Chapter 5 | Justine

Chapter 5

Justine

What in the heavens is wrong with me? When Markas started kissing me (because I kissed him first), every thought in my head flew away. The only thing that mattered was the feel of his body, and his mouth on mine.

I slide my hand through the evening wear rack. I can barely focus on shopping because I just made out with my enemy, who also saved my life today, and who’s trapped with me aboard a luxury spaceship. It’s a lot to process! I should be taking a moment to reflect, instead I’m thinking about the kiss.

When I was doing it, it seemed like a fine thing to do. Amazing even. Not like the worst mistake I could possibly make. Of course, I could pretend that it was all part of my plan to keep Markas by my side. But I think we all know that’s not true. Markas knows it’s not true. Uggghhh.

“See anything you like?” He winks at me, and it takes everything I have not to kick him in the shins.

“No.” I try to keep my voice flat, but it comes out rough, like I’m still totally turned on.

How can he tease me when I’m an emotional mess? Is he just being mean by pointing out my weakness for him? No. That’s not what this feels like. It feels like regular flirting. Is he some kind of monster?

I rifle through the beautiful dresses and pantsuits on the rack and grab a few in my size. I’m too flustered to look carefully at them.

“You should pick something out, too. You look like you took a roll in the mud today,” I say.

He looks down at himself and nods.

“You’re right. I was so busy watching you, I forgot about myself.” He grins at me.

His tone is rueful, like he’s sorry to embarrass me with his messy appearance. The nerve of him! Why can’t he just be a cold bastard underneath it all? Not cute and flirty. It was his sweetness that first attracted me to him, and here it is again. How can he seem so sweet and sexy on the surface and be so loathsome at the core? Can I really call him loathsome after he saved me from that truck?

He grabs a few suits and more casual pieces. The temperature on the spaceship is like a breezy summer day on earth. He’d look good in short sleeves or no shirt at all. The less clothes, the better. Now I want to kick myself in the shins.

“Let’s try on our clothes at the same time. We can show off our outfits to each other,” he suggests. He’s playing his part as the doting newlywed perfectly, but I’m finding it difficult to keep up.

“You’re impossible,” I mutter.

“Just trying to be the best husband in the galaxy.” He steps closer, daring me to argue. But I can’t. I won’t. It’s not in my best interest to argue, just like it’s not in my best interest to fall in love with him again. How can I go through the motions of love without accidentally falling or overcompensating into hatred? I want to turn away, but Markas is still talking, his voice pitched low just for me.

“Think of this as a makeover. That’s right up your alley, right? I’ve been wondering if someone out there doesn’t want you returning to Xanx. I’m certainly not welcome there. Maybe we should try to look a little less like ourselves for the rest of our journey.”

My stomach drops as I process his words. I never considered that anyone but Markas wanted to hurt me. But what if it’s true? He’s always denied stealing my identity. What if someone else wanted to trap me on Lemargo?

“The truck,” I blurt.

“It’s possible. Until we know for sure, we should be extra careful.”

I nod, feeling scared for the first time. Could I have misunderstood everything that’s happened in the last three months?

“Try not to worry too much right now. It could just be a coincidence.” He touches my arm gently. I’m torn between wanting to sink into his arms and run away.

“Right,” I say, but I’m still stressing hard.

“Why don’t you focus on our hair and makeup? I can pick out the clothes.” He points towards the shop next door. “That’s one of those Beauty Emporium stores, right? You should be able to find what you need there.”

I glance over and see the distinctive blue lettering on the storefront. It’s been ages since I visited a Beauty Emporium.

“Yeah. That will work.” My heart’s still beating fast, but even my fear can’t stop my love of makeup. There are no Beauty Emporiums on Lemargo, and even on Xanx I couldn’t afford to shop there often.

“Here’s your credit chip.” Markas hands me the heavy metal disc. “You can also charge it to our cabin. Get whatever you want. We can afford it. Meet me out front in an hour?”

I make a snorting sound and nod because words are failing me. For the first time in my life, I can buy as much as I want at a Beauty Emporium. It’s a dream come true, except it feels more like a nightmare. Someone out there might be hunting me, and the only person I can trust is the least trustworthy person I know.

I could just leave here , I think. The Excelsior is still docked. I could just walk right off the ship now and go back to The End of the Line Cafe. I didn’t officially quit. I didn’t tell my landlord I was leaving either. I could go back and pretend like none of this had happened. But then what? Would I have to hide myself away in Lemargo for the rest of my life?

No, I can’t do that. I’d rather confront whatever is behind all this and go home with my head held high. I turn towards the Beauty Emporium, then glance back at Markas.

I wonder if he’ll keep up his side of the bargain. There’s a good chance he’ll make a run for it. I bet he’ll steal my bag, too. If he does, the joke’s on him. I’ve got his identity graft stitched into the lining of this jumpsuit. I turn back towards the door and stride forward. For now, I’ll take Markas at his word and indulge in some retail therapy.