Chapter 18 - Linnea

Aris is standing next to Bigby, and they're both soaking wet. I heard the team coming back and came to the door, only to be met with the two of them stark naked, flushed in the light of the mood. I slap my hands to my face before I can get a huge eyeful of Bigby in the nude.

Before I do, I see Aris's naked form, and I can't help but think that he's beautiful. He probably wouldn't like to be described that way, but the way he's standing, so confident, unbothered by his own nudity, bathed in the moonlight—I have the sudden urge to draw him, though I'm not an artist. I wish I could take a picture to keep for myself, to look whenever I wanted.

"You can uncover your eyes," Aris says, his breath fanning over my face as he nears me. I can smell his familiar pine scent, and it's like aromatherapy. My body relaxes, and I move my fingers to the side, peaking out at him. Joy lights up in my chest when he laughs. He takes my hands and walks me into the cabin. Once we're inside, I get a good whiff of him and take a step back.

"You smell like river water," I laugh, pinching my nose and exaggerating his smell.

"And here I thought you'd be happy to see me again," he says, shaking his head but backing toward the bathroom. His eyes travel up and down my body hungrily, drinking me in. "Care to join me in the shower?"

The thought of our naked, wet bodies pressed together sends a thrill through me, but I hesitate. As much as I want to join him and get lost in his body again, I'm too curious about what's happening.

When I shake my head, he nods and disappears into the room. I hear the shower turn on a moment later. Unable to help myself, I wander in, sitting on the closed toilet seat and gazing at him.

His muscles stretch and move as he runs soap over his body and hair. He's facing away from me but glances over his shoulder, winking at me, knowing I'm looking. I wonder if I'll ever get used to the fact that he can see and hear me even when I can't see and hear him. Will I ever be able to sneak up on him?

"Can I… Can I ask about what happened with the team?"

Aris clears his throat, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. I register that sitting here on the toilet, talking to him while he showers is undeniably domestic in a way I've never experienced. An image pops into my head of us with a family having a meal together. Without meaning to, I'm imagining a baby with Aris's dark hair, tight curls like me, Aris's cute little nose, toddling around, clutching at my pants.

The want for that nearly bowls me over, and I have to grip the sides of the toilet. A baby that looks like Aris? Growing up into a little boy, a teenager? We could make a family together—the thought of it is intoxicating. I glance at Aris, wondering if he ever thinks of that. If he even wants a family. The thought of him not wanting that, not wanting to marry someone—marry me—and settle down breaks my heart.

"It's… The vision you described sounds like our HQ. And our commander. He's betrayed us."

I blink, the baby thoughts distracting me and making me forget what I'd asked him. After a moment, I register what he's saying and put my hand to my mouth.

Aris's commander betrayed them? The image of me, covered in blood and screaming at the end of that hall, pops back into my mind, and I wonder if I'm going to end up in that building. It occurs to me that I could be tortured as a way to torture Aris, and the thought makes my insides curdle.

"That's horrible. What can you do?" I ask, watching him as he rinses the suds from his body.

"Well, right now, we have to focus on avoiding the threat from Varun. That's the first priority, keeping my team—and you—safe."

My chest warms when he glances over at me, clearly communicating that I'm important to him. If someone had told me a month ago, when I was communicating with the doctor who would sever my connection to the pack, that I would be staring at Aris with adoration in my eyes, I wouldn't have believed them.

And yet, here I am.

Aris turns the water off and steps out of the shower, toweling off quick. He glances out into the hallway as though he's expecting some sort of threat to be there, lingering.

"Come here," I say. "Please."

He pulls me into his chest, closing his eyes and tucking my head beneath his. We stay like that, breathing together, our bodies close, and I feel the strangest sense of contentedness. Like I could stand here for the rest of my life and not be bothered by a thing.

"I'm sorry, Linnea," Aris murmurs sleepily into my hair. "We can't rest for long. We have to prepare."

"Prepare?"

"If Varun's rogues are headed this way, we don't have enough manpower to take them on. We need to strategize, fight smarter than them."

