20. Chapter Twenty

A run with Ava had helped clear his head somewhat. Though older than him by three centuries, she couldn't maintain his blistering pace, but gave it a valiant effort. Riaz deliberately slowed to accommodate her, which meant his wolf remained on edge.

Tearing up the turf on the return journey to the den, a howl loosened from his throat, chorused immediately by the slate-grey wolf at his side. They still hadn't spoken of what'd happened the night before, the empathetic woman knowing he'd needed to expend energy before he could stand to discuss it.

The door to the den was open, and after shifting, he texted Renata to ask for a meeting. She typed out a clipped note in response, complete with an emoji kiss. Lip curling in disdain, Riaz closed his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face. Better to pull off the Band-Aid now than wait until that wound festered.

It took her only a minute to materialize by his side, the smug grin on her face making him nearly recoil when she drew near. "You summoned me, alpha?"

He nodded. "Let's speak in private."

Her arm coiled through his as they walked toward the pool, knowing it'd be mostly empty at this time of day. Though his wolf immediately took offense to her claim, he shielded his spark of anger, knowing it would all be sorted in a short time.

When they reached the glistening water, Renata turned to him expectantly. Strangely, the she-wolf was batting her eyes at him, leaning toward him as though he were about to ask her to mate with him. Hard pass.

Honesty was the best policy. "Whatever you think is between us is done, Renata."

Cat-green eyes widened to a comical degree, her mouth falling open. Blubbering words caught in her throat, an incomprehensible trail of syllables and consonants tumbling from her lips in no clear form of speech.

"I respect you too much to point you down a path I have no intention of following." Stoic, he stood apart from her, waiting to hear the scathing eruption he was sure would commence at any moment.

But resolve hardened in her eyes. "It's that vampire, isn't it?"

Frowning, Riaz exhaled. "I'd be lying if I said no."

Renata's wolf looked at him through her eyes, and an angry tide that churned ominously below the surface. "She'll be your end, Riaz. She's no good for you. A liar. A manipulator."

His wolf took immediate offense. A snarl hovered on his lips; his words were course with his temper. "Cortana is none of those things. She's shown you nothing but respect since she arrived, and all you've met it with is contempt. If you know what's good for you, you'll stop making yourself a nuisance before my wolf decides to enact vengeance."

Wincing as though he'd physically struck her, the she-wolf tucked tail and ran as though her life depended on it. It left him alone, the pool lapping gently within its boundaries beside him.

He let his mind wander to the woman who'd curled around him as he slept last night. Needing only four hours of rest, he'd woken while she was yet claimed in sleep.

He'd studied her stunning features, been floored once again by the gentle beauty of her. The long brunette braid had unraveled several tendrils as she slept, framing her face, and softening the sharp feminine line of her jaw.

He'd had a hard time extracting himself from where she'd curled into him, gathering his wits as he looked to the horrendous day that was ahead.

When he appeared in the great hall, Riaz was met with a compact, emotional wall of sorrow. His pack gathered around him, and he once again dedicated himself to their needs. A hug, a kind word, a sad smile for the little ones that clung to his legs. It was a bitter world, and he encouraged them to appreciate Benny's memory instead of gravitating towards grief.

It was advice he'd spoken but couldn't take, knowing that his sorrow wouldn't abate. It would ever remain a heavy weight around his neck that choked him from the inside out.

While Riaz had slept, the healers had determined that Benny had been shot with the combination bullets the Citizens had been manufacturing. Shot once in the hind leg, the colloidal silver and liquid sunlight formed an insurmountable chemical cocktail that the young wolf couldn't hope to resist. His rabidity had been unavoidable.

Benny, young and na?ve, had followed the patrol to the warehouse yesterday in his wolf shape, and been shot when he unintentionally surprised a perimeter guard. The two scouts Riaz had sent hadn't known he had shadowed them until the commotion outed them as well, but they had the good sense to remain hidden among the shadows instead of leading the guards back toward the den.

And now Benny was dead. At Riaz's hand.

Guilt crashed into him and brought Riaz to his knees. Fisting a hand in his dreadlocks, he ground his teeth together to stop the wail that threatened to erupt.

He'd had no choice but to end Benny's life. No one came back from rabidity once it was firmly in control. As much as Riaz had tried to compel him as his alpha, and then beg as a man, in the end it hadn't mattered. The youth had been lost as soon as that bullet had entered his body.

Riaz should've known. He'd never seen a youngster so keen to prove himself, one that had demonstrated such a concerning level of recklessness in years past. Even in the face of all the evidence, Riaz hadn't wanted to shackle the boy.

After his family had been killed by the Citizens' hunter, Benny had lost himself to training. Riaz had personally mentored him, taking delight in his enthusiasm and drive, and seeing leadership traits in the younger wolf that mirrored his own. He'd allowed Benny freedom to roam—and the pup had followed his curious nose into business he had no place being. He'd been a joy to be around, and now, that light had been snuffed out.

