36. Chapter Thirty-Six

Young children played recklessly in the great hall hours later, tossing a football back and forth between them as several adults attempted to corral them. Sitting on a bench to one side of the action, Cortana was content to simply be together with her mate.

She reclined against Riaz, her back flush with his chest. He gently massaged her hand, almost purring behind her, as she enjoyed his touch, eyes closed.

Gadriel, Arno, and Nico had all approached them separately to offer their congratulations and express their support. She'd been overcome with gratitude that she was now a part of this pack. As the alpha's mate, she had unintentionally gained a leadership position, and there would be no complaints about that from Cortana.

After Drake had stepped into a broader position at D'Ancouer, she'd been floundering. Assuming a similar role here in Riaz' pack—her pack—was the icing on the cake. As her alpha wolf pressed a kiss into her neck, she sighed in contentment.

"My perfect little vampire mate," he mused, his teeth replacing his lips. "Whatever will I do with you?"

"I'm sure you can come up with a few things, Fluffy."

He scoffed. "I thought you'd forgotten that nickname."

"Never."

His teeth reattached to her neck, nipping slightly before trailing a row of scorching kisses down to her shoulder. Chuckling, he sighed and became solemn.

"I should probably tell you how Fluffy came to be, huh?"

She stiffened against him, hating the way all the happiness left his voice. Sifting her fingers through his, Cortana said, "I won't force you to, Riaz. If you want to wait—or never tell me at all, that's okay. I won't make you revisit that period of your life."

Knowing how much his family had hurt him and the solitude that followed, she wouldn't press, especially if it wounded him to relive it.

"It's okay—I want you to know where I came from," his hand tightened around hers, "and what happens with a first shift. As alpha female of this pack, you'll see it soon enough."

She nodded, remaining silent.

"My mother was out gathering fruit when she was killed by the rogue wolf," he began. "She'd been missing for hours, and I went out to look for her alone. It was night by the time I heard her distant shrieking, the cries for help that still ring in my nightmares. By the time I found her, she'd lost too much blood, and was already gone."

The breadth of the despair that washed through their mating bond made Cortana's heart twist. Nestling further into Riaz, she urged him to continue.

"The wolf came after me next, sinking its teeth into my arm when I blocked the bite that had been aimed at my throat. I can still remember the gleam in his eyes, the way he circled me. I took the blade from my belt, and I was ready for him the next time he lunged for me.

"By luck, I managed to plunge the blade into his eye. It must have been enough of a shock that, even in his feral state, it caused him to run." His features pinched, and Cortana's arms tightened around him. "Scaring him off achieved nothing; my mother was still dead, and I would turn werewolf at the next full moon. Thirteen days later, I did."

"What happened?"

"Ever since my mother had passed, I'd suffered from hallucinations, migraines, and tremors. She was the only one who cared for me, and once she was gone, no one paid much attention. At one point, I heard my father's heartbeat beside me, the thrum of blood in his veins. I was certain I was going crazy."

Taking a breath, he said, "The night I turned, the moonlight was suddenly too bright, and I went inside to seek shelter. I thought my maker was hiding in every shadow, waiting, coming to finish what he'd started. Every sense was too harsh: the distant scent of food made my mouth water, and the film of dust gritting against my skin felt like sandpaper. There was this … anxiety that raced beneath my skin: something primal, something feral. And it wanted out."

Riaz took a minute to gather his thoughts, and Cortana gently run her fingers down his forearm, tracing patterns into his skin as he thought about the night that changed his life.

"Once I was inside my father's homestead, I collapsed next to the hearth. My father yelled at me to be less clumsy, but the sound was loud—too loud—for my ears. I can remember the agony that tore through me, the pressure that pushed at my skin until I thought I'd burst apart.

"When I finally gave in, let the change take me, the pain stopped," he breathed. "I was paralyzed for a few moments during the transformation process, my brothers and father screaming at me from across the room. My bones snapped and reformed, my center of balance shifting towards my chest. It was the strangest thing, Cort: my body felt both foreign and completely natural."

"It must've been strange," she said. "As a vampire, I am something completely different than what I was born as, yet I still look exactly the same as the day I was turned. For you, everything changed that night." She paused, then added. "It actually makes me wonder about something Renata said."

