Chapter 1

CHAPTER

ONE

Chad

The letter in my bag is burning a hole through it, but I promised I wouldn't read it until I arrived at my new base.

I almost caved. When I got on the plane, sitting alone in a tin can full of strangers, all I wanted to do was pull it out of the zipper compartment and read her words, but I refrained. Maybe it's because I knew she'd know. Somehow. Ever since I first met her fourteen months ago, she had an uncanny ability to read me, to see past my cocky smile and find the real me I hid from almost everyone behind witty humor.

Faith.

The one I left behind.

I push all thoughts of her out of my head as the Uber pulls up in front of Fort Cavazos, my new base, as of 0600 tomorrow morning. The moment I step out, the sweltering Texas heat wraps her hands around my neck and slowly applies pressure. This kind of heat is familiar, yet different from growing up in Kentucky. There, it would be hot and humid in the summer. The type of humidity that made it hard to breathe and clothes cling to your body in the worst way. That's not too far off a description of the muggy air in Texas, yet it still feels…off.

Before I can dive into the whys, the MP steps out of the guardhouse.

"Specialist Chad Anthony reporting," I say with a salute before handing over my transfer papers.

The man in the military uniform scans his clipboard before taking my document. "You're to report to Colonel Martinez's office," he states, handing back my papers. "Up this road and to the right. We'll take you."

Another MP steps forward and gets in the Jeep parked along the guardhouse, so I follow suit and climb inside. We don't have time for idle chitchat as we speed away, heading in the direction of the colonel's office. The Jeep stops in front of the large building, and without fanfare, I grab my duffle bag and head inside.

The cool air conditioning hits me the moment I enter. It only takes me a few minutes to go through the security process before I'm escorted down a long hallway to where I'll meet Colonel Martinez.

"Enter." I hear in a low, clipped voice after I knock on the door.

"Specialist Anthony, sir. I was told you wanted to see me, sir," I state once I've saluted the base commander.

"Of course," he replies, leaning back in his chair as he levels me with an intense gaze. "Welcome to Fort Cavazos. Unfortunately, your stay with us will be a rather short one. You're being sent to Fort Irwin in California where you'll join the 11 th Armored Cavalry Regiment, Blackhorse. You will be promoted to corporal upon your arrival. You ship out immediately," he states, causing my mind to swirl and my heart to skip a beat.

Corporal .

"Yes, sir," I state, standing at attention.

"See Sergeant Holmes out front for your transfer orders. Dismissed."

I salute the man who was supposed to be my commanding officer but is now sending me on my way to another base. In another state. To do another job.

My mind reels as I receive my new orders and I'm sent to catch a ride to the airport. Even though the letter I carry is still weighing down my bag like a brick, I won't open it until I arrive in California and find out exactly what my new orders are.

But that doesn't stop my brain from thinking about her the entire time.

When I board the plane, I close my eyes and see her long brown hair pulled up high on her head. Her sleepy green eyes sparkling in the morning light as they focused on me. The sound of her laugh, and how it quickly became my most favorite sound in the whole world. The way I miss her, even after all this time.

Faith is my best friend's twin sister.

Never in a million years did I expect to meet a woman who'd challenge me so much when I went to visit his hometown over fourteen months ago. Ford's family lives in Cooper, Ohio, and while we were on a two-week leave, we split our time between his family and mine. That's when he met and fell in love with my cousin, Shayne. I teased him relentlessly, even though I was pretty excited about the whole thing. It happened so quickly. They met, and I watched my best friend fall in love within a matter of days.

Then, we had to leave my hometown in Kentucky and go to his before returning to base. He didn't want to go. No, I take that back. He wanted to see his family, but he didn't want to leave Shayne behind. He did, because that was the job we signed up for, but it was hard. And not just on him, but on me too. I hated watching two people I love hurt the way they did when they were apart, but they made it.

Ford discharged at the end of his four-year commitment and returned to Ohio to be with Shayne. She just completed cosmetology school and is getting ready to take her state license exam, which I know she'll pass with flying colors. Shayne may not have had the best upbringing, but with that pain comes determination, and she was determined to not fall into the same lifestyle her mother had, fueled by drugs and alcohol. With Ford in her corner though, she was bound to succeed.