Discussion about the funeral pyre that would be lit that evening was bleak but essential. Riaz's responsibility extended to laying the young wolf to rest and then guarding over the pack while they mourned. Everyone would attend, even humans like Gwennie who still called the pack their own.

As morning gave way to afternoon, plans solidified and were put into action. Riaz's wolf had remained somber, lending him strength when he could. Ava was never far away, most likely having sense his deep need for companionship.

The moment Cortana stepped into the great hall, his wolf perked.

Something had fundamentally changed between him and Cortana in the hours they'd lain together, content in each other's presence. No hesitation showed in her stride when she walked toward them, her eyes darting between him and Ava.

"Sleep well?"

The domestic question caught her off guard. "I did, surprisingly."

"I'm glad."

His response was flat and contained only a note of concern for her. He couldn't muster his usual carefree tone. It was as if someone had strung him up and twisted all the happiness from his bones, then had sent him into the world to exist as an empty shell.

"We've determined that the bullet that turned Benny rabid was silver-sunlight compound." With a deep breath, Riaz continued, "We're now certain that the people who run the plant are partnered with the Citizens, not just a supplier."

Cortana gave him a solemn nod. "I'm sorry about Benny, Riaz."

"It's my fault," he admitted. "In more ways than one. I should have tried more with him. I should have known he'd follow them. Should have given him a vaccine."

"You couldn't have foreseen this, Riaz."

Shaking his head, Riaz replied, "It's my responsibility to keep them safe."

"I was the one he lunged for," Cortana whispered. "It's partially my fault, Riaz. You killed him in my defense."

A growl stalled in his throat. "That wasn't your fault. You were there because of me—you weren't the reason he went rogue."

"And neither were you."

Cortana's words were decisive, holding no trace of grey, but the truth was very much the opposite. If Riaz had made different decisions yesterday, Benny would still be alive.

Ava's fingertips brushed over his forearm where it was folded against his chest. For a brief moment, Cortana swayed forward, her expression darkening, before catching herself. The wolf within Riaz noticed. The beast cocked his head, wondering if the movement was possessive or jealous.

But the vampire looked away, frowning when she noticed Renata across the hall. Positively enraged, Renata's gaze promised retribution—not on Riaz, but on Cortana. He'd been watching the she-wolf all day, hating the fact that she was upset but knowing no good would come of confronting her again.

When Cortana returned her attention to Riaz, he said, "I told Renata that we were through."

Her face went slack. "Surely not because of me?"

Everything hinged on his answer, though he had no idea what she yearned for. Did she want some type of confirmation he wanted her? Or for reassurance that he didn't?

"And if it was, Pet?"

A blink was the only sign of her surprise. "I—you and me—we're not an item, Riaz. You know that."

For a beat, Riaz didn't respond, merely gazing at her features as he etched her into his memory. Now was neither the time nor place to expose the bond between them. Instead, he gave her a reverent bow of his head.

"As you wish, Cortana."

When his attention returned to Ava to discuss the funeral plans for later today, the vampire went silent. Had she been expecting something else? Anger, or tears, perhaps? That he'd fight tooth and nail for her—even though she wasn't willing to do the same for him?

The next hour ushered in more guilt and bitterness for Riaz. The alpha had made the call to Benny's extended family earlier that day, werewolves of a different pack that'd entrusted Benny's guardianship to him. They were devastated and had arrived at the den already broken in spirit. The young werewolf had been twenty-five when he died—a quarter century when he should've had hundreds of years ahead of him.

The funeral commenced as soon as the sun set. Attendees, grim faced and stoic, gathered around the massive pyre that'd yet to be lit. Cortana hovered near the perimeter, remaining set apart from the throng of werewolves.

Riaz spoke, his words kind and unfailing, his mournful gaze focused on the young wolf who'd been reverently placed atop the wooden pedestal. He owned his actions, taking the responsibility for Benny's death. Though he didn't see condemnation in the faces of those around him, he'd been the one to mismanage and end the young wolf's life.

When he lit the pyre, he watched in silence as the flames built and the roar of the fire consumed the wood and the body that lay within. Haunted by flames that were long-since dead and uneasy with being so close to the blaze, his wolf paced restlessly underneath his skin.

As the fire began to smolder, his pack took to their four-legged forms, howling a sad song to the rising moon. Riaz remained, standing guard as the flame continued to dwindle deep into the night. Only Cortana waited with him, unwilling to leave him alone, even when only smoke and ash remained.