It was his turn to be confused. "Renata?"

"When she came into your quarters that day, Renata said your family rejected you; that you were all alone. What did she mean by that?" A note of hesitation crept in her voice. "But Riaz, please know: I don't want you to relive the darkness for me if you're not ready."

He'd known this was coming. Yet his soul still seemed to collapse in on itself, the bottom of his stomach dropping to his feet. For a moment, all he could do was look at her and keep the bile from suffocating him.

He'd own up to all of it. Though there was no pride to be had in his cowardice that day, he'd paid it off long ago with crushing solitude.

"The first thing I saw after I fully shifted for the first time was a shoe flying past my head, then another. My father's face was contorted in a rage I'd never seen before, and he was desperately chucking things at me like I was a demon or an evil spirit. Anything within reach, he threw at me, trying to get me out of his house like he didn't know it was me. Like I wasn't his son anymore."

Dragging a hand across his face, he continued. "One glance at my brothers made it even worse. They'd stopped screaming once my change was over, and they just sat there, petrified, making no move to stop him. Which was a rejection all the same: by being passive, they denied me at my most vulnerable. And then, one by one, they started to pick up things and throw them at me, too. My youngest brother chose a flaming stick from the hearth."

"No one in your family took a stand for you, said anything to defend you?" Cortana asked, shocked.

He shook his head. "When my father picked up a hatchet, I knew I had to leave. Fire had caught on the things that had been thrown at me. It quickly spread over the hearth and out of the stone that'd been built to contain it, adding to my confusion. I was still in shock from the change—the cocktail of hormones that we release during it can be overwhelming to new wolves. But I only understood that much later. With the fire and my father's hatchet both coming for me, the only solution was to flee."

"Did you ever see them again?"

"I discovered later that the entire homestead had gone up in flames. My father and brothers had passed, and nearly everyone I'd known was among the dead." He gave a bitter laugh. "I don't even know why I returned. I hadn't really expected that my family would somehow change their minds about me. Their lives weigh heavily on my conscience nonetheless."

"It's human nature, Riaz. And we were both human once." She gently rubbed her thumb across his forearm, a soothing movement. "We seek approval, even in cases where we know it's not good for us. I can't even imagine how hard that was for you."

His wolf brushed against his skin, and he felt her sorrow through their mating bond. Pressing a kiss to her cheek, he held her closer.

"It was a horrible time in my life. I had no hope, I was alone, and I'd been bitterly rejected by the people who were supposed to care most about me." Sighing, he closed his eyes. "I felt like I was a monster beneath it all, like I was no longer worthy of love and affection."

"You're no monster, Riaz. You're the hero. The knight in shining armor. And you know I believe that."

"I know that's how you see me, Cort. The fair maiden has tamed the beast, and the beast is grateful with each breath."

She turned over his hand to gently press her lips against his knuckles. "What happened to you after? How did you find other werewolves?"

"Aidan was the one who found me."

The vampire searched his gaze, silently urging him to continue.

"For an alpha to be by himself—it's both torturous and tragic. We're built to care for other people, and it can be dangerous for us to be alone. I was on my own for three months after being bitten, and every night, I'd voice my pain to the sky, knowing no one would hear me. Sometimes, the feral one who made me crept back into my nightmares, watching me, and I'd wake up and run until I collapsed. It got to the point that I couldn't run anymore—that I no longer cared—and I stopped running. I started to think that even if it was the feral one, my mother's killer, who answered back, it would have been better than the lone howl."

She knew without a doubt he had been ready to face death, and maybe even sought it.

"Then, one night, a powerful beast stared at me through the brush. He was different, sane, and his presence was overwhelming. My wolf immediately rose to challenge this other alpha, baring teeth and snarling, on the edge of going feral myself. Try as I might, I wasn't dominant to him."

Cortana's fingers interlaced with his and squeezed.

"When Aidan shifted back, he compelled me to go human, too. I wondered if he'd kill me, but instead of cruelty, he showed me mercy. He was kind in a vicious world. Took me in and gave me a new family, helped me learn about being a good alpha. It was the start of a new life."

