25. Emma

25

Emma

“ S hoes on, kiddo. Uncle Ethan’s here!”

Kai crossed his arms and stomped one bare foot on the floor. “I hate shoes.”

“That’s what you said last time we went adventuring, but remember how glad you were to have them when the parking lot was burning hot?”

“But I don’t have to wear them in the car!”

“No, you don’t. It’s just easier to remember them if they’re already on your feet. Here, put them in my backpack.”

“Thank you!”

Kai’s closed-toed sandals were as good as new. Aside from crossing the occasional frying-pan parking lot, he never wore them. After nearly a year in Hawaii, his feet were so tough that he could run across lava rock and gravel with no pain.

Fern was in the front seat, so Emma and Kai climbed in back to sit on either side of baby Theodore.

“Teddy doesn’t have any shoes!” Kai reported.

“Your cousin can’t walk yet,” Emma replied.

“Still?” he scoffed. Then he leaned over the car seat and said in a completely different, saccharine tone, “He’s just a little baby.”

“Yep. Now stop squishing his cheeks.”

“But he likes it!”

Teddy giggled as if on cue, so Emma let them be.

Up front, Fern guided Ethan across the highway and up a dirt road. They dropped a pin for Juniper, who was getting a ride to meet them after work, and Ethan changed the baby into a fresh diaper on the tailgate of his truck.

Emma stretched as they stood on the side of the quiet road. Kai kicked dirt clods around. Fern sat Teddy up on the tailgate and held his hands to stabilize him, talking to him and making him laugh.

Finally, Cody drove up the road in his old gray Honda and parked behind the truck.

“Sorry we’re late,” he said as he unfolded himself from the little car. He was a lanky seventeen year old. Ethan was tall, but Cody had at least a couple of inches on him. “There was an accident on the highway, so we got stuck for a while.”

“He got off at the first exit he could and took the back roads,” Juniper added. She greeted her dad with a one-armed hug and then bent to kiss her baby brother on the cheek.

“We weren’t waiting too long,” Fern told them. She helped Ethan load Teddy into his oversized hiking pack and then led them to a trail that was barely visible from the road.

“Everybody ready?” Juniper asked, grinning at Kai. She was wearing running shorts and a big t-shirt that had probably been Cody’s at one point. When she slipped her hand into his, Ethan’s eyes narrowed.

He looked like he was about to say something, but his whole body relaxed when Fern touched his arm, and he let it go.

“Ready?” she asked.

He nodded, eyes on hers.

“Let’s go!” She led the way into the jungle with Ethan right behind her. Cody and Juniper went next, and then Kai.

Emma took up the rear. She felt a bit like the fifth wheel, even though her son and nephew were along for the ride.

The feeling faded as she turned her attention outward, admiring the bright tropical flowers that flourished here and there against a backdrop of endless green. Her legs burned with the steady upward tilt of the trail, and soon the exertion of the climb overtook everything else.

They had been hiking for an hour already when they came to a rise with a view over the forest. The distant rooftops and massive monkeypod trees on the edge of town triggered something deep in Emma’s mind, and she was blindsided by a sudden flash of memory. It was so strong and clear that she could feel Adam’s arm around her waist and hear his laughter as clearly as if he really stood there beside her.

Everyone else had stopped to admire the view – and catch their breath – so they didn’t notice when she froze to stare out at the familiar vista.

“I’ve been here before,” she said.

“Have you?” Ethan was panting from the exertion of hiking with Teddy on his back.

“Years ago, with Adam.”

He nodded solemnly and looked out towards the ocean, just a thin line in the distance.

“My mom and I used to come with local friends when I was a kid,” Fern said. “It took me forever to find it again. I came back with a machete and cleared out parts of the trail that were completely overgrown.”

“Very cool,” Juniper said.

“It’s new to me,” Cody put in. “I can’t remember the last time I hiked a trail I’ve never seen before. It might be the biggest island, but it starts to feel small after a while.”

“There’s always more to explore,” Jun told him.

“Onward?” Fern looked to Ethan, who was still catching his breath.

He nodded. “Let’s go.”

Dense tropical plants gave way to ferns and ?ōhi?a as they hiked up the narrow trail. Kai was a trooper, keeping pace long after Emma was fighting to catch her breath.

Finally, she caught sight of a waterfall in the distance. It was tall and thin, a silver streak of spray against the green jungle and black cliffs. She lost sight of it after the trail dipped, but she could hear the sound of crashing water as they got closer.

“Aloha.” A familiar voice up the trail made her stumble. “You go ahead.”

Her family continued on with Emma still bringing up the rear.

“Hey Keith!” Jun chirped.

“Juniper! Headed to the waterfall?”

“Yep!”

“Have fun.”

“Mahalo!”

Kai hiked past the stranger without glancing away from the trail; he was determined to keep up with Jun and Cody.

