11. Jane

Something wakes me up,but I'm not sure what. I lift up and immediately wonder if Grant is having another nightmare. I stayed up for as long as I could last night, hoping after Grant's therapy appointment he would come talk to me, but he never did. I stayed in my room to give him space. I feel as if I've hovered over him this last week, and I'm not sure if that's what he wants or not.

I try to listen to the sounds of the house, and it's jarring to realize there's someone in the room with me.

When his soft snoring sounds in the room, I can't help but smile. I climb quietly out of bed and make my way over to where he's sleeping.

He has my notebook held against his chest, and he looks completely at peace. My palms itch wanting to wake him up, but I resist. I know he's not been sleeping well. I grab a blanket off the foot of my bed and then tiptoe back over to him. I lay it gently across him, and I think I've succeeded in not bothering him until his eyes open and he reaches out from the cover, grabbing my wrist.

"Hey. I'm sorry for waking you up."

He leans up, staring at me. "You mean hey, husband?"

I refuse to be embarrassed. "Yeah… hey, husband. I'm sorry for waking you up."

He pulls me down onto his lap, and instead of resisting, I tumble on top of him. It's not graceful, but I don't think he cares. He holds me to him like I'm precious to him, and I burrow against his heat. He kisses the top of my head and then rests his chin there. "I love you, Jane."

I can't contain the gasp. I pull away and search for his eyes in the darkness. But before I can say anything, he continues. "Don't doubt it. We've already wasted so much time, and I don't want to waste another second. I love you, and I think I knew it the first time I laid eyes on you and demanded you marry me. There's going to be hiccups, and I know I'm going to mess up along the way, but I promise to make sure to show you every day that I love you and you are the most important person to me."

I hug him tightly and then pull back to search his face. "I love you, too. I know you've read it already, but I have to tell you. I love you."

He caresses my cheek with his hand, and I lean into him. "So I need you to promise me one thing."

He nods and blurts out, "Anything."

I move the cover between us and flatten my hands to his chest. "No more sleeping apart."

He starts to shake his head, and I put my hands on each side of his face. "Husband…" I start.

He grips my shoulders. "I need you safe."

I shrug, feeling the warmth of his words. "Yeah, I know, and do you know where I always feel the safest? In your arms. Don't deny me. If you have a nightmare, I promise you that I'll make sure I'm safe before I wake you."

He doesn't want to, that much is obvious, but it looks like he's giving in. "I've dreamed of you sleeping in my arms."

I put it all on the line. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

He pats my hip and then squeezes it. "Let's go."

I rear back in surprise. "We're going to sleep together?"

He laughs, puts my notebook on the table beside us, and stands up, still holding me. I laugh and shriek. "Grant, you're going to drop me."

He nuzzles his face into my neck. "Nope, you're pretty precious to me, wife. I would never drop you."

He carries me to the bed and lays me down. I pull him down on top of me and hold on to him.

He laughs as he tries to bear his weight on his forearms. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here with you."

He pushes the hair off my face, and his smile is gone. "I really do love you, Jane. I know I've messed up, but if you give me time, I'm going to make it up to you."

I wrap my arms around his neck. "I love you."

He leans down and presses his lips to mine. We get lost in the kiss, and he lies down, half on top of me as he shows me just how much he loves me. He pulls back, breathless. "I loved reading all the letters you wrote me. There's only one thing we may need to talk about."

I suck in a breath and nod my head.

His fingers are playing havoc with me as he caresses my breast through the thin material of my night shirt. "What?" I croak.

"You said you wanted to wait to have babies… you do know we didn't use protection the other night."

I've thought about that too, but I was too afraid to bring it up. "Yeah, I know… are you okay with that?"

He doesn't hint at what he thinks about it. His face is void of emotion. "Am I okay with getting you pregnant?"

I nod and don't even try to talk.

Grant rolls over, pulling me on top of him as he goes. "I'm all in, wife. And if we did make a baby, we'll have nine months of just the two of us. We have a lot to make up for."

Unsure, I search his eyes. "We've never talked about kids… do you want them?"

He leans up to kiss me. It's a kiss filled with emotions so thick I could cry from it. When he pulls away, he reassures me, "I want it all with you, Jane. Everything. I want your heart, your body, your kids, your future. I want it all."

I laugh and kiss him again. "It's yours. I'm yours," I stutter.

And he spends the rest of the night claiming me.