36. Mandy

Itried convincing myself that I was truly done. But nothing was ever done with Jackson.

"Please," he begged, crossing the room and caging me in again. I could have stepped out the door. I could have backed away, but my body was screaming at me to stay, to hear him out. I hated myself for it. "Please, Mandy. Give me a day. Twenty-four hours. Don't tell them yet."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not ready for it to be over," he breathed, one hand lifting to cup my cheek, his thumb swiping at the stray tear that broke free. Every part of him vibrated with worry, with fear, and although I didn't show it on the outside, it was eating me up on the inside. It was tempting me, leaving me in a paralyzing situation where I didn't know which way I wanted to go. "I waited ten years for you. Can you please at least give me one more day? One more night?"

"I can't handle one more day," I whispered, my voice breaking as I tried to turn my head away. "This hurts. You're hurting me every second that you're making me stay in this with you."

"I know, princess," he sighed. His forehead fell to mine, his breath warming the air between us. "I'm so sorry for that. But please. At least… at least give me tonight. An hour. Anything. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, for everything. I've ruined it, I know, but just… please."

He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he was breaking me down, slithering his way inside and patching up old wounds, daring to stop the bleeding while giving me new ones. It hurt just the same. "Jack…" I breathed, barely able to justify letting him keep me in here, let alone what he was asking for.

"Let's just… pretend," he said. His lips pressed against my cheek, my jaw. One strong hand snaked around my waist, fingers digging into satin-covered skin, pulling my body toward him and away from the door. I wasn't sure I had the will to fight him anymore, but part of me felt like he'd masterminded that. "Can you do that for me, princess? Pretend, like you did before?"

"Like I did before?" I scoffed, pushing gently against his chest as he dipped lower, lips meeting my neck, my collarbone. That wasn't pretend. I wanted to scream it, but the words wouldn't form.

"Like you did before," he repeated, his body shuddering as his hips pressed against mine. "Let me have you."

Shit. Why did it feel so good to hear him say that?

His hand roamed lower, over the curve of my ass and cupped the back of my thigh as his mouth followed suit, down between my breasts where fabric met flesh. "Let me taste you."

I couldn't stop my hands from burying themselves in his hair, couldn't keep my body from reacting to his touch. "Okay," I whispered, wishing I'd kept that one word to myself, wishing I had more control over my own heart. "Okay."

His mouth left my breasts as he cupped both of my thighs, lifting me in a heartbeat. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, teeth and tongue nipping and licking at the soft skin there as he turned us both around. Two steps and my rear hit the edge of the desk, his hips slotting so easily between them, the sensations from his mouth dragging little whimpers and moans from me.

I nearly lost my mind when he dropped to his knees.

Fingers grazed across my thighs, pushing the satin fabric up. He hooked onto the sides of my panties at the same time he planted a kiss on the inside of my leg. "Lift up, princess."

I lifted my ass, relishing in the feeling of him pulling the frilly lace down my skin. Every inch was maddening as the butterflies and warmth spread in my gut, that depraved, traitorous part of me reacting to his touch alone. His tongue dragged along my inner thigh, growing ever closer to the spot I wanted him to touch most.

"Tell me what you want," he mumbled. His teeth sunk into my flesh, hard enough to make me squeal.

"You," I said, the word feeling too much like the truth. I knew damn well there would always be a part of me that genuinely felt that in my bones, a part of me that would fold to him too easily. I'd meant it when I said I could move away. Just knowing he was in the same city as me was too tempting if I found him again. I needed to get away. "I want you."

"Where?" He chuckled, his breath tickling the little bits of peach fuzz around the apex of my thighs. "Be specific, princess."

I groaned in frustration and grabbed a handful of his hair. "You know where." I tried to pull his mouth closer, tried to get him to go where I needed him, but he resisted.

"Say it and I'll give it to you," he purred.

I narrowed my eyes at him and shifted my ass on the desk, pushing myself into him. "Give it to me anyway."

He gave a muffled chuckle as his lips parted, his tongue reaching out and gliding across my folds almost too gently. His strong hands wrapped around my thighs, lifting them up onto his shoulders, and with myself laid bare from the waist down before him, he dug into his feast.

Wet warmth lapped against my most sensitive part. I leaned back on my elbows, releasing the strands of his hair, and watched as he lost himself in me. The little whimpers I made were involuntary, too easily slipping past my lips without a second thought.

Through the two undone buttons at the top of his dress shirt, I could see a hint of the panda on the left side of his chest. My breath caught in my throat, and I tucked my legs in a little tighter around his head to block the view. It's not your fault he got that tattoo. This is for the best.

My head began to swim as I tipped it back, the pleasure building in my gut. I'd never been eaten out like this, never had such a visceral reaction to it. I forced myself to breathe through it, to not let the way his mouth formed the words ‘I love you'against me sway me any further. I could just have sex with him. Just sex, and then be done.

My body squirmed as his fingers slid inside, curling up at just the right spot. Arms shaking, I lowered myself further, laying down fully on the desk and letting him have his way. At least then I wouldn't have to look, wouldn't have to resist the temptation he embodied?—

"Look at me, princess," he mumbled, the sound muffled from his mouthful. I lowered my jaw, looking down between my breasts and legs. He held eye contact as he feasted, his mouth and tongue moving against me, drawing me ever closer to that mounting precipice. "I want you to watch me while you come."

