Chapter 2

2

I gnoring Brenden, Siasia turned to her friend. “I’m out,” she declared, not caring about her unwanted guest.

Ally smirked. “I bet you are.” She reached in to hug her girl.

Ally and Siasia both worked at the club together. Where Ally was working to have extra money as a broke college kid, Siasia was working to pay for classes and to take care of herself. Their worlds were very different from one another but they loved each other more than anything. Ally was in college off scholarships and Siasia was barely in college. She had yet to go to school for consecutive semesters and at twenty, she was barely a freshman.

“Hmph.” Champ, Ally’s friend crossed her arms over her chest. “You know he has a girlfriend, right?”

“I didn’t know it then, and I still don’t know it. It’s like you never said it,” Siasia sneered.

She wasn’t a fan of Ally’s friend but tolerated her because she never wanted to make her girl have to choose between her friend groups. She couldn’t promise that she didn’t have an ass whooping waiting in the cut, for the one-time Champ really got beside herself.

Brenden’s pale hand rested at the small of Siasia’s back. “I’m paying double tonight,” he announced, not caring about anyone hearing their private conversation.

Champ cackled.

Siasia’s stomach bubbled.

Ally yanked her friend towards her. “Brenden, not tonight. I need her,” she continued to pull Siasia as they found the nearest exit. When she felt Champ’s presence, she grilled her. “I’ll call you later.”

“What did I do?” Champ whined with her hands in the air. “You always picking her side.”

“Because she’s not childish enough to make me do it, like you are. Now, I will call you later.”

Siasia didn’t gloat nor did she feel like she had won. Brenden’s words knocked her back to reality. There was no shame in her—okay, well, maybe just a little shame. But still, she usually held her head high. The issue tonight was, she hoped to be just a college girl; not her usual hoe-self. Brenden reminded her that there was no difference between the two. Siasia was both—a parttime college student and a prostitute. The party was in a college student turned party promoter’s top floor apartment. Their descent down the stairs was silent as the music in the background faded out. Every few steps, they passed other students. When they made it to the parking lot, Ally held Siasia’s hands.

“I love you… every version of you. Okay?”

Siasia nodded. “And I love you too. Thank you for never judging.”

A short breath escaped Ally’s lips. “Girl, please. I would never do that. I know the real you. The you the world doesn’t deserve. And the same people so quick to judge you, really want to be you. Now, I don’t know what Qamar’s fine ass said to you but get up there. I have a good feeling about this one, girl.”

“Well un-feel it. That nigga trying to get the same thing Brenden’s white ass was just trying to get. The only difference is this nigga upped the wage.” Siasia pursed her lips.

“All the more reason for you to carry ‘yo ass to wherever he told you to be.” Ally reached in for a hug. “I love you though and be safe.”

“I will, friend.”

“Oh and let me know when you get to him and when you get home.”

“Okay.” Siasia unlocked the door to her car, using the key.

The key fob needed a new battery but it was too expensive for her to replace it at the moment. With the amount of money Qamar was about to give her, she would be able to replace it and get the four new tires she needed. It took her car a few tries for the motor to turn over but after a few prayers, it cranked up. Her old Toyota Camry had seen better days but she was going to drive it until it caught fire. The radio didn’t work and she didn’t have a fancy screen on the dashboard like the new cars had. Still, Siasia was thankful for her reliable transportation.

Lynn Beach University had been voted one of the best campuses in the country because of its lush green lawn and street-lined palm trees. Lynn Beach was a college town that had a large tourist population. The surrounding large cities also added to the city’s economy, so for many reasons it was the perfect beach town for singles, college kids, and families alike. It was home for her. Born and raised, Siasia dreamed of traveling to other places and once the opportunity presented itself, she wouldn’t hesitate to explore the world beyond Lynn Beach.

Rounding the last corner of the parking garage, she finally made it to the top. Qamar stepped out of his Corvette looking good as hell. Siasia chewed her lip as she parked, leaving a parking space between their cars. Hesitantly, she exited the car.

“I thought you was going to leave me hanging.” Qamar smiled; his light brown eyes twinkled under the stars.

Her longs legs carried her to him. Standing at five feet, five inches without heels, she stood almost eye level to him in her four-inch, thigh high boots. “I don’t play when it comes to my money.” Siasia held out her hand. “Money first.”

Qamar’s head fell back. “Oh, you don’t play about that paper, huh?” He went to the trunk of his car where he kept a bookbag filled with five thousand dollars. It was his just-in-case money.

Siasia watched his every movement, always on alert due to her profession. When he returned with the crisp blue faces, she relaxed. “Thank you.”

“You thought I didn’t have it?” His thick brows rose in anticipation.

“I mean I knew you were good for it but assumed you would want to Cash App it to me or something.”

“You take Cash App?” Qamar asked.

