Chapter 23

Twenty-Three

Titus was back home by noon. Pedro waved. He was sitting outside with the kids, waiting for him. Lunch by the pool had become a ritual now that Pedro was living there. He would monitor the kids for morning pool play while Titus worked in his study, on the phone with either Alden, Tuttle or Barb. At noon, Roz would take the kids inside to eat, giving them some time alone.

Titus waved back, reaching into his truck and pulling out a cardboard tray loaded with takeout. "Who wants cheeseburgers and milkshakes?" he hollered.

"We do! We do!" The kids shouted, running to meet him. Titus lowered the tray, so that they could take two of the cups he was balancing. When they reached the table, he set the tray down.

"Well, this is a surprise," Pedro said.

"I told Roz not to bother with lunch, that I'd stop by the Dream." He handed Shelly another cup and Tucker one of the bags. "That's your mama's tea and y'all's lunch. Be good now and take it to her. There might also be a surprise in there for you."

Tucker and Shelly's eyes grew wide. "What kind of surprise?" Tucker asked.

"Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it? Now, run along."

They did as told, giggling and speculating about what the surprise was. Titus winked at Pedro, who raised his eyebrows with inquiry.

"Brownies," Titus answered.

"Ooh. Do I get a brownie, too?"

"Of course." Titus sat down next to him, reaching into the bag and distributing their lunch. "Everybody gets a brownie."

"I was wondering where you were. When I woke up, you were gone."

"Sorry. I, um–I had some errands I needed to run, and I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful. What's the news here? Did I miss anything?"

"Well," Pedro said, drawing the syllable out for mock-seriousness. "So much you wouldn't believe. Where do I begin? Let me see… Tucker wants to form a club that is all boys, no girls allowed. Shelly thought she should be able to join this club because they're friends. Tucker assured her they were friends but explained that sometimes boys must do things alone. So, he and she could only remain friends part of the time, when the club was not in session. Her feelings got hurt. Tears were near. So, I steered the conversation towards an impromptu game of Marco Polo, and we moved on from the drama."

"You've been hanging out with the kids too much. I told you. It messes with your head."

"I enjoy spending time with them. I do. But sometimes their conversation mirrors life so much it's disconcerting."

"Do you think Tucker's gay?" Titus asked, unwrapping an enormous cheeseburger.

"He's only four, T."

"He'll be five this year. But that's not what I meant. I know most of that stuff comes with puberty. But sometimes I get early signals, you know–"

" Gaydar? "

"Is that what they call it?"

"Yes. I've just never weighed the notion regarding children. Makes sense though. I knew it myself at an early age, maybe eight or nine."

"Really?"

"Well, not physically," Pedro said, reaching for the fries. "But I knew something was going on inside–that I was different. I felt a pull towards some men I saw on television, especially the western shows my father watched. I didn't respond to women that way at all."

Titus nodded. "Yeah. Me too… a little later though, eleven or twelve—middle school, sixth grade, sports, locker rooms. I was always afraid someone might catch me stealing glances, or worse—getting a boner."

"How did you avoid it later, like in high school?"

Titus took a big pull from his milkshake. His eyes lifted a bit with contemplation. "It was scarier in middle school because everything was so new then, the peer pressure, team sports, showers, testosterone. But once you've played with the same guys for a while—years, in my case—you become a family. After that, it's weird to think about it in any kind of sexual context. I mean, there's always curiosity–even straight guys look, and hard-ons happen. I just learned to keep my eyes level, avoiding the temptation to look down."

"I'm not so good at that."

"No." Titus chuckled. "No, you're not. But I'm glad. That's what gave you away on your first day here."

"In my defense, you're sporting some large lumber down there. It's a little distracting. You were also coming on to me pretty strong."

"In my defense, you're a beautiful man. I was stunned to discover you inside my gate, my world. All I could think was—how do I keep him here?"

Titus leaned in and they kissed. It was chaste, but lingering.

"Anyway, back to the original topic," Pedro said, taking a sip from his shake. "I'm grateful for lunchtime. With you. I was ready for some adult contact."

"I'm ready for that with you anytime."

"That's not what I meant." Pedro blushed. "But yes, I'm up for that, too."

"Whenever you want. But–" Titus's smile waned. "–I need to tell you something first. I went to see Daddy."

Pedro's expression morphed from content to concern. "Is he OK?"

"Yes. He's fine. In fact, he looked great."

"Well, that's good to hear."

"Yeah. It's just–" Titus, seeing Pedro's kind eyes, could not stop tears from welling in his own. "I–"

"It's OK." Pedro reached for Titus's hands and held them much the same way Titus had held his the day they met. He squeezed reassuringly. "What's going on?"

Titus took a deep breath and exhaled. "I told Daddy I'd run for mayor."

"Oh," Pedro said, confused. "But I thought that was what he wanted."