It was an alpha's duty to protect the pack, and his failure to do so wouldn't be set right by his penance. Still, he wouldn't join his wolves in their run or their howl. Glancing at the empty den, he realized he couldn't return to the empty halls either. Across the clearing, his vampire waited as if knowing how much he hated solitude and how deeply that trauma affected him.

In the months after his initial shift, he'd been forced from his home, running from his family's lack of acceptance with his tail tucked like a coward. Days had turned to weeks, and weeks had turned to months. Riaz had figured out how to return to his human form but hadn't understood the nuances of the shift. He'd been forced by circumstances to remain as the wolf, fearing the nakedness and vulnerability of his human side.

At night, his howls were always met with silence, his solitude a strain on his heart. Then one night, they'd been chorused by another, the wolf drawing near to his mournful cries as if by fate.

Meeting Aidan had saved his life. The loneliness had slowly been crushing his will to live, suffocating the alpha nature that had just breathed into life beneath his skin. Aidan had helped him survive, be happy, and start learning how to thrive.

"Riaz?" Cortana's voice pulled him back to the present. She'd appeared at his side while he'd been lost in thought, memories clouding his senses.

"Cortana." Voice deep with emotion, he forced a smile. "Walk with me?"

Her hand was a solid weight in his, tethering him to the present. In his chest, the ghosting mating bond thrummed with contentedness, and for the moment, he merely relished the feeling.

Mine.

"Why did you not shift with the others?"

Riaz glanced at her, his mouth pulling taut. "The alpha always stays until the fire has cleared. And if the life was lost due to alpha error, they don't join the pack run immediately following the pyre, as penance."

"But it wasn't your fault."

"It's always the alpha's fault, Cortana." He owned the mistake, unwavering. "Benny was my responsibility, and his life was lost because I didn't foresee his choice to shadow the runners. I didn't allow him a chance to spread his wings earlier, I didn't see that someone as eager as him should have been given the vaccine, as he was sure to put himself in harm's way. My dominance wasn't enough to call him back from crossing over, and then I killed him. His loss is a monument to my mistakes. I don't deserve the release of the communal run."

She hesitated, then asked a loaded question. "Is that why the fire troubled you?"

"No," was all he could say at first, his mind thrown back into the memory that haunted his waking moments.

Shouting. Screaming. The roar of a fire, spreading wildly, an uncoordinated pup racing away from the smoke, the conflagration singeing the ground behind him as it spread.

"The first night I shifted, something caught fire close to me. The flames moved fast, taking advantage of the dry grasses and woven blankets and using them as kindling." Clenching his hands, he continued, "When I tried to escape, I found myself trying to figure out how to move four legs instead of two."

Shaking his head, he swallowed against a throat thick with fear. "The fire spread quickly over the plains surrounding my family's homestead. I attempted to outpace the flames, but wildfires catch fast, and I couldn't move quickly enough."

He looked down at his hands, opening and closing them as if to see the burns that'd once been there. "My paws, my legs, back, stomach—nothing escaped the fire. Ever since then, my wolf has been skittish around flame, and there's nothing I can do to combat it."

Cortana was quiet for a beat before responding. "I'm sorry that happened to you. It must've been awful."

"It was," he admitted. "But the burns faded after a week, and my coat grew back in eventually. You'd never know I almost burned to death as a young pup."

Her fingers tightened around his. Walking in silence for a beat, Riaz allowed Cortana's presence and the sounds of the night to soothe him. A cooing owl, a chorus of cicadas, the pack of wolves that were bound to him. Ava was leading them, burning off the frenetic energy that'd accumulated among them during the pyre.

"You talk about the wolf like he's a separate entity to you sometimes."

There was nothing but curiosity in Cortana's tone, and he felt inclined to answer her. "My wolf is a manifestation of the primitive part of my soul; we're two parts to the same whole. His instincts, his desires, his needs—they're my own, only magnified. While we occasionally refer to them as a separate being, it's not entirely the truth."

He caught her nod in his peripheral vision, lifting his gaze to the sky to relish in the moon's light. And then she spoke again.

"So, do you have a name for your puppy?"

Laughter shot out of his mouth, surprising through all the grief of the past hours. "My puppy?"

"Yeah, wolf-Riaz," she clarified, dead-serious. "What's his name?"

Throwing her an incredulous look, he didn't respond—and blamed himself when she began throwing out ridiculous names for his wolf double.

"Butch? Spike? Rizzo? Groucho Barks? Balto?" Tapping her chin with a manicured nail, she suddenly smirked. "Nah, let's go Fluffy. That fits your temperament so much better."

He stopped walking, mouth gaping with mockingly narrowed eyes. "Fluffy. Fluffy? You want to name my wolf—me—Fluffy?"

"It's perfect. And if you keep stealing people's ice cream, it will suit your human half too."

She made a move to poke his completely flat abdomen, as if it was a round Santa belly. All Riaz could do was stare at her, open mouthed, as she grinned.

