Chapter 4

CHAPTER

FOUR

Faith

As soon as I engage the lock, I make my way back to the king-sized bed and plop myself face-first on the mattress. I don't know what I thought tonight would be, but I didn't anticipate being alone this soon. At least we had the drive, which was two wonderful hours of Chad time. I'm exhausted from the flight and need a shower. However, I know that if I don't touch base with my parents, even though I'm an adult, my brother and best friend will be blowing up my phone and calling Fort Irwin demanding my whereabouts.

Okay, that's a little far-fetched, but I don't want them to worry, and I know they will.

With a heavy sigh, I climb off the bed and go in search of my phone. I decide to call my parents instead of texting. I know if it was me, I'd want to hear their voice. Just like I wanted to hear Chad's.

"Faith!" Mom answers.

"Hey, Mom." I chuckle.

"How was your flight?"

"Good. No issues. Chad met me at the airport, and I just got checked into my room. It's about a two-hour ride from the airport to the base."

"That's what your dad was telling me. He looked it up when you told him where you were staying."

Most girls my age would roll their eyes at that, but me, I just smile. I love that my parents care. When I told them that I was flying to California to visit Chad for two weeks, they told me to be safe, to have fun, to tell Chad hello, and to check in often. It's not a hardship to let the people you love, and that love you, know that you're okay.

"I knew he would." I smile.

"How's Chad?"

"He's good. He's in a new position, which is why he was moved to California from Texas, so he has a lot to learn, but he seems to be enjoying it. He's already back at base. He has something in the morning, but we're going to go out and explore the area tomorrow afternoon. He hasn't had much of a chance to do that since he got here."

"That's good that he doesn't have to do it on his own. I'm sure he appreciates a friendly face to help him navigate his new area."

"I'm sure he would have been just fine without me. He's already made a couple of friends on base."

"Regardless, I'm sure he's glad to see you."

"Yeah," I agree. "It's nice to get to see him too. I hate that he's so far away. Weekend road trips just aren't possible with him in California."

"Your dad says hello," she tells me, but she didn't have to. I can hear him in the background telling her to tell me hi and that he loves me. "And that he loves you," she adds, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Tell him I said hello and that I love him too," I say, covering a yawn.

"All right, I can tell you're exhausted from a long day of traveling. Check in with us, please."

"Will do, Mom. Love you."

"Love you too." She ends the call, and I immediately tap on the screen to call Shayne. It rings once on my end before she picks up.

"I miss you."

I can't help it. I laugh at my best friend and future sister-in-law. "I miss you too."

"How is he?"

"He's good. He's getting used to his new position and a new area, but we're going to go exploring this weekend."

"Let me say hi."

"He's actually not here. It was a long drive from the airport, and he has to be up early tomorrow," I explain to her as I did my mom. "He'll be done by noon."

"Damn," Shayne mutters.

"Yeah, but I'm exhausted from the flight and the drive. Poor Chad, he's going to be drained tomorrow."

"He will be, but we both know he wouldn't have changed a thing."

"We're just friends," I remind her.

"Why is that again?" she asks.

"Honestly, I can't even remember. I know we said we would be friends and leave the rest up to life or fate or whatever," I ramble.

"And look at where life led you. You're in California with your ‘just' friend."

"I'm visiting."

"And so soon," she jokes.

"I don't know what we're doing. I miss him like crazy, and he's always the first person I want to call or talk to when I have a good day or even a bad one."

"Gee, thanks." She pretends to be upset, but we both know better. My brother, Ford, is that person for her.

"Talk to him, Faith."

"Something is holding us back." I just wish I knew exactly what that something was so I could squash it like a damn bug.

"Something? Or two stubborn humans?"

I sigh into the phone. "I think he just didn't want to hurt my feelings."

"I call bullshit. That man is into you."

"We're friends, Shayne. I know he cares about me, but not the way that Ford cares about you." My heart clenches in my chest as I say the words aloud, but that doesn't make them any less true. I know that Chad cares about me. Hell, I'd go as far as saying that he loves me. He's just not in love with me. Not the way I'm in love with him. There's a big difference between the two, and I've decided I'm okay with any part of himself he's willing to give me.

"Stubborn," Shayne mutters, and it pulls a grin from my lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Ford's already asleep, the old man that he is," she teases. "I'll be sure to tell him you called. Keep in touch while you're there. Be safe, and maybe pull up those big girl panties of yours and tell Chad how you really feel about him."

