Chapter 5

Chapter Five

T here were a handful of pubs that Emyl could have gone to, and searching them all would have been tedious. Thankfully—or unfortunately—it was all too easy to distinguish which pub was being used to recruit staff for Prince Eadric. In a place that had become a town of more Soulshades than people, angry crowds were no longer commonplace.

So the one forming in front of the doors to one of the more rundown pubs was a sign I was in the right place. The voices were indecipherable from the top of the street, an angry buzzing of overlapping sounds and words that made my heart climb in my throat as the noise assaulted me. Each step closer to the throng brought both volume and clarity to their protests. Before the plague robbed me of parts of my hearing, I could have heard them long before I approached. But now, I was nearly atop them before the words were decipherable. I wanted to turn and retreat, but I forced each step forward, seeking out their protests.

The words were the same vitriol that was always thrown at anyone who came into town from Castle Auretras, the same hatred for the Coward Prince that had left his people to die. Though today, there was something more behind them, something reminiscent of the early days of the blood plague, when we were all still begging the crown to do something to help us.

My steps faltered. The city had been resigned in the last months. Early on, some had tried to storm the castle, but every attempt had been unsuccessful and left behind even more bodies. No one tried anymore—there weren't enough left to risk it. What had the castle's pageboy brought to the surface to renew the ire?

Approaching the pub, I realized it could hardly be considered a crowd, really, but there were more people gathered than I'd seen throughout the entirety of the last six months. People kept their distance from each other now, either a precaution to avoid any chance of spreading the plague, or to avoid connections, to avoid having to mourn one more person they knew.

"You cannot just take them!" someone shouted.

Ice slithered down my veins. Take ?

The man at the doorway, a pageboy from the castle based on his embroidered jacket and fitted pants made from a shiny material that likely cost more than an entire month's wages, rolled his eyes and huffed, tugging on his sleeves. "As I have said , Prince Eadric will only turn to conscription if there are no volunteers. This is not uncommon and has been done in every city in Veressia. Certainly people still need jobs here too, yes? Send them to me, and there should be no problems."

"Why should we work for that heartless coward?"

"He has a cure. Why is he doing nothing?"

"I'll never work for the likes of him."

"He is not our king! He will not even take the throne!"

The man's nostrils flared and even from this distance, I could see how his eyes darkened. "Mind your tongues. All of you. King Gavriel did not tolerate rebellion, and neither will Prince Eadric, regardless of his choice of when to ascend the throne. You are subjects of the crown, and you'd do well to remember it." He straightened his coat, rolling his shoulders back and jutting his chin out. "Now, if you have anyone who would like to volunteer for the honor of serving their royal family, please do send them my way. If there are no volunteers by nightfall, I shall return tomorrow with the names of those selected to serve."

"How will you choose?" That spurred the crowd back into shouting once more, echoing the sentiment.

"Citizens between the ages of nineteen and twenty-nine will be placed into a lottery to be chosen at random," he replied. "Now, if that is all."

The crowd grumbled slightly as they dispersed, running back to the safety of their homes now that there was no one to direct their ire towards. The words they'd spoken were true, though those who spoke them aloud were far braver than I. Prince Eadric was certainly a coward, but there were still those in his employ who would gladly quell an uprising.

A woman brushed past me, our shoulders bumping together. I murmured a soft apology and stepped aside, eyes still fixed on the wooden door that held my fate behind it. The gasp that escaped her lips pulled my eyes down to hers, which were fixed on my neck and chest where the Death marks sprawled and coiled like serpents across my skin.

"Lovely, aren't they?" I responded, grinning wide and showing my teeth.

Her cheeks flushed as she scurried away. The smile fell from my face, trampled beneath the footsteps of all those who passed me, trying and failing to conceal their stares. I had grown indifferent to the gaping mouths and sharp inhales that my Death marks drew. They'd been etched across my skin for half a year now, and yet it felt like I'd been born with them.

Before the cursed plague swept through Veressia, I would have withered under the attention, but now, it just made the vein in my temple throb and my jaw clench.

The first time I had braved the city streets after I'd recovered had been difficult, and I refused to leave the house for weeks after. The first person my mother and I had passed by had openly gawked at my marks. The man had glared at me and ushered his family away with a huff about how I should not have been allowed in public. I had nearly punched him in the mouth. Only my mother's calming hand on my arm had prevented it.

"You control your emotions, your actions, Odyssa," she'd told me. "Not them. Do not give them that power."

I tilted my head back and inhaled the smell of stale copper and acrid smoke. The Death marks were a punishment, a reminder that I had lived and my mother had not. But I was not ashamed of them.

Lowering my chin, I made eye contact with each person who stared at me.

I lingered as the last people left the area, waiting for my chance to enter the pub unseen. Despite the fact that my brothers had directed me here, I feared the repercussions for them if anyone saw me enter and assumed I was volunteering willingly. Once it was clear, I brushed my hair behind my ear and pulled open the door to the pub.

Before my eyes could adjust to the dim lighting inside, a hairy arm and large hand stretched across the doorway, barring me from moving any further.

