7. Lani

7

Lani

T enn and Olivia were already home when they got back. She parked behind his truck and opened the door to the warm smell of tempura coming from the kitchen.

He stood at the stove with his back to her, battering and frying vegetables. Olivia was at the kitchen table, carefully slicing cucumbers.

"Rory!" she said when she saw them. "Look! I'm making sunomono!"

Tenn turned to them with a grin. "Good, you're home. Lunch is almost ready."

"It smells amazing," she told him, though her stomach twisted in ways that had nothing to do with the good smells filling the kitchen.

She had to tell him. And soon, as soon as they had a moment alone. Maybe after lunch she could put a movie on for the girls and–

"Mom?" Olivia's tone was hesitant, like it usually was when trying out her new name for Lani. It was like she wasn't quite sure of her. Lani could hardly blame her for that. The familial names still felt like too much too soon, but she hadn't had the heart to say no when the girls had asked.

"Yeah?" Lani walked towards the kitchen table and stopped just short of it, resting her hands on the back of one of the chairs.

"Do you like sunomono?"

She smiled at the easy question. "Sure do."

"Good." Olivia grinned and went back to slicing. She was only seven years old, but she was a chef's daughter through and through. Tenn had been including her in food prep since before she could stand.

"Guess what!" Rory burst out, hopping onto the chair across from Olivia.

"What?" She was only half paying attention, her eyes on her work.

"I met my Babbo today!"

Olivia put her knife down and frowned, tiny nose scrunched in confusion. "Your what?"

Lani froze in horror. She had half a mind to scoop Rory up and bolt before she could say anything else, but her feet felt rooted to the floor.

"He's my first dad but I never met him a-cause my mom forgot his name and so she never founded him, but now she knows his name except he says that I can call him Babbo because that's what he calls his dad!"

Dread solidified in her stomach as she turned to look at Tenn. Fresh guilt poured in at the look on his face, confusion slowly giving way to hurt and fear.

She should have told him yesterday. She had tried, but she hadn't been able to find the words, had selfishly hoped that Lorenzo would disappear.

She'd been scared.

"Now I have two dads!" Rory continued. "Well, I kind of have three, but one's in jail."

If her muscles hadn't turned to lead, Lani might have laughed at the absurdity of it all.

Tenn cursed under his breath and turned back to the stove, where the last batch of tempura was burning and smoking. He turned the oil off and strode out of the kitchen.

"Stay away from the stove," he snapped at the girls as he passed.

"I know!" Olivia snapped back, mirroring his tone. Lani just looked at him in surprise; she had never heard him speak harshly to the girls before.

It was a solid minute before Lani could force her feet to move and her voice to work.

"Hey Livie, how about we finish the sunomono a bit later? Are you two hungry for tempura?"

"I'm starving to death!" Rory shouted.

"I'm hungry too," Olivia admitted, though she glanced worriedly at the doorway like she wanted to go find Tenn.

"I'll make you plates, and then I need to go talk to your dad."

She collected two piles from the first batch of tempura, which had already cooled, and added two small dishes of the girls' favorite dipping sauce. Then she left them with their food and cold glasses of māmaki tea, and she went to find Tenn.

He was just past the front door, standing halfway down the steps like he couldn't decide whether he wanted to stay or go. His hands were deep in his pockets, his shoulders slumped. Lani thought of the scars beneath his shirt, so familiar to her now, and remorse twisted in her gut like a knife.

"I'm sorry," she said to his back.

When he turned to her, there was no anger in his eyes, just hurt and bewilderment… which was even worse.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I don't know." She took a step closer, but he pulled back.

It was just a small shift, but he had never pulled away from her before. The pain of it made her breath catch in her chest.

"I think I was in denial?" She struggled to put her overwhelm into words. "He just showed up out of nowhere. At the shave ice place, like Zeke–"

Tenn flinched at the mention of her ex-husband. "Did he threaten you?"

"No! No, it's not like that. He seems nice, I guess. It was just so much to process, and so soon after Zeke. I went into such a panic, I wanted to run away screaming. Wanted to grab Rory and run. But I made myself stop and listen to him. He seems like a decent guy."

Tenn's face had softened as she spoke, but now a wall went up behind his eyes.

