Chapter 15 - Vera

“Why now?” Vera searched his face for the answer. “Why now, after I’ve given up hope? Is it just because you want me wanting you? Is it no fun anymore if I’m not interested?”

He flinched. “No, it’s not like that at all. I just realized what I was throwing away all because I was frightened, and I realized I'd rather risk being hurt than losing you.”

She looked down at her hands, unable to endure the look in his eye. He’d never shared so much with her. Never revealed the emotions that ran beneath the surface. It would be too easy to slip back into their relationship, which had felt carefree and easy because he would never admit if something was bothering him. Vera didn’t want that. She wanted it to be real.

The clock ticked loudly on the wall. Her bedroom window was open, letting in the breeze from outside and the promise of rain it carried. Being in that space still felt slightly surreal, a dream she was expecting to wake up from. Like one day, she’d be back in her old house, opening her eyes in her own bedroom to the blaring alarm that heralded the start of her work day.

It was hard to believe the way her life had shifted, and it still felt like the ground was shaking beneath her. Putting her faith in a man who had proved himself changeable was a risk. What would happen the next time he decided he wasn’t willing to work on their relationship? He’d walk away again, and she’d be left homeless, jobless, with her heart once again ripped out and stomped on.

“I know you don’t have any reason to trust me. Not after I left you.” Rami seemed to read the thoughts filtering through her mind. He reached for her hand, and when she didn’t flinch back, he laced his fingers through hers. “All I can give you is my word that I won’t be the one to walk away again. If we do this, I’m in it for good.”

She wanted to believe him. He was offering her everything she’d been longing for since the day he’d left, but she couldn’t shake the fear that this was some sort of deception. Like a magic trick, he’d whip off the sheet and reveal the truth underneath.

“I don't trust you,” she admitted. “How can we start a relationship when I can’t even trust you?”

Rami squeezed his eyes closed. “I’ll do anything to regain your trust. Let me prove myself to you.”

If this were happening to Moira, Vera knew exactly what she’d tell her to do. Run. Don’t trust someone who has already shown themselves to be untrustworthy. It was asking to get hurt all over again, and the second time, she’d only have herself to blame. Yet at that moment, with Rami on his knees, pleading for her to try again, she couldn’t find the conviction she’d imagined having.

“Is this just because you’re afraid of the curse? Some kind of protective instinct forcing you to keep me close? Because I don’t want to base our relationship on fear, either. I don’t want it to be our mate bond driving you to do this.” Vera tightened her grip on his hand, needing the reassurance of his skin against hers. “I want it to be a decision you make purely as Rami, the human, because it’s Rami, the human issues that drove us apart.”

He took her other hand and moved closer until his forehead touched hers. His brown skin was smooth apart from the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, the sign of a life spent smiling. She found them incredibly attractive.

“Vera, I swear to you this is not just a base instinct forcing me to possess you. This is my heart crying out for you, my mate, my love.” Rami’s voice was hoarse with emotion.

Had she ever seen him so distraught? The mask of stoicism he had worn as long as she’d known him had cracked, and for the first time, she saw the depth of his feeling for her. Love. He’d never said that word to her before. Her heart gave a foolish skip at the sound of it.

“Okay,” she breathed, sealing her fate. “Okay. We can do this. But you’re on a probationary period, got it? I expect some bumps along the way, but when I tell you you’re shutting me out, I expect you to make an effort not to. I need you to talk to me, Rami. I need you to let me in.”

He took her hand and placed it against his chest, where she could feel the strong thump of his heart beneath his shirt. “You’re in. You’ve been in. That’s what made this whole thing so frightening. Having someone mean so much to me that they could hurt me is terrifying.”

“I know it is.” She knew firsthand the havoc that person could wreak on a life. Her first brush with Rami had derailed her, shaken her world, and left her reeling. “But I think it’s worth the risk.”

“So do I.”