“Hell no.” She laughed with him joining her.

Silence surrounded them, before his deep voice pulled her eyes to his. “Come chill with me,” he suggested.

“Where?”

“Anywhere. Where you want to go?”

Her eyes went from his retro Jordans to his crisp fade that tapered into freshly retwisted locs. His features were novelesque—his strong jawline that made his beard look perfect with beautiful golden-brown irises housed by sexy ass, downturned almond eyes. A dangly diamond moon earring hung from his ear, looking like it cost more than everything she ever bought or owned in her life. The softness in his eyes eased her wandering mind, telling of a story that she was safe with him.

Feeling like the least she could do was give him the night of his life for the amount of money he paid, Siasia agreed, “I’ll go wherever you take me.”

“My girl.” He smiled, showing off his perfect teeth. “What’s your name, anyway?”

“Siasia.”

“I like that. It’s unique.”

“So is Qamar.” Her eyes sparkled with a flirty laughter. “What does it mean?”

“It’s Arabic for moonlight,” he explained before pulling the passenger door open. “Get in.”

“Don’t be bossing me around.” Siasia rolled her neck playfully.

The car sat so low, she had to lean down to get into it. The leather was as soft as cotton and the seat warmers aided in the cozy vibe. Shimmying, she contained her squeal of being in such an expensive car. Leaning across the middle console, she pushed the door open for him, causing a shocked expression to cross his face.

Qamar couldn’t contain his own glee. No girl had ever done something so small, yet so meaningful for him. The gesture felt enormous and warmed his pecan-colored skin, showing his flushed cheeks. Needing to shake himself out of the weird fog he found himself in, he licked his lips—something he did often to cool his body down. It was his personal little quirk.

“You got the seat warmed for me like you knew I would take a ride with you,” Siasia teased. “Your car is nice, though.”

“I like yours too.”

“Oh, you trying to be funny?”

He grinned. “Nah! I’m dead ass. I like the simple shit.” He laughed, placing his hand on his stomach.

“But you’re driving a hundred-thousand-dollar car on a college campus… yea, you’re real humble.”

He studied her, wanting to ask what she called the hairstyle she sported. It looked like a wrap but had cute and colorful hairpins around it. It was so eclectic and paired well with her round face and fresh style.

“Damn.” He palmed his chest. “You judging?”

Before she could respond, the sound of her phone ringing cut off her reply. Her eyes bucked when she noticed her little sister’s name flash across the screen.

“Noodle?” Siasia answered, pushing the car door open. Her stomach clenched before she knew what the issue was. A few seconds passed before she said, “I’m on the way. Go to your hiding spot, Noodle.”

“Everything okay?” Qamar’s asked concerned.

Siasia didn’t respond. She pushed the money he’d just given her into his lap. “I have to go.”

“Nah, that’s for you, mama.”

“To fuck you… I can’t fuck you tonight, Qamar.”

Hearing her confess to what Drake told him she was, cut his heart. Lightly, Qamar gripped her arm. “That ain’t what it was for. Take the money and drive safe, Siasia.”

Her slanted eyes seared into his, searching for a flaw. Her heart galloped in her chest when she didn’t find one. “I don’t take handouts, Qamar.”

“Good because I don’t hand shit out.”

That brought a smile to her disheveled face. Nodding, she exited his car, praying her car cranked up on the first try. Relief filled her when it didn’t show out in front of company.

Siasia tapped the horn when she pulled off, speeding to get home to her little sister.

Pulling up to her trailer, she heard loud voices and cries. It was the norm for her but it hadn’t hardened her heart to the point of being unfazed. Siasia still prayed for a better life for her mother, no matter how strained their relationship had become. She killed the engine, tucked the money in her glove compartment, and got out. The closer she got to the stained front door, the louder her mother’s cries became. That wasn’t her concern at the moment though. Noodle, her little sister, whose blood couldn’t make them any thicker was all she was worried about at the moment.

“I need that money for the light bill, Stacy!” Siasia’s mama, Cynthia, yelled before her voice became muffled.

Peering into the small kitchen, Siasia shook her head at Stacy’s hand around Cynthia’s neck. It took everything in her to not clock him upside the head with something. The last time she did it, her mother got so pissed at her. After that, Siasia made sure she kept her hands to herself. Directing her focus to her left, she walked towards the room she shared with Noodle. They had outgrown the two-bedroom trailer the second they stepped foot inside. Then, when Stacy brought Noodle home, it got even more cramped. At ten years old, Siasia took one look at Noodle and realized she loved her as if her mother birthed her herself.

