Chapter 5 - Bigby

Rosa is inconsolable.

I've heard every single curse word out of her mouth since I dragged her back to the town square. People passing on the sidewalk are starting to look. Typically, humans stay out of our way and out of our business. Still, Rosa's performance is going to prompt someone to believe we're genuinely hurting her.

My heart squeezes with the terror and chaos rolling off her. I feel nauseous from the intensity of the emotions. Without touching Rosa or Kaila again, we managed to get everyone into the old bar and off the street so we could reduce the chance of an onlooker calling the local police.

They'll check with Aris first, but it's not a good look to have to insist you're not kidnapping a woman and her child when that's what she's screaming to anyone who will listen.

Rosa is crouching in the corner, still holding Kaila—who's conked out. Olivia crouches next to both of them, saying something softly, but Rosa keeps shaking her head. Olivia looked exasperated, and I think she'd urged Rosa to come with me back in California. I wonder if she remembers me and knows the exact details of why Rosa and I aren't together anymore.

"Dude," Aris says, rubbing a hand over his face. His face is creased with worry, and he keeps glancing over at the women. Rosa is sending daggers in our direction. "I don't know how I feel about this."

"I hate it," I say, meeting his eyes. "But Linnea said she needs shelter."

"Sure doesn't look like she wants shelter."

"My guess is that she's running from her dad. Alpha in California. You thought Varun was bad? I heard that Amon skinned his own brother alive . To prove a point. Guy didn't even do anything—not that there's a thing on this planet that would compel me to do that to another shifter. Varun was flawed and a little crazy, but Amon is a psychopath. He wouldn't have run from that battle by the cabins—he would have come, teeth bared. He would have lapped up our blood from the dirt after he killed us."

"You think he's strong enough to kill us?" Aris asks, raising an eyebrow. His face is a mix of horror and, weirdly, respect. Now that Aris is alpha, I see him constantly comparing himself to the other alphas he meets, determining his strength.

I did see Aris single-handedly kill Varun, but the images of Amon are hard to ignore. I shake my head. The man Amon was when I left California would beat Aris in a fight.

"I don't know," I mutter, "the guy is older now, sure, but some alphas just get stronger with age. I haven't seen him in almost a decade, man. All I'm trying to say is that, yes, keeping Rosa here is bad, but letting her go is sending her to certain death. At least, with the scent cover here, she's somewhat safe. And if we can get her to go underground? It just feels like the only solution."

"You seem really invested," Aris says, narrowing his eyes. He glances at Rosa again. "How, exactly, do you know each other?"

I sigh, rubbing my neck. In the past twenty-four hours, everything has changed. I've realized Rosa is my mate and I have a child. And Rosa won't even look at me, let alone talk to me about our situation. She must have felt the mating bond strengthening when we saw each other again.

Aris is my best friend, but admitting what I did is too difficult. Abandoning Rosa was the hardest thing I ever had to do—but I never would have, in a million years, if I'd known she was pregnant. Part of me hates her for keeping that from me. A much, much bigger part of me hates myself for not knowing.

Apparently, Aris could tell immediately when Linnea was pregnant, but his instincts differed from mine. His are stronger from being alpha and from their blood bond.

"We knew each other in college," I finally settle on. It feels too hard to tell him the whole story. If I'm being honest, I wish I could forget the whole story.

"Knew each other?"

"We dated," I say, changing the subject, "where is Linnea? I feel like she would be much better at handling this."

"She's a town over. I thought it would take you longer to get back from California, so I went to do a house call for a pregnant woman from the neighboring pack. She delivered this morning, and Linnea is on her way back—get this, she had triplets, first like that Linnea had ever seen, and they came out in their wolf forms."

"That's fascinating," I say, a brief spark of curiosity surfacing in my brain before I remember my situation. I don't have time to do research on anything. Rosa lets out a loud, unhinged-sounding laugh, and I glance in her direction. She flips me off. Olivia puts her hand to her head.

"She really hates you," Aris says, slowly looking away from Rosa. "Like, a lot. Especially for people who dated in college ."

"Yeah," I sigh, running a hand over my face roughly. "I mean, yeah. It's a huge, tangled fucking mess. I can tell you about it later, but right now, it's like—it's like my body is scrambled, the way she's acting. It's like this…bombardment of emotions."

Aris's eyes widen, and I curse under my breath. I didn't mean to let that slip, but it's a feeling I've never experienced before. Aris switches to communicating through our pack bond.

You're mates?

I'm not sure , I say, avoiding his gaze. It shouldn't feel so strained—if anyone knows about being mates with someone who hates you, it's Aris. But he and Linnea were getting over a bit of bullying in high school. I glance at Rosa, who has tears running down her cheeks. Our situation is a bit different. My gaze tracks to Kaila. A lot different.

If you know, you know , Aris says, letting out a low whistle through his teeth. Shit, man. Not a great situation.

Thank you, Aris.

He grins at me, punching me lightly in the arm. Despite the circumstances, I can sense that he's happy for me. Finding your mate isn't something that every shifter gets—only about ten percent of all shifters find their mates, and not all of those are great love stories. Which is evident in the fact that Linnea is setting up a women's shelter for shifters at all.

Sometimes, the person you're mated to can be the person you hate most in the world. There's not a lot of research on it, but my hypothesis there is that love and hate aren't actually opposites—they're both opposite extremes on the continuum. This means apathy is actually the opposite of either love or hate, and the two emotions are closer than people think.

I imagine it like how, if you walked in a circle around the world, you'd end up in the same place you started. Get far enough away from something, and you're on top of it again.

"She's close," Aris says, and I see Ado visibly relax on the other side of the room. He seems very uncomfortable in this situation. I can almost feel how much he wants Linnea to come in and take over so Rosa can calm down.

Olivia is crying now, too, as the women talk to each other softly in the corner. Every once in a while, I feel Rosa's eyes on me, but I keep my gaze on the table. I don't want to upset her any more than she already is.

A moment later, the door opens, and Linnea walks in, her dark curls piled up onto her head. She's breathing hard. I feel Aris immediately relax next to me at the sight of her.

"Okay," she says, glancing quickly at Rosa. "All of you, get out of here."

Aris, Ado, and Byron all stand, turning to leave, but I stay put. Linnea fixes her gaze on me.

"You, too," she says, almost like a teacher talking to a naughty student. I stand, but my body physically aches at moving further away from Rosa. I want to take her in my arms and help to comfort her. It's excruciating to know that I'm part of what's causing her pain.

Aris locks gazes with Linnea, and something seems to pass between them. As she looks at him, Linnea works her hair out of the hair tie. After a moment, Linnea looks back at me, her eyebrows raised.

"It will be okay," she murmurs; somehow, it's comforting. Coming from Linnea, it's more than a platitude. "I promise. But I need you to leave her for now. Until she can calm down. You know the way you feel about her? She feels that toward Kaila times a thousand. It's making her act this way."

I roll my lips and bite down hard, pushing away from the bar and following Aris out into the sunshine.

"It's gonna be okay, buddy," he says, and I push him away. He laughs loudly as we head back toward my Jeep.

"It's better when your wife says it," I say, then dance out of his reach when he tries to cuff the back of my head.