Chapter Thirty-Two Jasalyn

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jasalyn

K ENDRICK AND I WALK SIDE by side down the stairs. He's careful to stay close, to keep the ring's magic from making him forget anything.

I can't think straight. I'm already so tired, my limbs so heavy—from the ring, from the truth. I don't think I'll have much time before fatigue turns to weakness, but I'm determined to make it to Feegus Keep today, even if I have to crawl.

At the threshold to the kitchen, Kendrick stops in his tracks and grabs my hand. "We shouldn't travel today. We can wait until tonight. We can wait until we figure out how to destroy the—"

"What if I black out again? What if I kill another dozen of Mordeus's pledges?" The horror of it surges, and I slam it down. I don't have time to wallow. "I want to do this now. I made this mess, and I need to fix it."

When I turn into the kitchen, I freeze at the sight of a new face at the table. A face I recognize from my dreams. His braid sways as he laughs at something Remme said, and just before his green eyes meet mine, I catch sight of the two scars slicing across the left side of his head.

And when the time is right, we'll bring her to you, and, like a phoenix, you will rise again.

"What's wrong?" Kendrick asks.

"Who's that?" I rasp.

"That's Shae. He's part of my team. He'll help us when we reach Feegus Keep."

"I dreamed him. I dreamed that he—" He cut into me. Just like the others. He was working with Mordeus. Planning something with him.

We'll bring her to you.

I spin on Kendrick—stare at his unmarked forehead.

The dream couldn't have been real. Why would the Seven be protecting Mordeus if he betrayed them to Kendrick? Or did Mordeus never have the chance to betray them before Abriella killed him?

My gaze drifts back to the kitchen, back to the stranger with the familiar braid and scars, and my stomach sinks.

"Drop your glamour."

He pulls back. "Jasalyn—"

That's why he needed her alive. That's what Kendrick said to Natan upon learning Mordeus might be wearing the match to my ring. Why would he have said that if Mordeus had never made that deal from my dream? Why would he have said that if he wasn't working with the evil king?

"Drop. Your. Glamour. Now."

His throat bobs and then he shifts before my eyes, his ears rounding, that fae glow fading. "Is this better?"

"You lie." The words come out as a sob, everything slamming into me at once. He didn't want me to know Mordeus was alive, and now this. "Don't lie to me."

He flinches. "I didn't want—"

"Let me see you as you are. No magic. No lies. "

With an exhale, he shifts. The changes are so small, and part of me wants them to be meaningless. But he's as he appeared in my nightmare. Fae. With softly glowing skin and elven ears.

With the lines of a delicately woven crown tattooed across his forehead.

I feel like he just tore my heart from my chest. "You made me think you were human."

"Jas . . ."

"And you did it because Mordeus told you to. Because you'd do anything to bring down the Seven."

His jaw ticks as he holds my gaze. "I had no idea what he was doing to you when he'd take you out of that cell. I had no idea how bad it had been before I got there. There were no markings, no bruises—"

"You made a deal with him. You'd keep me from destroying myself in exchange for your queen's release." My insides are folding in on each other, threatening to make me collapse. "You were working for him. You still are."

He looks away. His throat bobs. "Keep you alive, give you a reason to hold on, and in return, he'd let Crissa go. How can you fault me for that?"

I feel so cold, so hollow, that I'm surprised when I feel the tears sliding down my cheeks. "This whole time, I thought you saved me in those dungeons. But you held me there. And you did it for him. You helped me plot my escape—was any of that real? Were you really helping me get out of there or just giving me a reason to think it was possible?"

He bows his head. "I believed you were safe so long as you were with me."

" Don't. You knew I wasn't safe. You knew how scared I was. You knew I was a means to an end for him, and you helped him. " My voice breaks on the last words.

And now I'm a monster.

He lifts his gaze to mine. "You have no idea how sorry I am."

"Me too." A tear drops onto the stone floor, and I stare at it for a beat before blinking my attention back to Kendrick. It hurts worse than looking at Mordeus. That hurt was fear. This hurt is betrayal. "I have to go." My voice cracks.

"Jas, don't."

He won't remember any of this. Won't remember that I know how he betrayed me. Won't remember the way we touched last night. Won't remember how he found my deepest scars and ripped me apart.

"Once I met you, I would've protected you no matter what," he says. "Mordeus is irrelevant."

"But he's not." I lunge for the door, pushing outside.

"What are you doing?" he calls.

With the last of my energy, I sprint around the corner and squat behind the charred remains of a horse stall.

When I look back, Kendrick's standing on the steps, looking out toward the street and scraping a hand over his face, confusion knitting his brow.

He turns into the house. "Have any of you seen Jasalyn today?"

I know what I need to do. I've known since Natan told us about Mordeus wearing the match to my ring. But now I know I have to do it alone.