Cynthia met Stacy when Siasia was about seven years old. In the beginning, he was the sweetest and Siasia looked forward to having a father figure in her life. Two years later, the abuse started. Then, Stacy declared he wanted a baby of his own so when Cynthia couldn’t get pregnant, he came home one day with his newborn daughter in his arms, claiming her mother didn’t want her. And like the good southern wife, Cynthia was, she took his oops baby in without question. Her decision fueled by her PCOS and age, making her body struggle to carry a baby of her own for her man. Now, Siasia was twenty; ten years older than Noodle and everything she did, she did it with her little shadow in mind. The plan was to become one of the best photographers in the world and give her little sister the life she deserved.

“Noodle?” Siasia called out into the dark room. She noticed a tiny light under the closet door where they would often go to pretend that life was better than it actually was. It was their wardrobe that took them to Narnia.

“It’s me, Noodle,” Siasia announced as she opened the closet door that was barely hanging on.

Noodle’s bright, innocent eyes peered up from Siasia’s laptop. “Hey.” She smiled as if there wasn’t a live action wrestling match going on in her kitchen.

Squatting to the floor, Siasia crossed her legs before pulling Noodle into her side. “Hey, my girl. You okay?”

“Not really.” Noodle twisted her lips as if Siasia had said the weirdest shit. “But these photos always calm me down and help drown out their bullshit.”

“Noodle!” Siasia snickered. She didn’t agree with her ten-year-old sister cussing but who was she to stop it? Their lives were anything but politically correct.

“He gambled all our money and wants Mama to give him the light bill money to pay off Sleeze,” Noodle filled her big sister in, even though Siasia had already kind of figured it out.

Siasia sighed, her chest deflating. She was tired of their living situation and wished her mother could woman up and leave Stacy but that was too much, right? Cynthia came from a generation where having a flawed man was better than having no man at all. Siasia would never understand it. It was the main reason she didn’t date. She fucked, got paid, then ducked.

“I can give him the money,” Siasia confessed, thinking about the money from Qamar.

“No!” Noodle snapped. “You need that to buy a new camera and get new tires.”

“The one I have, has been working just fine. It won’t hurt to hold onto it a little longer. It’s either that or be without lights.”

Noodle nodded, knowing her big sister—who was also her protector—was right. Their lives weren’t set up in the way to be able to move things around one month to get something you really wanted. Their parents moved shit around every month which meant everything was always on a disconnect notice. Their parents’ room door slammed, which was the universal sign that their fight was over. If memory served Siasia correct, Cynthia was in the room trying to see how damaged her face was, and Stacy was in the living room sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand.

“Stay here, Noodle,” Siasia directed before getting up from the floor.

With her head held high, she marched into the living room.

“Hey, Siasia, I didn’t see you come in.” Stacy smiled like he wasn’t just whooping on her mama.

It was their family’s weird dynamic. Stacy loved Siasia but she couldn’t love him back knowing he kept her mama with permanent black eyes. In the beginning, she loved him so much. Now, it felt like she was betraying her mother even though Cynthia had long ago betrayed her by staying.

“How much is it?” Siasia asked with no time for all the small talk. The more she looked at him the more she wanted to pay someone to off his abusive ass. Stacy sat up in the worn pleather recliner chair that had been dubbed his from the time he bought it.

“What you talking about, baby girl?” he feigned dumb.

Her eyes cut to the sky before she put them back on him. One thing Siasia was going to do was look people in the eyes. Her mama used to joke that she could walk the biggest bitch down with her eyes alone. “How much you owe Sleeze?”

“Don’t worry about that, baby girl. I got the money.”

“So, our lights gone get cut off again?”

“I let you talk to me sideways but that shit is about to stop today, Siasia. I am your father.” He stood up, his height towering over her.

Stacy was a tall man. He stood at six feet, seven inches. Before the monster in him was revealed, she thought he could’ve been a model. She had so many images of him from over the years when he would model for her to practice posing. Now, she saw nothing but the ugly parts of him.

“How much is it?” she asked again. “I have some money so everything can get handled. I will handle it, Stacy.”

“I used to love when you called me daddy. You know I love you like you’re mine, right?” Stacy’s wet eyes almost made her believe him but flashes of his fist print on her mother’s face tarnished any good feelings she once had for him.

Seeing she wasn’t for his bullshit, he confessed, “Three grand.” Shame washed over his face.

Siasia turned to the front door to retrieve the money. When she came back in the house, she slammed the money on the worn plywood coffee table in the middle of their matchbox living room. “This should be enough to keep your hands off my mama for the next week.”

There was no thank you or head nod from Stacy. She was used to the encounter. Anytime she made money it was often handed over to Stacy to help pay his debts that he always seemed to have or pay bills. There was hardly ever any money left over for her to enjoy. The whole dynamics in the house was weird because Stacy was a good dad to Noodle. Noodle loved him so much. They often spent time together just the two of them. For that, Siasia never made a big fuss about footing the bill for everything when there was two able bodied adults in the house. When it came to making sure Noodle was happy and healthy, she kept a lot close to her chest.