Chapter 19

Nineteen

Caed

M y teeth grind together as I walk side by side with the wolf shifter through the halls of a tree I once believed I’d conquer and set alight in my father’s name. With that in mind, I suppose I can understand the dirty looks the fae we pass are shooting my way, but with Jaromir—the hero of Elfhame—matching my stride, they’re more reluctant to say anything than they were earlier.

Honestly, I ducked into Rose’s room just for a fucking break.

I didn’t want to interrupt her time with the rest of her Guard, but it was either that or stab someone. I figured she’d prefer the former. Getting invited to watch… I don’t even want to examine how turned on that made me, but I knew the dullahan would never allow it, and I’m not stupid enough to push.

Danu believes I have it in me to win their forgiveness, but I’m not sure she’s considered the stubbornness of the Winter Court bastard.

“You’re quiet,” Jaro comments. “Plotting my death already?”

I scoff. “Waste of time, don’t you think? None of us are dying until Beltaine.”

He looks across, raising a bushy brow. “I’m surprised you think so little of your chances, given you’ve already gotten the redcap’s approval.”

His brown eyes look pointedly at the hat in the frame, now the exact same shade as the rest of the curse mark. I have no idea when that happened, but it doesn’t mean anything.

“The redcap is insane.” I dodge out of the way of an asshole soldier who seems determined to shoulder check me. “I’m beginning to think he only approves of me because he finds the idea of torturing me long term more entertaining than a swift death at the dour knight’s hand.”

Jaro shrugs, conceding my point, and silence takes us both as we leave the tree and walk across a path that wraps around the outside of the trunk before depositing us on the leaf-strewn floor.

It’s cold, and I chew my lip as I debate trying to find a fae who will sell me some warmer clothes. If we’re travelling to the Winter Court next, I’ll need them. There’s a reason I didn’t waste my time trying to conquer the icy mountain kingdom. The frozen temperatures would do more to decimate my father’s army than any opposing force would.

Prae and I had agreed that taking the other courts, and then attacking winter once their supplies were cut off, was for the best. After all, their barren landscape and Rose’s absence making the snows worse meant they were almost entirely dependent on the other courts for most of their food. Starving them out was the best strategy.

Of course, now that she’s reconnected the court to Danu, it could probably withstand my father laying siege to it for another decade. Maybe longer.

“What are your plans to win him over?” Jaro asks.

We’re heading away from the palace, but I’m not sure if he has a destination in mind. I grimace and think over his question.

Honestly, I’m not sure I have a plan. I can’t think of any reason why, in his shoes, I’d ever trust me. Especially with something as precious as the little queen.

“Does dying count?” I try to inject some levity into my tone, but it falls flat. “Look, when Danu cursed me, it became clear pretty fast that I’m going to die. I’ve got three months left to live. Apparently, I’d rather spend them in service to the female who cared enough not to brainwash me than the father who’s been using my name against me since I was a child.”

I run a hand through my short hair, wondering idly if I should trim it again. I used to take huge pride in my braids, especially after losing the ones I’d had as a child during my first exile to the Deep Caves. Now… I…kind of like how light my head feels without them.

“He has your name?” Jaro asks, frowning as even more distrust enters his expression. “You’re not about to tell me everything you did was because of that.”

Rolling my eyes, I level him with a look. “No. I killed fae because I was good at it, because it earned me his approval and some respect from all the assholes of his court.”

Jaro cocks his head to one side. “Drystan will never trust you now.”

I shrug. And the wolf would? “Yeah. Like I said, I’m not holding my breath. It would be nice if I could spend five minutes within touching distance of the female I’m dying for without one of you kicking my ass for it, but whatever.”

Jaro raises a brow, that primal gold overtaking his eyes for a second as his nostrils flare in the search for calm. “So you can steal her away?”

Groaning, I kick a fallen branch so hard that it hits a nearby tree and splinters. “Ancestors’ balls! For the last time, I have no plans to take her to my father.”

The predator within Jaro stares at me, watching my temper with the disquieting gaze of a feral beast waiting to pounce. I tense, waiting for him to attack, even if we can’t harm each other.

Nothing. The fae cocks his head to one side as the animal within evaluates me. My shoulders square defensively, only relaxing when the gold bleeds back to brown.

“In a little over a week's time, Illidwen will celebrate the returning light with the lantern festival,” Jaro says, changing the subject. “Rose will…” He clears his throat. “It’s a spectacular sight, and there will be plenty of entertainments before that…I would vouch for you if you wanted to take her.”

I almost choke on my own surprise. “You’d let me near her for that long?”

Jaro rolls his eyes. “Consider it a favour to the condemned.” A long pause. “If you’d lied once tonight, I wouldn’t have offered you the opportunity. As it is, Drystan will insist on one of us following you, and if you try to take any liberties…You’ll lose the hand that touches her.”

Jaro had planned to use it as his own time with her, I realise. A part of me bristles at the idea that this is a boon thrown out of pity, but I can’t really bring myself to object. After the last few days of not being allowed near her, I’ll take it. A bolt of gratitude hits me, but I cover it with a shrug.

