32. Chapter Thirty-Two

Smoke poured into the hallway above his head, starving his lungs for a clean breath of air. He'd lost count of how many vampires he'd taken from the building, grabbing them from where they lay bleeding and unconscious.

It was only after clearing the tenth or eleventh floor that the first hints of rabidity whispered in his mind. The wolf, fur threatening to burst out of his skin, snapped ferally at the traces of sunlight in the air.

There wasn't time to stop and soothe him.

He'd barreled through what seemed like hundreds of doors, clearing them with Drake, Remmus, and Gideon. When the vampire had finally deemed the building empty, Riaz had sprinted back up the flights of stairs. If the building was going to burn—and there was no way of knowing for sure—there was one thing he knew his mate would want.

He made a beeline for Cortana's rooms where she'd left her belongings and most prized possessions. Door already off its hinges, he crashed inside, skidding a bit on the overly polished floors—because, of course—and slid into a wall.

Drywall dented and crumbled.

Growling, Riaz tore into what he perceived to be her bedroom, taking only a second to locate the handbag she'd had in his den. A noise of triumph sounded from his chest, as he grabbed it and ran out again.

The air, however, seemed to be thinning—and moving.

Jeremiah.

The air Elemental must have arrived. It was their only backup plan for when they knew the Citizens would strike in an air attack. Jeremiah, the strongest air Elemental to walk the planet, had offered the rulers of the immortal breeds an option for when ‘The Choke' took place: he would neutralize the threat and rid the air of the gaseous sunlight.

Riaz had heard of the other man's abilities through the grapevine: stopping bullets with a wave of his hand, becoming invisible, drumming up Cat 5 tornadoes on a whim. The man was an unparalleled threat.

Good thing he was on their side.

The bad news was that Riaz was still in the building while the Elemental was cleaning the air, and in the process, it thinned what little oxygen was available to breathe. When he leapt down the last few stairs, his legs collapsed under the strain, sending him sprawling across the landing. The impact bit into his knees a second before his palms slapped against the floor.

He sucked in a deep breath through the mouth covering. Gaseous sunlight filtered into his lungs, and an instant later, a burning sensation followed.

It felt as though he were swallowing mouthfuls of glass, slicing through his lungs. Every second was torture. His wolf, already enervated and agitated, growled deeply beneath his skin. The darkness courted the beast within him.

As he remained frozen, battling against the seductive loss of control, his sanity began to slip away. Everything that had made him who he was slowly began to disappear beneath the shifting sands of rabidity.

Riaz gritted his teeth, desperately clutching to the vanishing images of his life: Cortana running alongside him, his mother's lifeless body in his arms, the excitement of the pack during a party, Benny's face. As despair set in, he felt the presence of something other begin to warm within him.

Cortana.

Heat and light filtered through their mating bond, burning away the darkness that had begun to spread within him. It was her determination that renewed him, forced him to cling to the wolf with both hands, pulling the beast away from the precipice.

Together, they fought back against the sunlight that burned through him. He panted, slapping a hand over his mouth as he struggled to his feet.

Shaking his head to clear the dizziness, Riaz staggered toward the lobby doors and out into the turmoil of the street. Two hands cinched around his arm, yanking him further outside in the fresh air, conflicting with the irate tone of a very irritated vampire.

"What the hell were you doing?!"

Cortana was lodged against his chest, screaming curses that were muffled by his shirt. Gulping breaths of clean air, he tried to play it off, but he was too busy fixing the oxygen deficit that had been required while he played Knight in Shining Armor. Though stars danced along the edges of his vision, each lungful brought his eyes back into alignment.

"I'm fine."

Rearing back, cool blue eyes pierced him with a look that froze him to the bone. "You big oaf! Why didn't you come out when everyone was saved? You could've died! Why did you go back in?"

Taking one last big swallow of air against the burning in his lungs, he shrugged and thrust his hand in the handbag he had never let go of. "It seemed pretty important to you."

