20. Mandy

Ihadn't been able to stop thinking about what happened on the flight for the last week. It consumed every waking thought, every dream. Jackson, emotional, vulnerable, nearly in tears as I held his hands, as he told me what happened. Jackson, strong, looming, sexy, buried deep inside of me.

I hadn't come that hard in a long, fucking time.

"Mandy?"

I turned, hitting my ear with the curling iron, sucking in a breath through my teeth as it burned the tender flesh. "Yeah?"

"You okay?" Amanda asked, sitting down next to me at the table in her pink robe. She plonked her massive case of makeup in front of us. "You seem a bit out of it."

"Mmm-hmm," I nodded, catching Harry out of the corner of my eye as he came around the corner. He'd insisted on hanging out with us as we all got ready for Tiana's bachelorette party, citing the fact that I clearly never told him anything anymore. He was still giving me crap about the fake engagement, stating it was a cruel joke allowing him to believe it was real. "Just thinking about, you know," I whispered, low enough for only her to hear. She nodded.

Harry didn't need to know about what happened on the plane. He was so fiercely protective, so adamant that I needed to keep my distance from Jackson for my mental well-being, and although I appreciated that, I didn't want the inevitable lecture I'd get if he heard that I'd let my guard down and slept with him.

I still wasn't sure if I regretted it or not.

"So where are we going that requires this much prep?" Harry asked, adjusting his tie in the mirror.

"Some place called Suite 200. Jack said to dress fancy, so that's what I'm going off of." I searched through the litany of shades of foundation in Amanda's bag. You'd think she was a makeup artist with all this shit instead of a chef.

"Do you do everything Jack asks of you?" Harry snorted, pushing his hair back from his face and spraying a bit of hairspray on it.

"No, but his sister is an angel. Don't take your annoyance with him out on her. I'm not."

I slid the ring from my finger as I started on my makeup. I didn't want to ruin that, especially not tonight. The press would likely be all over us, they'd been following me for the past week, including today to Denver. Jackson assigned some of his personal security to follow me around to ensure they didn't hassle me too much.

Harry saddled up beside us, picking up the ring off the table and inspecting it between his fingers. My stomach sank as he twirled it around. I didn't want him touching it, I didn't want anyonetouching it. "This thing is so tacky," he said, his face crinkling with disgust. "It's not even a diamond. Does he even know how to propose correctly?"

"I didn't want a diamond," I snapped, plucking it from his hands and pocketing it in my robe.

Harry glared down at me, blinking in confusion. "I'm sorry, did you design it together?"

"No, but the point remains. I didn't want a diamond."

"So it was a lucky guess," Harry surmised.

I shrugged. "Maybe. We might have talked about it back in the day."

He huffed as he stepped away. "Didn't realize you guys were ever quite that serious," he chuckled, double checking himself in the mirror. "I'm going downstairs to get a coffee. You guys want anything?"

"Mocha!" Amanda chimed, aiming a big smile directly at him. "I'll Venmo you for it."

I waited until the door shut behind him to let out my groan of frustration. "I don't know what to fucking do, Amanda. My mind is swimming. He's going to break my heart again. I know it. I'm?—"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Amanda said, her hand resting on my shoulder as she looked at me with a gentle gaze. "You're not going to let him do that because you're not going to let it get that far."

"I know that. But I'm having a really hard time keeping my heart out of this," I sighed, trying to distract myself by looking for a blush. "I can't even talk about it with Harry because he'll just get angry. I already know what he'd say—"You're being stupid, he's an asshole, you're doing this to yourself." Yeah, I know all that. It already fucking hurts."

"It's okay if those feelings from ten years ago are starting to resurface. You were really into him and he broke your heart. It's okay, Mandy. It's natural to be feeling what you're feeling."

"I don't know if I can do this," I whispered, the backs of my eyes already beginning to burn. "Every time I'm with him, it gets easier and I just want more. It shouldn't be like that. I should hate him."

"But you don't." She stated, grabbing a tissue and dabbing it under my eyes.

"No," I squeaked, my voice breaking. "I don't think I do anymore."

————

Music poured from the speakers as the three of us entered the club. At the back stood a security guard outside of a curtained, roped-off section and I knew that had to be where our party was situated.

We gave our names to the guard and he let us through, parting the curtains to a second room. Tiana stood in the center, a white, floor-length gown clinging to her body, a massive slit up the thigh. She wore a pink sash around her torso with the words ‘Bride to Be' written in big white letters across it, and a little tiara sat atop her head.

She beamed when she saw me.

"Mandy!" She shouted, running over clumsily in her heels, throwing her arms around my neck and meeting me with nearly enough force to knock me over. I laughed as I hugged her, ten years of her absence in my life hitting me at once. "I'm so, so happy you're here! Jack said you were coming but I didn't believe him."

"Of course I'm here," I grinned, pulling back from her. "God, look at you! So grown up. You were, what, sixteen last time I saw you?"

She nodded, her broad smile so different from her usual sour demeanor. She was always happy to see me, though, and I loved that it hadn't changed. "Yeah, sixteen. And now I'm getting married!" She squealed, releasing me to hold my hands instead. "And so are you," she giggled, winking at me.

She was already tipsy.

"Who are your friends?" She asked, peeking over my shoulder at Amanda and Harry.

"This is Amanda," I said as I gestured toward her. "You may have met her when you and your parents came to visit at NYU. And this is Harry, he's my business partner. Guys, this is Tiana."

