Chapter 9

Aramon

I did not want to complain when my woman was hugging me this tightly, but it had been five minutes since the last male left, and still, she clung to me. Not in the sexy, I want to tear your clothes off kind of way, but in the I’m desperately hiding something fashion. I wanted to know what secret had come unraveled, and what she was afraid I’d discover when she let go.

Fashion fiasco my ass. Princess Evadne would have a much more elegant way to deal with such a situation; she wouldn’t hide in my arms. She had burrowed against my skin, her face tucked against my sternum, and her hands pressing against my back. Her fingers were cold and clammy, and this room was anything but freezing. I was starting to get worried, and then Solear was starting to get uneasy because he sensed my worry.

“You’re going to have to come out of there at some point, Princess,” I joked. I didn’t like the silence now that everyone was gone, but mostly, I didn’t like how quiet my clever, brazen princess had gotten. This wasn’t the same female who had verbally sparred with me back in the shuttle cockpit. “Come on, how bad can it be? You want me to shut my eyes?”

She sighed and then nodded against my flesh, her breathing tickling along my ribs. “Yes, please. That would help.” Wait, she actually wanted me to close my eyes? No way. I swore I wouldn’t let her out of my sight; it wasn’t happening. My arms tightened around her as my mind spun. How many buttons had come undone? All of them?

“Nope,” I said, drawing out my denial with a satisfying hiss that I was certain did not translate the way it should. “You’re going to have to face me. Come on.” I slid my hands down to her hips and gently began to push. I didn’t really want to break the contact between us; if it were up to me, there’d be even more full-body contact, but this was important. I had to know what was going on.

She ducked her head down, the long green strands of her hair covering her face. Stubborn female. I opened my mouth to taunt her, to say something stupid so she’d get her hackles up. A little fire would do the trick; I’d prefer her mad over sad any day. I should’ve known that she was braver than that. Her chin came up just as I opened my mouth. I was staring into her face—her familiar, beautiful face—and everything clicked in my head all at once. “You’re human.”

I did not know what to think of that; there were a lot of things I was uncertain about. She seemed to be thinking a lot of things herself, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, her eyes huge in her pale face, shiny with unshed tears. “Yeah… I am,” she murmured, still in the Xurtal language. “You can’t tell anyone; it would be the end of these negotiations. It would have devastating consequences. No one can know! Promise me, Aramon! Promise me you won’t say anything.”

I was nodding before she’d even finished talking, my fist rising to tap against my chest with a firm thud. “Of course, I swear. Your secret is safe with me, princess.” My words did not have the desired result; her eyes got even shinier, and then the tears spilled, rolling down her pale pink cheeks. She was lovely as a human, as lovely as she’d seemed to me as a Xurtal female. The sight of her tears made panic take hold of me that I couldn’t squash.

Her sadness was overwhelming. I felt it push against my mind, filling my chest until I felt heavy and sad myself. It spilled into the bond with Solear until he filled my mind with questions—questions that silenced as soon as he sensed Evie’s tears. You cannot let her cry, brother. It was the clearest, most enunciated thought I’d ever received from him.

“Don’t you get it?” Evie said as she backed away, slipping from my grasp like water. Pacing across the room in her slippers, she seemed to need an outlet for the heavy feelings that filled her. “I’m not a princess, Aramon! I’m human; I can’t be the princess. The princess is fucking dead. Oh, damn it… Evadne is dead.” She shuddered, her shoulders shaking, and then she was sobbing.

Oh, fuck. What did I do? I followed after her, pacing across the room at her side while I begged Solear for help. You’re asking me? Are you nuts? I’ve never even spoken to a female… He had a point. He was no virgin, but I had always done all the talking for him when we crawled from pub to shady dive to bar in search of company and fun. Solear knew even less than I did about crying women.

“I know that,” I said, raising my palms in a surrender gesture. “I know that,” I repeated when she glared at me through a hunk of dark green hair and a fall of tears. “But it doesn’t matter, does it? I certainly don’t give a fuck. A job is a job.” But this wasn’t just a job; this was my mate I was talking to, and she sensed some of that. She had to. Truth was, I couldn’t give a Batan’s ass what the color of her skin was or where she’d come from. She was mine, the only thing in the universe that I could ever claim, and I would. I knew what was in her heart—or at least, I thought I did—and that hadn’t changed.

“I’m not Evadne,” she said, spinning away to cross from the fancy-legged chair to the tiny couch. The short distance did not seem enough, and she did it again, and again. Fists balled at her sides, her feet kicked furiously as she walked, but the soft slippers made very unsatisfying, gentle swishing noises. It wasn’t like my boots as I thudded after her with every step she took. She tossed a glare over her shoulder, ruby eyes glimmering. “And it’s not fair. I can’t even stomp around in these stupid shoes.” She raised a dainty foot and flicked the gray fabric slipper from it, followed by the other. Then, she wriggled her tiny toes against the silvery-white marble floor.

Her shoulders still trembled, her jaw was gritted, and her breathing shuddered, but she was controlling the sobs now. I felt a wave of relief at first, but the pain-filled look in her eyes made me think this change wasn’t a good one. She was bottling everything back up, sticking her heavy emotions behind a brick wall. I could feel how they retreated from my mind, how the weight lifted from my shoulders. Solear offered me a soft touch of approval, as if he thought I’d done something right. But this wasn’t right—it was very not right.

“Stop,” I said. “Come here,” I added when she didn’t stop her pacing, now barefoot, which made even less noise. She glared at me, so I kept following in her steps, my legs eating up the distance between us in a few strides. Then I caught her by the arm and spun her back against my chest with a twirl. That made her gasp in surprise, but she did not retreat when her hands touched my bare skin. “I don’t care if you’re human or Xurtal. I’d still like you if you were a fucking Rhico. I’ve got your back, Evie. I promise.”

