7. Beautiful Moments

Chapter 7

Beautiful Moments

NIKA

The next time I woke up it wasn’t Thorin in my room, but his wolf. I jerked back immediately, covered my sensitive neck, and pulled my legs in to cover my belly. His wolf whined pitifully and slowly climbed down off the end of my bed where he had been curled up.

Once he was down, he glanced back at me again and howled a miserable sound before he stomped off to the door, used his mouth to one it, and then left. It perplexed me that he would show up as his wolf, who I no longer trusted, versus the man who owed me an explanation.

It was obvious he felt bad about what he’d done, but it wasn’t something I could just forget or brush off. My fingers touched the healing mark that Thorin’s wolf left on my neck. Normally, the mark would turn into a thin silver scar that was barely raised from the skin. Mine would look horrendous for life. It was jagged, torn, and would remain that way unless I went to a skilled surgeon to fix it. That was something I couldn’t do, as I didn’t know any shifter surgeons and going to a human one was out of the question.

I was about to climb out of bed to go tend to my needs in the bathroom when I noticed a piece of paper on the bedside table.

I picked it up and scanned down to see who had left it only to find Thorin’s name there. My hand shook as my eyes moved back to the top.

My Dearest Nika,

Words cannot convey how sorry I am for what happened. There are really no valid excuses that can be offered, but I would like to explain.

I wanted to do this in person, but when I came to your room last night, you were already asleep. There was no way that I would force myself to disturb you, so I chose to write this out instead with the understanding that you might hate me more after you have the full picture of what happened the day of your rescue.

Just before you emerged from the forest, I confronted Aiden. I don’t know how to tell you this, sweetheart, and it truly shouldn’t happen in a letter, but this seems the best way. Aiden is dead. He forced my hand with a challenge, and I took his life. The crazy part was that he didn’t even put up a fight. It was like he had given up or something. Avery came forward to take over the pack. I’m not sure how he is doing. The council has been sent to handle that situation.

The minute you walked out of the woods, nothing else mattered. You are aware that my wolf took over and in my shifted state, I sought to remedy the situation.

Admitting this could potentially have me put down, and if that is what you choose to do, I will walk willingly into that consequence. It’s the least I can do for you after taking your choice and after seeing the damage my wolf did to your beautiful body.

I’m so sorry, Nika. Something is fractured between my wolf and human side. Maybe I took too much time to find my mate. I’ve been in charge of this pack for two years now, and my wolf has pulled away from me a few times. Once to go find you and again to claim you without permission. I understand if you hate me and don’t want to be my mate now, and I’m truly sorry if by taking Aiden out of the equation, I ruined a chance for you to have a moon-blessed mate.

I’m so sorry, Nika. I won’t even ask for forgiveness because I don’t deserve it. I will abide by whatever you choose from here on out.

Thorin

A wet splotch appeared on the paper and I raised my hand to my face to wipe away the other tears there before they spilled onto the letter. After I folded it and tucked everything away in a drawer, I slowly moved to the bathroom. My entire body ached as though I had been in a fight for my life, and I supposed in some ways I had. The tension and fight or flight response I’d been stuck in for days on end had left my muscles bunched into tight balls of stress.

My head injury had healed, my neck had as well for the most part, but there was still the matter of my heart. That was left with a worse ache after Thorin’s letter. He was right, it was an awful way to find out that my childhood friend was dead. Despite how things turned out with Aiden, I couldn’t help but to remember the sweet boy who used to smile at me bashfully as he followed his father around the pack. His head was always more in the clouds than it was on the task of learning what his father had to teach him and maybe that was part of the problem all along.

Aiden may have been the oldest male in his family, but the Alpha position should have gone to Avery all along. It was something that should have been plain as day to anyone who watched them, but I supposed tradition trumped logic sometimes.

My mind wandered to the inevitable, if Aiden’s parents had been notified. Where were they? They hadn’t died, but why would they leave the pack to their son who wasn’t mated and certainly not ready yet? It felt like they should bear some of the guilt that Thorin obviously heaped upon his own shoulders for everything that took place.

His wolf’s whine came back to me over and over again as I took care of cleaning myself up. As each drop of water from the shower hit my still sensitive neck, I wondered if he was truly regretful for what he had done. I also wondered if the wolf and man were as fractured as Thorin felt they were. Two incidents quite a while apart didn’t mean that they had lost connection. Unless those were only the two that Thorin remembered because they were major events.

There was no way I’d turn him in and let him face the council as a mad wolf. He was correct in thinking they would put him down. Besides, if what he said was true, he had literally come straight from an Alpha challenge that ended in the death of the other Alpha. It had to be bloody, not to mention the power dump that came with the death of the other Alpha. Even if Thorin didn’t claim Aiden’s position, some of the deceased wolf’s energy would still transfer to him as he had been the one to defeat him.