She gave them both a hug, her smile never fading. Definitely tipsy. "It's so nice to meet you guys," she chimed, adjusting her tiara as it fell. "Jack told me he finally came clean to you. I've been telling him to do it for years but he's still technically not allowed to talk about the whole military project thing."

"Yeah, he told me," I nodded, following her across the dance floor and toward the private bar.

"If he wasn't so worried that getting back together with you would have put you in danger, he would have come for you the second he got out. He was terrified that the same thing that happened to his coworkers could happen to you," she carried on, tacking on a quick order for three cocktails to the bartender without even asking what we wanted. "That's why he pulled back, buried his feelings. He was so scared of putting you in harm"s way he'd rather be without you than risk you getting hurt. Even if it fucking killed him."

Harry stiffened by my side, changing his drink order with the bartender.

"I'm so happy that he found you again, though. Even if it's different now."

I spun the ring on my finger, my stomach churning. Hearing her talk about it solidified things in my mind. I knew he wasn't lying, but a part of me had wanted to believe that he was. It still didn't excuse the fact that he should have found a way to tell me after he was released. All of it was beginning to break me again, tearing down every little wall I'd built to keep him out.

"Let me introduce you to my friends!" Tiana exclaimed, knocking me out of my torrid thoughts.

————

As the night progressed and drinks were consumed, Tiana's party devolved into slight chaos.

Pin-the-penis had ended up with one of Tiana's friends getting poked in the forehead with a tack, resulting in screaming and tears when a single drop of blood ran down the girl's face. Truth or dare had one of the girls pole dancing without a pole on top of the bar, giving everyone an eyeful when she bent over and wasn't wearing underwear. And, of course, beer pong had thrown the bride-to-be into overdrive. Tiana drunkenly argued with two different people about whether it counts if a ball bounces off a cup, which led to a mess of tears and streaked mascara.

It was eventful, to say the least.

Tiana had been in my corner most of the night. Once the alcohol really started flowing, some of her friends started opening their mouths and becoming too loose with their words. One girl she'd introduced to me as Penelope, had inspected my ring with a face of disgust.

"Is that musgravite?" She asked, turning the band to get a better look at the leaves and branches. "Can't believe he'd give something this valuable to someone so… you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I challenged. My inhibitions were far too low and I couldn't conceal the scowl on my face.

"Haven't you read what the press has been saying about you?" Penelope giggled. "Jackson's engaged to a nobody. I wonder how long that'll last."

Tiana shoved her shoulder into mine, her lower lip jutting out as she struggled to hold her balance. "My brother loves her. It doesn't matter if she doesn't come from money."

"I… thanks, Tiana, but I have enough to support myself," I grumbled, taking a long sip through my straw. Harry and Amanda had already abandoned me, both of them far too drunk to hold themselves up. I made a mental note to not have an open bar if I ever got married and those two were in attendance. "I don't really care what the press has been saying about me. I didn't invite them into my life."

Penelope snorted, one hand wrapping around the arm of one of her friends. She pulled her into the conversation, the poor girl stumbling over her own heels. If I remembered correctly, her name was April, but things were beginning to get hazy. "Look at her ring," Penelope instructed, placing my outstretched hand into April's. "Musgravite."

April squinted, getting her face far too close to my hand for my liking. "What is that?"

"An absurdly precious gemstone," Penelope explained. "More expensive than the finest diamond. It's ridiculous. He must have spent an absolute fortune on this, for someone like her."

April's face contorted before saying, "Eww."

"You guys are so annoying," Tiana groaned. She leaned onto me, her dress catching on one of the little sequins on mine, and I held her up as best I could but my balance was starting to go too. "Just be nice to her. I like her. That's all that matters."

"I just don't understand why you never set any of us up with your brother. I'm pretty sure we all asked at some point," Penelope continued, her drink sloshing over the edge of her cup and dripping down her hand. I yanked my hand back from April as she tried to take my ring off. "You always said he didn't want to date. Obviously, that was a fucking lie."

"It wasn't a lie," Tiana hissed. "He was waitingfor her." She leaned into me even more, her weight hitting me and knocking me backward into a chair, Tiana landing square on my lap with a little gasp.

"So fucking drunk she can't even stand," Penelope said, her eyes rolling dramatically. "You should be happy the press is not around now to photograph you." The two of them laughed as they walked away, the alcohol bringing out their worst qualities.

I sighed as I readjusted Tiana on my lap. No point in forcing her to her feet now. "They're assholes. Why do you hang out with them?"

"Same circles," she slurred. She tugged at the sash around her shoulders, the hem of it leaving a little red line against her neck. "They've been trying to get with Jack for years. Sorry about them."

"It's fine," I lied, the irritation still bubbling in me. What had she meant when she said he was waiting for me? It gnawed at the back of my mind and I wanted to know. The alcohol forced me to ask the question. "Jack was waiting for me, huh?"

She giggled as she turned in my lap, laying back against my chest dramatically as she put one hand to her forehead. A fake swoon. "Mmm-hmm. Very romantic. That ring you've got on was always meant to be…" she hiccuped, then another giggle, "…it was always meant to be yours."

My stomach churned at her words, my skin losing its color. "What does that mean?"

"He asked Mom for it ten years ago," she grinned, tilting her head back to look at me upside down. "I was there."