When Emma looked up, Keith’s eyes were on her. Self-conscious, she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Her hair was a frizzy mess, mostly pulled into a bun, and sweat dripped down the side of her face. She wiped at it with her shoulder. As usual, she was wearing an oversized t-shirt that had once belonged to Adam.

“Good to see you.” Keith’s voice was quiet, almost camouflaged against the rush of the waterfall in the background.

“You too.” The words were reflexive, and Emma was surprised to realize just how much she meant it. His summer-blue eyes and warm smile provoked an unexpected rush of feeling in her chest. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed seeing him every week.

“Family hike?”

“Yeah. You?” She glanced around, but there was no one else. Just Keith standing off in the weeds, making room for their group to pass.

“I’ve been foraging.” He shrugged off his backpack and opened it up to reveal a bag of mushrooms.

“Very cool,” Emma said, feeling very lame. Why had her words completely deserted her?

His smile faltered. “Well, I’ll let you catch up.”

She glanced ahead and realized that her family had disappeared around the bend.

“Take care.” Keith tried to move past her, but she reached out reflexively and put a hand on his shoulder. A spark of attraction, sharp and shocking, moved up her arm. Even then, she didn’t drop her hand.

He looked at her with a question in his eyes.

“I miss seeing you every week.” There. She’d admitted it.

His smile came back at full power. “Ditto.”

“Can we be friends?”

“Sure.” His smile dimmed, but only a little.

She let her hand drop, and her fingers brushed his arm in passing.

“I’m sorry if I pushed too hard before,” he told her. “We can be whatever you need us to be. I’ve missed you.”

There was a moment of tension, a moment when he seemed to be drawing closer, and then a shout from Kai startled her into taking a step back.

“Mom!” he came sprinting around the corner and down the trail, unfazed by the long hike that had drained everyone else. “I found you! Did you get lost?”

“You found me!” She put her arms around him when he barreled into her. Up the trail, Juniper gave her a shrug and an apologetic grimace.

“Everyone else is at the waterfall!” Kai said.

“Okay.” She met Keith’s eyes and smiled. “I’ll call you.”

“I’ll be around.” He walked backwards for a few steps, looking at her, then turned around and hiked down the trail.

“Come on ,” Kai groaned, pulling her hand. “We’re gonna go swimming.”

“Okay, okay, I’m coming.”

When they reached the pool at the base of the waterfall, everyone else was already in the water. Cody crossed the pool in long strokes and started up the cliff with Juniper right behind. Fern stood waist-deep in the calm shallows and lifted Teddy up and down, dipping his toes in and out of the icy water while Ethan watched them in adoration.

It was a shock, seeing her twin fall for anyone. They had each been paired off since they were teenagers. She had Adam, and Ethan had Laurel.

Until they didn’t.

Her brother had loved his wife every bit as much as Emma had loved Adam. If anything, his loyalty to his wife had surpassed anything that Emma was capable of.

If she had fallen in love with someone who then became an addict, she never could have stayed with them through relapse after relapse.

Ethan had. And he would have kept right on standing by his wife, for better or for worse.

To see him find someone again so quickly was as shocking as diving into the icy water that ran down from the mountain. She found it hard to understand… and hard to approve of, even though the logical part of her mind knew that she had no business judging her brother’s choices.

After the initial shock, though… she found herself quickly getting used to the idea.

She had liked Fern before Ethan had ever met her. Heck, she had introduced them. This wasn’t what she’d had in mind, but the joy she saw on all three faces as the budding family stood together in the shallows outshone any doubts she might have had.

Somehow, Ethan had found something real and true, even in the midst of his grief.

He had found a way to let someone in.

Maybe someday, she would be able to do the same.

“Are you coming or what?” Kai shouted.

He was shuffling slowly into the pond, cautious of slippery rocks. His arms went up at a comical angle as he got deeper, still trying to keep them up above the cold water.

Emma kicked off her shoes and walked up onto a sunwarmed rock above the deep end of the pool. She looked at Kai, took a deep breath, and dived right in.

The water was shockingly cold – but before she even surfaced, she started to get used to it. She swam across the pool and burst up from the water next to Kai, who laughed and shrieked and fell into the water. She scooped him into her arms and stood, heart soaring at the sound of his laughter. He clung to her as they watched Juniper and Cody jump hand in hand from the cliff.

“Can we do that?” he asked, awe-struck.

“If you want to.”

“Only if you hold my hand.”

“Deal. Let’s go.”

She kept pace with Kai as he swam across the pool, giving Juniper a high-five in passing.

Maybe someday she would let romance into her life again. The idea felt a bit more tangible, a bit less farfetched, than it would have a few months ago.

She was open to the possibility, but she wasn’t in a rush.

For now, summer sunshine and the sound of her son’s laughter were all she needed.