18. Eli

Eli

Which Witch

I wish he’d just fuck me, honestly.

I thought he was going to. I wouldn’t have objected, either. There’s animosity rotting away both of our hearts, and a good hate fuck might help with that. But he lays beside me, waiting for me to spill more of my guts. I think he loves me like this—all broken and disgusting. That’s got to be some mental disorder—to get hard while someone else is falling apart. Guess I have one of those disorders, too, because my dick still tingles despite the fact I’m crying.

I don’t know how to do this shit.

I’ve never been forced into a corner like Phoenix has me currently. If I had more energy, I’d crawl on top of him and play with him until he forgot about everything. Maybe I’m not as attractive to him anymore. I’m a few pounds away from Skeletor. It’s not just the drugs that steal my appetite. It’s knowing that sooner or later, I have to face Tracy.

Sometimes, I want to let her take my house, sign it over to her, and walk into traffic.

The crazy thing is that it doesn’t sound appealing anymore. I know deep down that I don’t want to die. I just want a way out of the endless loop. Flipping on my side, I shudder a breath as Phoenix’s body heat seeps into me. I hate how he’s looking at me and keeping this distance between us.

Ever since that day last year, I have accepted full blame for it all. It’s easier that way. I’m the reason we got in the car. I’m the reason Phoenix lost his temper.

Slowly inching my hand closer to his, I wait for him to pull away. He doesn’t, so I thread my fingers through his. My hand is so clammy and cold in his, but I don’t think he minds. I feel like shit for saying all of that to him. I know just by how he’s looking at me that he feels the same. We both went too far—cut too deep. I didn’t used to think of him as cruel, but I loved living with shutters over my eyes. Phoenix has it in him to be utterly cruel.I've seen it before.

I pull our hands to my mouth, kissing the high peaks of his knuckles. He breathes harder. I crave his skin on my lips, his taste on my tongue. Looking up through my lashes at him, I watch his pupils dilate. His brown eye appears almost black, while the green one is a halo of color around a dark center. His pretty lips part slightly while I nuzzle his hand. He knows what I’m doing but isn’t stopping me. So, I drag my bare foot over the top of his, pressing more kisses to his hand. His eyes glisten as his breaths deepen.

“I miss you,” I tell him.

He grabs my hip and shoves my shirt up to expose some skin. His thumb glides over the bone, making me tremble. “I miss you, too,” he admits on an exhale.

“Can I change my mind?” I whisper.

“About what?” He pushes the shirt higher, baring my stomach so he can tease the waist of my sweats.

“From that day.” His fingers are still. “I change my mind, Phoenix.”

His eyes shut while he swallows hard and continues to toy with my pants. “Alright,” is all he says.

I scoot closer to him so that our faces line up.

That response isn’t the one I was looking for. With all his protests about using each other physically, he seems to be keen on doing just that. Long fingers curl around the waistband of my sweats, and his knuckles slide over my skin, making me shiver. My breaths falter while he flicks his gaze from my eyes to my lips, settling there so I wet them.

Our noses connect first as his hand dives deeper. Releasing his other one so he can use it how he likes, I lift mine to the shaved side of his head, feeling the soft hair close to his scalp.

Teasing the root of my dick and grazing the tip of his nose over mine, he closes the half-inch of space between our mouths.

“Kiss me, baby. I know you want to,” I whisper.

He doesn’t kiss me. It's a taunt—payback, even.

I cradle his head. “Kiss me.”

Phoenix keeps us nose to nose and aggressively shoves down my sweats. My cock bobs in between us, the cool air hitting my nuts. His breaths quicken while he drags a finger up my shaft, feather-light and ungodly torturous. I lick his bottom lip, desperate for more. Goosebumps burst over my arms as he fingers my slit, smearing precum over his finger.

“Please,” I beg.

The stubborn prick doesn’t give in. Instead, he cups my balls so hard I whimper. “Do they hurt?” he asks, massaging them roughly.

“Yes.”

Shifting his mouth away from mine, he nibbles my jaw and slides his middle finger over my taint. My hips shoot forward, the head of my dick brushing against his forearm. “What else hurts?” The swipe of his hot tongue over my earlobe makes me gasp.