Instantly, her eyes were drawn to the ornate comb he pulled out, widening as she stared at it. Her fingers rose to hover over it, almost tentatively. Then, as if waking from a dream, she shook her head and glowered at him.

"In what world would I value an object over the life of my mate?"

His throat thickened, feeling as if a fist was shoved down his gullet. "We're not mates, Cortana. You made that perfectly clear."

Flipping her hand over, he dropped the comb in her hand and stepped away, trying to right himself while agony split him down the middle. His legs quivered weakly beneath him, but he pushed aside the sensation and straightened.

Tour buses were lined up alongside the House's curb, and scores of firemen and police loitered outside, behind yellow caution tape that'd been strung around the skyscraper's foundation. Beneath his skin, his animal howled, still fighting the effects of the airborne toxins.

Claws raked at his skin, the wolf demanding to be freed to run off the excess tension that'd built up from fear and anxiety. It had a dark edge to it that Riaz was wary off, and shifting when the rabidity loomed ominously in the distance was ill-advised. He couldn't allow it—at least not until he had a better grasp on his second nature.

Shaking his head, he nearly jumped out of his skin when Cortana's fingers wrapped around his wrist. When he saw the confusion and concern in her furrowed brow, he knew she'd continued speaking to him, and in his turmoil, he hadn't even heard her.

"What?"

"Riaz, come on." Worry crept into her voice. "We have to go."

He merely nodded, too weak to fight with her. He took weary steps across the pavement and into a waiting tour bus before meeting up with Remmus onboard.

"To Lexington?"

"No," Cortana said, resolute. "To Estes Park. Our pack."

Shock made Riaz's vision narrow. Blinking at her with confusion, his mouth opened, but no words formed on his tongue. Remmus recovered far more quickly, donning a one-sided smile before reaching out his hand.

Riaz's concern for her overshadowed his own need to decompress alongside his people. "But Cortana, your people—they're hurt."

"And so are you. My people will wait until tomorrow." She shook her head, her hand tightening on his. "What you need now is your own bed, your own pack. We're going to Estes. And Remmus, once you've dropped us off, come back here immediately." Then, after a pause, she added, "Please."

A nod before Remmus gripped his shoulder and they were all traveling through the ether once more. They landed on solid ground in the middle of the great hall. With a mock salute, the Raeth teleported away before he even had a chance to thank him.

Turning, he fixated on the vampire. "Why didn't you want to be with your people?"

"Because you're more important to me than they are."

His face screwed up in disbelief, but she seemed undaunted by it. In a world where she'd lashed out at him so many times, he had come to expect the push right about now.

"Don't toy with me, Cortana. Why are we here?"

"I'm not toying, Riaz."

She grabbed his jaw and locked gazes with him. As the orange of his wolf bled into his iris, she held her ground.

"Look at me, Riaz—I'm not playing games or lying," she challenged. "Right now, I can feel how weary you are. I can feel the darkness that you're fighting. Being among your pack is important—even I know that—and you need rest. You can't do that if we're in someone else's home."

A soft shake of her head. "I can feel how much you're struggling right now. Our mating bond tells me that much. You bore the brunt of that rescue, going into a building that was literally on fire for people you don't even know. And then you went back in for my comb."

"It seemed important to you," was all he could say.

Gripping it tightly in her palm, the prongs dug into her flesh as her lips wavered. "Thank you, truly, but I would never value this over your life." She sniffed. "You're my mate, Riaz, I know that now. My head just needed to catch up to my heart."

Releasing him, she squared her shoulders. "Now, let's go. It's way too late in the day for me to be awake, and I'm sure you'd like to sleep off some of that sunlight."

Though he cast her a leery expression, Riaz led them back to his quarters. They passed several of his pack on the way, every one of them running a hand over his shoulders or arms in gentle comradery.

Arriving at his quarters, Riaz immediately stripped off his shirt, hating the dampness of sweat and the stench of ash. Without glancing at Cortana, he strode into the bedroom to grab her a large white T-shirt. Upon returning, he held it out to her.

