8. Grant

"Are you sure about this?"she asks me.

After a sleepless few nights, I feel like a walking zombie, but there was no way I was going to let her down.

It's Saturday, and I'm driving us across town to the park where the welcome home party is being held. I would love to skip this, but there's no way I'm going to let myself. The last few days, Jane and I have tried to get into a routine. She works during the day doing medical coding from her laptop at home, so she's been around the house. I've been doing odd jobs like patching up the porch, fixing some cabinets in the kitchen, and the like. Jane has done an awesome job with the house and maintained the upkeep, so there's not a lot to do.

I yawn and shake my head. "I'm sure."

"You're not sleeping," she accuses me.

We haven't talked about the other night, and we should. She's been really guarded since then, and it's obvious she's worrying about me. I told myself that I was going to be the man she needs, and right now I feel like I'm about to fall apart.

I've barely slept, and when I did, I've woken myself up from the night terrors. The longer it continues, the more ill at ease I feel about being in the same house as Jane. "I'm fine," I lie to her.

I park in the parking lot and see all the flags and people standing around. I'm completely on edge but force a smile to my face. "Let's go."

I get out of the truck, and before I can get around to open Jane's door, she's out and meeting me at the front of the vehicle. "It's not too late. We can turn right around."

I grit my teeth. "I'm fine."

We walk toward the party, and as we get closer, the applause starts. I want to turn around and leave, but I stay because I know that Jane would be mortified. I wait until the clapping stops before I start to talk. "Thank you so much for this party. It really means a lot to me that you did this. I also want to take this time to thank each and every one of you for looking after Jane while I was gone. She's mentioned how much her friends mean to her and we both—" I reach for Jane, engulfing her hand with mine. "Well, we both really appreciate your friendship."

There"s more clapping, and then people surround us, hugging Jane and shaking my hand. Right when I think I'm about to lose it, I get to the end of the line and then walk away, hoping I can get a few seconds' reprieve and go unnoticed.

Jane's eyes follow me, but I smile and nod at her, hoping to let her know I'm okay.

Someone puts a beer in my hand, and I take a sip of it. Some of the men gather around me and are talking about the new mechanic shop that's opening in town, but my eyes never leave Jane. She's lit up as she talks to her friends, and I wasn't lying: I really am thankful she had them when I was gone.

Everything is fine until a man in cowboy boots and hat walks up to her. He hugs her, and even from where I'm standing, I can tell her smile dims. I excuse myself from the guys I'm standing with and make my way to Jane. She jerks when I put an arm around her, but once she realizes it's me, she melts against me. "Grant, honey, this is Raymond. He's done some work around the house."

There's no hiding my surprise. "He has?" I look at the man that's openly staring at my wife. "What kind of work did you do at the house?"

He shrugs, and even though he answers me, he keeps his eyes on Jane. "Put in a new window when the neighbor"s ball went through it."

I nod and can feel my jaw cracking as I watch the man devour my wife with his eyes. I pull her behind me and force a smile to my face. "I do appreciate everything you've done at the house, but now that I'm home, I'll be taking care of anything Jane needs."

His jaw drops before recovering quickly. He smirks at me and lifts his beer to his lips. After a slow swig, he lowers it. "Right. I understand. It was good to meet you." He tips his hat. "Janie."

When he calls her by a nickname, I take a step toward him, but Jane grabs me around the waist. She plasters herself to me and shakes her head. "No, don't, Grant. He's not worth it. Let it go."

I make it through the rest of the party without any mishap. At the first sign of the party dwindling down, I make a break for it after thanking everyone again.

The whole ride home, I'm quiet and trying to contain my rage.

We pull into the driveway, and I follow her up the steps to the house. I need a few minutes to calm down and plan to go out to the garage, but she stops me. "Are we going to talk about this?"

I should hold back, I know I should. "Sure, let's talk about it. Raymond wants to fuck you… or has he already?"

She rears back as if I've hit her. "You asshole."

She walks away from me, and she gets down the hall before I come to my senses. "Jane."

She doesn't stop, though. She stomps up the stairs, and I follow behind her. "Jane, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

She turns so fast I almost run into her. "But you thought it. You seriously thought that I would do… that… with him?"

She's a step higher than me, making us face to face. "No… I don't know… He wants you and he has a fuckin' nickname for you."

She laughs, and it sounds cynical and etched with pain. "First of all, yeah, he wants me even after telling him that I was married. Some men are just dumbasses."

I go almost blind with fury. "Did he touch you? I'll kill him."

"No, Grant, geez, listen to yourself. He didn't touch me. He's a harmless flirt. He's been here one time, and I didn't even hire him. The neighbors felt bad about the window and sent him to fix it. I didn't even know he'd be there today."

"He talked to you like you were close… like—"

I stop myself, unable to even say the words I'm thinking. The thought of another man touching Jane drives me mad.

She grabs on to my shoulders. "Listen to me, Grant, and listen good because I'm not going to say this again. In the last seven years, you're the only man I've let touch me. You're the only man I've wanted, the only man I've slept with."

It feels as if I've run a mile instead of just standing here talking to her. She doesn't understand how I feel about her. The thought of another man touching her makes me crazy. "I'm sorry—" I begin.

She shakes her head side to side. "You were right, Grant. We don't know each other. You don't trust me. You fucked me the other night, and since then you act as if you can barely stand to be around me." She starts to cry in earnest. "You say you want me, and you act like you're jealous, but I'm standing right here. I'm in your house. I'm wearing your ring, and you act like you don't even want me in your bed."

"It's not…" I start, but she doesn't let me finish.

She puts her hand out. "Please, don't follow me. I need some time to myself. I need to think about things."

She turns and runs up the stairs. I can hear her sobbing as she slams her bedroom door. I've completely fucked this up, and I'm not sure how I'm going to fix it.