"It is. But I should have consulted with you first. A decision like that is gonna affect both of us. It's not fair of me to put this on you after what you've been through. Not without asking."

Pedro's expression softened, relieved. "I thought you were going to say something else, something horrible. Like maybe your father's condition had worsened, or that you had murdered Silas."

"I came close," Titus murmured.

"So you went to Compton's?"

He nodded.

"That–" Pedro said, releasing Titus's hands and leaning back in his chair, "–is something that I have a problem with. What were you thinking? Tuttle forbade you to go there. Why didn't you come to me first?"

"Because you would have talked me out of it."

"Yes, I would have. Please tell me you didn't hurt him."

"I didn't lay a hand on him. Mason Barksdale was there, too, which, in retrospect, was probably for the best. It kept me in check."

"What did you do?"

"I found out everything we suspected was true. I informed Silas that he was forfeiting most of his business by being such a giant asshole. But then Mason implied it would only be temporary, that he would give Silas the business back when he became mayor."

"And you told Mason that wouldn't happen because he'd be running against you."

"You know me well."

"I do. But there's something else I want to know? Did you out Mason's father to him?"

"No. It was tempting, but then I thought–I don't even know the man. What right do I have to do that to him? The only reason Milton and Daddy ever became enemies was because Daddy hurt him, intentionally or not. Then I realized Violet had pretty much done the same thing to Mason. She didn't mean to hurt him. She just chose me. We Shepherds have indirectly wounded two generations of Barksdales by breaking hearts. Why on earth would I rub salt into that wound by outing Milton to his son? No. In fact, when I'm mayor I'm gonna do everything I can do to patch things up between our families. Not only am I gonna do my best to diversify Spoon, I'm going to reach out to Milton and try to help Morehead grow as well. Fighting is easy. Building bridges is hard. And I'm done with taking things easy."

"I love you."

The words leapt from Pedro's lips with an urgency insuppressible. Titus stared, stunned for a moment, then broke into a big grin. He opened his mouth to speak, but Pedro lifted a hand to his lips and shushed him.

"I'm sorry I didn't say it that night when you did for the first time, but I do love you, T. I knew it when we first met. I just couldn't bring myself to admit it because of all the stupid relationship rules people adhere to. You know? Things like no sex on the first date, no talk of past loves, no premature I love yous. It's ridiculous. I know that now because of… well, you . I think it just becomes ingrained in us subconsciously, or maybe even inherently, to avoid getting hurt. But you're not like anyone I've ever known–I sensed that early on. We broke most of those rules on the very first date."

"You were also concerned about your job, keeping your green card."

"I was. But after our first conversation and Barb's glowing reference, my worries got less. Soon, my only concern was what would I do if I lost you."

"Never gonna happen."

"I know that now. But when I was in jail those few hours, my mind went black. Deportation was all I could think about. I was just sitting there, waiting for INS to show up and take me back to Mexico."

"I would have followed you there."

"You couldn't, T. You have Tucker to think about."

Titus's brow furrowed with consideration. He shrugged. "I would have figured something out. I always do."

"Yes." Pedro smiled. "I believe you would."

"So, you'll have me. Me and Tucker, that is. That's always been my worry. That if I ever met someone, they wouldn't want us both."

Pedro took Titus's face in his hands and gave him another quick peck on the lips. "Of course, I want you both. I love Tucker, T, just as much. Because he is you… a part of you, anyway. I've always wanted kids. It's why I considered teaching before my father got sick. I was afraid that, being gay, I could never have children. I thought teaching would have to suffice."

"Well, not anymore. Because me and Tucker are a package deal if you'll have us."

"Sold. However, there is one condition."

"Anything," Titus said. "Name it."

"We keep nothing from each other ever again. No matter how bad. You should have told me you were going to confront Silas."

"You're right. That was wrong of me. I can be bull-headed sometimes."

Pedro tilted his head.

"Stubborn," Titus clarified. "It'll never happen again."

"I'm guilty too. I was worried how you'd react to my past–the prostitution–so I kept it from you. I won't do that again. I promise, too."

"And you're OK being my partner, even if I become mayor and we're an out gay couple, living in the public eye?"

Pedro's brow lifted, his face contorting comically. "I guess I'll have to get used to it–being Mrs. Titus Shepherd, that is—the mayor's wife ."

"Fuck that. You're Mr. Pedro Torres– the first gentleman . I'll make sure everyone knows it, too."

"I don't doubt it."

"I'll protect you, P. I won't let anything bad ever happen to you again."

"I believe you. We'll live happily ever after."

"Yes, we will."

"But you're forgetting one thing–my citizenship."

"Nope," Titus said. "I haven't forgotten that at all. It's been in the foremost of my thoughts. And since we're confessing things here—" Titus glanced at his watch. "—I have one other little thing I've been keeping from you."