“Does it matter?” My eyelids flutter. “Just touch me.”

He rolls on top of me with speed, thrusting against my exposed cock and biting my neck right over my tattoo. “You said he kissed you here,” he murmurs, pressing his lips to each petal. I claw at his back, tilting my head back as far as possible. “I hate that he touched you.”

I can’t stop the moan that slips free when Phoenix humps my hard cock. “You hate when anyone touches me,” I pant, feeling his taut muscles while I tremble from the rough friction.

“Because you’re mine,” he growls, taking one of my wrists and pinning it above my head. “You’ve always been mine.” I nod like crazy, matching his thrusts, a burst of hot pleasure firing off in my stomach. My legs are pinned under him, my sweats keeping them smashed together. His weight nearly crushes me while he aims his clothed dick over mine.

“Take your pants off,” I rasp, attempting to inch them down, but he catches my hand and holds it up by the other.

“No.”

“Why not?”

He lifts his head to glare down at me. “Because I want you just like this.”

“About to nut on your sweats?”

“Desperate for something you can’t have.” Then he smashes his lips down on mine.

Tears prick the corners of my eyes as his words hold a hauntingly cryptic meaning. His tongue spears through my teeth, finding mine and swirling around it. I whine into his mouth, his hips quickening. He’s chafing me, the friction making my dick unbearably hot. My fingers flex, face tilting on a hard angle to keep up with his bestial kisses. His teeth cut my lower lip as he bites and sucks it damn near off my face. His hands squeeze my wrists unbelievably tight, dry fucking me into the mattress.

And I’m still going to come.

“Baby,” I mumble when he breaks the kiss for a split second before attacking me again and again. He snags my lip rings purposefully, pulling more guttural moans from my throat.

There’s a tightening in my chest, and sweat seeps from my scalp. He’s dry-humping me so fast and hard it feels like he’s trying to pop my balls and crush my cock. I shouldn’t love it as much as I do. He’s angry at me, still.

When Phoenix is in love with me, he’s a needy little whore, begging to be stuffed and rutted into. This isn’t a jealous move, either. When Phoenix is possessive, he paints me. He’ll make it all about his pleasure and then covers every inch he can with his cum before smearing it over my tongue and lips.

I won’t be getting any of it right now. I know that.

He’s going to come in his sweats, I’m going to come in a handful of seconds, and then he’s going to say something shitty. I’ll say something equally as shitty too. So I stuff my tongue down his throat, determined to prevent that. I try to free my hands, but he doesn’t let go of them. I jerk my face to the side in an attempt to kiss his neck, only to be stopped by his mouth again.

“Phoenix,” I say against his lips. My eyes roll as he stops thrusting and rubs his cock back and forth over mine. “Phoenix,” I repeat, using my cheek to shove his mouth aside.

“Why aren’t you coming?” he growls, releasing a hand to grab my throat.

“You’re giving my dick rug rash,” I bite out, stuffing my arm between us and down the front of his pants.

He shakes when I find his stiff cock and stroke it. “ Fuck ,” he breathes, gently brushing his thumb over my pulse point, using my hand like a cocksleeve.

“If you want to hurt me, there are better ways,” I tell him. “Flip me over.”

“No, Eli.”

He’s gushing into my palm, foreskin slick and sliding up and over his cockhead. “It doesn’t need to be like this.”

Jerking his head defiantly, he kisses me again. I’m starting to panic, which isn’t what anyone wants while in the middle of sex. I don’t know how to get him on board. The moment he comes, I’ll lose him again. He’ll shut down like he did in the storage room.

So, I do the only thing I can think of.

I bite the ever-loving shit out of his tongue. He bellows, ripping his face away with speed. I take advantage of the distraction, shove him on his back, and rip his pants and boxers right off.

One hand cups his mouth, eyes on fucking fire with fury. I smirk. “Sorry, baby. But you wouldn’t listen.”

I drop down to my stomach and suck him into the back of my throat. “Sonofabitch,” he snarls before moaning deep and guttural.

His taste floods my mouth, and my tongue works his sensitive underside while I swirl my finger over his hole. That gets him chanting, and it’s the most beautiful sound. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, Oh fuck .”

