6. Emma

6

Emma

J uniper was silent as they coasted along the highway, over the golden hills that lay above Kona.

Emma had invited her to choose the music, and they’d ended up with an autotuned mess that grated on her nerves, but she would put up with just about anything if it helped Jun feel better.

The seventeen year old had been half comatose since hearing the news about her mom. Instead of going to work or spending the weekend camping with Tara’s family like she’d planned, she’d retreated to her tower room and slept for days.

Juniper wasn’t lazy by any stretch of the imagination; she was always going, always working and playing with the kids and sketching out plans for her next business idea. So for her to retreat this fully, to sleep and sleep and barely come downstairs for the occasional meal before retreating again…

Emma was gutted for her, but she wasn’t overly worried. Juniper’s body was shutting down to deal with the shock, and Emma knew exactly what that felt like. As long as this phase didn’t stretch on and on – and Emma had definitely stayed in the near-comatose stage of mourning longer than she should have – there was no harm in retreating for a while to process her grief.

And if she wanted to listen to terrible music on the drive to Kona, well… Emma would put up with that too. And gladly. At least Jun was out of her room.

The sun was blazing over Kona, and she cranked the AC higher as they drove down into the flat expanse of black lava rock that made up the island’s western coastline.

Ethan had called with less than twenty-four hours’ notice to tell her that he’d booked a flight and would be landing in Kona the next day. He’d made a half-hearted offer to rent a car and stay in a hotel, but of course Emma wouldn’t consider it.

Juniper hadn’t taken the news well. She had shut down completely and gone to bed before seven. But the next morning, when Emma got up at dawn to drive across the island, Juniper was waiting for her in the kitchen with two travel mugs full of chai.

Emma understood her brother’s desperation.

Mourning Adam in the house that they’d shared had nearly killed her.

In California, Ethan had to face reminders of his life with Laurel everywhere he looked. There was no outrunning grief, but sometimes the weight of it felt less crushing in a new place – especially a place as beautiful as Hawai‘i.

Nell had been kind enough to watch Kai again so that Emma didn’t have to drag him across the island and back. Usually when she picked someone up from the airport, they would make a day of it, hit up the beaches and stock up on food at Costco. This time, though, she just planned to pick her brother up and head home. It was already a rough travel day for her little nephew without adding hours of sun and sand and shopping.

“We’re running early,” she told Juniper as they coasted past the airport. “Let’s pick up some lunch for everybody.”

“Sounds good.”

Emma took Jun to her favorite burger joint on the island. The buns were baked fresh every day, and everything inside of them was island grown. Juniper was unenthused, but her first bite seemed to revive her.

“So ono!” she exclaimed. “California drive throughs have got nothing on this.”

“Good, right?”

“Best burger ever.” Her eyes went to the screen mounted on the wall, which showed pro surfers in Portugal, tiny dots shredding the front of sixty-foot waves.

They lapsed into silence, but it felt easier now, less weighted with things left unsaid. Emma was learning that keeping her teenage niece fed was the best way to help her cope with her grief. A missed meal was enough to pull her under.

When they pulled up to the airport, Ethan was waiting out front with baby Teddy and one giant duffel bag. Emma parked in the loading zone and jumped out to greet her brother. He went for Juniper first, pulling his daughter into a one-armed hug. She extricated herself by pulling her baby brother into her arms and lavishing him with attention.

As soon as Emma put her arms around her twin brother, his chest started to shake with silent sobs. She held him tighter, and he clung to her like a drowning man.

After a couple of minutes, the car behind them started to honk.

“We should go.” Emma patted her brother’s back and dropped her arms.

“Right.” Ethan straightened, glanced at his kids, and cursed under his breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“I forgot Teddy’s car seat.” He scrubbed the tears from his face with the sleeve of his plaid shirt, which looked way too heavy for a summer day in Kona. “I put it in Mom’s car for the drive to the airport but I forgot to get it out. He didn’t have his own seat on the plane and I completely–”

“It’s okay,” Emma interrupted. “I have one.”

