Chapter 3

Aramon

There was a party going on in the mess hall, and I was loath to miss out on it. I loved a good party, and I loved the brawls that always came from them even more. Solear grinned wickedly at my departing back, and I could sense how much it entertained him that I was missing out. “Fine, whatever,” I said, though he couldn’t hear me from across the room. I waved a rude gesture that got the message across perfectly and made several of our crewmates laugh.

“It’s not like we don’t take down assholes like Batok on the regular anyway,” I muttered as I stalked to the nearest elevator that could take me to the bridge. Restlessness coursed through me, but that was normal; I hated being between missions. Today, though, I felt another layer of tension that I couldn’t place. I did not like delving into my thoughts to unravel them—I preferred avoidance.

I wasn’t the same male as before, not now that I’d met her. S olear was in denial, but I had no need to do that, this was everything I’d ever wanted. It was surprisingly simple to follow my thoughts to where they needed to go: Mitnick and his human mate had shown us the footage of Batok’s downfall. The diminished and nearly starved Hoxiam had been dragged from his ship by Kertinal warriors. It had given me such an immense feeling of satisfaction to see that, while at the same time, it made me feel upset that I had no hand in it.

Evadne was the reason. That bastard had killed her guards one by one and held the threat of death over her head for weeks on end. He had captured her, hurt her, and for all of that, he deserved far more than to rot in a cell on Ker. I wanted to kill him with my own hands and punish him for every hurt, big or small, he’d inflicted on her. My woman.

My fists were still clenched into tight fists by the time I stalked onto the bridge, any mood for a party vanished. If I didn’t have an obligation to my captain, I would have gone to the hallway with her quarters. My feet itched to lead me there, and after this meeting was over, I knew I would go. Just a glimpse of her, a hint of her scent, and I’d feel calmer, more settled.

“In here,” Asmoded called out, pulling me from the bridge and into the office that sat off the ready room. I passed the long conference table and glanced at the seat that the captain normally occupied at the head. Mitnick told me that our visiting royalty had taken that seat in a meeting this morning. It had angered Solear, but it had amused me. Sure, I didn’t like it when anyone disrespected the captain’s authority, but I liked her pluck.

My captain sat in his chair behind his desk, the long coils of his Naga body looped around him and sprawled beneath the heavy granite slab. His mate sat on the corner of the giant desk, perched against the gleaming black stone with one hip, her equally black hair tucked behind one dainty, curved ear. The captain had the tip of his tail looped around her hip, hugging her without arms, and I liked how that looked. They were a unit, a solid, united front. I got it now, and I really wanted it for myself. I was going to have that with Evadne. Sure, she was a princess—that was going to prove a little problematic—but I’d make it work.

“I’ve got a mission for you,” the captain said bluntly when I sat down in the chair in front of his desk and propped my feet up on the edge. He didn’t say anything about that, though usually, he’d use his tail to nudge my feet back to the floor. His gold eyes briefly eyed the toes of my combat boots, but unlike normal, he had no paperwork or datapads spread out on his desk. In fact, his desk was suspiciously empty, and Mandy’s clothes were suspiciously rumpled. I sniffed deeply, trying to filter through the scents, but my sense of smell was not as good as that of many other species in the quadrant. I still imagined I could pick out hints of sex, and I started to grin.

“What kind of mission?” I asked, eager for it. Anything to focus my wildly spinning mind on would be good. I was used to being all over the place, and I tended to lean towards hyperactive, but the past two weeks had been extra crazy. Anymore of this, and either Solear or I was going to end up in another fight. Maybe it would be the two of us together, like in the hangar bay. Remembering that still made my stomach twist painfully, a sour taste filling my mouth. I hated fighting with my brother.

“You’ll be Princess Evadne’s personal bodyguard,” Asmoded said, his tail nudging his mate a little closer to him. She wasn’t looking at her male but staring at me as if she thought the answers to the universe were written on my forehead. If she thought I was going to have some kind of response to that news, she was going to be sorely disappointed.

“Fuck yeah,” I agreed. “I can do that. How much does it pay?” Inside my head, a little voice laughed at the question. Pay? I was already watching her all the time; I’d guard her pretty body for free. My response was entirely in line with what the old Aramon would say, and it didn’t feel out of line with the new me either, if I were honest. I did know that I wanted that job with the kind of fervor that would have worried me if I’d seen it in any of my crewmates.

“Enough,” Asmoded said dismissively. “That’s not important. Listen, she specifically requested a multi-disciplined male, one capable of piloting any vessel in case of an emergency. That means you. Here’s the catch,” he paused to lock eyes with me, leaning forward in his chair so I knew he was being serious. Mandy did the same, her mouth twitching as if she was trying to battle amusement. “The only way you can remain close at all times, and that includes the negotiations the Princess is attending, is if you are her fiancé.”