Couldn't I just pretend, for once, that this was enough?

I couldn't stop the moan that crawled from my throat. Just watching him was intoxicating enough, tossing me higher into the atmosphere, drawing out every bit of pleasure that he could. "Fuck, Jack," I whined, pushing myself up onto one elbow and grasping the strands of his hair again with my free hand.

"We'll get there," he chuckled. "Come for me first."

I tightened my grip as my orgasm met its peak, his words giving me that little bit that I needed. My legs locked around his head as he curled his fingers farther, dragging out my pleasure, forcing me to shake and buck against him as the pleasure spread through my body like wildfire.

His fingers retreated slowly, and in the haze of coming down from it, I forgot to keep myself guarded. I forgot to not care. I grabbed at the front of Jack's shirt as he stood, pulling him down toward me, my lips damp and needy as they pressed against his greedily.

He kissed me as though it were the last time, and maybe it was, but it feltlike so much more.

Hands grazed up my body, pulling the straps of my dress down over my shoulders and the cowl neck down over my breasts. The fabric pooled around my waist, leaving me entirely bare above and below. He kissed down my neck, across my collarbone, my nipples.

His fingers fumbled with the buckle of his belt, loosening it as much as he could with one hand. The sound of it alone was enough to have me lifting my ass from the desk, grinding it against his waist as he refused to part from me.

Warmth pressed against the dampness growing between my thighs. My breath caught as his lips met mine again, desperate and urgent. I bucked my hips, silently telling him I was more than ready, and within seconds he'd fully seated himself inside of me, filling me entirely in more ways than one. I never wanted to be empty. Why is it always like this with him?

He didn't move. His hands slid beneath my back, his mouth moving against mine, and before I could process what he was doing, he picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he spun me, pressing me against the wall and making it take the majority of my weight, his cock hitting new levels of depth.

"Fuck," I grunted, the sensation making my head swim.

Arms unlatched my legs, lifting them, holding them up on either side of me. "Beg me," he whispered.

My head fell back against the wall, my eyes drifting to the door. The lock was turned, but… which direction was locked? "What if someone walks in?" I breathed.

"Hmm," he grunted. His hips shifted back, dragging his length almost all the way out, before slamming back in again. Oh my God. "I guess you better keep quiet so no one gets suspicious. Now… beg me, princess."

I desperately wanted to stay just like that. "Please," I whimpered, locking my arms around his neck. "Please, Jack."

"Please what?"

I groaned as I tried to move my hips. I was firmly locked in place. "Please fuck me."

"There we go," he said.

He moved then, finally, and I think I might have slipped into heaven, or maybe the opposite, I wasn't sure. Strong thrusts, perfect angle, his mouth on my skin, his words in my ear. "I'm not having you end this with me without knowing exactly what you'll be missing out on."

"Jack," I groaned, my breath catching as he dropped my leg, ordering me to hold it up instead. The thoughts of it ending, the thoughts of me pushing him away, slammed back into my mind before becoming hazy again with each thrust. "Can we not talk about?—"

"Yeah." His hand snuck between us, fingers grazing against my swollen and sensitive clit. It made me jump, made me buck against him as much as I could physically move. "We don't have to talk about a thing. Just let me make you feel good."

I nodded as I dropped my head against his shoulder, the sensations completely overwhelming me. It was too much, but I needed this kind of toomuch, I would always want too much with him. I was already building, already close.

"You're going to come again," he said matter-of-factly, his lips pressing against my temple. "I need you too, princess. I need you to come for me."

"You're an ass." The words came out in a half-moan, half-laugh.

"I know I am. But you can do it."

His fingers moved faster, swirling in little, gentle circles as he hit that perfect space inside with every thrust of his hips. I was going to lose my mind, turn into jelly, and maybe that was what he wanted. But I didn't care, not when he was touching me like that, not when he had me so close…

My release ripped through me before I'd even realized I was there, tearing apart every wall I had in place. I dug my fingers into him, cried out against his shirt, shook in his arms. It was perfect, blissful, and heaven was definitely the place. Jackson's hips stuttered as I squeezed around him, his breath faster, his moans louder. He fell over his own cliff seconds after me, shaking, whispering words I couldn't hear, one hand holding me and the other in my hair. He coaxed me through each aftershock, filling me, pushing his release deeper inside, and when we'd finally caught our breath and calmed down, he set me back on the desk to gather myself.

"The, uh," he panted, pushing the little damp strands of hair back from his face, "the door was locked. I just wanted you to know that."

I glanced at it again, taking note of the locked position. I nodded. "Thanks."

"Do you need any help?"

"No," I said. Reality was slamming in faster than I wanted, and I knew I'd fucked up. I'd bent to him again, given him myself too many times when he didn't deserve it. It hurt, and all I wanted to do was fucking cry, but I pulled my straps back up, put my underwear back on. As I stood on my heels, I gave a little shake, letting the fabric fall back down over my ass.

"Mandy."

I turned to him. Wild, tired eyes searched mine for an answer I knew he wanted, one I couldn't give.

"No. Come on. Please," he breathed, taking a step toward me, but I stopped him.

"This changed nothing."