“What if she takes liberties with me?”

Jaro trips over a root, catching himself with a snarl, but even he can’t definitively say she won’t. After all, she did just invite me to watch her fuck the rest of her Guard.

“Regretting your offer already?” I taunt.

Jaro’s lip curls slightly in a decidedly lupine snarl, but he looks away. “Don’t push me, Fomorian.”

For once, I shut the fuck up. Whatever his motivations—and I’m sure this is simply the result of his overdeveloped sense of seelie honour—I’m not going to challenge them. Besides, I prefer this version of him to the one who swings first and talks later.

A group of giggling fae appear ahead of us, and Jaro takes the next corner rather than pass them. The forest floor is quieter than the bustling branches of the trees above, giving a false sense of privacy from the tinkling chatter of the fae going about their lives overhead.

“This could all have been avoided,” Jaro muses. “If you’d taken my offer all those years ago.”

My jaw tightens as I remember the understanding look on his face in Danu’s cave. He’d had baby Rose cradled in his arms, wrapped in Drystan’s cloak as he tried to bargain with me.

I’d been twelve. Surrounded by adult fae warriors who’d tried to kill me before I swore the oath, terrified of the consequences of returning home and confessing to my father what I’d done. I didn’t even know how I was going to get home.

All I knew was that you could never trust a fae bargain.

Looking back now, I can recognise that Jaro wasn’t really trying to trap me. Perhaps, had I taken the offer and accepted a place in Elfhame’s barracks, none of this would’ve happened. Maybe I’d be back in the palace, balls deep in what I imagine must be the softest, most welcoming, heat in this realm.

But it would never have happened.

“You were the enemy.”

“Past tense?”

I’m wasting breath telling him that I’m on his side now, aren’t I? I could ram the point home with my father’s war hammer, and it still wouldn’t sink through that thick fucking skull.

Jaro runs a hand through his beard. “I’m just saying, you would’ve made a good knight.”

“I suck at following orders.” I scoff. “At the time, I wanted nothing to do with the fae. The only reason I took the oath…” I trail off, unwilling to admit the truth.

“Don’t leave me hanging,” Jaro prompts. “I’ve always wondered.”

“My father announced my betrothal the day before.” To Prae , of all females. I had no desire to mate my cousin just to continue the purity of Balor’s line. In fact, I’d been disgusted by the idea. Still am.

Elatha had me flayed once he learned I could no longer form a mate bond with anyone else. Both Prae and I still agree, it was worth it.

“Ah.”

“Yeah.” Not the honourable reasoning I’m sure he was hoping for, but none of the others can say much different. “I’m sure I wasn’t the only one taking advantage of the Oath.”

“Bree and Lore have already admitted as much, and knowing Drystan, he had his reasons as well.” Jaro releases his beard. “Speaking of Drystan…”

He reaches into his pocket and withdraws a small glass leaf, handing it to me. The stem is hooked, like it can be attached to a chain, and the orange and brown glass is etched with fae symbols I can’t read.

“Aww, you got me a souvenir? I didn’t realise you cared, wolf.”

Jaro shoves me, but the charm causes him to miss and stumble.

“It’s enchanted,” he grumbles, regaining his balance. “If you drop it on the ground and smash it on the ground while saying ‘all things fall’ and focusing on your destination, it will take you there. Don’t waste it—they’re expensive and damned hard to come by. Drystan wanted us to have them in case Rose dies again, and the redcap is unable to blink to her.”

“And he wanted me to have one?” I raise a brow, sceptically.

“Well, not exactly.” Jaro shrugs. “But I figure, if she dies and you’re responsible, you can’t exactly use it to get to her before us, can you?”

No. Because Danu will kill me.

“And you won’t ever be alone with Rose long enough to use it to take her from us,” Jaro continues. “Consider this… a last resort. If for some reason we’re all incapacitated again…” He trails off, no doubt thinking of the way Eero’s court picked them off like flies. “I think you’ve proven you make a decent enough last line of defence.”

“Careful with the compliments, or I’ll start to think you care.” I tuck it into the pouch at my belt as we come to a large clearing.

Jaro shrugs it off. “Pity Rose charmed us both. This would’ve been the perfect spot for some sparring.”

My brows furrow as I try to discern whether he means that sincerely, or in a ‘perfect place to make you bleed and suffer’ kind of way.

“Sure. I guess there’s nothing better to do except beat the shit out of defenceless puppies.” I’d still rather be in that bedroom learning how our Nicnevin looks when she’s brought to the peak of pleasure, how she tastes, but fighting comes in a close second.

“If you ask her to remove it,” Jaro begins slowly. “I’ll swear to not try to kill you before Beltaine, unless you hurt Rose, of course.”

I suck my lower lip between my teeth as I consider it. As much as I enjoy watching him overbalance and crash into things while he tries—and fails—to fight me, the lack of practice is going to make me rusty.

“Fine, accepted, whatever.”