17. Ava

17

AVA

F uck—kissing Grayson Cross shouldn't feel this good.

His lips were soft, which was surprising. He kissed me slowly and tentatively, knowing damn well that we shouldn't be doing this. I let myself get lost in that kiss for a few seconds longer, telling myself it was the adrenaline that made me do it.

One of Grayson's hands curled around my waist, then pulled me toward his body. My hands came to his chest. He was a wall of pure muscle.

"Fuck, Ava," he whispered.

His voice was like a bucket of ice water being thrown over me.

I pushed him away without a second thought. Our gazes locked, and I wondered if the same hungry look was mirrored on my own face.

"This never happened," I gasped.

"Ava," he said my name, but it sounded more like a warning.

"We should head back to the rest," I told him and began to turn around, but he pulled me back.

"You taste sweeter than I imagined," he confessed.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, hating how his words warmed me.

"This. Never. Happened."

"Ava…"

I turned around and put one hand between us.

"I have enough on my plate already. Skating, meeting my graduation credits, and a house of one hundred and fifty sorority sisters waiting to put a knife in my back if I step out of line…" I took a deep breath, and whatever heat was in Grayson's eyes was gone—they had gone soft, and I think that was worse. It chipped another layer into the image of him I had built in my head.

"You're telling me you felt nothing?" he questioned.

"You can't have everything, Grayson. You're the captain of the hockey team, star player, and voted hottest guy in school two years in a row. It doesn't matter what I feel. You can't have it all."

Hurt flashed across his features, but I ignored him. My morning was already full of problems, and the note was adding fuel to a fire that was ready to explode.

When I came back to the table, Cruz had a smirk on his face, and Micah looked at anything but him.

"Did you kiss his boo-boo all better?" Cruz asked me.

"What?" I almost jumped out of the seat I had just sat down in.

"It's just an expression, princess," he added.

"Her name is Ava," Grayson spat as he sat down back at the table.

Was it just me, or were tensions running higher than usual? Even for our first meeting, it wasn't this bad. I was trying to think of something I could do or say to make it better, but a shared look went through Micah and Grayson, and then I could see some of Grayson's tension leave his body.

A sting could be felt in the pit of my stomach. I bit my lip as the realization dawned on me. It wasn't jealousy…was it?

No, it wasn't. We were all under enormous amounts of stress, so it was bound to get feelings confused.

The only problem with that was I didn't know who I was jealous of.

"We need a plan," I told them. "Avoiding this will not make it go away. Maybe if we had gotten together sooner, we wouldn't be in this predicament right now."

The boys nodded.

"The note was a power play," Grayson added.

"We are being watched," Cruz inserted.

"They want us to know we're at their mercy," Micah finished.

It was like the temperature dropped instantly after they spoke. With each passing day, we opened our eyes to the gravity of our mistakes.

"I think…" I paused and looked around us for good measure. "We should figure out whose body might be at the bottom of that lake."

Gray and Micah gave me supportive nods, while Cruz gave me a sardonic smile.

"Great idea, princess, but how are we going to find a body the police don't even know about?"

His condescending tone grated on my nerves.

"I don't see you coming up with a better idea," Micah fired back at him.

Our eyes met across the table, and I offered him a small smile. Cruz instantly looked annoyed by our interaction, while Grayson looked pissed.

"We can do some research and see if there are any open cases, runaways, or if someone's been reported missing." Grayson ran a hand through his hair as he said it.

It was a good place to start.

"Damn, here I thought you hockey players were all brawn and no brain," Cruz teased Gray.

At least this time, he wasn't openly taunting him, which was an improvement. Grayson just rolled his eyes, and I called that improvement. Before we could bounce off more ideas, my cell phone pinged, and all of us looked at it as if it were a ticking time bomb.

It was really fucked up when you started to fear your own cell phone ringing.

We all stared at it, and I knew I needed to check it, but I wanted to keep pretending a little longer. Up until thirty minutes ago, my day was fine—and now I had made the decision to start facing everything, no matter how scary it was.

Micah chose that moment to stretch out one of his legs so it could touch my own. I bit my lip when it began to quiver. Micah's actions had me tearing up for no reason. It was the way he could be gentle in the moments you most needed him. Micah was always there to lend you support when you needed it most. He made no fuss about it, either.

I was too focused on looking at Micah and offering him a thank-you without words to barely squirm when a big hand settled on my leg. I could feel Cruz's heat through the thin material of my leggings.

Shaking my head from thoughts of stupid boys, I reached for my phone and groaned.

"Is it them?"

"What does it say?"

"How many fucking more times will they do this?"

The three of them spoke right after the other.

"No, it's worse," I let them know as I began to gather up my shit. Cruz took the opportunity to pluck my phone away from me and read the text aloud.

Zeta Gamma Theta:

Now I see why Ava couldn't make it to our meeting on time

Below was a picture of Micah, Grayson, and me standing outside the hockey house. It was taken at the moment that I stood between them both, and if that wasn't damning enough, you could see just how late it was.

"Ava," Grayson began to say as he saw the picture.

I put a hand out to stop him.

"Like I said, we can't have everything."

Once I was all set to go, I began to walk away, but this time, someone took hold of my hand to stop me.

What was it with these stupid boys that they wouldn't let me make a grand exit whenever I wanted?

"What?" I asked Cruz.

"I don't think it's wise that you're alone right now."

Just as I opened my mouth to say that was some sexist bullshit, he kept going.

"None of us should be. I think it's safest if we try to pair off as much as we can. Strength in numbers, you know?"

He had a point.

"Okay, I have to go to my sorority house before this blows up."

"I'll take you," Grayson said as he jumped to his feet.

"No, you'll make it worse."

"Fine, princess, I'll go." Cruz winked at me.

"No offense, but you're an outsider," Micah told him. "I'll go with her. Olivia's been dying for some pics. Now I can get them out of the way."

I waved bye to the boys and walked silently with Micah to my doom. Part of me wondered how long ago Livy had asked him for those photos. Did he stop going to the house because we had drifted apart?

Without thinking about it, I took his hand, finding comfort in the person who was the most familiar to me. Micah didn't turn to look at me, but his hold on mine got tighter, as if he didn't want to let go of me either.