'd messed things up so bad, so quickly.

The things he said, the stupid, horrible things he'd said. He didn't even know where they came from. He didn't realize those old feelings were still festering there, so close to the surface. But then he'd heard Caroline telling Mina to repeat their mistakes, acting as if it hadn't nearly destroyed them both. She'd spoken of avoiding Ben as if it hadn't hurt, as if she was doing him some sort of favor. As if that made it easier for him to leave her.

He thought he'd moved past it. He was wrong. And now, it was almost a day later and he hadn't heard from Caroline, and he was sinking back into that old feeling of having lost her. It was a familiar feeling that made acid rise into his throat.

He couldn't wallow in it. The kids needed him. He would need to keep this grief private. He would need to keep it together, even as the kids needed to interact with Caroline and the coven for guidance and safety and to keep Mina from becoming some sort of magical supervillain. He would need to…make Josh breakfast, because Bigfoot himself was lumbering into the kitchen.

Ben cleared his throat. "Morning."

Josh sat next to him at the kitchen bar. "So, you're a little mopey this morning."

"Your eyes are barely open," Ben noted. "And I'm fine."

"Dad, you're brooding like the lead in a '90s WB drama. All you need is artfully messy hair and a rain-splattered window to stare through."

Ben scoffed. "How do you know about WB dramas?"

"Streaming wars, Dad. Streaming wars." Josh crossed to the fridge and grabbed a bubbly water. He poured his dad a glass and slid it across the kitchen bar. "So, tell me your troubles."

It was possible his kids were spending too much time at the Rose.

"I don't want to drag you guys into my problems," Ben told him.

Josh snorted, sounding far too much like Caroline. "Well, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. And I once saw you try to order a pizza at that Burger Barn in Indiana."

"Their menu is confusing. And I was really tired, son."

Josh huffed, "Dad, we live with you. We know when you're having problems. And it actually scares us more when you try to hide them than when you just admit that it's happening."

When Ben could only stare at him, Josh rolled his eyes. "We knew when you and Mom were fighting. We know you tried to keep it away from us, and we appreciated it, but we heard, no matter how loud you turned up the TV. We knew you and Mom weren't OK. Some people just aren't meant to be married to each other. But knowing how hard you're trying to make a life for us, to make things easier on us, it makes up for a lot, Dad. We appreciate it. We appreciate you. And we know how weird it's been, how much life has changed since we got here. Your job. The house. Your daughter having secret ghost magic. Hell, your son getting to talk to ghosts as a friend of the coven is probably still pretty weird."

Ben snorted. "I'm sensing a ‘but' coming."

"But pull your head out of your ass," Josh told him. "And go fix what you messed up with Caroline."

The lack of even an ounce of sympathy or remorse had Ben sputtering. "Wha—?"

"Mina told me about Pastry-gate," Josh said. "For some reason, you adults seem to think we don't hear things or talk to each other. It was an unfair fight, Dad. What was the point of all that therapy if you aren't willing to apply it real life? You brought up old stuff without warning, like it was something you just talked about. You told Mina and me that's a crappy way to fight and outlawed it as part of the Dubstep-Screamo Conversational Conflict Decrees."

Ben snorted at the memory of hashing out appropriate strategies to handle disagreements over music choices during their road trip.

"You brought Caroline into our lives," Josh said. "Of course, she's going to have advice for us. Hell, there are few people around here more qualified to give us advice, living here her whole life, having magic. And if her advice to Mina hurt your feelings, well, get over it. It's not necessarily about you. Caroline is right. Mina is way too young to be settling her whole future right now, even if this boy is dreamy and noncreepy. You and Caroline were too young to plan your whole lives out when you left for school. You both had a lot of growing up to do. And if Caroline sounded a little too…vehement? Is ‘vehement' the right word?—forceful, emphatic, whatever other vocabulary list word that means ‘making her point too hard'—in her advice to Mina, well, that should tell you how much it hurt to give you up. If it poked at a bruise in you, you need to process that in a way that doesn't wreck your whole relationship, life, and ability to be a morning person."

It was a humbling thing, to realize your kids were smarter than you. Ben reached up and fluffed Josh's hair as his son leaned his head against Ben's shoulder. Josh had to lean down to do it, which was even more of a blow to Ben's ego, but he would process that later.