Ethan bent double and looked through the back window of her car. “You just assumed I would forget a car seat for my own kid?”

“Didn’t you?” Juniper muttered.

He gave her a sharp look. Before he could say anything, Emma put a hand on his arm.

“I have a mom and two kids living in the ‘ohana unit, remember? She doesn’t have a car, so we share. There’s always a seat in my car. Her baby’s bigger than Teddy, but we can adjust the straps and lean the seat back a bit.”

She went into the back seat and made the necessary adjustments while Juniper rocked the baby. The impatient driver behind them honked again, and Ethan stared him down.

“Okay Jun,” Emma said, “put Teddy in so I can get the straps right.”

Juniper sat in the back seat with her brother and clipped him in as Emma slid back into the driver’s seat. Ethan got in next to her, every muscle in his body tight with misery. She felt heartbroken for him and annoyed by him at the same time, like she wanted to hug him and slap him upside the head. Typical sibling stuff.

“Has Teddy eaten?” she asked as she put the car in Drive.

“I gave him a bottle on the plane just before we landed.”

“Okay, good. So we can drive straight home, maybe stop halfway if he needs a diaper change or anything. We have a burger for you.”

Juniper passed the bag up from the back seat, and Ethan accepted it with a mumbled thank you . Emma’s anxiety eased slightly as she turned onto the highway.

The car was quiet as Ethan devoured the burger.

Behind him, Juniper cooed at her baby brother.

“Thanks for picking us up,” he said after he’d eaten.

“No problem.”

“My buddy Rick is driving my truck up to Oakland for me to get it shipped down. It should be here in a couple weeks.”

Emma waited a beat, trying to ensure that her voice was calm and kind when she responded, “You’re shipping your truck?”

“Yeah. I can rent a car in the meantime if you want, or I can just walk. You live pretty close to town, right?”

“Right.”

“How long are you staying?” Juniper asked.

“I don’t know yet,” her dad said. “You and Em got a fresh start here. Maybe that’s what I need too.”

Juniper went silent. Her eyes, full of apprehension, met Emma’s in the rearview mirror.

“Liz put the house online for me,” Ethan continued, “on vacation rental sites. She’ll do the work of flipping it between guests, and we’ll split the money.”

“What about your business?” Emma asked.

“I couldn’t run a project right now if I tried.” His voice was gruff. “I’ve got good guys looking after everything. They can keep everything going without me looking over their shoulders.”

“So you’re staying here for good?” Juniper asked.

She didn’t sound thrilled, and Emma felt a surge of empathy from her brother. Aside from his unwavering loyalty to Laurel and the unintentional damage that had inflicted, he had always been an amazing dad: loving, present, devoted. While she couldn’t really fault Jun for her attitude – she was young, and she was grieving – it wasn’t exactly fair to Ethan.

“I don’t know yet,” he grated. “It’s one day at a time right now, okay?”

“Okay.” Jun turned her attention back to Teddy, who was starting to fuss.

“We had talked about moving out here,” he said quietly. “Remember? Laurel and me.”

“Yeah,” Emma murmured.

“I’m not gonna do anything stupid. No big decisions yet. I just had to get away for a minute, you know? Clear my head.”

“Makes sense.”

“I’ll see if I can find a short-term rental in the neighborhood. I won’t be underfoot for too long.”

“You can stay as long as you need.”

He shook his head. “No. Thanks, but no. I’ll find something. I just wanted to be close to Jun, you know? Not an ocean away. And I needed to clear my head. Change of scenery. Keep my head above water. I’ve got two kids to take care of. Gotta keep my head above water.”

It wasn’t like him to ramble or repeat himself.

He was drowning, and Emma’s heart ached for him.

“I hope this helps,” she said.

“Yeah.” His voice was barely audible. “Me too.”