Her fingers moved to the bare skin revealed by the undone buttons at the top of his shirt, to the tangle of dark hair on his chest. His skin was warm and soft, unfairly soft for a man who never used lotion, stretched over the taut muscles there. Could he feel the unsteady beat of her pulse?

He tilted his head and caught her lips in a gentle kiss. A tentative brush that felt like a question. She answered it, catching his bottom lip in her teeth and teasing him closer. It felt new. Kissing him, touching him after what he’d revealed to her felt like a continuation of that openness; her heart and her body laid bare.

Rami seemed to feel it, too. Every touch was gentle, his fingertips tracing over her arm and up her neck to cup the back of her head, drawing her deeper into the kiss until he was all she could think of. Her body responded to him, heat flooding between her legs with the same sense of urgency she always felt when he touched her. Like no touch was ever enough.

“Rami,” she urged, unable to help the needy tone of her voice.

But he wouldn’t be rushed. He took his time kissing the side of her neck, her jaw, the curve of her ear, his hands on her back or her waist, but never where she needed them, no matter how she squirmed for it.

Vera caught the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head. His body was perfect. The product of hard work and good genes. The sight of him half-dressed rocketed up her need, but he caught her hands when she reached for his belt.

“Patience.” He held her wrists in one hand and pushed her flat onto the bed, moving his body over hers.

Using his mouth, he lifted her shirt and kissed his way up her stomach to the curve of her breast. He nibbled and sucked at one nipple, then the other, pinning her to the bed by her wrists. Vera needed more. Needed him to fill her until she couldn’t take any more.

She bucked up with her hips, desperate for contact. He moved his knee between her thighs, giving her something to grind against as he sucked her breast into his mouth. Her body moved of its own accord, rubbing against his thigh while the pressure built inside of her. Was she seriously going to come from dry-humping like a teenage boy? With his mouth doing that, maybe.

He released her wrists, and she grabbed for him, running her hands down his chest and finding his belt. She fumbled with the buckle, fingers shaky with need.

“Off,” she begged, tugging at his waistband. “Take all of this off.”

He laughed softly, huskily, and stood. The sudden absence of him was agony. She propped herself on her elbows to watch him slide his pants down. His cock tented the fabric of his briefs, and she crawled toward him. On hands and knees at the edge of the bed, she dragged her lips over his bulge, feeling the heat of it through the thin fabric of his briefs.

His fingers tangled in her hair, breath catching. She mouthed him until she couldn’t wait a second longer, hooking her fingers in the band of his briefs and pulling them down. His cock sprang free.

She couldn’t wait to taste him. Her tongue ran up and down the length of him, lapping at every inch of him until precum started to run from the tip. Swirling her tongue over the head, she savored the salty taste and the way his fingers tightened around her skull.

He pushed forward, sinking into her mouth until she couldn’t breathe and didn’t want to. All she wanted was him. Her tongue worked the underside as he started to thrust in and out, giving her just enough time for a gulp of air before plunging back in.

She could feel him getting close. His breathing was ragged, and precum coated her tongue. Vera felt the slick coating her thighs, soaking her panties, completely undone by the feel of his pleasure and the knowledge she was giving it to him. It wouldn’t take much for her to come, just a touch.

Rami pulled free from her mouth. “Turn around.”

He didn’t need to tell her twice. She spun around for him, impatient. Rami yanked her shorts and panties off, pushing her down to her stomach with the force of it. His fingers found her slit, and he worked one, then two inside of her. She ground her clit against the bed, pushing back into his hand.

“So wet for me.” He curled his fingers just the way she liked, making her toes curl, the pressure building.

Just before she came, he withdrew, leaving her almost sobbing in frustration. She started to rise, to whine about the absence of him, but he pushed her back down with one hand, using the other to line the head of his cock up with her entrance.

“Not until I’m inside you,” he warned.