Fiancé? I tried to wrap my head around that word for a few long, drawn-out seconds. Asrai were practical people; we sensed the bond, we consummated it, and that was that. Done for life. No paperwork required. As far as I knew, the Xurtal weren’t that much different. They had a mating drive, mating marks even. They were very demonstrative with their females, often with very public displays of affection. My cock grew hard just thinking about doing any of that with Evadne.

“Come again, sir?” I said, and Mandy clasped her hand over her mouth, muffling something that sounded very much like a laugh. She did not think I could play the loving male? Or did she think I could not do that for a posh, fancy female like a princess? Ah, princess. Now the word “fiancé” made sense—that’s how it went for royalty. It was a much bigger deal when you were in line to rule a kingdom. I tried to picture myself at the side of a queen and fell short. Okay, fuck, that would suck so much. I’d go nuts if I had to live in a fancy palace...

“You must pretend to be Princess Evadne’s male-to-be; she will be your betrothed. It is the only way you can protect her inside the meetings and in her bedroom at night while on Ov’Korad. You understand?” I had known Asmoded long enough—over half my life—to recognize that the tone of his voice indicated he was holding in laughter. What was it with these two? Why did they think this was funny? But I loved mischief and chaos; I couldn’t fault them for loving some themselves. I appreciated it, even.

“Just to clarify, sir, you want me to pretend”—the word pretend twisted awkwardly in my mouth—“to be her male in order to protect her?” I thudded my boots to the floor and spread my arms wide to indicate myself. “You do know who you’re talking to, right?” I had never passed, and doubted I ever could, for anything worthy of royalty. I wanted it very badly, but they didn’t know that, and I would never tell. Not even Asmoded, who I trusted with my life.

“That’s right,” my captain said with a nod, serious now. “She requested someone with your skills. You’re the only option. It means a prolonged separation from Solear. Can you handle that? I can’t assign him to the general protective unit; he’s not stable enough right now. If you don’t think you’re up for it, let me know right now.”

“I’ll do it,” I snapped too quickly. I rose from my seat and started to pace, my eyes flicking from their faces to the walls, the door, and the viewscreen that displayed the stars outside. They were both quiet as they waited for me to gather my wits, but I wished they weren’t. I didn’t like the quiet with my wildly spinning thoughts.

The captain was right, Solear was getting more unstable, and it made me ache to think I might be losing him. I hoped that mating with a female would bring more calm energy into our bond, but it felt like he was fighting everything tooth and nail. He didn’t like change, and there had been a great many changes of late.

My eyes flicked to Mandy and her pretty, exotic eyes, her pale skin, and rosy cheeks. She looked so soft and so tiny, but she held so much power in her palms. She held our captain’s heart, and she had altered the way he ran the Varakartoom and the crew. Starting with the rule change about mates aboard the ship, and including the family time Asmoded now took with his mate and his son, Saisir. Those changes were tough on me, so it was no wonder Solear was losing it. And then there was Evadne and what she made me feel. I hadn’t told Asmoded, and I usually told him everything—too much, if you asked him, but better too much than too little.

“And Solear? Do you think he’ll manage?” Asmoded asked, with a genuine concern that I had to give a proper moment of contemplation. The truth was, I didn’t know. I could sense him through our bond, and he was feeling mellow and happy, courtesy of the good wine and the bad ale Brace was serving in celebration of Batok’s capture by the Kertinal empire. That kind of calm could last for days or change to anger and frustration in a heartbeat. The truth was, Solear had never healed from what we’d gone through as teenagers. I didn’t think he ever would.

“I will talk to him,” I said firmly. I did know that I was doing this anyway. If I had to step aside and let another male pretend to be her fiancé, it would definitely drive Solear over the edge, it would drive me over the edge. That was my woman, and no one else.

I barely listened as the captain outlined the details of the mission and my backstopped identity to go with it. He had already sent the details to my com device—he always did—and I’d study them later. I heard the pertinent things: stay close at all hours, never let her out of my sight. The mission would not start until we arrived on Ov’Korad and landed at the spaceport in Akrod, the capital city. Until then, it was going to be my task, and Solear’s, to get us to the planet as fast as possible to make up for lost time.

By the time I was dismissed, I was eager to go, and they were eager to see me go, I was sure. My body couldn’t sit still, and my pacing always got on people’s nerves. I could still sense the way Mandy’s eyes had tracked me all across Asmoded’s office by the time I’d located Solear. He’d left the party and was punching a bag in the gym with determined focus and a wild, feral grin on his face.

