Chapter 21 - Byron

When I was in college, I lived in a dorm building with one, stooped sink in the hallway that we'd all use for everything—to brush our teeth, wash our dishes, rinse out our water bottles. Every few days, I had to take my plates, bowls, and cups out to the hallway and stoop over that sink, back killing as I cleaned each one by hand.

The next year, I moved into an apartment with a dishwasher, and it was like my entire world shifted. Something I dreaded was suddenly simple, easy. No more back pain.

Sending to Olivia is like that. I close my eyes, easing into the feeling of our heads being together like this. It feels so natural, like sinking down into a worn couch, letting your entire body relax.

Olivia feels like home to me. I think back to my conversation with Percy, about his promise that he would never let what happened to me happen to our kids.

I know , Olivia sends back, crystal clear words dancing through my head. I'm going to try and push his face into your head now, okay?

Weirder words never spoken, I return, and I can feel her amusement through the connection. I sit still for a moment, trying to keep my mind as open as possible, trying to receive whatever she's trying to give me.

"You could also try something familiar to both of you," Rafael says, and the sound of his voice makes me jump like cold water was thrown over my body. I'd completely forgotten he was in the room with us. "That can help you ease into the projection. But also, some people just can't—"

"We can do it," Olivia says, reaching out and grabbing my hands. Something in my stomach warms at her competitiveness, and she never backs down from a fight. "I know we can."

We could do that day on the beach, I say, and a moment later, the images are flooding back to me, bittersweet and slightly painful, and I have to clench my teeth to keep from gasping.

I see this day through Olivia's eyes, feeling her admiration, love, and enjoyment. Feeling the haze of regret and sadness that hangs over each moment, applied by her mind in hindsight. I slip one of my hands from her's, reaching up to rub a fist against my heart.

It hurts. It's painful to see how much it hurts her.

In this memory, it's almost like I can feel her in my arms again, holding her above the water. Through her version of the memory, mine rises, and I feel my fear of being so open and liking her so much. That familiar vulnerability rising that if I truly opened myself to someone, they would leave, and I wouldn't have any part of me left for myself.

And then, it all comes back to me, rushing in, overwhelming memories, layered one on top of the other. The day I found Olivia trying to hack into the interface in the underground compound.

She was crouched in front of an entry-point tablet, her own tablet in her hand, a cord running between the two. I'd stared at her for too long, watched as she pushed the hair away from her face, how it fell over her shoulders.

Maybe I knew at that moment that she was my mate. Maybe that's why I debated turning on my heel and walking away. Maybe that's why I was equally relieved and devastated when I opened my mouth and spoke to her.

"You wouldn't be trying to get into the interface, would you?"

"You could have just asked," I said, typing in the code slowly so she could see it, grinning and how she tapped her fingers, clearly taking note. Smart.

"Changes every ten minutes," I said, winking at her.

"I'm Olivia," she said, and hearing her name for the first time was like being kicked in the stomach. I wanted to fall to my knees, gasp for air.

My heart was squeezing painfully in my chest, and I brought my fist up, rubbing at it, willing it to calm down on its own.

"Yeah," I said, knowing I was going to go home and learn everything I could about her. I'd tried to seem cool, interesting, as I backed away from her. Suave. "I know."

The memories keep flooding in: the sandcastle on the beach, me working on the intruder problem at Aris's house, back before I got my own place, Olivia staying there, too, her room across from mine.

Maybe that's when I realized we were mates. When I couldn't sleep because, I knew she was right there , just across the hallway, and all I had to do was get up and go to her.

Sitting in the chemistry lab with Rosa, Olivia was so close to me, constantly pushing me and hacking into the system just to get under my skin.

And it did. Those days, it felt like she was a permanent installation in my body, something nestled into my organs, delicate and vital and absolutely necessary to my continuation of life.

That night, in the pavilion. I see it through her eyes, feel the air leave her lungs, watch myself disappear into the trees. My entire body is aching with a deep kind of sadness, a loss. Grief.

Now, I gasp for air, letting go of her hands and pushing back.

"It's okay, it's okay, man, breathe ," Rafael says, and I feel his hands on my shoulders, pushing me forward, tipping my head up. My head is still full of Olivia, though the memories are starting to wash away like waves receding back into the ocean.