Fortunately, the sounds of a snake moving through the underbrush saved him from whatever foul response would've left his tongue.

Cortana's screech sounded directly in his ear. When she leapt into his arms, her nails dug into his shoulders and her legs locked around his waist as she desperately tried to get away from the slithering creature that crept over the path in front of them.

Clearly, she'd been a vampire barnacle in a past life.

Stock still, he could only continue to support her as she stared, wild-eyed, at the snake while it disappeared off the path. Chuckling, Riaz waited until she had exhaled a steadying breath.

"Scared of snakes, huh?"

Only then did Cortana realize the predicament she'd put them in. Clinging to him, her eyes went wide when she turned her face toward his and they were mere inches apart.

And her shockingly sophisticated response was, "Um."

The grin that spread his lips was a mile wide. Gently loosening his grip on her, she slowly—achingly slowly—slid down the front of his body until her feet touched the ground. Even when she stood on her own two feet, she didn't step away.

Cortana was ensnared in his eyes, peering into them as if she'd discover gold in a rainbow. A shiver of pleasure rioted across his skin where she continued to hold his neck, no longer in fear or surprise, but desire. His body betrayed him.

Unable to resist her tantalizing fragrance, he dropped his nose to the column of her throat, inhaling the sensual raspberry aroma that tickled his senses.

Her response was to brush closer into his core. Need boiled deeply within him, and for a moment, he was lost to the beating drum that was the mating bond.

They were intertwined, as if they had grown around each other like tree vines, each of her curves complimenting his muscular body. Acknowledging their ties became as necessary as breathing. Riaz knew without a doubt that if given free reign, his animal would bind them together without waiting for her consent—something the man would never do.

He took a step back.

Her arms fell by her sides, the briefest traces of confusion and regret touching her features before being wiped clean. He plastered his customary smile over his face once again, though it felt hollower this time. Fake.

"Do you typically snake-plant to drive women into your arms?"

"Snake-planting?" Riaz chuckled, offering her his hand once more. "And how would I have known you were deathly afraid of snakes?"

"Some type of werewolf hocus pocus, I'm sure."

He was pleased when her fingers curled around his with complete trust. "Is that like Dracula divination for vampires?"

"Precisely. We're always scrying for new blood."

A devilish snigger barked from his throat, enjoying her company like his wolf loved the feel of spring grass beneath his paws. The prickly vampire had the audacity to hiss at him, but as she turned away, he caught the hint of a smile she'd concealed with a well-placed hand.

Moonlight leafed through the canopy of sparse trees, night sounds harmonizing in a lullaby. Neither predator had reason to fear the dark, both were nocturnal by nature. One, however, longed to shift beneath the moon.

"I loathe snakes," Cortana finally admitted. "Always have, always will."

"Shall I chase it down and ensure its properly disciplined for frightening you?"

"Let it slither along on its merry way." She feigned a shiver. "I have a feeling even Fluffy couldn't find it now."

Riaz stopped in his tracks. "You doubt me?"

"Your masterful snake-sleuthing skills?" Her eyebrows rose. "Yes."

His wolf perked, tail wagging, as he rose to the challenge. Salivating with the need to show her just how quickly he could find the stray animal, he said, "Oh, my darling Lady of Darkness, you're on."

Her fingers swiftly tightened around his, yanking him to a stop when he went to turn. "Riaz—don't. I was just kidding. I believe you. Please—please don't go find it."

Fighting a smile, he asked, "How else would I prove my superior detective abilities?"

Riaz could literally see the wheels turning in her head, scrambling for anything to stop his attempt to find the snake. He'd never seen low-key panic on her face before, and he waited patiently for her response, happily memorizing every second of her bewilderment. He had a feeling it was rare.

"What about a game instead?"

He focused on her suspiciously. "A game? What type of game?"

"How about we see whether your tracking skills are a match for my speed?"

The competitive tilt of her head and sly smirk that followed told him exactly what he needed to know. Under his skin, the wolf leapt in anticipation, tearing at Riaz's control with the sudden need to shift.

"Five minutes to find you, one minute head start."

Fire blazed in Cortana's eyes. "And if I win?"

"Oh, Pet," Riaz challenged, stepping close to inhale her scent once more. "You won't."

A rumble of pleasure purred in his chest as her face lit with unapologetic zeal, eager to prove him wrong. Shifting foot to foot, Cortana whipped around, taking off before he could even say go.

Like a pup, the shift overtook him as soon as she was out of earshot and his control wavered. On four paws, he shook his coat to settle it, letting his tongue loll out from his mouth to taste the air.

Raising his nose to catch her delectable scent, Riaz was true to his word and counted down from sixty seconds to afford her the chance to get away.

But there would be no escaping him.