11. Ava

11

AVA

G od, just when I felt like I could breathe properly again, something new came to disturb that. I kept looking at Cruz's cellphone, not even reading the words, although they kept playing on repeat.

There had been times when I thought I had been deep in some serious shit, but all those times paled in comparison to this. The drama I went through with my sorority sisters over Grayson seemed like child's play. The time I twisted my ankle right before junior nationals had nothing on this. Both times I thought my world was ending, but now in my phone I had proof that maybe this time it really was.

I didn't need to bring my phone out to compare time stamps with Cruz's message. When you got messages like these, they were hard to forget. It wasn't until all three of us had gotten them that we all noticed the same thing. Even though they were sent at different times, the person sending them was OCD about the time stamp. The hour might be different, but the minutes always ended on a four.

"It's four of us," I said, finally breaking the silence. I turned my body so I could face him. His brows were scrunched in confusion, but he was waiting for me to get myself together so I could properly explain. "The time stamp on all of our messages also ended on a four."

To prove my point, I unlocked my phone and showed him.

Once he saw my message, he shook his head in disbelief. I could see his jaw clenching as he tried to rein in his emotions. He leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes.

"You know, I really thought coming to college would give me a break from the shit life I've had."

A humorless chuckle escaped him, and I found myself aching on his behalf.

"Life sucks," I muttered. What else was there to say in a situation like this?

Cruz let out a snort.

"Trust me, princess, your life has not been shitty."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he kept going.

"Your dad owns that auto shop on the outskirts, right?" He didn't wait for my answer since apparently, he already knew that. "He's a solid guy. I've been there loads of times to fix my car. I've seen him interact with you. I didn't even get half of that. No idea who my father was. My mother never gave a name, and she loved her drugs more than she ever did me. You think this is hard? I grew up in the system…I never knew whether I would live to see another day. That shit hasn't changed."

I could see his point. Compared to his, my life had been privileged. I might not have my mom in my life anymore, and I carried that wound with me every day, but my dad didn't falter. He put his own hurt aside and tried to be there for me the best he could.

Without letting myself think about it, I reached out and took Cruz's right hand in my left one. I could see the surprise written all over his face, and that made the ache I was beginning to harbor grow a little. He didn't expect my kindness.

Then I remembered what I thought he had said earlier, about all of us being in it together, but we went on the offensive right away without giving him a chance. Was that how his life had always been?

Guilty until proven otherwise?

Before either of us could say anything, there was thumping on my side of the car, causing both Cruz and I to let go of each other, and the moment of comfort I was trying to give him was lost.

"Let her out, fucker."

Grayson was still as angry as he had been at the tracks. Since Cruz's windows were tinted, he couldn't see us. Micah was just as angry as Gray. It was a new look on him. In the time we spent apart, I realized that the boy I knew as my friend was gone. I still saw parts of him, glimpses of him when he was relaxed, but now he had sharp edges and grown claws. I realized that maybe I didn't know him at all.

Cruz unlocked the doors, and neither one of us acknowledged the tender moment we had found ourselves in.

As soon as I opened my door, it was yanked open all the way.

Grayson glared at Cruz while he leaned in and started to unbuckle me.

"I'm okay!" I told him as he tried to reach for me. I pushed his hand away, and I saw hurt flash across his features, but I ignored it.

Neither Micah nor Grayson took a step back as I tried to get out of the vehicle. Instead, they maneuvered me so I was pressed up against both of them.

Maybe it was the rush of the earlier high coming down and still seeking more of that thrill that made my body begin to accelerate. I could feel Micah's muscular frame pressing against my front—another proof that he had changed. While at my back, I felt Grayson's imposing presence. I'd seen him on the ice, even when I didn't want to, and I knew how lethal he could be in a game. Something about that transferring over into protecting me made my blood race and my heart speed up.

Instead of focusing on that feeling, I watched as Cruz got out of the car and rounded the hood with an easy swagger. If it hadn't been for our earlier moment, I would have been sure he wasn't fazed by any of this.

"Aww, cute, the boyfriends can breathe better now," Cruz taunted them.

I glared at him because he wasn't helping this situation at all, but now I realized it was a defense mechanism.

"I'm going to break your face," Grayson vowed.

"I'd like to see you try." Cruz grinned.

"Enough," I yelled, pushing away from Micah and Grayson. "Stop comparing dick sizes!"

"No need. Mine's bigger," Grayson added, smirking at me.

Augh, boys.

Micah and I refrained from commenting.

Cruz, however, had to have the last word.

"You haven't seen mine." He winked, but not at me. When I glanced at Micah, his face was all kinds of red.

"I'm not gay," Micah spat at him.

Cruz shrugged with a gloating smile.

"Cruz, your phone," I bit out as I stretched my hand, expecting him to bring it to us.

Although he walked with an easy swagger, I could see his jaw was clenching. He handed me his phone, and I showed it to the guys.

"We are all in this together," I said.

Grayson looked at Cruz, then back at me, and his eyes turned icy.

"I don't trust him."

We were back to square one.