“Bro… We need to talk,” I said when I reached the edge of the mat and wriggled the tips of my toes against it. “It’s important.” Solear rarely spoke out loud, and he never spoke to anyone but Asmoded or me. Today, he did not let his eyes stray from the punching bag, his posture perfect as he landed blow after blow—shoulders up around his ears, fists raised in front of his face. I could only see his back, but I knew his expression would be grim, his mouth pulled into a snarl.

He’d sensed that I would be leaving him for a while, and it had sent him into this mood. I hated that, and it made me bounce anxiously on my toes as I watched him pummel the living shit out of the bag. “No,” he growled, speaking out loud because he’d blocked me from his mind. He never did that, and it had felt like a slap in the face when that wall went up.

“Come on, wouldn’t you do the same if you were in my shoes?” He ignored me, punching the bag with even greater frequency. He hadn’t taped his knuckles, and now I started to worry he was breaking the fine bones in his hands with the force of those blows. “Fuck, bro!” I broke the cardinal rule of the gym and stepped onto the padded mat while still wearing my boots. My fist closed around Solear’s shoulder, and I yanked, pulling him away from the bag before he could connect with another strike.

The vicious, angry growl he directed at me was loud enough to make my ears ring; it would have made anyone else flinch back. I held firm because I knew in my heart that no matter what, Solear would always have my back. “I’m not leaving you,” I said. “I would never leave you. You are NOT alone.”

His fang-filled snarl abruptly stopped, but he snapped his teeth in my face to drive home the point. “It’s always been just us two,” I said, because I knew, even without our bond open, that’s what he was thinking. “And that’s not going to change. You’re my brother. I love you.” I let the feelings of loyalty I held for him fill my chest, fill my mind, and pushed them against the wall he’d put up between us.

“Liar!” he said, but then his red gaze lowered, and he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine. The bond between us opened a crack, and then all the way as he greedily pulled in my feelings and let them chase away the darkness in his own mind. Nobody understood Solear the way I did, and nobody but the captain knew that he was half feral only because he feared being alone so damn much.

“I’m not lying,” I told him. “Having a mate doesn’t mean I’ll turn my back on you. It means there will be more family for you to lean on—more people you can trust. I promise.” He didn’t want to believe me; he didn’t want to share me. I could sense that in his thoughts. But I could also feel his love for me and his desire for my happiness. It was probably the closest he would come to accepting the new situation.

“Listen,” I said. “I’ll be on this mission for a week at the most. After that, the negotiations should be over and done with. You know me—I couldn’t sit through more of that crap anyway. I’ll be back before you know it. And if you need company, the captain will be here. You trust him. He’ll give you what you need.” I firmly made myself believe that because I could not let Solear sense any of my doubt.

Solear gave me a short nod, but I could feel that his mind was still in turmoil, still uneasy. He didn’t give me a chance to say more, to offer him more assurances. It wouldn’t work anyway. He stalked off, proverbial hackles raised, and stormed out of the gym without a backward glance. His mind wasn’t filled with anger now; it was fear that controlled him.

I could chase after him; we were nearly always together, and these past two weeks had been an odd break from that. He had every right to be angry. Huffing, I shifted my weight back and forth and contemplated punching the gently swaying bag myself a few times. Violence tended to make me feel better; it was a good outlet for the wild feelings inside of me. But I had a feeling that nothing would help until Solear and I had made peace.

Turning on my heels, I fully intended to head for the deck where Evadne’s quarters were located, but I jerked to a surprised stop when I caught sight of the Sineater leaning against a wall next to the door. That sneaky male was watching me from beneath his lowered brow, arms crossed over his chest. At his feet, his symbiont was sprawled in the shape of a Riho, easily three times the size a real Riho could be.

Rihos were clever, cute pets, coveted all across the quadrant. His symbiont managed to make the very definition of cute appear feral and mean—sinister. I had to be in a deep hole in my head to be disturbed by this pair. Unlike most of the crew, I normally didn’t give a shit what they got up to. Sin was loyal to the captain; that was the only thing that mattered.

Giving him a glare, I started to walk past him, and then I wondered if he was here to feed on the negative emotions Solear and I were feeling, or if he simply wanted to berate me for walking on the fucking mats with my boots on. The chaos-loving part of me liked either option, and of late, Sin had seemed to delight in sowing his own brand of madness.

“I know what you did with Mitnick,” I said, recalling how the Sineater had instigated a fight and prodded the normally rational male’s mating instincts, “but it’s not gonna work with me.”

Sin said nothing, but he raised one eyebrow, a sardonic smile curling his lip. That smile said, “Are you sure?” I bared my teeth at him and stalked past, my hand curling in a rude gesture behind my back. I could hear the dark chuckle that was his response; it echoed after me in the corridor. Unease crawled down my spine.