The muscles in his legs flex at the exact moment his stomach dips. His cock hardens like steel, poking my tonsils. And just before he comes, I pop off, spread his legs wide, and swipe my tongue over his fluttering hole. He whimpers, legs automatically bending upwards. I help, shoving them close to his chest and eat him. I missed eating him out. Phoenix hasn’t groomed himself lately, but I don’t give a flying fuck. Stuffing my tongue into his hole, I groan when it clenches on me.

“That feels so good,” he rasps, hooking his arms under his knees.

“I know, baby,” I tell him and kiss it. “Let me in.” I go back to licking and sucking, coaxing more sweet moans from him.

When his hole starts to soften, I shift higher to suck one of his firm balls into my mouth. He whimpers, trembling, and his toes curl, so I give the other the same attention. The tiny changes in his noises and how he’s submitting to me give me the green light I need. I let some spit dribble from my lips, catch it on my fingers, and stuff two inside him. He hisses, head tossing side to side. My needy thing isn’t going to last long, so I’m skipping a step to get him ready for me.

Besides, Phoenix likes a little pain with his sex.

I curl my fingers upward, finding his prostate and massaging it. He whines and clenches around me. I watch his cock leak onto his belly, so hard and red. With my other hand, I use my thumb and press down on his perineum, using upward strokes to give him both sensations.A beautiful blush forms on his throat, trickling down his chest. This is the part of Phoenix I will never fuck up. This is the part of him I know better than anything else. Applying a bit more pressure, I bring right to the brink.

“I’m gonna—” Removing my fingers as quickly and carefully as possible, I dive for his bedside table, where I know he keeps his lube. “Eli,” he begs, fisting his cock.

I swat his hand away, secure the lube from the drawer, and position myself between his legs again. “You’re going to come on my cock, baby. And then you’ll kiss me and cuddle me, and afterward, we’ll nap. In that order. Got it?” My eyebrow hitches while I lube my dick.

He nods fast, hole fluttering in anticipation while I lather it up as well. I finger him for a few seconds to watch his eyes roll. I have him just how I want him.

Finally.

I cap the lube and chuck it before getting my sweats off completely. I take my shirt off, discarding it as well. With his long legs still tucked into his chest, I palm his ass, spreading his cheeks wider.

“Fuck, you’re pretty,” I tell him, watching his eyes darken and lips part. “I missed you so much,” I murmur, lowering on top of him and lining up.

I kiss him softly at first. I mold my mouth to him, feeling every inch while my cockhead nudges against his hole. He grabs my face, banding his legs around my narrow waist. I push in, meeting minimal resistance because he’s bearing down, ready to take me. I lick the seam of his mouth, feeding his ass my cock while he pants and moans just for me.

Much like my other sexual experiences, it’s a mix of dulled sensation and mental absence, like my brain doesn’t want to connect with what’s happening to my body. I'm slipping away from this moment. Fuck, I think I'm scared. Detachment is my defense mechanism. It's my armor.

I’m hard. His ass is tight and hot. Our kisses are sweet and delectable. But my orgasm is miles away while voices invade my psyche. Addict. Manipulator. Worthless.

“Eli,” he says sweetly, my hips had stopped. I glance at his eyes, and the wires that wouldn’t cross start to weave together. His pretty fucking eyes. One honey brown, the other startling green, search my face. “Make me come, sweetheart.”

Smirking, I flick my hips and impale him. He gasps, hole squeezing my cock. “Jerk yourself while I play with your sweet spot,” I tell him and rise to my knees.

He lifts his shirt, quickly removing it so I can see his body twitch and watch the sweat form on his skin. I’m a visual person, and Phoenix knows it. My heart flutters wildly—he’s keeping me in the moment, not letting anything enter my mind but him. I bite my lip, rotate my hips and flex my dick inside him before thumbing his taint. It’s something I discovered he loves the very first time I fingered him. The prostate can be stimulated here as well as inside his ass.

My baby loves it.

