Namid

Namid

My fingers tingle as they fall from Jayce's arm when he finally steps toward the office door. There is so much complexity inside him, so much buried under the hurt. For a moment in the shop, he let me tease him. For a moment, he smiled and laughed and almost teased me back. He was so full of love and light and laughter; he just doesn't know where they are anymore. He doesn't know how to find them.

I take a deep breath and step into Jordyn's office, hoping that he's left everything in order. I want to be able to give Jayce good news, or at least not bad news.

"Do you want to grab a chair and join me? I don't know how long I'll be."

He shakes his head quickly. "No. I'll be…I'll work."

I smile as kindly as I can. "I'll let you know if I have any questions."

He hovers at my side for a moment before taking one shuddering breath and walking away without a word, and I settle in behind the desk. It faces out toward the reception area, and I leave the door open so that Jayce doesn't have to worry about what I might be doing in his brother's space. It doesn't take me long to learn just how organized Jordyn was. The software they use for scheduling appointments and ordering parts is connected and state of the art. The banking and accounting software is separate, but the two interface nicely. It doesn't look like any of the shop's bills have been paid since Jordyn died, but it's only been about five weeks, so I'm sure when Jayce reaches out to let people know what's happened and get his accounts up to date, there won't be any issues. It takes less than two hours for me to go through the entire system and pull together a detailed overview.

I find Jayce sitting at a small glass table in what can loosely be called the break room. It's little more than a large closet with a mini fridge, a table with two cheap plastic chairs, and a warehouse-sized box filled with individual bags of chips. I suppose with only the two of them, it was more than enough for them to grab a drink or eat lunch together, and my heart breaks at the fact he'll be in here alone with his pre-sliced deli meat sandwiches from now on. His arms are crossed on the table, his forehead resting on them as if he's trying to grab a cat nap. I don't think he's asleep. I think he might be crying.

"Hey." I startle him even though I deliberately keep my voice low and calm.

He jerks up quickly, twisting his head briefly and dragging his eyes along his sleeve. They're red again, and I find myself hoping that one day, I get the chance to see them clear and bright.

"Something you need?"

I gesture to the other chair with the folder I hold in one hand. "May I?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course."

The chair's metal legs squeak deafeningly across the tiled floor as I pull it out and settle into the small space with him. I take a moment to breathe, hoping that my pause doesn't worry him. He's in nearly as bad a shape as he was the day we first met, and even though I've been here for a couple of hours, being this close to him still leaves me needing a moment to focus in order to prevent his emotions from affecting mine.

He sighs deeply. "Should I be nervous?"

I can't help but chuckle. "You don't do much with the accounting, do you?"

His shoulders slump further. "No. That was all Jordyn."

"Well, you might be in for a bit of a surprise then."

He straightens in his chair and raises an eyebrow. "A bad one?"

"No." I laugh again kindly.

"It looks like you each took a yearly salary of forty thousand. Does that sound right?"

"Yeah. I mean, my house is old and small, and Jordyn lived in a condo, but you've been grocery shopping here; it's expensive. "

Clearly, he thinks I'm going to tell him he's spending too much money.

"Well, Jordyn's records are immaculate."

He physically slumps back over, hunching his shoulders as relief floods through the small room and fills his soul. It's a welcome momentary change.

"From what I can see, the shop's accounts are in amazing shape. You do have one double booking next week, and you haven't paid March or April's bills yet, but other than that, you have a great business here. It looks like Jordyn kept a ten-thousand-dollar cushion in the checking account in case any emergent issues came up."

He cuts me off and sighs again as he sinks back into his chair. "Oh, thank God."

Considering what I found while going through his books, I can't stop the grin from spreading across my face at the fact that he thinks ten thousand dollars is a lot.

"You've been in business for what…seven years now?"

"Eight."

"Eight. Well. You've done well."

I open the folder and slide it across the table.

"There is a savings account as well."

He raises an eyebrow and shifts forward to examine the papers I've printed out.

"Every month, Jordyn would transfer anything that remained after your operating costs, salaries, and whatever it took to keep the cushion in the checking account. There is nearly a quarter of a million dollars there."

A strangled choking noise escapes his throat as his eyes dart back and forth from me to the folder on the table.

"That…that can't be right."

I flip over a couple of pages to the highlighted account balance section. "It is. Your brother was good with money, and you've built a strong business. You have the money to do whatever you want for a while…if you need some time or something…"

His eyes shine as he tries to blink back tears.

"I can't believe he…I just…"

I reach across to rest my hand on his arm. It's thick and warm and strong, and there is so much sadness and disbelief, but underneath it all, something that feels almost like amusement.

"I can't…I don't want to…I need to work, you know?"

I nod and squeeze his arm tighter.

"But I…I can't believe he never said. I mean, I can…but I can't, you know."

My thumb slides along the flannel of his shirt for a moment before I realize what I'm doing. As soon as I notice, I quickly pull my hand back to my lap.

"Well. I'm just happy I found good news instead of bad. Everything is incredibly organized. You'll need to pay a bit more attention to scheduling in the future, and you'll have to make sure you pay all of your utilities and vendors on time moving forward, but I'd be happy to show you where all those accounts are if you'd like."

His gaze is so intense that I want to look away as he searches my face. I'm not sure what he hopes to find.

"Could you, maybe? I mean, I know you have your own life, but I…I'd pay you of course. Would you have any interest in me hiring you to do things like that?"

God, he's endearing. How is it possible for such a giant, fragile man to be so…likable?

"I'd love to. I don't really think you need a lot of help, so maybe we could start with…I don't know…twice a month and see how that works?"