"To sleep in."

Her fingers brushed over his as she took it, and he tried not to notice the shot of electricity that pinged up his arm and straightened his spine. Or the hungry look that briefly crossed her eyes before he turned away, offering her privacy as she shrugged out of her top and into his.

And he desperately tried not to notice when her breathing—and his—grew more labored when she stepped out of her pants.

"I'm decent."

Her soft voice prompted him to turn around, taking in the sight of her smaller frame drowning in his shirt. Suddenly shy, she tugged at the hemline where it fell to her mid-thigh. Swallowing, he glanced at the bathroom, debating how effective a cold shower would be against his building desire.

"Sleep?"

His eyes jumped up to her face, a sheepish look briefly crossing his features as if he were a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Blinking a few times to process what she was saying, he nodded.

Clearing his throat, he motioned to his bedroom. "You want the bed?"

"No." She inclined her chin. "I want you."

Hearing was a fickle sense. One moment, Riaz would hear everything from the scratch of a pen to the distant howl of a wolf, and the next, it completely failed him. Shaking his head to clear whatever had muffled his ears, he muttered, "Come again?"

"I want you, Riaz," came her words once more, his dream spoken into reality.

Eyes closed, he willed himself to calm. This was surely a game to her, like when they'd chased each other in the woods, and he wouldn't allow himself to fall prey to her pretty little trap.

"Cortana, stop. As you've stated time and time again, there is no ‘us', and I'd appreciate it if you'd do me the solid of not mixing signals. I'm tired. I don't want you filling my head with what you think I need to hear, only for it to be taken away again later. I can't bear it, Pet."

"Don't trivialize my emotions," she snapped. "I know what I want and what I want is you."

He fought the urge to sneer. "You're only saying this because I saved your packmates. These words mean nothing to me when spoken out of ill-placed gratitude."

"This isn't gratitude," Cortana charged, fisting her hands on her hips. "I'm finally admitting what I actually feel—what I've been feeling all along. I just needed a bit of time to catch up."

"I don't need your pity."

"Is that what you're feeling through our bond? Pity and gratitude are what you're getting from me?"

Riaz hesitated. Needing to get away from Cortana by any means necessary, he'd done his best to block out what little emotion had crossed through the bond, except when he was too weak, and her presence had come bright and clear and pulled him from rabidity. Sighing, he dove into his own mind to strum an intangible finger along their unfinished mating bond. She had a point. Gratitude was there, yes, but that wasn't the presiding emotion.

No, the presiding emotion was passion.

It knocked him off his feet.

Clutching at his chest as though he expected his heart to leap through his ribs, Riaz shuddered. "Don't do this to me, Cortana. If you tell me you want me and then leave, I'll never survive it. Not again."

The sweet scent of fresh raspberries tickled his senses when she drew close, her fingers gently brushing up his chest in a shock of sensation.

"I'm not leaving, Riaz."

Emotion, so heavy and thick it caught in his throat, bubbling out of him in a low whimper. Closing his eyes, he savored the feel of her hand against his bare skin, the warmth of her fingers as they lightly played against the panes of his rigid abdomen.

And for a moment, he allowed himself to fall into her willing embrace, to cherish the confession before it all inevitably went down in flames around him.

Desire was molten in his veins, the unfaltering urge to enclose her into his arms and show her exactly what she'd been missing.

"Riaz, look at me." Her voice was soft, softer than he'd ever heard it. When he acquiesced, eyes of deepest brown caught his. "I'm not leaving you."

The canine whimper that rumbled in his chest was entirely that of his wolf, and Cortana didn't miss it. Immediately, her arms wrapped around him, her strength tempered in the cinching embrace. He wanted to collapse into her, to revel in the safety she provided.

But he couldn't—not if he didn't know her true intentions. Not if he didn't know if she'd complete the mating.

"Why do you fear solitude?" A mere whisper. "Why won't you go on a run alone?"

