Chapter 8 - Grayson

This could not be happening. There were literally no other things in this entire world that would be worse than MacKenzie going into heat right now. Goddamn it. This is a fucking problem .

But my wolf surged beneath my skin, my entire body thrumming with desperation and lust. I'd never felt it so strong like this, and I had to assume that because of the reignited mate bond, my wolf—my hormones—were that much more insistent that I claim her.

I am not going to fuck her. We need to get out of here.

My wolf just growled in my head as he paced back and forth. The combined power of Kenzie's and my scents was doing nothing to make this easier. My fingers itched to touch her more, to move my grip from her elbow to her breasts, to her p—

No, stop. We need to leave.

And yet, I wasn't moving. I was standing right there, still holding Kenzie up by the elbows, and she looked… rough .

I'd been around her heat before, and we all that that "birds and the bees" talk when we were little pups. Kenzie needed something to help her get through this, and if it wasn't going to be a wolf, it needed to be sedation and massive amounts of painkillers.

It was doing something to me to be this close to her when her hormones were surging. I'd dealt with it before, but something was different. Sure, I'd never been around her heat when I was this injured, and we weren't necessarily fighting the mate bond as strongly back then, but…

Fucking hell, I can feel every inch of my skin .

The clothes on my body itched, everything feeling too constrictive, too heavy. My cock ached for how badly I wanted to claim Kenzie, and each heartbeat through it threatened to bring me to my knees. My eyes stung from fighting against it so hard, and I could feel a shift just on the edges of my perception.

He wanted forward, he wanted freedom, and he wanted Kenzie taking every inch of him most of all.

Without thinking, I stepped closer to her, nuzzling into Kenzie's neck as my arms threaded around her waist. She smelled like goddamn heaven, and I'd never ever loved it as much as I did right this minute. A needy growl tore from my throat, and Kenzie whimpered as another wave hit her.

"Grayson, you need…oh God."

She sobbed, collapsing into a ball even as I tried to keep my arms around her. My chest ripped open, and bled out the regret and loss for having rejected her. Falling to pieces sounded like a fabulous idea at the moment, and that growl turned into a whine.

"Kenzie, I… oh hell."

I was moving, but I couldn't really process what I was doing. It wasn't wholly under my control, just instinctual. I lowered Kenzie to the bed, towering over her as my hips lined up in front of her, my kneeling stance pushing her legs open wide.

Kenzie's scent perfumed stronger, nearly knocking me unconscious, and then my cock was rubbing against her center over her leggings. She'd worn a sweater to the first trial but had long since ditched it when she was helping to clean my wounds.

As a result, her lovely pale skin, decorated with warm brown freckles, was on full display, the thin white tank she wore hiding nothing.

A shaky breath left me as I raked my gaze over her. Kenzie's breasts were snug in her top, and her shorter hair fell to the bed underneath her as she lay there, looking up at me with lust-lidded eyes. Her expression was wanton and pained.

My hips moved on their own, rocking against Kenzie so that the friction eased some of that desperate ache to sheath myself deep inside her.

I was fucking gone, well past usual for this situation, and it hit me. Of course. I'm going into a rut. And I can't stop it this time.

No, shit. This isn't what we need right now. Dammit.

And still, I was basically humping her because I couldn't fucking stop myself. A wave of hormones surged again, making my nerves sing, and Kenzie groaned, her eyes pinched shut as she began to rock her hips along with me.

Maybe I could just help her through this. I couldn't leave her like this. That would be truly cruel.

But I knew I was also making excuses to make myself feel better for wanting her so much. It was wrong of me to think that I could just fuck her through her heat and then move on with our plan.

"MacKenzie, I…I should…fuck, I should go." I tried to pull myself away, my movements slow and barely noticeable.

"I know. You should, ugh," she moaned, the surges coming on stronger and stronger.

I was losing my damn mind; rational thought was getting harder and harder.

She needs you, Grayson. You need her. Just do it.

"I don't know if I can now, Kenzie. Having you like this…your heat…"

Gripping my shirt so tightly I thought it my tear, Kenzie ground herself against my erection, using me to ease the agony building inside her. But we both knew it wouldn't be enough.

"It hurts so much." Kenzie's voice cracked, tears spilling from the corner of her eyes, and the sight cut through me as sure as a knife. "I…I can't do this…It's too much."

She was in misery, and I was close behind with the rut that made my blood boil. This was not what we needed—in any way—and Kenzie was going to hate me all the more afterward. But I couldn't leave her like this when I had the power to make it stop.

"MacKenzie. Ummm, do you want me to help you?"

I had to get the words out through gritted teeth, my eyes squeezed shut, and my hips jerking against her.

There was a long pause, eons of time moving by in a symphony of pain and desperation. I was pretty convinced she was going to say no. And then I'd have to muscle up and get myself the hell out of this room before I did something I'd regret.

"I…"

Her gorgeous blue eyes looked up at me when I managed to meet her stare, and everything inside me, things I had ignored for so long, screamed out for me to claim my mate.

Wolf pregnancies are rare. It's not a guarantee, even if she is in heat. Kenzie won't get pregnant. This will just be a tiny hiccup in our plan, something to be yourself up about later .

I wasn't sure what possessed me to do it, but I reached up to her cheek, now bracing my weight on one hand. I stroked the smooth, impossibly soft skin with my thumb, trying my best to send comfort to Kenzie.

A purr slipped out of me, and it was far too late to stop it.

"I…" She held my stare, the two of us unblinking and flayed open for all the world to see. "Yes. Please, Gray. I…I need you."

My chest cracked open all over again, and no matter what I told myself, the core of me knew that nothing would be the same after this. I just needed to keep myself from biting her and dooming Kenzie to be stuck with me forever.