"We're closed." The large man peered down at me as he pulled his arm back slowly before crossing both arms over his chest. It was a hardly necessary intimidation tactic—the circumference of his arm was larger than my head, even without him puffing them out just so.

"I watched him walk in here." I raised my chin towards the man who'd been speaking outside. Being meek and cowering would serve me no purpose here. "I'd like to speak with him."

"So willing to serve the crown, eh?" His lip curled up in a sneer.

"I am willing to save my family, whatever be the cost."

His eyes narrowed for a moment as he sucked at his teeth. I refused to look away, refused to back down from the silent judgement. I would save Emyl and Rhyon, even if I had to drag this entire kingdom down with me to do so.

Whatever he saw in my face passed his inspection, and wordlessly he stepped aside, raising his chin towards the back corner of the pub. The castle's pageboy was sitting there in the shadows, barely visible from the light of the candles in the center of the table.

Ash coated my tongue and my ears filled with that incessant buzzing noise—my only warning before a swarm of flickering mist began to solidify at my side. My jaw clicked. Even here, I could not escape the Soulshades vying for my attention. I hurried over to the table, keeping my eyes straight ahead.

"Can I help you, young lady?" The man looked both up at me yet down his nose at the same time. "I'm quite busy."

"Oh?" I bit my tongue to hold back the rest of the sharp remark and pressed the words into my cheek in favor of a more palatable response. "I heard the prince was looking for new staff. I'd like to volunteer and was told to find you."

He studied me for a long moment over the rim of his mug. A part of me hoped he would find me lacking in some way and send me back home. Then at least I could tell my brothers that I had tried to do it their way, and I wasn't good enough for the prince.

"Why?" He put his mug down and laced his fingers together. "This city seemed content to turn to conscription. Yet you are here. Why?"

"My family needs to eat." Perhaps I should have added some emotion to my voice, but truly, there was little else I could say, and little reason to lie. Was he expecting me to say that I'd longed my entire life to be locked inside a gilded cage with an egotistical child for a prince? Hardly.

He chuffed a laugh, leaning back in his seat. "Quite right, I suppose."

"So?" Tell me no. Tell me no. Tell me no.

"Seeing as how you've been our only volunteer thus far, I suppose you will have to do." He stood from the table, picking up and draining his mug, smacking his lips as he set it back down. He clapped his hands. "Well? Shall we?"

I barely stopped the shock that nearly jolted my body. "Now? You said tomorrow."

"Well, yes, for those conscripted. You can go now to the castle." He raised an eyebrow at me, pursing his lips. "Unless you had something more important to attend to."

I looked back over my shoulder, as if I could see all the way back to my house and inside to wherever my brothers were. Biting my lip, I swayed on my feet. I'd not been able to say goodbye to them, and though I doubted very much they would wish to speak with me now, it still hurt. It still tore what was surely left of my soul into pieces.

Both would likely forget me, if not from the passing of time, then by choice. I could not say which would be worse.

I turned back to the man, rolling my shoulders back. There was no use in lingering. Emyl had made his choice quite clear, and if there was one thing we had in common, it was that once our minds were made up, there'd be no changing them. "No, I am ready."

His eyes narrowed and he raised a finger to point at my neck. "You survived?"

I refused to blush, refused to show any shame for surviving this hell. I kept my chin raised. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

As he stroked his chin, he let out a hum. "No, no, it shouldn't be any issue. There are other survivors on the staff." He clapped his hands once more, and I could not stop the flinch that time. "Let's be off then."

From the shadows on either side of the table, two guards stepped out, flanking us as the man turned sharply on his heel and made way for the back entrance of the pub. No more words were uttered as I followed them out of the pub and back into the streets of the city.

Each step through the winding streets was like a knife in my stomach. A reminder that I had failed at the one thing my mother asked of me. I couldn't dream of protecting my brothers while I was sequestered inside the dark hold of Castle Auretras. Maybe, if luck was on my side, I would be able to see our home from one of the windows. But I'd not been in the graces of fate thus far in my life, so expecting that to change was for naught.

I was alone. At least they had each other.

I could only hope Mother would forgive me. That somewhere in the afterlife, she would see that this was my only choice, and she would approve. If ever there was a time for a Soulshade to appear, I wanted it to be now, and I wanted it to be my mother. It was selfish, but I did not care.

Running into the back of the pageboy was my only clue that he had stopped.

"Do not speak unless spoken to. Do not make eye contact with anyone." He paused and looked me over head to toe. "Do you understand?"

I nodded. As he turned back around, I fortified the walls around my heart, around my mind, around my soul. Brick by brick, I sealed off my emotions, letting myself turn into a mere statue of a person, one unaffected by anything. Emotionless. Blank.

My mother had always told me that my forced apathy wasn't the solution to my consuming anger. One extreme was not the solution to another, and that for someone who felt everything so strongly, I would only be making things worse when those emotions finally broke through. She'd said I needed to find balance if I was to thrive in this world.

But my mother was gone, and this was all I had. This was my only weapon in this battle.

It would keep me alive.