"It's not wrong to want something for yourself," Josh told him. "And if that happens to be Caroline, who is really cool and can tolerate you and your kids? And your kids like her? A lot? Well, that works out, doesn't it?"

"I don't know if things are that simple, Josh," Ben admitted.

"Dad, is it possible that you're just being an incredible doofus?"

"Anything is possible, son."

***

Ben wasn't proud of how long it took him to work up the nerve to leave the house. He'd been wrong. He wasn't too proud to admit that. But still, apologizing was going to be hard, even with the clear apology guidelines set forth in the Dubstep-Screamo Conversational Conflict Decrees.

He said goodbye to Josh and jogged down the stairs of Gray Fern. He stopped at the sidewalk between his gate and Riley's. He realized he didn't know where to look for Caroline. When they were kids, it would have been one place—the Rose. But now, she also could be at Shaddow House or her own house or Alice's shop or even Petra's bakery. He was happy for her, that she had so many options now, people to turn to—including his own children, whom he was starting to suspect would side with her in any future disputes.

That wasn't going to save him any time or shoe leather, as his father would have said.

Plover didn't answer the door, not that he would have been able to, Ben supposed. But the ghostly house father did stand behind the glass of the door and give Ben a silent, disapproving stare, which communicated all Plover needed to, Ben supposed. Searching the bakery, the cottage, and Alice's shop yielded similar nonresults. The Rose was locked up and everything inside was covered with drop cloths.

He didn't even see Cole inside, looking like the cover for a romance novel about a smoldering handyman werewolf.

Dick.

Calls to Gert, Alice, and Mina went unanswered. Finally, he had some luck, finding Riley and Alice outside of the courthouse-slash-police-department-slash-jail, talking to one of the locals, Dutch Hastings.

Maybe it wasn't luck. He knew the moment he saw the set of Riley's shoulders that something was wrong.

"I'm sure it's OK, Riley," Dutch was assuring her. "And you can't talk to Trooper Celia like that."

"I didn't call her names," Riley insisted. "I just reminded her that the first twenty-four hours after someone goes missing are the most important."

"And then you threw the F word at her," Alice reminded her gently.

"I did tell her to ‘fucking Google it,' which was rude," Riley admitted, scrubbing a hand over her face. "I lost my temper, and I will apologize. Look, Dutch, I'm worried. It's not like Caroline not to answer her phone. Her mom hasn't heard from her since yesterday, and there was a carton of ice cream melting on the counter in her cottage. Caroline Wilton does not waste ice cream, period."

"I don't know if that's enough to build a missing persons case on, sweetheart," Dutch told her.

"What do you mean, ‘missing'?" Ben barked.

Dutch jumped, turning to find Ben staring at him. He blushed under his salt-and-pepper scruff. "Ben, I'm sure that's not what's going on. You know Caroline's been at loose ends since the accident…"

Ben blanched. Alice looked panicked.

"No," Riley snapped. "Caroline wouldn't just disappear. She's not picking up her phone. She's not with Ben, or her parents, or her brothers."

"I'm sorry we didn't answer your calls, but we were inside talking to Celia. Riley's really worried, Ben. We can't feel her," Alice said quietly, glancing at Dutch. "Her…energy. It's like it's not on the island, and that's not good."

Dutch gave Riley an indulgent smile. "It's nice that you girls are so close. Caroline's gone a long time without good friends."

Edison jogged up the sidewalk to greet them. "Any word yet?"

Riley and Alice shook their heads. Edison put his arms around Riley. "It's going to be OK. No need to panic just yet."

"Oh, we are well past that," Alice told him, grimacing.

"Just give me a minute," Ben said. He opened his phone and texted Mina, asking her to dial Caroline's number. When Mina responded with a series of question marks, he added: She's not picking up for the rest of us, but she'll probably pick up for you.

A few minutes later, Mina texted back: No pickup. Should I worry?

Ben looked up to Riley. "No luck."

Riley shook her head. "If she's not picking up for the kids, she's not picking up for anybody."

"Oh no, now I feel bad taking up Celia's time with my stupid boat thing, especially when she's so busy with all the tourist nonsense going on this weekend," Dutch said, frowning. "It is a little weird that Caroline is MIA at the same time someone takes off with my boat," Dutch mused. He turned to Ben. "I just put it in the water for the summer and was heading over this morning to tune it up. Damned thing was missing."

A little line formed between Riley's eyebrows, something Ben had come to recognize as her "wheels turning" expression. "Does that happen a lot here? People stealing boats?"