I'm an asshole. I can see that now—feeling what she did, seeing those memories through her lens, it's too much to handle. It feels like my brain is a blender, like I can't hold onto a single thought for more than a few seconds before it shreds into pieces.

"Byron," Olivia says, somewhere, but I can't see her because my eyes are squeezed shut. "Shit, Byron, you need to breathe!"

Is this a panic attack? Or a heart attack? Have the energy drinks finally caught up to me?

"Byron!" Olivia shouts, and I hear Rafael on the phone, and my heart is stuttering, stopping, squeezing. I feel Olivia's hand around my fist, stopping the movement of my hand where I was rubbing it into the skin of my chest. It feels raw, and I imagine there will be a bruise there in the morning.

Hey , she sends, which sends more of the images away. I'm sorry, I must have accidentally—

No , I say, sending to her because I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. Her voice in my head clears out some of the images, and I suck in a deep breath, heart slowing the tiniest bit. I did, too. Olivia, I'm so—

"Veronica says to take aspirin," Rafael says, running into the room, looking frantic. Some of his hair has come out of his bun, falling loosely around his face. He holds out the pills, and I take them, stretching up in the seat, trying to ease the pulsing pain in my chest that's coursing out and down my arms. "She's on her way."

Olivia disappears for a moment, and when she comes back, she stands behind me as I sit in the chair, her stomach pressed into my back and neck, her arms around me, holding me tight. When Veronica and Percy arrive, he waits in the living room while Veronica comes into the computer room.

She's in the middle of taking my blood pressure when I hear the front door open.

"Hey man," Percy says, his voice tight. "What—"

"Olivia called me."

A moment later, my brother is walking into the room as Veronica reports that I have extremely high blood pressure and a heart arrhythmia.

"Yeah," Zane says, eyes narrowing in on me. "He knew that, though."

" What ?" Olivia asks, her eyes going wide. She circles around the front of the chair, her eyes narrowed, her lips tight. She's pissed. "You knew ?"

"It's a genetic thing," I mutter, and when I reach for the energy drink on my desk, she snatches it away, shaking her head. Zane laughs, and I want to punch him in the stomach.

"Absolutely not!" she says, her voice edging on shrill. "You are done with these."

"It's a good idea," Veronica whispers, and Olivia calls Zane and Rafael into the kitchen with her, so they can help her pour the rest out.

"Those are expensive," I whisper, when it's just me and Veronica in the computer room, her taking my blood pressure again.

"Hey," she says, tucking some of her long brown hair behind her ear. She smells like lavender, but also like Percy. Her stomach is larger now, rounder, and I feel like shit for waking her up. "Percy told me what you said. About the vampire thing. I understand. I mean—I know how you feel."

"Yeah," I whisper. "Right. Sorry about that."

"We'll get through it," she says, pulling the blood pressure cuff off with a thwack sound. "That's what families do. Speaking of families—"

"Yeah," I say, sighing. "My brother. I don't know what he's doing in town."

"You know," Veronica says, her voice low. "I would have given anything to have siblings when I was a kid."

"Yeah," I say, swallowing through the lump in my throat. This might be a grass is greener kind of moment. Or it might be that I'm too focused on Zane leaving to recognize the moments in which he stayed.

Olivia, Zane Rafael, and Percy flood into the computer room, all shocked at the amount of energy drinks I had in my fridge.

"That is way too many, man," Rafael says.

"Do you eat food ?" Zane asks, eyes narrowed on me.

"What?" I laugh, letting my head roll back against the chair. "I just buy them in bulk!"

"Not anymore, you don't," Olivia says, crossing her arms and staring down at me. I close my eyes as the four of them whisper to one another, and I realize I always thought that when this finally happened—when my heart finally gave out on me—I'd be alone. Someone would find me slumped over my desk.

Instead, I'm surrounded by people who care. Who woke up in the middle of the night to make sure I was okay. Even my brother came when Olivia called him, and I was half convinced he'd have skipped town by the time I got around to calling him.

"Man," Percy says, his hand landing on my shoulder. "You have to start taking care of yourself better."

The rest murmur their agreements.

My pack.

My family.