And she did.

They're going to be moving into a house together near the salon she was hired at. If you would have asked me before that trip almost fifteen months ago, I never would have thought my best friend would fall in love and build a life with my cousin, but they did.

That's also when I met Faith.

My first thought had been…she's gorgeous.

Stunning, really.

The fact she was single was shocking, but the more I got to know her over those next few days, I realized she was single by choice, not because of lack of opportunity. She was getting ready to start her final year of college, and that's where all her focus was directed.

When we met, she was home for the summer, even though she was taking a few online summer classes. I've never hit it off with a woman the way I did Faith, and like Ford and Shayne, our time together was too short.

However, unlike Ford and Shayne, we decided not to pursue a relationship.

What's meant to be will find a way.

That's what she said to me in a tearful goodbye in the early morning before I left to return to base, and what I've hung on to for more than a year since.

We've remained friends, and it's been both heaven and hell. Heaven because I still have her in my life. Someone who makes me smile and doesn't mind when I'm in a bad mood after a long-ass day. In fact, she's usually the one who can turn my mood around. But it's the latter I find myself focusing on the most. Being this far away from her, wanting to touch and hold her again, has been agony. We spent one real night together in that hotel room, but never took it farther than holding each other and stealing a few kisses.

Okay, a lot of kisses.

Leaving her at that hotel was the hardest thing I've ever done to this day, and since then, I've thought of her as the one who got away.

Even if we are still friends.

I'm crammed between a young woman and an older man on my flight from Texas to California. When you're six-one, it's hard to get comfortable in these seats, especially when you can't extend your legs out very far. Fortunately, the flight isn't too long. The woman, probably in her early twenties, spends her time on her phone watching videos, barely looking up to acknowledge the flight staff, while the older gentleman appears to be sleeping. It's at this moment I cave and reach into the pocket of my uniform for the folded piece of paper. I transferred it from my duffle bag to my breast pocket before I boarded, wanting to feel her words close to my chest.

With a sigh, I open the paper and smile at her beautiful penmanship.

Dear Chad,

If you followed directions, you will be in Texas by the time you read this, but I'm guessing you caved somewhere along the way. You're always a bit impatient. ;)

Last night, you told me you were being shipped to Texas, away from Ohio, and that news hit me hard. You might not have realized just how hard, because I smiled and swallowed the tears I nearly cried but somehow managed to keep at bay. Oh, who am I kidding? You probably read me like a book. Like always, right?

Anyway, when I got back to Ford's house, I went to my room, sat on my bed, and let the emotions I felt wash over me. Anger, because you were moving farther away from me, not closer. Fear, because every time I think about you in a combat situation, I'm terrified something will happen to you. Sadness, because I might lose our sporadic phone calls and text messages. Loneliness, because now I'm finished with school and thinking about my future, only to have you taken from me.

But all of those equal me being selfish. Fortunately, there's one emotion stronger than all the others, and that's pride. Like I was when my brother enlisted and left for boot camp, I'm so proud of what you're doing for our country, even if it scares me a little too. Okay, it scares me a lot, because at the end of the day, I want you safe.

Now that I've had time to process the news you shared, I'm just numb. Don't get me wrong, I'm so extremely happy for you, but I'm a little bummed for me. I feel like we were so close, and now we're so far away. Those weekends I had hoped to steal away will be harder to plan. I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I'm telling you this because you're the person I seem to want to tell just about everything to anymore, despite the fact I've spent the last year living with Shayne, who quickly became my best friend. Yet, at the end of the day, I always thought of something to share with you. A story from school. The way some guy cut me off in traffic and I gave him the bird. The new restaurant I discovered late at night when I was studying.

I'm going to miss you. Just like I have every day for the last fourteen months. I know we decided to be friends and "what happens, happens," but just know not a day goes by I don't think of you and wonder where you are or what you're doing. Maybe someday things will be different. I'll always hope for that day.

Be safe. Be happy. I'm so proud of you.

Love,

Faith

I read it a second, then third time, soaking up every word she writes and committing it to memory. It's crazy how you can miss someone with every fiber of your being. Someone who isn't technically yours, but somehow seems to own your heart anyway.

I've never told her to wait for me.