"I'm glad he found you, Riaz," his mate whispered. "I hate the thought of you being alone."

"Good thing I'll never be alone again, Mistress of Shadows."

"You never need to fear it. I will never abandon you. You're mine; I've claimed you. And if anyone so much as thinks about isolating you again, I'll eviscerate them and leave them out for the wild wolves to find."

Riaz couldn't contain the chuckle that bubbled in his chest. "Bloodthirsty, I like it. Fate is certainly a fickle creature. But I'm not complaining, especially when it gave me you."

***

Twenty-four hours after the attack on D'Ancouer, Cortana resumed her post. Remmus, delighted to retake his taxi role, escorted them to her grandsire's Lexington House where the majority of their residents had been taken for recovery.

Fortunately, D'Ancouer boasted a large percentage of exceptionally gifted older vampires, hailing from strong bloodlines and overcoming any poisoning without repercussion. They were fortunate that none had died.

The worst off, surprisingly, was Drake. When his people had been endangered, he'd answered the call, physically taking them from the poisoned—and then burning—building alongside Riaz and Gideon. Though he was an ancient vampire, burns had lined his trachea and the sunlight particles entered his blood stream, depleting his strength and stamina along with it.

Drake's sire, Nina, had personally taken the responsibility of restoring him to health. When Cortana found him in the den of the expansive Kentucky estate, his fangs were lodged in her arm.

Averting her eyes, she halted a respectful distance away. As with any feeding, it was private, personal, and when done with their sire, it held an added layer of familiarity. Toni's features were lined in worry, her fingers resting on his back as the Greek vampire finished his feed and respectfully sealed the twin puncture wounds in Nina's arm.

"Thank you, sire," he muttered benevolently, his voice still raspy. "We cannot repay your aid."

"Nonsense. I'm happy we caught it before it claimed any lives." Ice blue eyes, telltale of the breed's founder, focused on the wolf at Cortana's side. "I think we have you to thank for that, don't we?"

Shrugging, the alpha smiled. "Team effort, Nina. Remmus played an important part."

"Of course I did." The swaggering male in question brushed past them only moments later, happily munching on a bag of chips. "M.V.P. right here."

Everyone else rolled their eyes, but Nina's stay fixed upon Cortana. The level of her attentiveness felt overwhelming for a moment, making her shift uneasily on her feet. Then, as if sensing Cortana's unease, Nina offered her a slight smile.

"I'm happy for you, Cortana."

At Nina's kindhearted words, she and Riaz became the focal point, as the rest of the room's inhabitants took them in with interested eyes.

Toni was the first one to break the silence, her bubbly voice an octave higher. "Are you mated?"

When Cortana's cheeks pinked, she turned to Riaz. The wolf, delighted, cinched an arm around his vampire's waist and pulled her into his body.

"All mine and proud of it."

A squeal was Toni's response before she bounded over to yank Cortana into an exceptionally strong hug, then doing the same with Riaz. Remmus started a slow, one-person clap while giving them an impish grin.

Drake was the only outlier. He'd clearly been shocked at the revelation and was dealing with it the best he could, eyes still wide with surprise, but his mouth was playing at a smile.

Unable to resist, Cortana called out to him where he still sat by the fireless hearth. "Sire?"

"First Rona and now you," he chuckled, his earthy-brown eyes dancing with mirth. "Perhaps I'll hold tight to my other fledglings, so I don't lose any more of them to precocious matehoods."

A grin split his lips as he took in Cortana's reaction to the word ‘precocious'. To her sire, she'd always be a youngling to be protected—a way of thinking she had new respect for, as the alpha of a wolf pack. Drake stood and closed the distance between them to wrap Cortana in his arms. Overjoyed by her sire's ready acceptance, she settled against his familiar frame.

"Unfortunately, sire, I think you'll need to find a replacement for me rather quickly."

Two weeks ago, if Drake had been injured or her House was in trouble, there'd have been no question as to her priorities. Now, the unfailing loyalty to her House had become second fiddle to the loyalty Cortana felt to Riaz.

Drake nodded after they pulled away and returned to their respective mates. "We have our work cut out for us, that is for certain. Who would you suggest to replace you?"

Of course, Cortana had thoughts.