"Maybe," I reply, not committing. We both know my "maybe" is a big fat hell no. It's not worth the risk of losing him and making things awkward between us.

"Get some rest. Make sure your door is locked."

My grin widens. "Chad already made sure of that before he left."

"Good man that one," she responds. "Call me and have fun."

"I will. Bye."

"Bye."

Tossing my phone on the bed, I go for the suitcase and dig for my toiletry bag and clothes. I'll unpack tomorrow. Right now, I just need a shower and sleep.

I tossed and turned all night. It's always like that for me the first night in a new place. It doesn't help that I'm here alone. Well, Chad's close, but I was here in this place all on my own. It's not that I was freaked out, but just the idea of being by myself in a strange place kept me awake.

Finally, at a little after seven, I was tired of the game of twister I was playing with the sheets, so I crawled out of bed. I unpacked and organized all of my things, including the basket from Chad, before taking another shower and getting ready for the day.

I ventured out and found a small café and grabbed a large, iced coffee and a bagel with cream cheese before coming back to the room. I wanted to explore more, but I didn't want to miss Chad. He said around noon, but if he happened to be out early and headed this way, I didn't want to miss him.

That brings me to my current situation. I'm propped up on the bed, iced coffee and bagel long since consumed, while I hold my e-reader in one hand, my phone clutched in the other—just in case Chad calls or sends a message.

I'm a romance novel junkie. I devour them and never leave home without my handy little reading device that puts the words of my favorite authors in the palm of my hands. I'm so engrossed in the story—the hero is about to confess his love for the heroine—when there's a knock at the door.

Dropping my e-reader to the bed, I glance at my phone and see no new messages. My heart races with a little fear and a little anticipation. It's just before noon, so a little earlier than when Chad said he would be finished. What if some stranger is knocking on my door? Keeping my steps light as I head to the door, I then stand on my tiptoes and peek through the peephole. Chad's standing with his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels.

I pull open the door and smile at him. "Hey. You're early."

"You didn't ask who it was." He frowns.

"I didn't have to. I saw you." I point to the small glass-filled hole in the door. "I could see it was you."

He nods. "Always check, okay?"

"You know I am an adult," I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

His eyes quickly rake over my body before coming back to mine. "I know." His voice is gruff, and I'm suddenly turned on and possibly in need of a change of underwear.

Stepping back, I allow him to enter, before closing the door, and following him farther into the small room. "So, what are we doing today?"

"I have a plan, if you don't have anything already planned."

"Nope. I was waiting for you." I look down at my cutoff jean shorts and tank top. "Am I dressed okay?"

"You're perfect. It's hot as hell outside, and we're going to be outdoors."

"What are we doing?"

"It's a surprise."

"A hint?"

"It's outdoors." He flashes me a wicked grin. The same one that has my belly flutter with butterflies every single time he aims it my way. "I thought we could grab some lunch, and head out. It's about an hour away. Just a little over an hour according to my phone."

"Sure, let me grab my things." Moving back to the bed, I turn off my e-reader, and I know it's a contradiction that I said I take it everywhere, but I'm not taking it today. I don't want anything to take me away from Chad. "You're here early."

"Yeah, we wrapped up early. I might have ridden the guys a little harder than needed to wrap it up." He chuckles.

"They're going to label you as a hard-ass."

He shrugs. "I wanted to see you."

When he says things like that, it makes it harder to remind my heart that he's being a good guy, a good friend. It's difficult to keep the lines between me being head over heels in love with him and our friendship at bay.

I shake out of my moment of swooning over his words, and slide my feet into my flip-flops, grab my purse, and phone then smile at him. "Ready."

Ten minutes later, we're pulling into a small diner in town that screams home cooking, and I'm pumped about it. The bagel I had earlier is long gone. With his hand on the small of my back, the heat from his hand searing my skin through my shirt, Chad leads me into the small diner. We read the sign that tells us to seat ourselves, and he guides the way to a small back-corner booth.

"I love this place already," I tell Chad, reaching for a laminated menu that's kept on the table.

"How do you know?" he asks, reaching for his own menu.

"It smells delicious, and it's literally named Mom and Pop's. You know you're about to experience culinary homemade goodness with a name like that," I tell him.

"I can't argue with that reasoning." He chuckles.

"What can I get ya?" an older lady wearing a black apron, with her hair tied up with ink pens asks.

"Faith." Chad nods to me to go first.

"I'll have the country fried steak, white gravy, mashed potatoes, and green beans, please. Oh, and white milk to drink."