When I put everything together, the kidnapping, what Thorin must have gone through, what Janella had explained had taken place when I went missing… It all made for one hell of a traumatic experience. I could almost understand his wolf’s reaction.

There were more questions I needed answered too. No one had explained to me what happened to Miriam yet, and that was something I desperately needed to know. I wouldn’t feel safe so long as she and her cohorts were running amuck in the pack. It hadn’t just been Miriam who helped Aiden take me. Her family had been in on it. Her husband, some of the women who were always around her, and then Aiden. Since my former potential mate was dead, there was no way to know exactly how he had become tangled in their web. When he held me captive in the cells, he made it seem as though they offered him the opportunity to take me. If that was true, I had to wonder who else they might offer an opportunity to.

I chuckled some as I rinsed the soap from my body. The hot water helped to relax some of my muscles as I pictured Aiden inviting those old shrews to be part of his Alpha’s harem. It made for an entertaining picture and a good way to let go of some of the tension that hurt to hang onto.

When I got dried and ready to leave the bathroom, I realized that I hadn’t even considered what I would wear before I took a shower. I had to wrap a towel around my body as I made my way back into my room.

“Oh, sorry!” A man called out. I noticed Warren duck back out of the room, but he left the door cracked just enough that he could speak to me. “I came to let you know the pack doctor wanted to come check in on you one more time. He seemed to think you’ll have a clean bill of health this time. At least, as far as the physical wounds you bear. Everything else may take some time.

I found a pair of sweats in a drawer and quickly put them on along with a t-shirt that was too big for me. This was not the room I stayed in before I was abducted from the pack. It was larger and far more masculine. If I had to guess by the scent, I’d say it was Thorin’s room, but considering he had spent time in the room when I slept, it might just be that he visited whenever I was asleep, so I woke to his essence all around me.

After being held prisoner on Mirage Island, then held captive in the cells beneath Aiden’s pack, you would think that the first thing I’d want to do was to get the hell out of the bedroom I’d woken up in upon being brought back to the Grasslands Pack. I couldn’t bring myself to do more than stare at the solid Oak door though. Whatever awaited me beyond there, I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t ready to face Thorin, his wolf, his pack, or whoever else wanted my time. The only person I really cared to see was Janella and that was because she felt like the only family I had left.

Everything had been explained in Thorin’s note, and I knew that he hadn’t lied. There was no need for him to do so. Still, it felt as though there were still pieces of the puzzle that had gone missing.

Why had Aiden’s parents abandoned him to a post he wasn’t ready for?

Why had he formed a harem?

Why had Thorin’s pack members been so averse to me?

Why would Thorin’s pack help Aiden to gain a moon-blessed mate to help lead them instead of wanting the same strength for their own pack? I knew that Miriam had done something to keep Thorin from his first moon-blessed mate, but her daughter was no longer alive. It made no sense to continue to do so because it would weaken the pack eventually.

Why me? Why had the gods seen fit to place me in the center of this mess?

More questions plagued me as I sat on the edge of the bed and stared into the space between me and the dresser where I had found the clothes I put on.

A knock at the door startled me. I didn’t bother to answer as the door swung open anyway. A young woman stepped in and offered me a kind smile, but I no longer trusted those.

“Sorry to bother you, but Alpha Greywolf sent food for you.”

“Take it back,” I ordered. It brought the woman up short and she nearly spilled the tray in response.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I will not receive food from strangers.” Normally, my response would have been kinder, but I knew how easy it was to taint everything. I hadn’t just been hit over the head before. Something had made me woozy and off balance long before I’d been assaulted and kidnapped.

“I swear to you that I would never do anything to the food I bring you. You are to be our Luna.” The woman’s hurt feelings bled through her words and while I could taste the truth of her words on the air, I refused to hear them.

“I mean no offense to you, but someone from this pack poisoned me and then attacked me before I was taken. I refuse to trust anything brought to me that cannot be readily inspected.” I glared down at the plate of food open to the air and even passers by. It hadn’t been covered when removed from the kitchen. Anyone who passed the woman could have slipped something onto the food. For that matter, someone who worked in the kitchens might have tainted it before she picked it up.

Her eyes welled with tears. “I am so sorry that you have been left with such a horrible impression of our pack. I promise that nothing has been done to your food since I picked it up, but I understand your worries and will bring you something else. I’ll even taste test everything for you, if you like.”

I gave a sharp nod and the woman backed out of the room again and closed the door. I didn’t want to be the crazy woman who feared everything brought before her, but how could I trust anyone?