With a level of restraint she’d never possess, he sank slowly inside of her, not stopping until his hips rested against her ass. He pressed a little deeper until she ached with pleasure. His hands wrapped around her hips, lifting her slightly as he started to thrust.

Vera moaned against the bedspread, wishing she could watch his dick slide in and out of her, see the place where their bodies met and joined. He started to move faster. She grabbed the bed frame, pushing back to meet his thrusts with a desperation she’d never felt before, needing him, needing more.

His teeth found the nape of her neck. She gasped at the shock of pleasure radiating from the bite and the kiss he followed it with. It was all she could do to hang on as his unrelenting thrusts drove her into the bed.

He was close. She could feel it in the way his hips jerked, like something primal had taken over him, an unstoppable desire to fill her with his seed. Each time he pushed back inside of her, bottoming out against her ass, he drove her closer to the edge until finally, she bit down on the pillow to keep from crying out, her orgasm cresting over her with an intensity that made her head spin.

Heat prickled over her body, and she was boneless, the aftershocks of her orgasm rippling through her as Rami chased his own, not far beyond.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come.” He followed that with two deep, desperate thrusts, yanking her back by the hips to fully seat her against him. She felt his cock throb with the force of his orgasm, heard the ragged, stuttering breath he took when he could breathe again.

He lowered himself down, hovering just above her and planting kisses along her jaw, shoulder, anywhere he could reach. She turned her head and caught his lips, tasting the salt of his sweat and the sweet taste that was all Rami. Twisting to the side, she rolled them over, lying spooned in his big arms with his chest against her back.

She loved that post-sex feeling. The blissful soreness between her legs, the slick skin, the wrung-out feeling of an epic orgasm. And the closeness that came from it.

“Don’t you dare fall asleep,” she warned, hearing his breathing steady.

Vera spun around, chest to chest. His eyes were half-lidded and content, long hair mussed against the pillow. He blinked them guiltily.

“I wasn’t,” he protested, muffled against the pillow.

His full bottom lip was bruised from her kisses. She liked that. Liked leaving her mark on him.

“I know you. If you keep lying here, you’ll be asleep in two minutes. Come on,” she urged, glancing at the baby monitor. Jessa was still sleeping soundly in her crib, but who knew how long that would last. “Let’s rinse off before she’s up.”

He groaned, limp as a dead body, when she grabbed his hand and attempted to pull him from the bed. With him being nearly twice her size, it was a losing battle. Bracing her legs against the bed, she gave one valiant final yank and succeeded in sliding him one inch closer to the edge of the bed.

Huffing, she let go and put her hands on her hips. “Fine. But if you get up and shower with me, I’ll let you wash me clean very, very thoroughly.”

He perked up at that, leaping out of bed and dragging her toward the bathroom. “Well, when you put it like that.”

Laughing, she let herself be pulled along, leaning against him while he adjusted the temperature of the water. It still didn’t seem real. She could touch him whenever she wanted, and he’d turn and smile down at her, like he wanted it too. They were together. For a moment, the feeling of relief overwhelmed her and all she could do was close her eyes, pressing her forehead against his bare back.

“You okay?” He asked, concern in his voice. “Was it too much?”

She shook her head and turned him around, planting a kiss on that fat bottom lip. “It was perfect.”

The wrinkles smoothed on his forehead. “Come on then, I’ve turned it up to the devil’s own temperature, just how you like it.”

“Maybe you do love me,” she teased, climbing in.

He followed, letting her take the brunt of the hot water. It steamed and scalded deliciously, turning her skin bright pink beneath the stream.

Rami looped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, water dripping off his cheeks. His eyes were serious, holding hers. “I do, Vera, and I always will.”

Her heart swelled and cracked, the delicate wall she’d built around it to protect herself from him shattering. It melted away in the shower, and for the first time there was nothing between them. His skin against hers, their hearts beating in time, and Vera let herself trust that this time, it would be different. This time, it’d be forever.