She writes it all down with a nod and turns toward Chad.

"Double that, please," he says, placing his menu back behind the salt and pepper shakers.

"Coming right up," she says, already walking away to put in our order.

"So, you're really not going to tell me where we're going?"

"How am I ever supposed to surprise you?"

"You did. You gave me that basket in my room. That's enough. Please?" I say, batting my eyelashes at him.

"Fine." He playfully rolls his eyes as if he's irritated with me, but the smile tugging at his lips gives him away. He reaches for his phone and taps at the screen before sliding it across the table to me. "We're going to rent a side-by-side UTV and go riding in the desert."

"No!" I say excitedly. "Are we really? Chad! That sounds like so much fun." I wiggle in my seat as I scroll through their website on his phone. Our server drops off our drinks, and I take a quick sip. "Wait, this says you should call ahead for ticket availability."

"I already did."

"Really?" I ask and he nods.

"We have an hour orientation and safety class that we have to take before we can ride, and then they turn us loose in the Mohave Desert."

"I'm so excited. Can I drive?"

"If you want."

"I want." I nod. "This is going to be so much fun."

"I hoped you would think so. It would have been an even better surprise." He gives me a pointed look.

"Hey." I raise my hands in defense. "I can't help it. I had to know."

"I think you would have survived," he tells me as our waitress sets our plates in front of us, grabbing our glasses for refills.

"Then why did you tell me?" I counter.

He scoops up a fork full of mashed potatoes and tilts his head to the side. "Like I could ever say no to you." He shoves the overloaded fork of creamy potato goodness into his mouth while I sit here in the booth with my heart stuttering in my chest.

My mind goes back to my conversation with Shayne last night. Do I have it all wrong? Does he want to be more than friends? No, I'm letting our conversation and his sweet words alter my perception of what I know is real.

"So, a guy I work with, he's a newlywed and I told him my friend was in town. He invited us to dinner at their place while you're here. If you're up for that."

My friend. "Sure, it will be good for you to hang with them and form that bond. I can be a buffer."

"Faith, sweetheart, I'm an Army Corporal in the United States Army. I don't need a buffer."

"Fine, I'll just be the fun friend who also happens to be your best friend's little sister, and your cousin's best friend, from Ohio who missed you so much I had to come and see you for two weeks."

"How about we just tell them you're mine?" My eyes widen, and he's quick to keep talking. "My friend. We don't need to bore them with all the other connections that brought us together."

"That's what you do when you're getting to know someone."

"How about we just leave that for another time?" He chuckles, taking a bite of his country fried steak.

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to tell them all the stories I've heard from Shayne about the two of you growing up."

He points at me. "Behave, woman."

I shove a big bite of mashed potatoes in my mouth so that I don't have to agree.

"So, tell me about the job search."

"Ugh. I'm being dramatic. I know I am. I just can't seem to stop."

"Kindergarten is your dream. Have you considered the jobs that would require you to relocate?"

"I have, but I don't know. None of them feel right. I know that makes me sound like I've lost my damn mind, but it would feel right, wouldn't it? Shouldn't I be nervous and excited? None of the offers I've received so far give me either of those feelings."

"Then you should keep looking."

"I'm a college graduate living with my brother and his fiancée who are soon to be married, if my brother has his way about things. I can't keep cramping their style."

"Did they say you were?"

"No. They would never, but if I were them, I'd want time alone."

"You know good and well as long as the two of them are together, they couldn't care less. They spent too much time apart. They don't give a damn that someone they love is sleeping in their spare room. They're just happy to be together."

"I know you're right. I guess I just thought it would all be different. I'd graduate, find my dream job, get my own place—not paid for by my parents—or a part-time job and a roommate, fall in love, and live happily ever after."

Something flashes in his eyes that I can't name before it's gone. "You can still have all of that. It might not be in Cooper, but you can still have everything you want for your future, Faith."

"No more whining from me. This trip was to see you and forget about all of that for a while."

"Faith, this is a big part of your life right now. Yes, this trip was to get away and to see me—" he flashes me a grin "—but it's also to clear your head to help you make the best decision for you. And that's what you need to do. Choose the path that makes you the happiest. If that's passing on these jobs and subbing until you get your own kindergarten classroom, or if it means you have to move out of Cooper, whatever the end result may be, we all support you as long as you're happy."

And this is why I love you. "Thanks, Chad."

He nods. "Now, finish up. We've got some desert sand to tear up."