"Not necessarily," Dutch said. "Sometimes it's just kids being stupid. Sometimes it's tourists being stupid. A lot of it is stupidity. I have a GPS tracker installed on it. Once Celia reports it to the mainlander police, they should be able to track it pretty easy."

"Really?" Riley marveled. "Can you tell when the boat was moved?"

"Oh, yeah," Dutch pulled out his cell phone and his reading glasses, perching them at the end of his nose while he peered down at the screen. He opened an app on his phone showing a map of Lake Huron. "It was part of the package when I bought it. Never thought I would have to use it. Says here, it moved last night around eleven o'clock, and it's stayed in the same place all day. Smart-ass kids left it near a campground, I bet. I just hope it's in one piece when Celia sends the state troopers out for it."

Ben watched as Dutch dragged his finger across the screen to an area across the lake, a state park known for picturesque but isolated campground sites.

"Thanks, Dutch," Riley said, standing on her tippy-toes and kissing his beard-roughened cheek. "Let me know if you hear anything from Caroline, OK?"

"Sure, Riley. Don't worry. It's not like she left the island," Dutch scoffed.

Suddenly, Ben was angry. As if there was no way Caroline could get hurt just because she was on the island. The whole island just took her for granted because she couldn't go anywhere. Why did they just accept that?

Riley's phone beeped with a text. She sighed in relief. "Caroline texted me."

"Oh, good," Dutch said, patting Riley's shoulder. "Well, I'm gonna go home and wait for my boat, like a runaway horse." Dutch ambled off.

Riley's expression darkened as she flipped through the screen on her phone. She turned the screen to Edison, Alice, and Ben. It was a photo of Caroline, her bound hands close to her face. She was bleeding from the back of her head. And she appeared to be unconscious, or at least, asleep.

The text accompanying it read: Do you miss me? If you ever want to see me again, pack up the locks and get ready to trade. Location to follow. Call the police, I'm dead. He will know. You're being watched right now. You have everything to lose, he doesn't.

"What the fuck?" Riley panted.

"Breathe," Alice told her, taking her hands. Meanwhile, Ben's knees seemed to crumple from under him. Edison caught his elbow and held him up.

Someone had taken Caroline. Someone had hit her over the head and tied her up and was threatening to kill her. How had this happened? After everything, he'd lost her. And the last words they'd said to each other were angry.

"We've got you," Edison murmured, even as his voice shook. "You're not alone. The girls are gonna fix this. OK? You're not going to lose Caroline."

Edison didn't sound sure of himself, but Ben appreciated that he was trying.

"Why didn't we feel her?" Riley demanded, glancing around at the tourists milling around them. "You've felt me panic before, when Edison tried to break up with me."

"Maybe she didn't have time," Alice whispered. "Maybe whoever has her knocked her out before she had a chance to be afraid and she's still unconscious."

"I don't know if that's a good thing or not," Riley replied.

"It's gotta be Clark," Edison said. "I walked past his office earlier and there was a sign on the door that said the firm was closed. Clark never closes the office."

"I don't know if that's proof," Alice said, frowning. "Who do you think he has watching us? Do you think we're dealing with a bunch of Welling heirs? People working for them? What if they've been watching us this whole time?"

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who has her. All that matters is that we get to Caroline as quickly as possible," Riley insisted. "And we have the advantage of knowing where she is."

"So do we call the cops?" Ben asked. "I think we should call the cops."

"No, somebody might be watching us," Alice said. "We don't want to give him a reason to hurt Caroline."

"The person who took her thinks we have to wait until he gives us the location," Riley said. "He's not counting on us showing up off-schedule. So we just have to find a way to get across the lake unnoticed."

"Across the lake?" Ben asked.

"Some place called Starfall Views Camp-Inn Resort," Riley said. "Dutch showed me on his phone."

"It sounds like something Clark would do," Edison said. "He knows we would never look for him at a campground. It's sort of brilliant, in terms of camouflage."

"Well, it's not like we can take the ferry," Riley said. "If we are being watched, everybody's going to notice us leaving together. And if Edison goes anywhere near it, it will be island-wide news."

"I'm willing to swim it," Ben growled. "This guy is dangerous, and we need to get to Caroline as quickly as we can. I won't have her hurt."

"I don't think we'll have to swim." Edison scraped a hand over the back of his neck. "I have an idea."