Chapter 15 - NamidJayceNamid

Chapter 15

Namid

I brought my suitcase with me yesterday morning when I came to help Jayce disassemble and pack his sculptures, and even though he'd semi-convinced me that it would be a good plan to get on the road by nine, when I woke with him curled up naked and warm against me and sleepily whined that I was still tired after last night's activities, it was enough to convince him that we should sleep in a bit longer. By the time we rolled out of bed, showered, and got the cooler and suitcases in the back seat, it was close to eleven.

It turns out that no matter how enjoyable your company is, driving for ten hours straight is brutal , and by the time we pull into the motel parking lot somewhere in Canada, I'm a firm believer in two things. First, truck drivers need far more credit. Second, this is probably what it feels like to do drugs.

Despite having limited my junk food intake to only three small packs of chips and one set of Reese's in addition to the healthy sandwiches and juice that we'd packed for lunch, I'm somehow both starving and nauseous. I also feel like I'm climbing out of my skin and ready to challenge random strangers to race me around the parking lot, yet also like I'm as exhausted as I would be after running a marathon.

The three-day drive down and three-day drive back up just might have killed me if we hadn't decided to spend a week in Seattle. Jayce usually takes two weeks off to make the trip on his bike every year, and I've never been on a vacation. There was no way either of us wanted to simply drop his work off at the gallery and head back.

We check into the small, strip-style motel and shower before settling in to eat another set of sandwiches for dinner. We're still in the middle of nowhere, and aside from the gas station–McDonald's combo at the freeway exit and a taco stand trailer that looks like a fifty-fifty shot at getting murdered or food poisoning, the motel is the only thing around. I'm grateful, as even the emotions coming from the couple in the room next to us are grating on my nerves after today's drive.

Even though there have only been a handful of nights together where we haven't spent at least a little time exploring one another before drifting off, tonight, I just need to curl up in Jayce's arms. Somehow, he seems to know even before I say anything, and after he strips and climbs under the sheets, he lifts the covers and gestures for me to crawl in against his side, immediately pulling me into his arms and tucking me in like a little spoon against his chest.

"I tried to pick places that are out of the way. Are you going to be okay here tonight?"

My fingers tighten around his forearm as I turn my head to kiss his bicep.

"The people next door are fighting, but they're far enough away that I'll be able to block them out with a bit of work, and then I'll sleep just fine. In truth, I'm much better at managing other people's feelings when you're around. Yours tend to overpower them for the most part."

A chuckle vibrates through his chest and across my back.

"Do you need me to, like…think sexy things or something?"

I can't help but laugh and snuggle in tighter in response. "Somehow, I don't really think that would help me fall asleep."

"Well, I'm willing to take one for the team if you need me to."

"Very generous of you, but I'm sure I'll be asleep in just a few minutes." I brush my lips across his arm once more and close my eyes as he hugs me tightly.

The next two days are nearly identical. We take turns driving, munch down sandwiches and snacks, stop at gas stations to pee and reload our coffees in order to ensure we'll stay awake and need to pee again in a couple of hours, and spend the nights curled up in cheap motels. By the time we hit the freeway signs that announce Seattle's exits are coming up in about fifty miles, I'm definitely ready to spend some time away from the truck, even if it is in a crowded city.

I've never been to a city larger than Anchorage. I've seen plenty of cities online and in movies, of course, but somehow, nothing prepared me for just how unique Seattle seems to be. As the freeway swoops high and circles around, I can see skyscrapers and tall luxury condo complexes crowded together in a sea of shimmering glass and harsh cement that extends for miles. I'd expected that. What I hadn't expected was just how much nature seems to have found a way to harmonize with the harsh, man-made structures and materials. One entire side of the downtown metropolis is bordered by the Puget Sound. Docks and piers covered with restaurants and small shops notch up against tall glass office buildings. Sailboats and large shipping vessels loaded high with steel containers float across the gentle waves to tie up at the water's edge. The city itself is filled with green. There are parks with trees and rooftop gardens, bright flower patches, and vines climbing down balconies and concrete walls. Freeway overpasses are covered with wild blackberries, and the road's shoulders are filled with Scotchbroom and ivy and laurel. The road itself, though eight lanes wide, seems to have been carved straight through a forest, and pines and redwoods tower over us on the side of the road that doesn't face directly into the city center.

"Hey." Jayce's hand squeezes mine, pulling me from my revelry.

"You okay?"

"Of course, why? "

He looks at me for longer than he probably should, considering he's the one driving at the moment.

"I said your name twice."

Embarrassed laughter escapes before I can stop it. "Sorry. I've just never seen anything like this before."

The lines around his eyes soften, and he squeezes my hand once more.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"It really is. I'm surprised how much I like the look of it."

Concern fills his gaze once again. "Are you going to be okay here? I mean, this is a huge city. Is it going to be too much for you?"

I can feel my brows furrow even though I try to keep my expression neutral. "I think I'll be okay. I mean, it's not like I can go to a ball game or anything super public like that, but as long as we just try to do things that aren't overly crowded, maybe the beach or something, I think I'll be able to handle it just fine. I've always been able to manage a few nights a year at the bar."

He nearly growls, "Looking for strange men."

My laughter bursts out loudly, echoing in the truck's small cab. "Not usually. Besides, you used to do the same thing. Hell, there were probably times when we'd hit on the same dude. It's not like there were a lot of options to choose from. "

Jayce just glares and huffs out a jealous snort, and I can't help but laugh at the visible effort it takes for him to pull himself together and change the subject.

"Is that what you want to do while we're here? Beaches? We can do anything you want, so if there are other things on your list…"

"I guess I haven't really given it a lot of thought since it's hard for me to be around a lot of people and all. I want to spend a few days at the beach. I know it's probably going to stay cold and rainy, but I've never really been to a beach, and it's definitely going to be a lot warmer than it is at home most of the time. Maybe we can find someplace to go hiking too? I never realized that this city is just like…plopped down in between the ocean and the forest. Maybe there are small little towns not too far away we can drive to see? And…okay, this one might not work out all that well, but I think I'd really like to try to visit a museum."

Jayce nods as I ramble, his smile lighting up my universe.

"Done. I will make all of that happen."

I hesitate for a moment. "Do you want to know what I want to do more than anything?"

"Of course."

"I want to hold your hand." I feel my cheeks flush at the admission. "It's different here. It's a big city, and one that's LGBTQ+ friendly. I want to walk down the street and through parks and along beaches with your hand in mine so that people know that I'm yours. "

He exhales sharply, and for a moment, I wonder if I've said something wrong. He doesn't feel upset with me. He just feels…in love.

"Jesus, Namid. What was it you told me once? Warn a guy before you say things like that."