"That shouldn't be hard," I say, rewarded when Aris gives me a sleepy smile. He nuzzles into me, groaning deep in his chest.

"I just want to take you to bed," he complains, his hands tightening on my hips, pulling me closer to him.

"To sleep, or…?" I ask, giggling into his chest.

"Both," he says gruffly, and I feel his member getting hard again, already pressing into my leg. "I felt peace for perhaps a minute after I had you the first time. Now I'm back to being tortured."

The knowledge that he needs me and wants me this bad ignites a fire in me. I consider dropping to my knees right here, right in front of him. I see his eyes widen and wonder if he can read my intentions on my face.

Aris grips my biceps and leans down, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I wish we could," he says, letting his head fall back, exposing his Adam's apple. "You have no idea how badly I want to do that."

"I have some idea," I murmur, rubbing my hips against his growing erection. He hisses through his teeth and clamps his hands down on my hips, moving me to the side and pushing past me.

"Temptress," he growls, and I turn, following him into the living area. When he drops the towel and starts to dress, I feel myself getting wet. I want him, have wanted him nonstop since he first arrived in the bar. I thought having him would sate the desire, but now that I've had a taste, I just want more.

The room falls quiet for a moment, and I sit on the edge of an armchair, watching Aris as he pulls on what looks like tactical gear. His curls are damp, flopping across his head, and I want to run my hands through them, tug them out.

"Aris," I say, twirling the fringe of a throw blanket between my fingers. "Are you… Do you picture yourself staying in Rosecreek? After all this is done?"

"What?" he asks, standing up straight and looking at me quizzically.

"I just—I know why you left the first time. After everything, when—when Varun is gone. Do you think you'll stay?"

Annoyance passes over his features, and I tug harder on the blanket, suddenly anxious to hear his answer. I was willing to leave before he got here—would I follow him back to D.C.? Wait for him there while he went off on adventures with his team?

At the thought of leaving Rosecreek—really leaving this time—and leaving behind Aris's legacy, my gut twists.

I try to parse out what he's thinking, but his face is shrouded in frustration.

"That's not really something I can afford to think about right now," he says, "I have to focus on the mission first."

"Okay," I say, a lump lodging in my throat. "Do you—I mean, what do you think is going to happen with us? Since we're blood-bonded now—"

"Linnea, is there a reason we have to talk about this right this second?" Aris snaps, turning to me as he buckles his belt. Even feeling anger and nervousness at his caginess around the subject, I have to admire how good he looks in his gear, and the thought flits through my mind of what it would be like to take it off of him, piece by piece.

"It's important—"

"But why now? Why discuss it right before I'm about to go out and prepare my team for a potential attack?"

"Because I love you!" The words burst out of me before I can think, and I swallow, rocking back on my heels and staring at him. He's looking right back at me, those dark eyes wide with surprise. The air between us is heavy with anticipation, and my heart palpitates, waiting for him to say it back.

He must love me, right? Who could be mated, with a blood-bond, and be as tender as he is without loving me back? I think of him holding me, brushing the sweaty hair from my forehead, kissing my neck. He must love me. All he has to do is say it.

"Boss," someone says, opening the door to the cabin without knocking, and Aris turns, growling at the door. Percy steps back, holding up his hands. "Sorry! Didn't know the lady was in here with you."

"So, go away," Aris growls again.

"Okay, I will, promise. But I've got news, we caught a scent on the wind. Rogues are definitely headed this way; we just don't know when."

Percy slips away, and the door slams shut behind him, echoing throughout the room and compounding with the weight of what I've just confessed.

"I have to go," Aris says, and I take a step backward, bringing my hand to my chest, feeling the physical pain there. He's rejected me again.

I shouldn't be surprised—he's made it clear since the first time we kissed that he's not interested in me as a mate. Aris gives me a pained look, then turns and throws the door open, stepping out into the early morning sun.

My hand goes to my stomach, feeling the pain and rejection swirling there. I feel nauseous and lightheaded, and the room spins around me as I dart to the bathroom and throw up, picturing the look on Aris's face when I told him I loved him.