"I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you." She stumbled over her words, trying to find the right combination of sounds that would erase that horrible, distant look from his eyes. "I was going to say something today, but then Rory blurted it all out. I should have known better. I was just in shock, I think? I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm still processing."

"You should have told me," he said quietly. "I would have gone with you."

"I'm not sure that would have been a good idea."

Something flashed behind his eyes. "Why?"

"I'm still getting to know him. It's complicated enough without… extra people."

"Extra people," he repeated, incredulous. "So you just took Rory there alone? Did you tell anyone where you were going?"

She felt her face pale as she shook her head. "It was a public park…"

"I don't care! I don't want you alone with him!"

"It's not like that. I'm not interested in the guy."

Tenn's jaw dropped. "You think that's what I'm worried about?"

"I don't know, I–"

"Lani, the last time one of your exes showed up, it was with a gun."

It was her turn to flinch.

"You know nothing about this guy, and you still took Rory there alone ? I don't get it."

"He's not dangerous–"

"You don't know that!"

"—and even if he were, why should I put you in danger too?"

"Why?" he demanded, stomping up the steps. He stopped just inches away from her, peering down into her eyes. "Because that's what I'm here for."

"Olivia needs you. It guts me that she almost lost you because of me. I would never put you in danger like that again."

Without breaking eye contact, he took her hands in his. "I would take a bullet for any of you. Any number of times."

"You shouldn't have to!" She broke away with a growl of frustration. "And this whole conversation is stupid! Lorenzo isn't dangerous."

"So it's Lorenzo now?"

"You are jealous! That's what this is about."

"I'm not–" He cut himself off and ran a hand over his face. "Maybe a little. I mean, look at you. Tell me he's not interested in you."

Lani opened her mouth and closed it again. She couldn't lie.

But he wasn't interested in her, not really. Just the fantasy of a family.

Right?

"But that's not what this is about," Tenn continued. His shoulders slumped, and his hands returned to his pockets. "I thought that we were a family."

"We are a family," she protested.

"Right now it doesn't feel like it. How could you take Rory to meet this guy without even talking to me about it?"

"It all happened so fast."

"No. Not so fast. He didn't just show up today, did he?"

"No," she admitted.

"So you made plans with him, and you didn't even tell me."

"I was still processing."

"Yeah, you said." Anger flashed through his eyes as she repeated that lame excuse. "You didn't want to talk to me? Process with me? Don't I get a say?"

A sudden, savage protective instinct roared to life inside of her chest. "Rory is my daughter."

He froze.

Lani felt instant remorse, but beneath it there was still a hot ball of anger.

Rory was hers .

Her baby. Her priority. Always.

"So that's how it is," Tenn said quietly. All the fight had gone out of him. He went back inside, and the screen door swung shut behind him.

Lani stood frozen for just a moment before following him inside. She wanted desperately to make things right, but she didn't know how.

"Are you done with lunch?" he asked Olivia.

"Yeah, I'm done."

"Okay, let's get in the truck."

"Where are we going?"

"Up to the cafe."

"But you didn't eat anything."

He smiled in a hollow way and patted his daughter's golden hair. "I'll get food there."

She slid off of her chair, looking worried. "Okay."

"Tenn," Lani interjected, trying to find the words that would hold him there. If they could just talk about this, put a movie on for the girls and hash it out like she had wanted – but he just shook his head without looking at her, his mouth set in a fine line.

"Can I come?" Rory asked.

Tenn's expression softened when he looked at her, but his eyes were full of pain. "Not today."

He walked out the door without looking back. Olivia followed, glancing back at Lani with a worried look in her blue eyes. Knowing that she was causing turmoil for Olivia, Lani's guilt doubled.

Maybe the whole thing had been too quick, moving in with him the minute the ink was dry on her divorce papers. They had told themselves it would mean more stability for the kids, but maybe it had done the opposite. She didn't know anymore.

Rory looked after them, puzzled but too young to be truly bothered. She looked up at Lani and asked, "Can I have more tempura?"

Lani smiled at her daughter. It was genuine, even if there was sadness underneath.

So long as Rory was okay, Lani would survive.

"Sure, baby. I'll get you some more."