Everything he feared and boxed up suddenly came ramming back into focus. Flashbacks of that fated night when he first shifted seeped into his mind, both the rejection of his family and the crushing solitude that resulted from it.

A tremor wracked his frame, his wolf thrashing within him. Fearful for Cortana's safety, he stepped away from his mate. Her fingers gently cinched around his wrist, pulling him to a halt before releasing him.

"Please, Riaz. Please tell me."

Swallowing harshly, he collapsed onto the black sofa nearest them, pressing his palms into his eyes as he tried to wrap his head around her request. Before he could speak, she did.

"The comb was a gift from my late fiancé."

Jolting, Riaz pivoted to look at her where she'd landed next to him. Back ramrod straight, her dark eyes focused on the floor beneath their feet, lost to memories long-since passed.

"Aeneas and I grew up together, thick as thieves," she began. "We were the best of friends, and constantly by each other's side. When I was young, I was a vane creature, obsessed with how I appeared to society and making sure I always had the latest fashions."

She chuckled, then sobered. "That all changed when I was diagnosed with a withering sickness mere months after I turned twenty-three. Aeneas loved my hair, even when it started falling out, and gifted me that comb to make me feel pretty again. Drake, one my father's business contacts, heard of my predicament and offered me immortality.

"Aeneas stayed by my side throughout the ordeal, celebrating with me when I ‘miraculously recovered,'" she said.

Riaz instantly felt his heart soften, appreciating the other man for holding her together through what must've been a difficult circumstance. "He was a good friend."

Cortana gave a bittersweet grin and nodded. "He knew what I was but didn't hold it against me. He was a friend in the truest sense, a lover shortly after. When I was diagnosed, his parents sought to cut off the engagement, but Aeneas stayed true to me, and I counted my blessings."

He almost didn't want to ask. "What happened?"

"For months after I turned vampire, Drake incessantly schooled me on control and the necessity of maintaining strong boundaries between feeding and passion. The two weren't mutually exclusive, however, and pleasure from one often morphed into pleasure from the other. I wanted to give Aeneas the pleasure of being bitten, to give him that gift, but …"

She stopped, her emotion brimming in her eyes and cascading down her cheeks. "I took too much from him, Riaz. Aeneas died because I didn't stop. I lost myself to the feed, greedy for blood and loving that it was his.

"What started as an act of love turned into something very different. He'd been sifting his fingers through my hair at the start, and then he began to pull at it, trying to tell me I was drinking too fast … but I was too young, too enthralled with his blood," she whispered, guilt twisting her features. "Slowly, he stopped struggling, and the thing that I can remember thinking? Finally."

"Oh, Cort."

"When I eventually regained control, I realized he'd collapsed against me," she sobbed. "His hands had fallen away, hanging at his sides with pieces of my hair coiled around his fingers."

A low, wailing cry left her, and Riaz swiftly wrapped her in his arms, a circle of protection that he could only hope would help her.

Pulling her against his chest, he kept clear of her hair, knowing now why she'd been so averse to him touching it. The story behind the small treasure made his heart hurt.

"I'm so sorry, Cortana."

A sniffle, her fingertips coming up the rest delicately against the muscle over his heart. She sighed, and with it, felt the weight of the world coming off her shoulders.

"I've never forgiven myself. He loved me and I killed him."

"You said you were young." Riaz frowned, unable to stand the thought of her perpetual blame. "We don't blame pups for their ignorance, nor their youth. The trials of their adolescence build them into who they're meant to be. You can't blame yourself for things that happened when your nature was not yet under control and your experience limited."

He propped his thumb under her chin, his wolf peeking out at her through his eyes. "Aeneas wouldn't want you to, either."

Genuine truth flooded his statements, making her tears spill even faster. As she cried, Riaz picked her up, carrying her bridal style into the bedroom.

Knowing her exhaustion played some part in her breakdown, he tucked her into his bed, settling into the sheets behind her and pulling her into the safety and security of his own body. Brushing a kiss against her teary cheek, he sighed in content.

"Sleep, Pet. When we wake, things will seem clearer."