Never.

That's the ultimate selfish dick move.

Don't get me wrong, I've wanted to. So many times, I've wanted to beg her to wait, but that wasn't fair to either of us, even if that particular scenario worked out for Ford and Shayne. I just keep holding on to "what's meant to be will find a way" and praying she doesn't meet someone along the journey. I wouldn't blame her if she did, but I'll always hold out hope.

Her words make me sad. To know we were close, as she said, but now farther away guts me. But this is what I signed up for. This is what I was meant to do, what I had planned to do with my life. Timing has just been a cruel bitch ever since Faith strolled into my life. Or more specifically, since I strolled into hers.

"A letter from home?"

I fold the piece of paper back up and slip it into my pocket. "Yes, sir," I confirm, offering a small smile to the older man sitting beside me.

He nods, knowingly. "A woman, I take it."

I confirm with another small grin. This one's sadder than the first.

"I remember when I left for Vietnam. My Junie was home in Indiana, and it killed me to be apart from her all those months. All I could think about was getting home so I could marry her," he says with a sad look in his eyes. Something instantly tells me his Junie isn't around anymore.

"How'd you do it?" I ask, instantly wanting to reel the question back in. It's not my business or my place to ask such a personal question. I'm ready to tell him to forget I asked, when he replies.

"It wasn't easy, son. We didn't have these telephones in our hands like you kids do nowadays. We had to write letters to communicate, but it was those letters that got me through. I didn't get them nearly as often as I would have hoped because it took forever and a day to move mail all the way over to Vietnam, but when I did," he says, shaking his head gently, a smile turning his lips upward, "it was like I won the lottery. I'd read her words and know I could get through anything. I'd read them at all hours of the day and carried every single one of her letters in my breast pocket of my jacket so they were close to my heart."

I can't help but smile.

"Being apart isn't easy, but the reward is worth the temporary heartache you feel," he adds as we receive the announcement to prepare for descent. "Knowing someone is home, waiting, is one hell of a motivator."

His words hang heavy in my mind. We both follow the flight attendant's instructions, and before I know it, wheels are down in California. It's such a surreal feeling. I started my morning in Texas, ready to get settled at my new base, and I'm suddenly landing in an entirely different state for the same reason.

I release my seat belt when instructed, and the older man beside does the same. Then, he extends his hand. "Sergeant James Conover, US Marine Corp."

"Corporal Chad Anthony, sir," I reply, giving my new title a try.

The old man gives me a firm shake. "Pleased to meet you," he says before releasing my hand and opening the overhead storage compartment. We wait until it's our turn to disembark the plane, and when we're up, he faces me once more. "Thank you for your service, Corporal."

"It was an honor to meet you, sir."

"Same," he says, before turning and walking down the aisle.

I make my way to baggage claim to retrieve my duffle bag, ignoring all the eyes tracking my movements. I've noticed a lot of people take notice of a military person, but they rarely say a word to them. I'm pretty sure I can count on one hand how many times someone has approached me and thanked me for my service. Not that I do this for the accolades or the pomp and circumstance.

I do this for the betterment of my country.

For my future and for those I love.

Just when I throw my bag over my shoulder, I spot a man and woman approach the old man. They have a little girl with them, maybe five or six years old, and as soon as he sees them, he drops the handle of his suitcase and throws his arms around the trio. I can't help but stop and watch the exchange.

When he releases his family, he picks up the little girl, while the gentleman grabs the luggage. They start to walk away, but suddenly the older man stops and faces me. He gives me a big smile, raises his hand, and salutes me. I do the same and wave goodbye, feeling a little lighter than I did before.

I don't know what's in store for me.

I don't know what will happen with Faith.

I don't know where I'll end up next in this big world.

But I do know I'll always carry her with me, wherever I go, whatever I do.

And maybe someday we can be together.

It's that thought, that hope, I hang on to as I step through the sliding doors, into the hot California sun in San Bernardino.

Next stop, Fort Irwin National Training Center.

A bubble of anticipation erupts in my chest at the change in destination and job. I can't wait to see what awaits me with the 11 th Armored Cavalry Regiment. It's going to be weird to be here, to do it without my best friend, Ford, but I'm ready.

This is my destiny.