His hair fans around him like a model—so pretty and unique, just like him. My balls bunch up at the base of my dick while I fuck him slow and hard. He holds my eyes, jerking himself, the pink head popping out of his foreskin on each downward thrust. I caress the tops of his thighs, using my own to keep him propped up on my cock. The big gauges in his ears wobble as I pump him full of my inches.

“I love fucking you,” I tell him, my head tossing back. “I love feeling you, being here with you. I can feel you, Phoenix. I can feel you. ” Pleasure coils low in my belly, dick throbbing. God, I forgot how good it feels with him—only him. “This is how it’s supposed to be,” I tell myself more than him.

Our weight suddenly shifts as Phoenix sits up, pushing my chest. My dick slips out of him as I fall on my back. He climbs over me, repositions, and sits down on me. I moan unbelievably loud. This was one of my favorite positions before. When he'd straddle me and ride me like a fucking cowboy. As much as I love dominating him, he has the potential to wreck me one day.

His big body dwarfs mine while he rides me like a machine. I have no choice but to hold the fuck on. A palm slams onto my chest, heat searing my sweaty skin. I grab a handful of his hair, tugging it with just enough pressure to hurt.

His eyes flutter. “Fuck.”

“Are you going to come, pretty boy? Gonna come all over my cock?” He nods, sucking his lip in between his teeth, bouncing on me like he’ll die if he doesn’t finish. “You needed this, baby. I can feel how badly you needed me. It’s only me, huh? Only my cock and cum that gets you this turned on?”

“Yes," he moans. "Ah fuck,” He coils his fingers around cockhead and squeezes it.

“Pull the skin back,” I tell him, and he does. “Spit on it.” He spits directly on the head, his hole squeezing me so tight I choke a little. “Make a ring.”

“Eli,” he whines, doing what I say while I yank his hair again.

“Don’t move,” I grunt.

It takes some work since I’m nowhere near as strong as I used to be, but I manage. Planting my feet, I arch up my hips and use gravity to my advantage, giving him a real ride while his cock hits the circle of his fingers over and over again.

“I’m coming,” he shouts.

I thrust up three more times, grabbing handfuls of his ass as ropes of white coat my stomach. He pants and shudders, riding through his orgasm while milking my cock at the same time. I help him roll his hips, my toes curling into the bed. “I’m almost there.”

With his hands on my pecs, he rocks over me, hair cascading over his shoulders and tickling my cheeks. I tease his pelvis, the sensitive skin where it connects with his legs, glancing down at his half-hard dick, still trickling cum.

Then I flick my eyes up to his.

I'd know that look fucking anywhere. The sheer heat behind those odd eyes. He sears me with them—not a trace of his earlier anger present—no, it’s possession. He’s painted my stomach…all that’s left is… His eyes flash with savage hunger as he swipes at his cum on my stomach and stuffs it in my mouth.

His taste explodes on my tongue, invading and potent. I whimper around his fingers while he strokes my tongue, and when he growls out, “Suck,” I come instantly.

My cock fires off in angry bursts, my thighs quiver, and my lungs seize. I clean his fingers, emptying a year's worth of longing, pain, and cum into his ass. He flattens down, grabs my face, and sucks my lips. He always wants a taste of the mess he makes.

Tears burn my eyes because this is us.

This is fucking us.

I wrap my arms around him, filling him until my balls empty. “I missed you so bad it feels like I’m dying,” he admits against my mouth, his kisses urgent and sloppy.He holds either side of my neck, stealing the very air from my lips.

I moan, and he swallows it. His cum and my spit coats our lips while our emotions turn reckless. “Still my needy baby,” I tell him, coiling his hair in my fist. “Still mine. All mine.”

“Tell me he didn’t give you this,” he begs, kissing me harder. “Tell me it was nothing.”

“It wasn’t fucking anything .”

He shivers, needing something else from me, but I don’t know what. He’s frantic with my mouth, bruising our faces with his savagery. Moisture hits my cheeks, my cock is still in his ass, cum spilling out around it, and he’s crying while kissing me. “What do you need?” I ask, wiping his eyes and pulling his face up a few inches.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want to stop kissing you. Please don’t make me stop because I can't. Fuck. I need this. I need you. ”

“Come here,” I growl and seal us back together.