Only once the words had left me did I realize that some of her upset might be because I didn’t know her name. That would do my head in if people kept calling me by the name of a dead person and expected me to be them. She didn’t tell me not to call her Evie, though, but instead slid her arms around my middle and hugged me. That felt right; holding her in my arms felt like the best thing in the world. I couldn’t believe she was seeking my comfort, I was the least likely person for such a thing.

I stroked my hand along her spine, up and down in a soothing rhythm. It eased my mind as much as it seemed to help her. Her breathing became slower, deeper, and eventually, she started to talk. “I don’t think I’ve given myself a proper moment to really grieve Evadne’s death.” It was jarring to hear her speak the name of the princess and not be referring to herself, especially when she spoke of death. It made my spine tingle with the urge to do violence, the beginning stirrings of an instinct to avenge my mate. But my mate was not dead; she was right here, in my arms where she belonged. This was a chaotic, confusing mess, and not the kind that I enjoyed.

“She made me promise, you know. On Batok’s ship, before she died. She made me swear I’d see these negotiations through to the end, that I’d save her people. Out of all her guards, only Theronix survived. So much death...” She shuddered, clearly overwhelmed by bad memories. Her sadness was not pushing against my brain the way it had earlier, but I could almost taste the darkness she’d gone through. Her words evoked the shadows from my past, pulling forth the taste of ashes, the sounds of the dead and dying. I had not been the one trapped beneath the rubble, but that fear, that panic clawed at my mind for a few terrible seconds.

All this time, Solear had been quietly observing from the back of my mind, offering his silent support. This was too much for him. His thoughts spiraled as, like me, he got trapped in the past—the memories. Unlike me, he couldn’t find his way out of that spiral without help, but he didn’t want mine this time. Care for your mate. Then his walls went up, and I sensed a complete withdrawal, one that would no doubt precipitate a rage born out of his trauma and fear. Find the captain. I tried to shout it after him, psychically, but I didn’t know if he heard.

“Aramon?” Evie whispered against my skin. “Are you okay?” She lifted her head, and I got trapped in her still watery gaze. It made no sense to me that a hug was all she’d needed to help, but it did seem like she felt lighter. The pain was gone from her ruby eyes, and her expression was softer, smoother.

Shaking my head, I didn’t know how to answer her question. This wasn’t about me; I wasn’t the one in turmoil or pain. Now that she felt clearer, my memories easily faded to the back of my mind. Solear was the one in trouble, but how could I explain that her sadness had sent him into a spiral? I lifted my wrist to touch my com device, my fingers flying as I hurled a message through the airways toward my captain. That was the best I could do from here, but it didn’t seem enough.

“I’m fine. It’s my twin that worries me,” I said eventually, only because I never minced my words, and she deserved to understand how this worked. Dealing with one Asrai nearly always meant dealing just a little with his or her twin as well; our lives were very intertwined. “My senses got a little overwhelmed with your sadness and that… eh…” I didn’t want to make her feel bad when she already felt so sad, and I also didn’t want her to feel sorry for either of us. The past was the past.

“Tell me,” she demanded, and I had to smother a sudden grin. Back to acting like a princess. She might claim she wasn’t one—and I could see this was true—but she sure knew how to act like one. I’d forever think of her as my princess. Then my thoughts were buoyed by the prospect of our future, which now seemed far less complicated.

“I should tell you?” I asked, laughing. “You’re the one who just revealed the biggest fucking secret ever. Come on, you owe me an explanation first.” I did not let her withdraw when she started to push against my chest. Picking her up was child’s play; I carried her out of the seating area into the bedroom and sat down on the fluffy mattress with her in my arms. “Come on, tell me everything. You can trust me.” And then, because she seemed unopposed to my touch right now, I gave into the urges that rode me hard. I leaned down and nuzzled the side of her face, then nipped gently at the edge of her ear.

She shivered, and thousands of tiny bumps raised everywhere along her flesh. That was interesting; I didn’t know skin could do that, and now I wanted to see if I could do it again. She laughed, a soft, unrestrained giggle that made my pulse race and my cock twitch inappropriately in my pants. Truthfully, I didn’t care if it was appropriate or not, but instead of pursuing my desires, I focused on the issues at hand. “Is your device broken permanently, or can we fix it?”

“I don’t know yet. Let me check,” she said, then shifted across my thighs as if she intended to get up. That, I was not going to allow, and my arm tightened around her slender waist. A growl rattled from my throat, catching her by surprise; she raised startled eyes to my face, her mouth dropping open. “Okay, I’ll check from here.” Her lips tilted into a smile, and I latched onto that. Her mouth was pink without the disguise, as were her cheeks, but the rest of her skin was pale as cream. I wanted to lick her, everywhere.

She slipped her hand between the buttons of her jumpsuit, touched her belly, and then fiddled with something. When her hand withdrew with a look of triumph, she was holding a tiny, shimmering gold pendant with a small red gem. I bent my head to study the tiny object, and she did the same. “I’ll try to reset it and hope for the best.”

As she fidgeted with the device, she gave me the answers I needed: the whole story. I did not think she left anything out as she spoke, and my mind filled with sympathy and anger. If I could, I’d reach back in time to hold the tiny girl she’d been when she first arrived on Xurtal. She should have been cherished, but she had been made into a weapon and a shield instead, all because her name, Evelyn Mordew, and face were similar to that of their princess. I wanted to barge out the door and snap Theronix’s neck for forcing my mate to be in harm’s way, to be the decoy for assassins. They had played with her life; they did not deserve her.